“I’m telling you, homie, if we find a big enough board, we could totally do it!” Four said.
“You’re crazy, bro,” Two said. “No way all five of us are fitting on one surfboard!”
“Were you not listening broseph? We just gotta find one big enough! If we all work together we could ride it. It’ll be the ultimate test of teamwork!”
Four and Two had been arguing about this for hours. One, Three and Five had been listening in with interjecting arguments about whether a Fivesome Board even existed. But they were all interrupted when they heard footsteps in the bedroom outside.
“You dawgs, house homie is home!” Five whispered excitedly.
The closet door opened, letting white light beam into the small space. The owner stood there, in her messy pajamas, glasses on her face and holding the hamper at her side.
“Sup, homie!” the Hanks all said together.
The owner set the hamper down on the floor by the closet door. The Hanks all waved and spoke in unison.
“Hi, Harper!” they said.
Harper wasn’t in human mode, but she could still hear them, she would have rolled her eyes if she had them at her disposal. The owner gave the five of them a grin.
“How you guys doing in here?” she asked. “Too dark in here?”
“Nothing’s ever ‘too’ of anything for us,” One said.
“Just makes the challenge all the more challenging,” Four said.
“What about you, gorgeous?” Three asked, eyeing the hamper. “Got something good for us?”
“Just a small batch this time,” the owner said.
She reached down into the hamper and pulled out something pink and lacy. The Hanks’ eyes all collectively widened as she pulled out a set of black lingerie.
“Oh…even better than I could have imagined,” Three said with a sultry grin.
The owner ignored him and reached for Four, hanging the set on him. She then pulled out another set, this one deep red, and moved that one onto One. Four and One both went hot in the face, while the other three gazed at them with jealousy.
“Where’d you get those?” Five asked the owner.
The owner shrugged.
“I’ve had them for a bit,” she said. “I don’t normally put them in the closet. I usually just keep them in my underwear drawer.”
“So why bring them in here?” Three asked. “A little gift for us?”
The owner snorted and rolled her eyes. It dawned on the Hanks that the owner’s mood, while still friendly, seemed a bit dimmed.
“No,” she said. “I just…don’t think I’m going to use them enough to keep them close at hand. Plus…I just don’t want to look at them anymore.”
“Why not?” One asked.
“These are, like, beautiful,” Two said, examining the red piece that hung from One. “Even without a body in one of them.”
“I bet they look even better on a body,” Three said, wiggling his eyebrow. “Yours specifically.”
The owner looked at the floor and pursed her lips.
“What’s wrong, homie?” One asked. “You seem downer than the dumps. What about underwear has you so low, bro?”
The Hanks all leaned in a little to listen. The owner sucked in a deep breath through her nose and let it out. Fuck it, if you couldn’t hash out to your houshold appliances, who could you?
“Every time I get with a guy, and I think it’s going good…I buy a lingerie set,” the owner said. “I dunno…something about buying something so intimate for someone…it’s like putting on a seal before a relationship becomes real.” She bit her lower lip. “But before I can show him, he dumps me.”
“Oh, homie…” the boys said.
“The last guy dumped me last night,” she said. “Over text. Didn’t even come over long enough for me to show him.”
“That’s totally lame,” Four said.
“What a grade-a douchebag,” One said.
“That’s why I’m moving the sets in here,” the owner said. “I need to stop wasting money on guys who can’t even break up with me to my face.”
Her voice broke a little bit. Her body and face tightened like she was trying not to cry.
“Don’t cry, house homie!” One said.
“I’m not,” the owner lied. She cleared her throat. “It doesn’t matter. I’m the idiot crying over guys who
“That guy sounds like a pile of crud,” Three said. For the first time, his flirtatious affect dropped and he actually seemed sincere. “You tried to do something cool for a guy. Meanwhile, he dropped you like you aren’t the coolest person he’s met.”
“If I’m so cool, why do I keep fumbling every guy I meet?” the owner said. “It’s like I’m just a distraction to them. I’ve never met a guy who liked me enough to actually stick around.”
“Automatic no, homie,” Five said. “Couldn’t be less true.”
“You’ve met a guy who likes you enough to stick around,” One said. “Five to be exact.”
The boys all chirp in unison.
“The Hanks think you’re the raddest!"
The owner chuckled and shook her head.
“You’re all sweet,” she said. “But you never leave me because…well…” She gestured to the coat hangers. “You can’t.”
“Just because we can’t doesn’t mean we would,” Two said.
“We love hanging out with you in your big cool house,” Four said.
“You helped us get away from Red Bowl,” One said. “You taught us to care about ourselves, figure out what we like outside of sports, not to mention we’ve seen your wardrobe, and you’ve got a bangin’ sense of style…you’re the best bro we’ve ever had.”
“Besides,” Three said, his flirtatious grin returning. “None of us would ever take anything you wore for us for granted.”
“If someone did that for me, I’d worship them like a goddess,” Five said in a dreamy voice.
At those words, an idea suddenly crept into the owner’s head. She flicked her eyes across the five of them. The Hanks were certainly one of the more unique companions she had around the house. Not just because they came in a set of five, but because of the contradictory things they made her feel. They had the personalities of golden retriever puppies. Happy, bouncy, easily excitable and eager to please. At the same time, they wore tight jumpsuits that accentuated their impressive bodies. And after a string of shitty lovers, the owner was craving a few more than would be a bit more…appreciative.
“All of you wait in here,” the owner said. “Don’t go ahead.
“Homie,” One said. “We can’t go anywh—”
The closet door shut behind her.
“Bossy,” Three said with a glint in his eyes. “I love it.”
“What’d you think she’s doing, bruh?” Four said.
The boys were all quiet as they listened intently. They heard clothes rustling, drawers opening. It took them all a moment, but they slowly realized what exactly the owner was planning.
“Bro, I think we’re gonna have a threesome,” Three whispered.
“Bro, there’s six of us,” One said. “It’s gonna be a sixsome.”
“Broooo, I didn’t think that was possible.”
“What are…like…the logistics of that, bro,” Five said. “Like…there’s only so many holes…”
“I don’t care what she does with us,” Three said. “She can use me all night long.”
“Bro, you’re being so cringe again,” Two said. “She’s not gonna want to be around any of us if you keep—”
The boys were interrupted when the closet door opened wide again. Eyes went wide and jaws went slack. The owner stood before them in another lingerie set. This one was black lacy, complete with garters and stockings, and silky robe over top.
“Bruh…” the Hanks all said.
“This is the newest one,” the owner said. “The one the last guy didn’t like.”
“Was that nerd blind or something?” Four said.
“Nerds can’t be blind, bro, they have glasses,” Two said.
“I haven’t worn it yet,” the owner said. She crooked her finger at them. “All of you. In the bedroom. Now.”
The Hanks all looked at each other, then quickly pushed past each other scurrying out of the closet. The player led the harem of boys up to the bedroom and shut the closet door behind all of them. She took a seat on the edge of the bed, one leg crossed elegantly over the other, and looked across all of the boys.
“So, who will it be first?” Three asked with a wink in his eyes. “Just know, numerical order, totally overrated.”
The owner gave Three a look. She supposed it would be mean to make him wait, as he’d been barking like a dog since they met. She crooked a finger to beckon him closer.
“Come here,” she said, like she was commanding a little puppy.
Three grinned.. But he only took one step closer to the bed before the owner lifted a hand to stop him.
“No,” she said. “Not like that.”
She curled her thumbs into the side seams of her underwear, then pulled down her thighs. The boys’ mouths collectively watered as she tossed the black lace on the floor.
“Crawl,” she said.
The owner wondered for a moment if Three would refuse. Too cocky to debate himself like that. But Three proved to be hungrier than even he seemed, because he dropped to his knees and crawled across the floor to her. She rubbed the top of his head.
“Forget lingerie,” she said. “I should hang a dog collar on you.”
Three giggled.
“Whatever the lady wants,” he said.
The owner spread her thighs open, and Three didn’t resist. He slipped his tongue between the slit between her legs. The owner closed her eyes and tipped her head back, sliding her fingers down into his red hair. His curls wrapped so naturally around his fingers, like they were made to be pulled.
She tightened her grip in his hair and she jerked her hips into his head. His tongue was long, velvety, and desperately hungry. His hands held the side of her thighs to keep her close, moaning deep in his throat at her divine taste.
Three could feel his mind turn to soup to his head. The other guys in the room only seemed to faintly exist. Nothing existed anymore except for her. The soft plush of her flesh, the sweet taste of her pleasure, the intoxicating smell of her. He could have stayed on his knees for hours.
But his owner wouldn’t let him. She gripped his hair with both hands, her long nails digging exhilarating pain into his head. She bucked her hips as she skull-fucked him towards a melting climax. She wasn’t alone. Three felt a throb between his legs. He clutched her thighs to keep himself from stroking himself. But the sounds of his owner’s voice and her gush in his mouth was sending him somewhere he couldn’t stop.
“Right there…right there…yes, keep going..”
It was a hot flush up her body. The owner braced herself as warm bliss spread over her body until all she could do was keep riding Three’s tongue. Even once her hips slowed to a stop, Three kept going. He licked and curled his tongue over her clit for no other reason than to taste her a little more.
Finally, the owner gently pushed Three’s head back. His mouth was shiny with her pleasure and his eyes were foggy. It was kind of cute. She wiped a finger along his bottom lip.
“You’re a messy eater,” she teased.
Three chuckled and gave her an impish look.
“You give me plenty to eat,” he said.
Then, her eyes dropped to the floor. On the rug between Three’s thighs was a puddle of seed. Without even touching himself, he finished himself. The taste of her alone had finished him. Clearly, he’d been saving all this for her.
It took a second, but the owner managed to shoo Three away from the bed. Next, her eyes scanned over to Five. He was one of the more bashful of the group next to Two.. His eyes were on the floor until she looked at him, then his face went hot. The owner gave a bemused chuckle.
“Don’t be scared,” she said, motioning him over. “Come here, handsome.”
Five hesitated at first. Not because he didn’t want her, but because he didn’t realize he’d get such one-on-one attention from the owner. But he did as she said and approached the bed. As soon as he was at arm's length, the owner grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him roughly down onto the bed.
Five made a startled sound, and before he could react, she was straddling on top of him. God, she was so pretty. He could have stared at her for hours. But then, he felt her hand spider-crawl down his body and pull down his boxers.
The owner wrapped her fingers around his bulge and Five sucked in a breath like he’d been punched in the gut. Every nerve in his body directed at her hand. She didn’t move it, just held his length in her hand like a threat.
“Hiding all of this under a jumpsuit,” she said. “What a waste.”
Her thumb circled around his tip and Five bit hard down on his bottom lips. His teary-eyes squeezed shut and his hands gripped the duvet.
“Fuck,” he whimpered. “Please bro, I…. fuck .”
The owner grinned.
“You’re so cute when you squirm,” she said.
“Home girl please…it hurts really bad…I can’t…”
Five was visibly sweating and his owner’s nimble fingers were like torture instruments. His tip was dribbling ferociously, leaving a ugly stain on his boxers. The owner curled her fingers into his waistband and pulled down until Five felt a shivering breeze on his cock. He instinctively reached down to touch it, but the owner snatched his hand away and pinned it on the headboard behind him. She looked at him with hungry eyes.
“Ready for me?” she asked.
Five swallowed.
“Please, do whatever you want,” Five begged. His knuckles turned white gripping the sheets while he desperately tried not to touch his cock. “Just please…please fuck me already…”
His owner smiled, and slowly lowered herself down on him.
Tight wet walls clasped around his length and Five’s breath hitched. His hands immediately grabbed his owner’s hips to keep her steady on top of him. She smirked and licked her canine teeth as she started swerving her hips. Each one sent a sharp wave of pleasure up Five’s shaking body.
“Fuck,” Five croaked.
“”Does that feel good?” his owner said between panting breaths.
Five couldn’t properly respond as his owner’s pussy turned his brain to soup. He lay helpless beneath her as she fucked him deeper into the mattress. The bedframe creaked beneath them the headboard thumped against the wall.
“Yes…” he whimpered.
The owner took one of his hands from his hips and smoothed it up her stomach to her breast. Five’s breath hitched as she moved his hands where she wanted them. He shivered as his hot hand met her stony flesh. He wanted to pull her hand on top of him, warm every inch of her against him.
Instead, he tipped his head back and arched his back in a moan as she ravished his body. After what felt to him like forever and not long enough, Five felt it rising up in him and his hips twitched beneath hers. But then, his owner clapped a hand over his mouth and leaned close to his eyes.
“No,” she breathed. “Me first.”
Five’s eyes welled with tears but he gritted his teeth. He held his breath and pushed himself up deeper inside of her. The owner arched her back and her eyes fluttered shut as she rode him through a shuddering climax.
“That’s right,” she breathed. “Good boy…just like that…”
Once she was finished, the owner sunk her nails into Five’s shoulders and fucked him with a vengeance. Five’s moans turned to cries and the bed was loud enough that the rest of the house could hear them, but neither of them cared. The owner’s hands smooth up Five’s’s chest and grip his throat.
“Come for me,” she hissed. Her face hovered over his and one hand threaded through his hair. “ Now .”
Five’s back arched and he clasped her lower back. He squeezed his eyes shut, but his owner grabbed his face and forced him to look her in the eye while he came. Her sharp nails in his cheeks, her lace-clad body on top of him, it was enough to make him…
Then, at that moment, as Five was rushing over the edge and every drop of blood was in his face and neck, he felt her teeth on his neck. It was a sharp pain that made him squeak, but he didn’t fight it. Because a melting orgasm was taking over him and his hips were bucking to meet hers and nothing else existed except—
“Fuck me,” he gasped.
Her hips kept mercilessly fucking him even after every drop of him was gone. When she started to slow, he felt her teeth leave his neck and her tongue licked at the tender flesh she suckled. Five felt weak all over. Like she pulled his soul right out of his body.
The owner collapsed onto the bed and Five excused himself off the mattress. All that fucking sitting up made her tired now. She needed something with a little less effort on her part. Her eyes wandered over to One, who was clasping his hands to his thighs trying not to touch himself. She cocked her head.
“Your turn,” she said.
One gave her a “What? Who? Me?” look, but then approached the bed. For the leader of the group, he now seemed nearly as shy as Two. The owner rolled onto her back and pulled him down into a kiss. It took all of One’s willpower not to surrender and collapse on top of her, pull her into his arms and kiss her until he was sick.
“What do you want me to do?” One said breathlessly. He hovered over her on the bed, his breath hot on her skin.
Oh, nothing got the owner like a man asking for permission. She smirked and reached down to One’s waist and began tugging at his boxers.
“I want you just like this,” she said. “I want to see what your face looks like when we do it.”
One’s heart hitched in his did.. He did as she requested, pulling down the rest of his underwear to free his thick girth. Then, he hooked his thumbs into the seams of the owner’s underwear and peeled it down her legs.
The owner watched One’s face rise above her own. She reached up and cupped his handsome cheek.
“If you like my laundry,” she whispered. She pressed her bra against his chest. “Then fuck it.”
One didn’t need any more instruction. He gently cupped under the owner’s thighs to spread them open, then readied himself at her entrance. Slowly, carefully, he slid himself inside her. The owner arched her back as he filled her up.
“Fuck…” One shivered. She was dripping wet and hot as iron, it took all his willpower not to start jerking his hips. “Does…does that feel okay, bro?”
The owner bit her lip and nodded, and One slowly began swerving his hips. Slow bursts of pleasure returned to the owner again, but now wider and more potent.
“Fuck, you feel so good,” One moaned.
It was like his body was made specifically for hers. Maybe it was fate since birth, maybe it was some change in him after the imprinting. Regardless, One’s mind evaporated as he pushed inside of her. Not a single thought passed through him except pleasuring the girl who kissed his neck.
The owner tightened her legs around One’s torso and tugged at his collar. Fucking him wasn’t enough, she wanted to melt into him. She clasped a hand on One’s lower back.
“More,” she said. She licked her lips and bit them. “More.”
One’s body reacted to her words. He quickened his pace, pounding his hips until the bed creaked underneath them. The owner’s back arched, pushing herself up to meet One’s body. Her hands gripped greedily at his muscular back.
She was getting close. One could feel it in the way she gripped around him, the way her fluids gushed over his tips, the way her hitching breaths turned to moans. Every instinct in his body wanted to push her over the edge, give her exactly what she wanted.
And as she came closer and closer, he followed right behind.
“I’m yours,” One groaned as he quickened his pace. His heartbeat was a drum in his ears and there was desperation in his movements. “I’m yours, I’m yours, I’m yours, I’m yours, I’m yours, I’m yours…”
The owner clenched tight around him as they came both with the force of a lightning strike. Her nails dug lines down One’s back as she finished on his cock. One was right behind her. He could have melted on top of her from the sheer pleasure of it.
One kept moving even as the owner cooled down. He would have happily spent the next few hours making her come again and again. But the owner gave his shoulder a squeeze and he slowed to a stop. His brain was foggy and he absentmindedly kissed along her shoulder and neck.
“Did you…did you finish, bro?” he mumbled.
The owner felt light as a feather. One’s body was pleasantly hot against hers, his skin shiny with sweat, and his breath was nice in her ear.
“Yeah…” she said wistfully. “I’m okay…” She gave his hot cheek a squeeze. “You’re a sweetheart.”
One flushed in the face, then peeled himself off of her. The only ones left were Two and Four, who already had wet spots at the front of their boxers. The owner noticed for the first time that they were more different than any other two boys in the group. One shy and practical, the other outgoing and impulsive. Sun and moon, day and night, warm and cool.
And she didn’t want to choose just one.
“Both of you, over here,” she said.
Two and Four looked at each other, then back at the owner, then back at each other, then to the owner. Then the two pushed past each other racing over to the bed. The owner sat up so she was seated between them. Two puppy dogs, staring at her with mouth open and desperate, pretty eyes. The owner took both their chins in both her hands.
“You’re both too adorable,” she said.
Two and Four blushed.
“You’re adorable-er!” they said in unison.
The owner giggled, then moved both of their mouths to kiss her neck. The boys squeezed closer to her until she was sandwiched between them, their lips and tongues lapping at her neck and shoulder. Their hands explored her thighs, her back, her chest. Finally, the owner pulled them both down onto the bed with her.
From there, the three melted into one another. Two and Four kissed and touched the owner all over, moving their hands and lips and tongues along every surface of flesh they could find. The owner felt light as a feather, and she sighed as she was squished between two warm, hard male bodies. She scratched Four behind his head and Two along his hairy thigh.
“Good boys,” she purred.
The three of them entangled together in a hot, sweaty mess of legs, arms and mouths. At some point during all of it, Two and Four managed to remove their boxers. Their cocks were burning red and leaking, ready for her. Good little puppies.
Two pressed a kiss to the owner’s mouth, and reached his hands around her back to unclasp her bra. Four licked hungriled at her back to taste her sweat.
“Two take care of the front,” the owner mumbled. “Four stay behind me.”
“Like, yes ma’am,” Four responded. His breath was hot down her neck.
Two clasped a hand under the owner’s thigh, and lifted her leg to hook around his waist. Four reached around from behind and pressed his hand between her thighs. The owner sucked in a breath as he slid his fingers inside her.
The owner’s breath felt like melting wax as Four’s hand sent waves of pleasure up her body. Two planted thick, wet kisses along her mouth and face. Once Four’s fingers were sufficiently dripping, he pulled out, leaving room for Two to push his cock inside her.
The owner clasped a hand around Two’s shoulders, her nails clawing into his shoulder blade. Behind her, Four took her hips in his hands then pressed his length inside. The owner’s breath hitched as both cocks filled up inside her.
“Mmmm, fuck, you feel amazing,” Four mewed into her neck.
“Fuck, bro,” Two whimpered. “You feel so good.”
The two men started slowly, moving their hips in an even, synced rhythm so the owner’s body could adjust. The bed squeaked under their collective weight and their moans could be heard through the wall. Nothing was outside the walls of this bedroom. All there was was her and the two men inside her.
Two cock pressed perfectly over her clit and Four felt heavenly moving in and out of her. She moaned and sighed with each double wave of pleasure that struck up her body. She tightened her arm around Two’s back and sunk her nails into Four’s thigh.
The men quickened their pace. Two gripped and pounded into the owner like she might disappear again if he let her go. Four grunted into the owner’s neck with each thrust, moaning every bit of desire he held for her since they first met. All the while the owner felt like her hole was slowly burning and she welcomed heat.
She was getting close. And based on the boys grunting louder and louder, they were too.
“Yes…” the owner sighed, tipping her hand back. “Make me come…both of you…now.”
Two and Four fucked with a passion neither of them had mustered before. Their previous fights and arguments melted away. They were working together again, with the same desperate mission to make the woman between them come like a freight train.
“Home-girl…”
“Babe…”
It was fast and hot and like a lightning strike. Together, all three of them finished a melting climax. Two and Four gripped each other’s arms as they held the owner close in the middle and fucked through every heaving breath.
Time became murky, but soon the three of them all slowed to a halt. The mattress was dribbled with sweat and come and the air was thick. The owner tried to collect her breath. Two moved a sweaty black hair out of his face and Four kissed the back of her shoulder. The owner clasped a hand to each man’s face.
“Good, you two,” she said. “Good boys…”
The men nuzzled into her touch. Two took her hand and kissed her palm. Four sucked on her finger. After a few minutes of collecting themselves, they both pulled out of the owner respectively. She sunk into the mattress in a warm, satisfied puddle.
The three others joined them on the bed as well. The owner found herself in the middle of a warm, sweaty dog pile. The boys all cuddled and kissed her all over, whispering arguments to each other to move so they could get closer to her. Males bodies touching and nuzzling like a litter of puppies. The owner suddenly forgot why she’d been upset just a little while ago. She was too busy drowning in worship to remember.
FINALLY GOT TO MEET ROBBIE DAYMOND AND GET HIS SIGNATURE ON HIS HANKS ART PRINT @ Anime Expo !!!!
This was such an exciting and such nerve wracking experience for me! But I’m so glad I did it! Robbie is such a fun and amazing person to meet and I’d meet him again if I get another chance to!!!
If you don’t notice, I made shirts for me, my husband & baby as Hanks!!! I can show what they fully look like later! I feel pretty proud of them but I need to do some TLC on them.
I did go to AX for the full 4 days…I am fucking tired….my legs have stopped working 😭
heyyyy date everything tumblr, i’m bored as hell and also may or may not be working on a silly little video so, to help me out, I would love for y’all to take this quick silly little survey I made, it’s just a couple fun questions about your favorite dateables! I love seeing people ramble about their beloveds so this is your chance to do that!
I’m a curious fellow and I LOVE seeing folks gush about their favs, so this is your space to do so!
feel free to share this around :) seriously, the more responses the better
Had a thought: obvi the Hannah's still use some brainrot slang, but do they talk like valley girl cheerleaders in contrast to the Hank's frat bro energy?
Yep they totally do. It's "like" and "totally" galore hahahah 😆
bonus hate route doodles
i like my girls that are genuinely nice and chill but become super mean and bitchy when mad
gracieabrams
germansingergirl
2087
yousharknotpass
titsay
blakekathryn
baratheonpilled
discoholicmusic
kianamaiart
