I literally just created this blog to write about this like I could've written this anywhere else but wanted to talk about this here anyways
Just imagined (actually, it has been on my mind for the past two days) a song between We Know and Hurricane, and it was like----
It's kind of immediate after Burr, Jefferson and Madison exit Hamilton's office, and he's pacing around while having an internal conflict because he doesn't know if he can trust them and be sure they wouldn't try to use his affair with Maria Reynolds against him and his mind is just racing while he's trying to figure out what to do so the situation won't get out of control and his legacy isn't ruined and-
Who appears out of nowhere? BOOM! JOHN LAURENS
(more like his ghost but you get it)
Like, literally in the same spot where he last appeared, in Laurens' Interlude----
They look at each other, Alex kinda shocked like "Laurens????"
And Laurens like "Hamilton.", stoned face while looking at his friend.
Alex is turning away because "You shouldn't be here, you're supposed to be gone."
And John is trying to call his attention because he knows Alex fucked up but by how stressed his friend looked, he had to help him figure out what to do.
And basically most of the song is both of them debating, Alexander saying that he had to do something to guarantee that his enemies wouldn't share his affair with the public and absolutely destroy his legacy, while Laurens is just there trying to convince Ham to leit it go and to not give attention to them because, fuck it, he knew Alex and he knew that, if he were to do anything, he'd end up fucking up everything even more (at least, thinking like this as if Laurens chilled out after his death — after all, it was his own recklessness that got him killed in the first place).
But Hamilton's mind is just so confused that he just shouts to make Laurens shut up, and yells at him how he wasn't there for him when he needed the most.
Then there's like a little pause then Laurens sings:
L: I trusted you like I didn't trust my own mind
I could've never find anyone as astonishing as your kind
And I've lived for you until the last day of my life
So I won't let you ruin yours the way I ruined mine.
((if you got the hint YES Laurens is singing the same way as Angelica in "Satisfied" when she talks about Eliza: just to give a sort of "hint" to how Laurens felt about Hamilton when he was alive)
And probably it's just that part of the song where everything is a mess — Hamilton, more specifically — and then close to the end it's basically
H: I can't let this go, how could I ever go on?
H/L (at the same time): I can't let it gooo/You could let it goooo
And there's a little pause, they look at each other, and then Laurens says/sings:
And just when he turns away to get off the stage, Hamilton calls for him.
H: Wait! John. You're the last friend that I got.
L: Alexander. Do not throw away your shot.
(they quoting each other from Stay Alive----)
And then Laurens goes away and Hurricane starts as Hamilton seems to be having an even bigger existencial crisis.
So, I did have some inspirations, since Hamilton has this really interesting element (which I love a lot) of bringing previous songs' lyrics to new songs, as if to "reinforce" their meanings.
First off, I would like to say that, for the concept of the song, I was inspired by a cut song named "I have this friend". Unfortunately, it never made it past the draft. But the premise is pretty much Hamilton getting anxious about the affair and having told about it to TJ, JM and AB, and so he runs to Washing(dad)ton asking advice for "a friend" of his (himself. Because, haha, what friend are you talking about, Alex? They're either dead or kilometers away from you, the only thing that lasted for you was enemies). Even though I like the song, I guess it was for the better it remained at how it is. Or else, the timeline would've been too messy, since, in the song, Washington is still president, and "We Know" happens after he steps down. Unless Hamilton went to Washington on Mount Vernon, but I think Alex would've been too stubborn to do all this to talk about it to someone else he trusted. But yeah, you see where I came from. Hamilton getting advices from his dead friend/lover. ♡
Obviously, I HAD to put a "Satisfied" reference in this song because you can't tell me Laurens didn't drink his ass off so he could avoid thinking of the fact his lover was getting married and there was nothing he could do. So, making Laurens sing to "Satisfied" can imply that, in that time, he had the same heartbreak Angelica had when Alex married Eliza. So yeah, gay sadness, yay.
Also, I'm very obsessed with the song "Let it Go" (no, not from Frozen. The cut song from Hamilton), just listening to Washington and Eliza sing to prevent Alexander from doing anything stupid... it's a really good song. I wish Lin had kept this song alongside the original version of Schuyler Defeated in the Broadway version, they are awesome, and explain a lot about Burr's situation, alongside his family's. But I suppose they were cut because of the time, which is a shame. If they actually were in the musical, I swear I would've made this a "Let it Go (Reprise)" (since I think it would fit way better if these two songs were part of the musical, since it would be, like I said, a "comeback" to them, especially with Laurens saying "You could let it go" to Hamilton).
And finally, a special mention to the workshop version of Hurricane, which has brought me to tears every time I listened to it!!!! I understand that it was cut because of the time between Hurricane and The Reynolds Pamphlet (rip Anthony Ramos for having to play the dead gay lover and the son of Hamilton at the same time), but it was such a shameee. Just that single line put so much depth into Alex and John's relationship, simply by saying that Laurens would be the single person that could stop Hamilton from doing the greatest shit of his life. That, for me, says enough for itself.
(Yes, Laurens' saying "Or you could let it go" inspired me in the same line as Let it Go, but I had to mention it because no one talks about it and it's frustrating).
As for what I thought for the song itself, sure, I had to think on a reason to WHY Laurens would have appeared just now, but then, what I had in mind basically was: The song, more than anything, represents the internal conflict Hamilton is going through. Laurens would be a metaphor for Hamilton's more logical side, while Hamilton himself represent his emotional, impulsive side (which we know he is A LOT). Again, his logic claiming for himself to calm down and think straight (something he isn't ahem sorry I swear I'll take this seriously), while his intiscts are SCREAMING for him to do something, because he just KNOWS TJ, AB and JM could take advantage of their "secret" at any moment.
Now, you might ask: "Why Laurens?". Then I'll tell you.
In "Hurricane Workshop", Hamilton sings "The friend who would tell me not to do it is in the ground.".
Laurens represents Hamilton's logical side because Ham KNEW Laurens would say to him NOT to do something so stupid. They were way too close, they knew each other better than anyone could ever imagine. Hamilton knew Laurens would be the only person who could convince him to not write the Reynolds Pamphlet. Or, perhaps, the only person he would at least try to talk about the affair (that is, probably when he feels way too insecure about anyone else finding out, so he trusts his best friend to vent about everything that's happening). He sees in Laurens someone he can rely on, someone he could count at any time, his ride or die, his closest friend, or even more than just that. Since Hamilton never gave himself time to grieve his friend's death, he still imagines, wonders, practically wishes to know how things would be if Laurens was there for him. And when he has no one else to turn, he just... wonders what would his dear friend do. What would he tell him? Would he smack him in the head for being so ridiculous? Would he make him laugh it off? Would he take him to drink and celebrate the freedom they conquered (the freedom John never got to experience)? Would he embrace him and tell him everything would be okay? Would he tell him he loved him---?
Hamilton never let himself grieve Laurens' death, so Laurens' ghost (whether literally or psychologically, it's up to you) is haunting him to this day. And in a moment of stress like this, when he has no one else to talk to, he just wishes he had Laurens by his side, so he wouldn't have to go through this alone and, ultimately, do something very stupid. Which, guess what, he DID.
And then there's the fact that even if "Laurens" warned him and tried to guide him, Hamilton STILL thought that the only way to get out of this situation was to write about the affair and publish it himself. So you could say Laurens had failed to advise Hamilton, or rather, Ham had interpreted him wrong. I really can imagine John on the other side looking at Alex after he publishes the Reynolds Pamphlet and thinking: "Okay, I told you to not throw away your shot, AND THEN YOU DECIDED TO DO THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT I TOLD YOU????"
Now, if it's a metaphor involving Laurens, or if it's really his ghost there, it's just something that the public could get their individual interpretations about (if it was in the show). After all, such a complex thing couldn't be simply explained by only visualization. It'd be funny to see people's theories and them catching references from the song. I know this is not even a thing, and it might sound very cliche, but I really liked it :'D
Someone p l e a s e write this song. Or a fanfiction. Idk I just loved this idea for some reason. Maybe because it has been only recently that I've accepted my love for Lams (I have navigated on the "Lams" tag for the past week and I'm obsessed) and I'm finally back to my Hamilton phase.
Yeah, that's my idea, I guess. I know I rambled a lot, but I couldn't hold myself. I hope y'all like it. And English is not my first language, and I'm sure I wrote something wrong, so please, be kind 😅
