deus nobiscum

independent fandomless semi-selective angelic oc written by kai (27, central european)

[handgiven]

and the universe said you are not separate from every other thing. and the universe said you are the universe tasting itself, talking to itself, reading its own code. and the universe said I love you because you are love.

the angel emmanuel (he/they). independent fandomless original character, based on a mix of religions, personal lore & also the autistic experience of the world. lowercase, low formatting, low activity. high amounts of love!

unaffiliated with any fandom in particular, open to various crossovers, with my focus being in the realm of historical/urban fantasy. willing to write profound relationships as well as a single heart-to-heart conversation before your muse never sees my angel again. reccuring themes include humanity of the inhuman, loneliness of the eternal, a little girl's capability for divine creation, the dual nature of divine horror and grace.

daydreamt by kai (nb, 21+, central europe), est. 2013, remade 2024. find me on my other rp blogs — @hellpending & @lifestilled

. carrd . prompts . open . interest tracker . interaction guide. rules below .

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hi, these are my rules.

i. be kind. we're all just here to have fun and be creative together, that's great! let's not dampen that with drama and reckless hate. ii. feel free to respond to my open starters, send in prompts, even write me a dm if we are mutuals .) i'd love to get to know you. iii. i don't have any triggers personally and i try to tag the common ones. in case you want something tagged, please let me know. iv. emmanuel is an original character with original angel lore. if you want to meet him in another universe where different rules apply, i am more than happy to accomodate that. i don't want him to stick out too much. v. that being said, if you write in a specific fandom that i have a verse for, i will default to that said fandom. if you'd like to write something else, let me know .) v. english isn't my first language & i'm central european, so i'll likely be here mostly when all the americans are asleep. this isn't so much a rule and more of a general psa.

[handgiven]

he's making some elderberry syrup and you are all free to come and have some!

[handgiven]

he's making some elderberry syrup and you are all free to come and have some!

[handgiven]

reporting in from my personal life to let you know that i am keeping Emmanuel's whimsy alive despite not writing him actively rn. there's a lovely lil border collie dog that lives in our house and she has a very cat-like nature. some days she'll come to you begging for pets, other days she will pretend not to know u lest u get the wrong idea (that she wants your attention). and every time i go to pet her i talk to her softly and every time i leave her i wish her a good day. it means so much to me that she might have a good day. running in the sun, resting in the shade, getting pets from people passing by....

[stabheavy]

@stabheavy ;; kesabel. a fallen angel with an affinity to no one but his own set of blades. former leader of the watchers, responsible for introducing humans to astronomy and magic, as well as for the origin of the nephilim. dead dove, do not eat. judged by kai.

[handgiven]

hi what's up i'm sad and i miss emmanuel very much

[handgiven]

crashing out from work but i only have two shifts left this month..... there's hope yet!!

[handgiven]

thinking abt...... the potential of threads wherein emmanuel forgets what he is. because it gets quite limiting writing this complete perfect being who's at peace with and knows everything, to a degree. but having him be precisely in that position he views as so vulnerable in others... the frail human mind struggling to comprehend the ways in which it is surpassed by inhuman abilities... the pain and loneliness of it........ i still have to figure out the why to be satisfied but. almost human em. but not quite. mhm.

[handgiven]

like... get this... i've always considered emmanuel a religious horror. his whole story was about burying the parts of him that are terrifying and dangerous, but burying them alive because they are still the parts of him that run the machine that is his clay body, that allow for the realisation of his gentleness, in spite of not being gentle themselves. but this entire time, he's known all this, and was able to control it because of it.

now consider: he doesn't. know all this, i mean. he has no words for the fire that burns him up from the inside, no words for the sights and sounds he sees and hears even if he shouldn't be able to, even if they are not real in his immediate surroundings. he has no comfort from that searing pain, no justification for the constant suffering, but. hear this, he still prevails. he is still emmanuel. his response to the bad is always radical kindness, and sympathy for the whole wide world. but he doesn't have the context for any of it. doesn't have the framing. he's stumbling blindly through it all as much as any ol' lost soul he's comforted in his life.

[handgiven]

what if.......... what if it wasn't even brought on by anyone on the outside.... what if it was just..... the earth running its course. he's been burning this body up from the inside for millenia... the ground of it is caving in. making him confused and unsure of the future at times... but... he doesn't want to leave the body. he stays and stays and stays... until he forgets who he is. hm.

[handgiven]

current updated blogroll—with annotations @handgiven — emmanuel. THE comfort character. the wandering philosopher of an angel. the casual poet the adorer of all things living the lover of all but predominantly also all that is monstrous and unloved (someone's gotta do it). finding the divine in the mundane. the gardener. @lifestilled — basil hallward. the only canon character in my roster, lifted out of oscar wilde's the picture of dorian gray. the tragic gay painter of all time. featuring a canon-divergent verse wherein basil himself gains immortality and is able to live to modern-day, pouring his heart and soul into all the new iterations of art in the process. @hellpending — gwynn. the one girl in the roster and she's got a guy's name. go figure. soulless ginger witch. rabid racoon of a woman. immortal on a technicality, unreliable narrator of her own life's story & a dealer of magical amulets that may or may not be a scam. @stabheavy — kesabel. the angel who fell but never took on a rank in hell, never fully became a demon. he lives in hell, yes, he stirs up chaos, yes, but not in the name of evil, but in the name of ~having fun and being himself~. enjoys swords and sex (they are both ways of inserting oneself into another——) tragic backstory that will not be addressed of his own free will

[handgiven]

thinking abt...... the potential of threads wherein emmanuel forgets what he is. because it gets quite limiting writing this complete perfect being who's at peace with and knows everything, to a degree. but having him be precisely in that position he views as so vulnerable in others... the frail human mind struggling to comprehend the ways in which it is surpassed by inhuman abilities... the pain and loneliness of it........ i still have to figure out the why to be satisfied but. almost human em. but not quite. mhm.

[handgiven]

like... get this... i've always considered emmanuel a religious horror. his whole story was about burying the parts of him that are terrifying and dangerous, but burying them alive because they are still the parts of him that run the machine that is his clay body, that allow for the realisation of his gentleness, in spite of not being gentle themselves. but this entire time, he's known all this, and was able to control it because of it.

now consider: he doesn't. know all this, i mean. he has no words for the fire that burns him up from the inside, no words for the sights and sounds he sees and hears even if he shouldn't be able to, even if they are not real in his immediate surroundings. he has no comfort from that searing pain, no justification for the constant suffering, but. hear this, he still prevails. he is still emmanuel. his response to the bad is always radical kindness, and sympathy for the whole wide world. but he doesn't have the context for any of it. doesn't have the framing. he's stumbling blindly through it all as much as any ol' lost soul he's comforted in his life.

[handgiven]

what if.......... what if it wasn't even brought on by anyone on the outside.... what if it was just..... the earth running its course. he's been burning this body up from the inside for millenia... the ground of it is caving in. making him confused and unsure of the future at times... but... he doesn't want to leave the body. he stays and stays and stays... until he forgets who he is. hm.

[handgiven]

thinking abt...... the potential of threads wherein emmanuel forgets what he is. because it gets quite limiting writing this complete perfect being who's at peace with and knows everything, to a degree. but having him be precisely in that position he views as so vulnerable in others... the frail human mind struggling to comprehend the ways in which it is surpassed by inhuman abilities... the pain and loneliness of it........ i still have to figure out the why to be satisfied but. almost human em. but not quite. mhm.

[handgiven]

like... get this... i've always considered emmanuel a religious horror. his whole story was about burying the parts of him that are terrifying and dangerous, but burying them alive because they are still the parts of him that run the machine that is his clay body, that allow for the realisation of his gentleness, in spite of not being gentle themselves. but this entire time, he's known all this, and was able to control it because of it.

now consider: he doesn't. know all this, i mean. he has no words for the fire that burns him up from the inside, no words for the sights and sounds he sees and hears even if he shouldn't be able to, even if they are not real in his immediate surroundings. he has no comfort from that searing pain, no justification for the constant suffering, but. hear this, he still prevails. he is still emmanuel. his response to the bad is always radical kindness, and sympathy for the whole wide world. but he doesn't have the context for any of it. doesn't have the framing. he's stumbling blindly through it all as much as any ol' lost soul he's comforted in his life.

[handgiven]

thinking abt...... the potential of threads wherein emmanuel forgets what he is. because it gets quite limiting writing this complete perfect being who's at peace with and knows everything, to a degree. but having him be precisely in that position he views as so vulnerable in others... the frail human mind struggling to comprehend the ways in which it is surpassed by inhuman abilities... the pain and loneliness of it........ i still have to figure out the why to be satisfied but. almost human em. but not quite. mhm.

[oc-loving]

share a physical feature of your oc's that you like a lot!

[handgiven]

saw a blindworm today, crossing the pedestrian road. couldn't figure out how to help him along without freaking him out. just ended up staying nearby until he crossed the road by himself, just to make sure no one would step on him or ride their bike over him on accident. em would approve.

[stabheavy]

thinking abt the juxtaposition of kesabel being more in touch with his emotions than emmanuel but emmanuel being seen as the more empathetic, sensitive type, precisely because he pushes his own feelings aside so much so he can put others' feelings before his own. whereas kesabel is seen as insensitive and mean but... the thing is he's just feeling too mamy things, all the time, and over the past few eons he hasn't found a better way to cope than Physical Activity (bed, blade or both)

[handgiven]

was tired and angry after today's shift of being Understaffed but then i walked through a forest-park under some trees and looked up to follow my route by the negative space between the branches and now everything is okay actually

[handgiven]

currently chewing through concrete about from