canibalism isn't inherently sexual
Full respect to canibalism kink people, but I kinda wish that their posts weren't THE ONLY posts on the canibalism tag? Like, it's cool that you want yo eat your romanticand or sexual partner so you can be closer/they can become part of you.
But i want to kill people because people are really, really fun to kill. Because when I even think about it, I have to stim so hard I get out of breath to get that joy and desire out of my system. When i thinnk about it too much i can't help but cry. Because I will NEVER be able to kill a human, see their pain and fear fade into bittersweet acceptance, without either looking over my shoulder the rest of my life or joining an organisation that makes the world a worse place!
And I want to eat people because people are MEAT (forgive the caps). Because somethimes I can't look at people without thinking how I'd butcher and cook them. Because even when my stomach is full, I am still hungry; and I know, deep down in some thrashing and ravenous part of my being that there is only ONE THING THAT WILL MAKE THIS PAIN FADE> ONLY OJNE MEAT THAT WILL LEAVE ME SATED< EVEN JUST FOR A SECOND. i just want to feel sated, even if only for a moment. i just want to feel ok and happy and with people like me.
because there is no one like me. when i am surroundded by friends, and we spend the night laughing i still feel alone. Don't get me wrong, i love my friends. i feel better while and after talking to them, but they're not like me. the ones i trust most i talk to about this, how i feel and they listen, they try to understand or at the very least be understanding but they don't . they can't. not really. and maybe, just maybe if i could talk over the internet i couldd find someone that undertands. thats like me.
when i speak, even in my mothertongue, words aren't in the shapes of my thoughts.
i want to know why.
am i alone? am i the only thing like me?
why do these thoughtless meatpuppets everywhere look like me? why do i have to act like them to survive? i feel so alone why does it hurt to live why am i hungry why am i alone WHY ARENT YOU LIKE ME I DONT WANT TO BE SCARED ANYMORE
i just dont want to be hungry anymore
fuck, this post had a point but i guess it turned into a vent post. Whatever. Just because i have ulterior motive doesn't make my points any less valid. Hell, it's not ulterior motive, it's vested interest.
...now that's revealing
This post was made a couple years ago, so maybe you're a different person now, but the line "why do these thoughtless meatpuppets everywhere look like me?" is revealing to me. Your ideology seems to me to be predicated at least in part on the assertion that some / all people are beneath you / bereft of some component of full conciousness that you are in possession of, and as such their 'sentimental' value is not important, and only their physical / labour / ideological (see your manifesto - law cannot be based on morality as you say, which i do partly agree with) value is real. I don't know whether you mean that in a solipsism way or a more selective way, eg. some humans are people and some are not. Either way, you are (were?) a very interesting person.
Also the murder stuff... That's uh, hm. Ain't no ethical way to do that I'm afraid. Consentual suicide is already something but if they are experiencing "pain and fear" as you say, well that's just plain violence.
I will probably look at your blog again at some point. You get it, or maybe you don't. :P
No one, including me, is a “person”. Consciousness doesn’t exist full stop. I’m not “better” than anyone, I just want to hurt, kill and eat people. Ethics is not written into the fabric of the universe it is a game theory and kin selection based method of maintaining social cohesion within an ingroup and establishing and reinforcing the position of an outgroup
I get some of what you're saying, I too am a moral relativist, although I suppose you seem more like a moral nihilist -What exactly does "Why do these thoughtless meatpuppets everywhere look like me?" mean then? Why wouldn't they, given you are fundamentally not different to them?