꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡ @hanayanaa - Tumblr Blog

Dec 1, 2024

(GFL Crack Fic) "The Firefight before Christmas"

Alternative Title: "What your average retail worker goes through during the holiday season"

Right before Christmas, the Commander asked Angelia and the rest of DEFY to guard everyone's presents. Deciding she had nothing better to do for the holiday, Angelia agreed and moved to oversee the defense of a bunch of toys. If she had known what was going to transpire, she would have brought more guns. Word Count: 3.8k

Date: December 23rd, 206X

Through a heavily secured door contained a relatively spacious and shiny black floored room. It was home to Griffin's Commander, well his second home anyway.

It was just his office, albeit a more empty one. The room only had two desks for work, a couple of decorations in the shelves behind him, and large amounts of data servers and file cabinets lined up along the walls.

Angelia sat in the desk next to the Commander, both of them performing the mundane task of filling out paperwork. G36 was also present, but she was in the middle of organizing their files before their day off on Christmas. None of the three said anything while the radio blasted a cheery Christmas tune.

"Rockin' around the Christmas tree At the Christmas party hop!"-

Normally, neither of human officers would have anything playing due to the same annoying songs playing ad nauseam. However, it was at the insistence of a certain adjutant that it be played to 'keep them in spirit'.

(Kalina) "Commander, Ange~!"

Kalina almost skipped happily through the door that slid open, bringing much needed coffee for the both of them.

(Commander) "Ah, thanks Kalina."

(Angelia) "Make mine the way I like it?"

(Kalina) "Yup! One sludge coming up..."

Kalina made sure that she had muttered that under her breath, turning back to the Commander and G36.

(Kalina) "Commander, we got the presents secure, right?"

(Commander) "Well, they should be unloading in the cargo bay under the disguise of our usual supplies. But as for actually guarding it...-"

G36 stopped what she was doing and her shoulders slumped, thinking in fear about what measures they put into place.

(G36) "Master, you and Kalina did not have Persica construct another machine, did you?"

(Kalina) "Wha-Psh, no! We wouldn't do that!...Well, without a few hundred extra precautions, anyway."

(Angelia) "You what now?"

(Commander) "Long story, basically on Halloween, G36 and Springfield stopped a rogue bot that stole the T-Dolls' candy."

Angelia exhaled through her nose in amusement, crossing her arms.

(Angelia) "So if you don't have a kill droid this time around, what's your plan on protecting these presents?"

The Commander leaned back into his chair, thinking on the answer to that question.

(Commander) "Well, I need T-Dolls that I can trust to guard it."

(Kalina) "There's some of the Sangvis Dolls we could ask."

G36 shook her head and her eyes squinted further in thought.

(G36) "As much as I have faith that they could protect it, I fear for their safety if some of our T-Dolls learn Sangvis of all people are assigned to do so."

The Commander nodded, raising a finger as he counted the amount of problems with that solution.

(Commander) "Plus, there's Architect who'd probably get way too eager and open the presents herself. Or Destroyer, like during Valentines. Or Alchemist, for the hell of it."

(Angelia) "...So that's a no go."

(Kalina) "Hm, Squad 404?...No, UMP9..."

Kalina crossed her arms, shaking her head in frustration.

(Commander) "And there's not a force in this world that could stop SOPMOD if she learned our presents arrived early."

(G36) "Master, perhaps you could leave it to Springfield and I once more? I could have some of my sisters and Lee-Enfield join as well."

(Kalina) "What? But we don't want you to work yourselves during another holiday again!"

(Angelia) "...Tell you what, Commander."

Everyone in the room turned to Angelia.

(Angelia) "How about you leave it to DEFY and I on Christmas?"

(Commander) "You'd seriously assign the girls to do that?"

(Angelia) "They listen to me, no questions asked. Consider it my present to you this year, Commander. Peace of mind."

The Commander sighed in relief as he leaned back into his chair, smiling as he adjusted his red uniform.

(Commander) "That'd be a huge relief, Ange. I guess I should mention you and DEFY have some presents in there too."

(Kalina) "Yeah, make sure you don't open them before, or you'll be put on the naughty list!"

Angelia scoffed as she crossed her arms.

(Angelia) "Think all of us humans are on there, already."

Date: December 24th, 206X Time: 22:30

Angelia adjusted her coat as she sat in a large empty warehouse, staring at the absolutely massive mountain of presents stocked up for every T-Doll and Human personnel in Griffin.

Despite the haphazard way they were organized, they were all lovingly wrapped. It was clear no machine did the wrapping, much to her horror. She would hate to be the one doing all that for every single being in this base.

She brought a chair along with her, casually resting in it as she heard the door slide open, revealing the rest of her squad. AK-12 gave a light hearted salute, though the respect was still clearly there.

(AK-12) "DEFY, reporting as ordered, Ange."

(Angelia) "At ease, everyone. This giant pile of cardboard waste behind me is our objective to defend for tonight."

AK-15 looked up at the presents, obviously confused about the objective.

(AK-15) "Christmas presents, ma'am?"

(Angelia) "Yup. Our dear Commander requested that we make sure no one gets their hands on them early."

(RPK-16) "Well, this is certainly one of the more interesting operations we've been a part of."

RPK-16 commented, crossing her arms as her lips curled into vague amusement.

(AN-94) "Should we sweep the perimeter, ma'am?"

Angelia shook her head, motioning for the squad to get comfortable.

(Angelia) "No need, 94. We'll be able to hear anyone coming a mile away. Besides, no one knows their presents are even here."

AK-12 put a gentle hand on AN-94's shoulder and gestured her head forward, making her relax.

AK-15 simply leaned against the wall, her rifle slung on her side.

RPK-16 walked towards the presents and investigated it with her scanners, quickly finding DEFY's gifts.

They were all wrapped in black paper, with a white ribbon enclosing the boxes.

(RPK-16) "Aw, that's cute."

Angelia raised her head and chuckled along with RPK-16.

(AK-12) "Think the Commander had that special ordered for us?"

(Angelia) "Probably. Either he or Kalina did."

AK-12 laid on the floor, one leg simply resting on the other while AN-94 stood awkwardly at attention, staring straight at the door as if she was anticipating an attack.

(Angelia) "...Oh right, forgot to say this. Merry Christmas, girls."

(AK-15) "You as well, ma'am."

(AN-94) "Should I play Christmas music to keep the festive spirit up for the night, ma'am?"

(Angelia) "Do that, and I'm throwing a lump of coal at your head. I've had enough of those damn songs. How the hell are those songs still enduring after a near century, anyway?"

(RPK-16) "Humans do love their Christmas music, Ange. That won't ever change, evidently."

(AK-12) "At least it's not blaring on our systems 24/7."

...

A few hours passed and DEFY were casually chatting with one another. It was the first in a very long time that they had time to simply decompress.

Granted, the tension between AK-12 and AK-15 was ever present, but it was dimmed down given the lax nature of the operation.

Even AN-94 was talking a bit more than usual, much to Angelia's surprise.

Seeing her squad get to relax for once was honestly refreshing. Maybe she should ask the Commander if they can do this every year.

(AN-94) "It is hard to imagine what gifts the Commander would have gotten us."

(AK-12) "Maybe it's Vodka?"

AK-15's eyes were closed, but the tone of her voice suggested that she found the idea humorous.

(AK-15) "For you and 16, maybe. I don't require anything other than a trustworthy officer to lead us."

(RPK-16) "But you're not against the idea of a gift, are you?"

(AK-15) "It would be pointless, given we are androids."

(Angelia) "But you still didn't say no."

The girls quietly chuckled before AK-15's eyes shot open, turning towards the door.

AK-15's normally shut eyes did the same, while AN-94 and RPK-16 suddenly adopted a combat stance.

Angelia knew that they would not have reached for weapons if it were just a Griffin Doll approaching. Was there actually an enemy coming close, thinking this was something valuable?

Regardless, she would not let anyone lay a damn finger on one of these boxes.

(Angelia) "12? What are you scanning?"

Everyone held onto their guns, ready to move out the door while AK-12's pink irises adjusted their focus.

(AK-12) "Motion trackers are picking up something a hundred meters from here. Multiple contacts, it looks like-"

Suddenly, there was distant gunfire, and the distinct sound of an explosion.

Angelia loaded the magazine into her own rifle and immediately began giving out the commands.

(Angelia) "AK-12, AN-94. Investigate the area. AK-15, RPK-16, seal the entrances to this place besides the front door. I'm contacting the Commander."

Everyone nodded and attended to their tasks given. Angelia moved to grab her radio before realizing it was being jammed. Only static was coming through.

(Angelia) "Shit."

(Distant Voice) "H-Ho, Ho HEEEELP!"

Suddenly, everyone stopped what they were doing and all turned to towards the door, looking extremely confused on what they had just heard.

(RPK-16) "Wow, the lungs on that human."

(AK-12) "...I'm not detecting any human in the AO."

(Angelia) "...Then what exactly are you picking up? T-Dolls?"

AK-12 frowned. That alone was enough to send alarms ringing through everyone's heads.

(AK-12) "Unknown, Ange. All I'm seeing is movement...Wait, it's getting closer!"

All of the DEFY T-Dolls put on their masks and aimed their guns at the target moving closer to the warehouse, and it was approaching rapidly.

AK-15 immediately had Angelia stand behind her, still aiming her gun at the door. Angelia knelt alongside RPK-16, who mounted her machine gun onto the floor for better stability.

AK-12 and AN-94 hopped behind several crates, aiming at the door, watching as the target came closer.

And without warning, a massive red sleigh burst through the walls, and several reindeer tumbled and fell onto the gray floor, the snow from the outside trickling in as DEFY watched in utter confusion of what they were witnessing.

The reindeer closest to DEFY had a glowing red nose, staring right at AN-94.

(AN-94) "...What?"

Everyones weapons pointed right back at the sudden movement coming out of the sleigh, and it revealed a large red coated man with a long white beard.

(???) "Ho, ho, ho my GOD! Thank goodness you all are here!"

The large man stepped forward before everyone's guns trained on his head.

(AK-15) "Move a step closer and we open fire."

The man did not appear to be intimidated. In fact, he was more offended than anything.

(???) "Hmph! And here I was, considering on putting you on the Nice List this year, AK-15!"

The mention of her name made everyone tense up.

(Angelia) "Alright, enough with the Santa bullshit, just who the hell are you?"

His steely gaze turned to Angelia, adjusting his tiny glasses as he stepped forward.

(???) "And such naughty words, Anna! What happened to the festive cheer you had a moment ago?"

Immediately, Angelia pulled the trigger at his feet, a gunshot echoing throughout the warehouse. This person's intel was better than she thought if they knew her real name.

(Angelia) "The festive cheer is going right between your eyes if you call me that again."

But once again, he seemed more offended.

(???) "Why, I never!...Hm, no. Considering your lives, I should not judge so harshly. After all, I am here to deliver presents to Griffin as well!"

(AK-12) "So, are you going to introduce yourself?"

The man puffed out his belly in pride.

(???) "Santa Claus!"

(Everyone) "..."

(AN-94) "Santa does not exist. Are you a T-Doll?"

(Santa) "Miss AN-94, do you not find it strange that none of you can detect me, or my reindeer here?"

DEFY looked at the lifelike Reindeer, then back to the sleigh, and finally the man calling himself Santa.

(AK-12) "What, did Sangvis suddenly gain a sense of humor?"

(Santa) "Young AK-12, I am not an automaton, I am the flesh and blood Santa Claus himself! And I am here to make a delivery to everyone, yourselves included!"

Angelia scoffed.

(Angelia) "What, are we getting coal this year?"

(Santa) "If you keep this nonsense up, yes!-"

Santa was suddenly cut off as a stray bullet almost hit him, making him leap for cover and forcing the rest of DEFY to shift their attention. The rest of the Reindeer looked at each other and ducked for cover as well.

(Santa) "ACK! They're here!"

(RPK-16) "For being such a large man, you move very quick-"

(Santa) "That is rich, coming from a Machine-Gun T-Doll!"

It was RPK-16's turn to look offended. Did Santa just call her fat?

(AN-94) "Santa, what is attacking you?"

Santa turned to AN-94, somewhat relieved that someone was taking him seriously. Or at least giving him the benefit of the doubt.

(Santa) "Snow-Dolls, and yes I am being serious!"

While Angelia and RPK-16 had their weapons on "Santa", AK-15 moved towards the hole in the wall, carefully peeking out.

(AK-15) "Impossible, there is no such thing as Santa, and there are-"

AK-15's eyes widened in shock, seeing beyond the horizon an approaching army of moving snowmen.

All armed with guns made of snow.

One of their button faces turned into a frown as soon as they saw her, and a bullet made of snow almost took her mask off as she leaned back behind the wall.

(Angelia) "15, report!"

(AK-15) "Multiple targets are...indeed, Snowmen. All armed, and intent on killing us."

Angelia sighed and turned to "Santa", motioning for everyone to take up positions.

(Angelia) "If you're lying to us, I will hang you with your own fucking hat."

(Santa) "All I ask is for enough time for me to escape, I am on a tight schedule! I will have to unload your presents here, then I will be on my way! I promise!"

(Angelia) "This is not how I imagined my Christmas Eve would be...DEFY, take offensive formation!"

AK-15 nodded and punched out a large slab of the concrete wall that vaguely resembled a roadblock, using it as a makeshift portable cover, advancing out towards the open.

AN-94 and Angelia rushed behind her, taking cover and opening fire on the incoming snowmen, forcing them to scatter and rush behind the trees. Well, slide behind cover, to be precise.

AK-12 attempted to begin her electronic warfare programs, but found there was nothing to hack. She was not being countered, and there was nothing jamming her.

(AK-12) "...Are these actually killer snowmen?!"

Santa hopped behind his sleigh and started rapidly throwing presents from a massive brown sack towards the Commander's pile. All of which were somehow landing perfectly next to RPK-16, in an organized fashion.

(Santa) "Let's see: Suomi, C96, M4A1, MP40-!"

Santa began listing off a dizzying amount of T-Doll's names, as RPK-16 looked at the pile one last time before joining AK-12 and mounting her machine gun towards the newly created half-cover next to the sleigh.

(RPK-16) "Beginning cover fire."

She calmly stated, pulling the trigger and watching as a hail of bullets flew out and hit the snowmen who were being distracted by AK-15's group.

AK-15 held onto the concrete as the snow bullets tore the corners off, AN-94 and Angelia rapidly firing concentrated shots and making the snowmens' heads explode into a white flurry.

AK-15 slammed the wall into the ground, making sure it would not tip over as she rushed the nearest snowman. With one punch she knocked off its head with relative ease, ignoring the ice bullets failing to pierce through her and instead engaging in close combat with the ones closest to her.

The buttons on their faces remained in a permanent frown as they slowly approached the warehouse. Their numbers were beyond counting.

AK-12 closed her eyes, realizing that they were truly magical beings and not something she could hack. Pulling the trigger, her gun began to pick off out of position snowmen that weren't hiding behind trees already.

RPK-16 looked at AK-12 as she reloaded calmly, giving her assurance.

(RPK-16) "I'll cover you, go!"

AK-12 nodded and vaulted over the wall, rushing towards cover as the ever approaching horde continued to pin down AN-94 and Angelia's location. RPK-16 made the snowmen pay with their...lives? As she gunned them down with ease.

Although DEFY was tearing through them with ease, when they killed one, ten more seemed to take their place.

Angelia clenched her teeth as an ice bullet hit her in the shoulder, making her crouch down and reach for the stinging pain.

(AN-94) "Ange has been hit!"

AN-94 immediately knelt down to start applying pressure on the wound, making Angelia cringe in slight pain as she reloaded her rifle with one hand.

(Angelia) "I can't believe that a bunch of goddamn snowmen are giving Sangvis a run for their money in the swarm tactics!"

AK-12's mask hid what emotion she was making, but Angelia could tell there was a wry smirk behind it as she tossed a grenade overhead, dirt and snow flying above them from the explosion.

(AK-12) "At least you made the right call having DEFY be here. I'm not sure even the Commander could defend this warehouse from homicidal snowmen."

(AN-94) "RPK-16, what is Santa's status?"

AN-94 asked before returning fire on the snowmen getting dangerously close to their makeshift barricade.

RPK-16 turned around as she reloaded, her mouth slightly dropping in sheer awe.

Santa had created a beautifully organized pile of presents, all organized by squad. The Commander's pile looked downright insulting just existing next to it.

(Santa) "Ah, I am done here! Now, get your friends back here if you would, I'm about to leave these snowmen a very very nasty lump of coal, if you catch my drift!"

RPK-16 didn't, but she also didn't care.

(RPK-16) "Santa is done, retreat back to the warehouse!"

AN-94 and AK-12 nodded before grabbing Angelia and rushing back at their full speed. AK-15 was right behind them as she roared out in anger, one hand wielding her knife and tearing through them as she tore the stick arms off others approaching them.

Her armor was covered in frost and bullet marks, with bits of artificial blood dropping from her head.

The bits of armor from the rest of DEFY were beginning to chip off as well due to the frost damage, everyone except RPK-16 who was still trying to fend off the never ending horde.

She moved to reload, but her waist was devoid of any remaining magazines.

(RPK-16) "Out of ammo!"

Everyone else checked their magazine count after hiding behind the wall, gaining a small reprieve from the cold.

(AK-12) "One left."

(AK-15) "Out."

(AN-94) "Two left."

(Angelia) "Tch, one."

Any prolonged fighting would have their ammunition run dry. They weren't expecting a fight to break out like this at all, their lack of preparation coming to bite them in the ass.

But who the hell would be ready for an assault by magical snowmen armed with snow guns?!

Santa whistled at the Reindeer as he hopped onto the sleigh, looking at the rest of DEFY with a warm smile.

(Santa) "You have saved my hide, and Christmas for the rest of the world! These darn Snow-Dolls have been pursuing me ever since...-"

Suddenly concentrated fire was aimed at the sleigh, cutting Santa off as he nodded at them.

(Santa) "Bah, hambug! Doesn't matter, Thank you, DEFY! Good night to all, and to all-"

(Angelia) "JUST GET YOUR ASS MOVING ALREADY, I'M BLEEDING HERE!"

Santa jumped back in his seat and immediately yanked the straps back, forcing his reindeer to float up and out of the warehouse, the gunshots all attempting to hit him as he circled around the battlefield.

DEFY watched as Santa doubled back towards the snowmen, dropping several christmas ornaments onto them, before they exploded into a fiery inferno that melted the snow from the sheer heat, making everyone duck behind cover.

Looking back up, the squad saw nothing remained of the snowmen, in fact there was no trace of them at all now.

Other than the concrete wall in the middle of the snow, alongside Ange's blood, bullet casings littering the grass, and explosion marks from grenades, it looked like any regular aftermath of a battlefield.

The squad then looked back at the presents, and saw how beautifully colored they were, each one with a name tag of a T-Doll or human of a Griffin member.

Then finally, the Commander's voice came through Angelia's radio.

(Commander) "Merry Christmas, Ange! You and DEFY have a silent night?"

(AN-94) "...I wish for these Christmas puns to end."

(Angelia) "Shut the hell up. By the way send a medic."

(Commander) "Hah, good one...W-Wait, what?!"

...

Apparently, no one had heard the insanity of DEFY's firefight during the early morning of Christmas Day.

In fact, no one even saw the explosions or the snowmen outside the base windows.

There was a perimeter scan and it was triple checked by the Anti-Rain Team, and Squad 404. There were no signs of hostile activity whatsoever.

After DEFY was sent in for repairs and Angelia's shoulder was patched up, they were ordered to take the day off and enjoy themselves with the rest of Griffin.

But first they headed back towards the dorm to rest up before the presents were to be handed out. Right now it was only eight in the morning.

(AK-15) "I still cannot believe everything we have just witnessed."

(AK-12) "Santa being real is...quite contradictory to everything we've learned. Does that mean other fictional stories are true as well?"

(Angelia) "This is a rabbit hole I don't want to open up right now, ladies."

(RPK-16) "Do you think Alice in Wonderland is true too?"

(AN-94) "I am sure it was just a fabrication, or some advanced technology we are not privy to yet."

(Angelia) "Get some rest until present time. I'll be in my room."

DEFY saluted Angelia as she walked off to her room alone.

When she opened the door, she noticed a plate of cookies and milk on the plate. She reached for her pistol, looking slowly around for who could have entered.

Seeing the note on the table, she frowned as she read it, but quickly faded.

Thanks for all your hard work, as always Ange! Save some for the rest of the girls, okay? - Signed, Commander, Kalina, G36

Angelia smiled, examining the cookie and making sure it wasn't poisoned. However, there were a couple signs on the cookie itself that revealed it was made from Springfield's café. The way the treat looked too perfectly circular, and cooked to almost perfection.

Realizing the threat was nonexistent, Angelia bit into it before pouring the milk out near her sink, and replacing the drink with Vodka.

(Angelia) "...Next Christmas, I'm not doing this shit again."

Suddenly, the radio turned on next to her.

"Last Christmas I gave you my heart But the very next day you gave it away~-"

Angelia immediately smashed the radio with her metal arm, eye twitching.

(Angelia) "And I'm having Kalina turn those goddamn songs off."

=====

a/n: This is totally 100% canon to the lore of Girls' Frontline. Source: trust me bro.

Anyways I have nothing else to add besides a nice picture of DEFY for your enjoyment.