Kindhearted Bravery

Follows back from Spotted Mischief. Selective Multimuse written by Rena.

[handfulofmuses]

Did you forgot? Everything I touch turns to JOY. Light is more powerful than darkness. Hope is more powerful than fear. Love is more powerful than hate. And joy? Joy is way more powerful than misery will ever be!

Multimuse written by Rena. Follows back from Spottedmischief Rules

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[hauntedmd]

💙PROM SD-J💙

I TRIED. I drew her with wine too since she's an alcoholic WHICH I JUST REALIZED THE COLOR SHOULD'VE BEEN GREEN BUT DATS OKAY

[handfulofmuses]

🎶 "If we lost it all today

Tell me honestly would you still love me the same?

If I showed you my flaws

If I couldn’t be strong

Tell me honestly would you still love me the same?“ 🎶

[handfulofmuses]

Wait.

She is actually getting paid??

[muses0fgracie]

@handfulofmuses

It's quiet. Too quiet. And yet... she knows she's not alone, despite the near-deafening silence.

It's probably the heightened senses that helped her figure it out.

However, despite getting an idea of who it is, V surprisingly doesn't attack, turn around, or otherwise seemingly acknowledge the other disassembly drone-- not until J comes slightly closer anyway.

"Hey." is all the she-drone says, taking a moment to sip some oil out of a lightbulb (with a silly straw in it) that's being used as a makeshift glass.

"You've got a lot of bolts to come here, J." V says after swallowing yet another shot of oil from the bulb-- contempt no longer being masked at all as she looks out over the ruined city in the distance. "You here to tell me how mad you are that I hurt your fee-fees by doing the right thing?"

[handfulofmuses]

It is quiet, indeed.

It has been quiet for months now., if you don’t count the sounds of her trying to repair the ship or the frustrated screams whenever a part was missing or something went wrong with it.

Or the way she starts unleashing whenever she is alone with her thoughts.

Her whole life, J was at least surrounded by someone. She always thought at least she was not alone in this mess.

Until they both betrayed her. After everything she did! After taking the brunt of that beast just so they won’t have to!

Is it wrong to think that she would even prefer the company of the absolute solver right now? It’s not like it matters now.

And yet, unlike V, the other drone was too distracted to realize she was not alone.

Usually she wouldn’t wander far from the spire. But she needed to find battery acid. She was out of it.

Maybe if she didn’t waste it all already she could have been away from that stinking planet. Wasted on battery acid and fixing the pod - honestly she looks like garbage, but she hasn’t bothered about her appearance in quite some time. Evident with how messy her hair was, too. And she feels oddly lightheaded at times.

Perhaps she is too out of it, and that’s why she didn’t notice V until the other drone finally spoke up.

Oh, great. Wonderful. Just what she needed. Probably here to make fun of her or something.

For a moment, she doesn’t bother to look in her direction. Quite frankly, she just wants to ignore her altogether. If it’s just about to be a scapegoat for that blasted monster, she has no interest to contuine this conversation further.

Right thing? As if. Honestly, if V wants to keep acting immature about it, then that’s her business.

She doesn’t want to engage. And yet …

Her head finally turns to V, looking at her with great disdain.

“What makes you think I want to waste my time further with the likes of you?“

[handfulofmuses]

Oh now she wants to take over the world as well?

[seraphont]

using a walkie talkie as a karaoke mic… incredible

[handfulofmuses]

@musesofthesun @muses0fgracie

[handfulofmuses]

the way J wraps her tail around herself in that last gif has me ILL, i love it <3

FOR REAL.

She is basically trying to comfort herself she needs a hug

[handfulofmuses]

Anxiety detected. Do not be afraid, J. You are aligned with the correct side. It was the only rational calculation, wouldn't you agree?

[a-space-dragon]

Big analysis of the J video and her behavior in it!!!

-The biggest thing that stands out in this video is unlike the main series, J speaks directly to the audience the entire time.  This makes her an unreliable narrator to a degree.  She’s explaining to the audience what it means to be a team, so she’s probably going to leave out any time she wasn’t treating the others like her team (ex: when she stepped on N’s neck and the multiple times she told him she wanted him dead).

However, whenever she is trying to be a good leader, it seems J is genuinely doing really well at it! The others listen to her happily and without argument.  J even seems proud of them — gifting V the title of ‘employee of the month’.  I imagine J took on a similar role as ‘leader’ in the manor as well.  She kept the basement key, Tessa would go to her for advice; it seems like even before Cyn let her be in charge of the squad, she was the one everyone looked to for answers.

(it gets long so here’s a readmore)

-In every part of the video the DDs are all dragging in some sort of kill and things are pictured to be going well despite the doors preventing them from getting to the rest of the workers.  This is likely another example of J not telling the entire truth.  They’re each only eating one arm a day.  They are starving, but J doesn’t acknowledge that for the video at least.  She also tells Cyn everything is going well despite telling V and N that there’s a major issue (the doors).

J occasionally lies to the audience for the same reason she lies to Cyn and to herself — wanting others, as well as herself, to believe that she has everything under control.  That she’s doing the right thing.  Even when she starts to doubt it.

-When V is shown playing with severed heads, J seems to be concerned and almost unnerved by her behavior.  If J really does remember everything or close to everything, it’s no wonder she’s unnerved by it.  V seemed nearly the opposite of herself in the present than her past manor self.  It’s still her, and J clearly favors V over N, but it must’ve been difficult for J to adjust to V’s new personality.  By the look on her face in that scene she might still be adjusting to seeing her act like that.

-J really really doesn’t want them to fix the ship or consider leaving the planet even as a decoy.  It probably has to do with some of Cyn’s plan she’s only told J.  Maybe the pod leaving the planet will trigger something Cyn’s put in place to prevent them from trying to escape.

Whatever the case, V seems suspicious of J for her outright refusal to do anything remotely related to leaving the planet.  It could be because she’s acting extremely suspicious, but it could also be because she remembers enough to know something’s off.  Unlike N, who just immediately went along with her refusal.

-While an extremely drunk J full of energy and having fun is something I don’t think anyone expected, having to deal with all of the above — keeping up her corporate mask, protecting her secrets, the trio’s potential starvation — of course she needs some sort of outlet for all that stress.  She drinks to relieve herself of those worries, if only for a little bit late into the night while the others are asleep.

J has far less control over the situation than she’s willing to admit, to herself or others.  We see this in the next scene when Cyn calls.  She sobers instantly when the phone rings and lies her ass off to Cyn about how well they’re doing on Copper 9.  I don’t think Cyn believed her for a second because she picked up on the anxiety in J’s voice.  Maybe that’s the real reason she decided to come to Copper 9, because the DDs were failing at their job and J was poorly trying to cover it up.

-Cyn reiterating that J chose the right side and did the right thing is likely how she’s kept her under her thumb for so long.  She’s convinced her that every awful thing she’s done is for a good reason.  Whether that reason is to protect the others and herself, or just because the alternative is so much worse.  

It’s very painfully clear J is scared of things spiraling out of control, of Cyn finding out about how poor of a job they’re doing, of the others seeing Cyn and knowing J lied about who they’re all really working for, of being punished both for things that aren’t her fault and for things that entirely are.

That fear is what will keep her on Cyn’s side.  Perhaps there’s more, Cyn could've lied to her and promised her anything — especially between when she dies in episode 1 and when she leaves Cyn in episode 6, but now we know for certain she chose Cyn’s side at least partially out of fear.  I believe there’s also a mix of wanting to protect the others, as well as desperation for autonomy and control in there as well.  That final reason being why she likes to view herself (and have others view her) as the boss and the deciding voice of the team.

-Towards the end, V gives J the branded pen she’s been hoping for.  It’s a very sweet moment; despite V being suspicious of her behavior, she’s also genuinely worried for J and is trying to cheer her up.  I swear she even gives her the same softer look she gives Lizzy later on in episode 4.

However, J doesn’t seem at all thrilled about it like she had been before.  Look at the difference in these shots:

J thinking about receiving a branded pen is shot from the ceiling downward with brilliant white light shining down on her from above, and J looking rather pleased with herself.

J actually receiving a branded pen is shot from the ground upward (opposite of before because she’s looking downwards instead of upwards into the light).  The lighting itself, despite having clear rays of white moonlight in the background, is blue and dark and sad.  J looks like she doesn’t even want it.  The parallels between these two shots are so very good!  There’s a lot of good shots in this video actually.

I think this near-opposite change in tone is because, to J, earning the pen meant she did something good and worthwhile — a big accomplishment like getting past the doors.  It’s a symbol of achieving something great.  Being handed the pen so casually is like being handed a first place trophy despite doing nothing to compete for it.  Having it to symbolize your victory means nothing when you didn’t actually win.

And J certainly doesn’t feel like she’s winning right then.  The opposite, actually.  Nothing changed, she just.. has a pen now.  In the pilot J chucks the pen at N like she doesn’t even want it because he broke into the bunker, not her.  That’s his trophy for winning.

-“Every team will face a moment when they have to choose which path will carry them forward.  That choice is.. never easy.  But what matters is that they remain united.  And as a leader, it falls on you to make sure that happens.”

^J almost directly telling us the decision to side with Cyn fell to her, and she chose it to keep everyone together and safe. If I’m right and she was the ‘leader’ even in the manor, then the decision always would’ve fallen to her, because like it or not everyone listens to J.  At least, until V and N switch sides without her in the finale.

In J’s eyes, when V and N take up arms against Cyn, her two younger siblings are so eager to win they aren’t considering what will happen if they lose.  Of course J wants freedom from Cyn just as badly as they do.  Look at how terrified she is of her!  But someone has to stay behind and be the responsible one.  Someone has to be the adult and plan for what will happen if something goes wrong, and it’s so likely something will go wrong.  She might be fighting against them then, but they’ll thank her later when Cyn spares them on her behalf because at least she behaved.  We all know J stayed on Cyn’s side because she thought escape was impossible, but I think in her eyes she was doing the reasonable responsible thing while the others chased some impossible fantasy of freedom.

-Her last remark about the team being family and families don’t lie to eachother makes me think she might’ve caved and told the others what she knew if things kept going the way they were — stuck at a standstill with no way past the doors, waiting like sitting ducks for Cyn to come for them.  

Once N got past the doors, J doubled down on her corporate manager facade and killed him the moment he thought about rebelling.  Which also makes me think J was desperately trying to right things and make it look like she had everything in order the whole time before Cyn’s arrival to avoid punishment or whatever she was so afraid of when Cyn told her she was coming in person.

A lot of what we see from J in the show is unfortunately some of her worst moments.  She’s worried about Cyn’s arrival and too focused on fixing things to her and the others’ benefits to really think her actions through in ep 1. From then on Cyn is right there over her shoulder to convince her to do the ‘right’ thing and make the ‘right’ choice.  We see much more of the side of her she leaves out of her little presentation. The one where she’s openly aggressive to the others and very stressed — overcompensating by being the most businesslike she can, forcing the others into submission, and heavily relying on that mask she made.

Now we’ve finally been shown the unmasked side of J when she isn’t under intense stress and allows herself to relax a bit! Even if it is through some unhealthy coping mechanisms, but you didn’t expect her to have healthy coping mechanisms, did you?

[a-space-dragon]

^Very true I’m adding these tags as well She’s rebelled against Cyn only once before and then watched Tessa die in front of her and the rest of her family (including herself) get turned into monsters.

J has likely tried to get away several times (hence ‘there’s no escape even in death’ and V telling her ‘we were supposed to get away’) but after so many times being brought right back cloned (‘effective drones are cloned more’) and knowing what happens if you anger Cyn, I can certainly see why she would be unwilling to go against her in the future.

[hailsfromthevoid]

That short has me unwell for a multitude of reasons but the immediate, sobering t e r r o r J showed the moment Cyn so much as rang the phone. What business did Cyn have that she just had to see her in person, besides to inflict more fear? How often were these meetings? The traumatized depression J went through afterwards just at the mere thought of it?? WHAT DID CYN DO TO HERRR

And the fact that she just took the brunt of it all, never saying a word to N and V or else they suffer the consequences of having Cyn's attention as well... oughh... J!!!!!!

[handfulofmuses]

It starts with them doing everything together, J even trying to come up with plots together but the moment the boss monster called her on the phone, she is distancing herself from everything. N and V are killing a robot on their own while she just sits there, they are building the spire while she just stares at the corpse and she is not even eating anymore.

It took an extra invitation from V to finally snap J out of her thoughts and that's where she made the decision for them to stay united. She is not alone in this, and as their leader, it is her job to make sure they will stay together.

[handfulofmuses]

J kept so many secrets from N and V, and her story hits hard once you keep looking more into it. Because I never really agreed with the notion that she is a coward.

J was the one who fought a solver infected V (and that while she was still maid too!) and she was the one who tried to take on the solver with Tessa. At the time, V was already infected and N was supposed to be discarded of. She was, with the expection of Tessa, on her own when everything went south. She tried to protect the mansion only to get controlled and who knows what went on after the virus set her free.

J was confident in trying to take it down. She went from that to “there is no escape“. It was likely toying around with its little favorite toy to break her spirit and turn her obedient. J knows firsthand from experience what that thing is capable of.

However.

N and V mentally imploded after everything. It was J who stayed levelheaded and was forced to make a decision. Neither N or V appeared capable in that moment, so she took matters into her own hands to protect what was left of her family.

She gets betrayed and last thing she knows is that V is suddenly attacking her too. She still offers V a place, only to get rejected.

Aside from the first episode, J never had the luxury for an offer. Nobody even tried to convince her otherwise after the pilot and instead she was used as a punching bag. She literally didn’t have a choice in the matter because the virus still can control her too

Imagine how hard that must hit. Not only the betrayal, but now they suddenly decide to fight back towards the virus?

From her perspective it’s like: Where was that courage after the mansion incident? Where was that when she needed it? Where was all that when she was forced to make that decision in the first place?

[bunobunart]

I’ll arrive soon J…

[handfulofmuses]

…..

What is it with her and ending up with working for someone who is eager to destroy planets.

[handfulofmuses]

^ HATES cleaning btw.

[handfulofmuses]

🎶 “What is love?

Oh, baby, don't hurt me

Don't hurt me, no more

Oh, baby, don't hurt me

Don't hurt me, no more” 🎶