Summary: Emma takes Scott on vacation to a remote cabin in the Alaskan wildness, and the Ice Queen has special plans for him. Read on AO3.
Pairing: Emma Frost x Scott Summers
Warnings: Explicit sexual content
Word Count: 4.9k words
Tags: femdom, dom/sub, oral sex, cunnilingus, pegging, finger sucking, strap sucking, hair-pulling, hand jobs, alcohol, naked male clothed female, one shot
When Emma had told Scott they were going to a cabin, he’d been expecting something a little more rustic. A simple wooden cottage, roof capped with snow and yellow window flickering with a fireplace inside. The lodging that Emma drove them up to looked more like a castle to Scott, but with a brick chimney instead of a watchtower. The structure was a few stories tall and made from sleek wood and glass.
Scott stood with his suitcase in one hand and Emma’s in another, raising his eyes slowly up the impressive structure.
“Not…exactly what I expected,” he said.
Emma shut the driver’s side door of her car. She was draped in a long white fur coat and boots that were not made for mountains, but that didn’t deter her.
“The one higher up on the mountain was already reserved,” she said. “It was too late to pay to override it, so we’ll have to settle for this.”
‘Settle’ for this? Scott thought.
He decided not to question it. Emma was opening her impressively large wallet for him, and he would've been an idiot to tell her what to do.
“We should head in,” Emma said. “The weather report states there’s a mild blizzard heading this way.”
Scott took both suitcases in his hands and followed her up the steps to the front door. It had been a long drive from the airport, and the sky was turning that deep shade of evening blue over the mountains.
The inside of the cabin was even more impressive. A massive fireplace, a twinkling wooden chandelier, white leather and fur throw blankets abound. Scott dropped both suitcases at the door just looking at the place.
“This is…incredible, Emma,” he said.
His eyes trailed along the wooden walls. They were lined with paintings of caribou, wolves and deep green terrains of trees. The place even smelled like the woods despite how luxurious it was.
Emma grinned and pulled her coat off her shoulders before tossing it onto an overstuffed chair.
“You didn’t think it was a camping trip, did you?” she asked.
“What if it was?” Scott asked. “Would we be staying in a tent with AC and a flat screen?”
“Don’t be a barbarian.”
Scott snickered. He sauntered into the living room and saw a doorway open into the kitchen. Of course, marble counters, a restaurant’s worth of cooking equipment, and a massive silver fridge no doubt already full stocked.
“It’s been a long drive over here,” he said. “I was thinking of making us some drinks.”
Emma raised an elegant eyebrow.
“Got some champagne hidden in that bag of yours?” she asked.
Scott laughed.
“We just trudged through the snow and now you want something on ice?” He sauntered towards the kitchen. “I was thinking some hot chocolate instead.”
Emma twisted her lips in consideration.
“Mix some Irish cream in it,” she said. “And I’ll have a mug.”
Scott grinned.
“Yes, ma’am,” he said.
~
Emma knew Scott would want to unpack all their luggage himself. While she found his boyish attempts at chivalry adorable, she had packed something specific she didn’t want him to find without her.
As Scott worked in the kitchen downstairs, Emma went to work upstairs. The bedroom was as impressive as the rest of the house. An appropriately picked Alaskan king bed draped with a fur duvet to match the rug. A lamp that cast an amber glow over the wooden walls adored with icy tundra photography. A chandelier resembling deer antlers flickered from the ceiling.
But the pièce de résistance were the windows left of the bed. They stood floor to ceiling, encompassing the entire wall, giving anyone inside a wide view of the roaming snowy mountains and the dense forest overtop them. It was a remote cabin, but any hikers or explorers who came close could have looked directly into the bedroom with no curtains for privacy.
Emma hadn’t quite expected that when she selected the place. But then again, the unexpected wasn’t always bad, wasn’t it? Maybe she wanted them to be seen. Maybe she wanted the whole world, every human and every mutant, to watch what she intended to do with Scott Summers.
They were only there for a few days, so it didn’t take long to put clothes in drawers and toiletries in the bathroom. Emma set Scott’s suitcase in the closet and dropped hers on the bed. It was empty except for one crucial thing.
~
Scott was impressed by how fully stocked the cabin kitchen was. He figured just from the sheer, luxurious size of the place that Emma must have paid a premium price for the highest quality stuff. Apparently, that price included a fridge filled with more food they could eat in their brief trip. Including a fully stocked bar cart.
Chocolate, milk and Bailey’s Irish cream. Scott mixed everything together until he had two steaming cups ready for both of them. He’d heard Emma’s stiletto heels on the creaking stairs, and deduced she’d taken their bags to the bedroom. No problem. She’d probably been planning on taking him upstairs anyway.
He took both steaming mugs in his hands then headed upstairs. Once he reached the bedroom, he pushed his back against the door to open it.
“Hot stuff coming in,” he said. “With two cups of coco.”
He turned into the bedroom and froze as the door fell close behind him. Emma had changed out of her (new, expensive) winter clothes into a silky ivory robe. It fell from her curves as elegantly as water down past her knees. Emma was standing by the bed in front of her suitcase, and she smirked when she saw him.
“Careful,” she said. “Don’t spill on the carpet.”
Scott shook himself out of his entrancement and sauntered over to give her her hot chocolate.
“I put some extra cream in it for you,” he said with a grin.
Emma smirked as she took the mug from him.
“Make a cream joke and I will obliterate you on the spot,” she said.
“Don’t threaten me with a good time.”
Emma held the mug in both hands, her manicured nails tinkling against the ceramic. As she took a sip, her eyes watched Scott over the rim. He had shed his parka coat and many thermal layers and was now down to a deep navy tank top. His eyes traced the outline of his muscular arms as he took a sip from his own drink.
“Obliteraing you while you’re drunk would be too easy,” she said.
“And what would be a challenge?” Scott asked with a smirk. “Lock me outside until I get frostbite?”
Don’t need the snow for that, Emma thought.
“Maybe,” she said. She swirled what remained of her drink in her cup. “Maybe I ought to release you out into the woods. I could chase you down.”
Scott smirked.
“I’d like to see you try,” he said. “I imagine delicate high heels don’t build fast feel.”
“You’d be exactly wrong.”
Scott chuckled and another took a sip. It was a little joke, Emma watched Scott over the rim of her mug. There was a large expanse of forest just outside the cabin. She imagined him darting through the trees, trying to keep his heavy breathing quiet. But even if he could quiet he couldn’t quiet his thoughts. She’d found himself just from the panic racing around in his head. Maybe she’d surprise him from the shadows, pinning him down to the cold, snowy ground.
The thought sent a surge down between her legs.
Of course, it was just a fantasy. Emma may have had a predator’s instincts, but those instincts didn’t have much use when your prey was already caught. Scott wouldn’t go running if she gave him a chance. He’d just come crawling back right into the lioness’s cave.
“I swear the chocolate makes you drunk faster,” Scott said, interrupting Emma’s train of thought. “Irish cream shouldn't be this strong.”
He dipped his head back to down the rest of the coco. Emma watched the movement of his Adam’s apple as he did. He finished with a satisfied ahhh and wiped his mouth. That’s when he noticed Emma staring at him.
“What?” he said. “You’re looking at me funny.”
Emma had been so lost in her head she didn’t realize she hadn’t blinked. She’d been doing that a lot since she and Scott got together, and she wasn’t quite sure if she didn’t mind it or not. She rubbed a finger along his upper lift.
“There’s some on your mouth,” she said.
Scott licked along his upper lip to wipe away his hot chocolate milk stache.
“I don’t taste one,” he said.
“Well, I can see it,” Emma said.
She took his mug from his hand and set it down on the table next to hers. She brought a hand to his cheek and rubbed her thumb along his lips.
“There’s more on your bottom lip,” she said.
She dried his lip then flicked hit dry on his shirt sleeve. Then, Scott took her hand and moved her thumb back to his mouth.
“And you’ve got some on your fingers,” he said.
Scott parted his lips over the tip of Emma’s thumb. She pushed it in a little deeper, and he held her eyes as he curled his tongue around her. Emma held his chin and pictured a leash running from her hand to his neck.
“You’re a specimen, Mr. Summers,” she said.
He popped her thumb out of his mouth, and wiped it dry low on his shirt, right over where his abs were outlined under his shirt.
“And I’m under your scope, Miss Frost,” he said.
It was a humorous retort, but there was something softer in Scott’s eyes. Emma didn’t even need to read his thoughts to know what he was silently speaking to her: I’m yours. In whatever way you want.
Scott often told her he couldn’t believe he was hers. He said she sometimes felt like a dream, like a wish. But privately, Emma couldn’t quite believe she had Scott. Xavier’s golden boy, the boy scout of mutants, a heart made to save the world. Meanwhile, she’d committed too many sins to keep track of. Queen of the Hellfire Club. Ice Queen.
Emma thought she’d made her heart into an impenetrable fortress, until Scott’s sunlight had found its way through the cracks. The sun to her moon, the summer to her winter, the sunkissed to her frostbitten.
Scott took her hand gently by the wrist and pressed her palm to his cheek. He held it there, and nuzzled into her touch like a kitten that wanted attention. Emma rubbed her thumb along his cheekbone.
“You’re so cold,” he mumbled.
His breath was soft against her skin. Emma felt a tingle in her canine teeth.
“And you’re so warm,” she said.
Emma pulled him down into a kiss. Scott relented immediately, sinking with a sigh into her cold lips. Kissing Emma Frost felt like kissing an ice sculpture sometimes, and he could taste the diamonds in her flesh. But he hooked an arm around her lower back and held her close.
It had been too long since Emma had last had Scott alone. Now that she did, the hunger that had been dormant in her was clawing to the surface. They were far away in the middle of nowhere now. No scrutinizing eyes to sneer about her past. No other voices to remind Scott of a certain woman with red hair.
Now, they could do whatever they wanted, be whoever they wanted. And Emma was craving him like he was a shot of vodka and she was someone who’d been sober for too long.
She fisted her hand into the back of his russet hair and pulled his head to the side. Scott’s breath hitched as she sunk her teeth into his neck.
“Fuck, Emma…” he groaned.
Then, she pushed back until he hit the wall of glass. Scott yelped as the icy window met his nearly bare back. Meanwhile Emma greedily bit and sucked at his neck like a vampire, pulling his hair with one hand while the other spider-crawled down to the seam of his jeans.
Scott didn’t resist as Emma pulled his clothes from his body. She peeled his shirt up, running her fingers across his chiseled body, before unbuttoning his jeans and letting those fall to the floor. Emma smoothed her hand down the front of Scott’s boxers, and he sucked in a suffering gasp as her icy fingers curled around his cock. She gripped him tight, her nail prickling into his tender flesh.
“This is mine,” she growled into his neck. “You’re mine. All of you.”
Scott’s heart was a hammer in his chest. He may as well have walked naked in the cave of a female polar bear. Helpless and trembling beneath her, but his body alighted under her cold touch. The hair on his neck and back stood up straight.
“I’m yours…” he whimpered against her fingers. “My cock is yours…”
Emma rubbed and toyed at Scott’s cock in his boxers. His hips twitched to her hand, his cock pulsing against her palm. His whole body burned pink and his breath came out in heavy pants. Emma felt something dribble onto her fingers.
“So wet, so easy,” she said.
A shivery grin crawled onto Scott’s face.
“Your fault,” he sighed.
He was teetering close. Emma could feel it in the throb and swell of his cock in her hand. No, she wasn’t going to let him go to waste like that. She pulled her out of his underwear, his precome sticky on her fingers. She wiped them clean on Scott’s rear and Scott squirmed when she released him.
“What are you…” he whimpered.
Scott was hard to the point of near pain. His sweaty back pressed against the chilly window and Emma sauntered back to the bed.
“You really think I’d let you finish that soon?” she said. “You’re smarter than that, Scott.”
Maybe he was. But not around her.
Emma stood with her back to him as she reached for the knot of her robe. Scott watched as the ivory silk fell elegantly from her shoulders to the floor. It was a sight that nearly made Scott collapse to his knees.
Icy white lingerie like lace that sprawled across his skin like spider web, including white stockings and garter belts. She looked like a snow queen from an old fairy tale Scott may have heard as a child. But now the fairy tale was grown up, and it made his adult body weak and limp.
No matter how long Scott and Emma stayed together, he couldn’t believe it was her sometimes. Like she was a goddess who’d taken pity on a mere mortal man.
Emma glanced over her shoulder down at the robe on the floor.
“Could you get that?” she asked.
Scott pulled his eyes away from Emma and looked at the robe on the floor. He moved closer and dropped down to the floor to gather the silk up in his hands. While he was low on the carpet. He felt the bottom of Emma’s stocking foot to his shoulder.
“That robe costs as much as your whole closet, Scott,” she said. “Drip one drop on it and I’ll have your head.”
You can have a head from me anytime, he thought.
Emma raised an eyebrow and cocked her head.
“I know what you’re thinking, Scott,” she said.
Of course she can, he thought. God damn telepaths. He had a type, didn’t he?
“Leave the robe on the chair,” Emma said, cocking in one just behind Scott. “I have something I want to do with you.”
Scott folded the robe as best he could while his body was folded over the floor. He twisted back a little and tossed it onto the chair seat. All the while Emma’s elegant foot kept him pinned below her.
“Something new?” he asked.
“New for you,” she said. “Not for me.”
Emma stepped off of him and sauntered towards the bed. She flipped open her suitcase.
“I wasn’t expecting something new,” Scott said.
Emma made an amused sound.
“Well,” she said. “Lucky for you, I’m a teacher. Showing students what to do is what I do.”
She hooked her finger around something in her suitcase before pulling it out. It was a web of white leather strips connected by shiny silver buckles. Scott was confused what exactly it was—until he saw the plastic phallus attached to the front.
The silicone cock was thick, long and in Emma’s signature pristine white. It looked brand new and Scott’s asshole instinctively puckered at the sight of it.
“Custom made,” Emma said, as she stepped into the harness. She pulled at the straps until they secured tightly around her thighs and hips.
She pressed a manicured finger to the tip and curled it around. Scott felt a hot flush up his body, and he couldn’t tell if it was dread or arousal. Emma flicked her eyes up to him.
“I did forget one thing,” she said. “I meant to buy a bottle of lube at the shop, but it slipped my mind.”
Emma didn’t forget things easily. Scott audibly swallowed, and Emma liked how his Adam’s apple moved when he did. She moved up to the edge of the bed and spread her thighs apart. Her cock was upright and ready.
“You’ll have to wet it yourself,” she said. “It will hurt if it goes in dry.” Her eyes flicked to his knees on the floor. “Don’t bother standing up to walk.”
Scott gave her a knowing smirk, then turned his body to crawl her way. Emma admired the way his body moved as she did. His strong arms and lovely hands, the curve of his hips and ass. Once he was in front of her he sat on his knees. His eyes did not leave her cock.
“Ever tried this before?” Emma asked, placing a hand behind Scott’s head.
He purses his lips.
“Not in a while,” he said.
“Not this kind?”
He shook his head. Emma rubbed her fingers in his hair and pulled his head a little closer between her thighs.
“Well, good thing you have a mouth for it,” she said.
Scott took the cock between his fingers and pressed his tongue to the tip. It tasted as new as it looked. He clasped his lips around the end and curled his tongue around it. There was a slight choking sound in his throat as she eased it deeper.
“Good boy,” Emma purred. “Get it nice and wet for me.”
She held Scott’s head steady and slowly swerved her hips to push it deeper down in his throat. For a few minutes, Scott struggled to suppress his gag reflex. But after a few minutes, his mouth and throat extended to accommodate the girth and he found a steady rhythm. He licked his tongue up and down the silicone, moaning as the tip of his tongue caressed every artificial vein. He swore he could even feel it throb.
“Mmmmmm,” he moaned.
He sucked off her cock until it was shiny with his spit. The taste even started to grow on him. Emma watched his mouth move, the way he worked his tongue, and the blood rushed down her body. Once it was sufficiently moist, Emma gently pushed Scott’s mouth off. A long thread of saliva connected the top of the cock to the tip of his tongue.
And it wasn’t just his tongue. Emma flicked her eyes down between Scott’s thighs. His cock was stone-hard and dribbled aggressively. It looked painful, and must have been given the way Scott was trembling and swearing.
“Emma…please…” he begged. His breathing quickened and he spoke in short, desperate huffs. “I can’t take it longer…please…please let me…”
His hand absentmindedly moved closer to his cock. Before he could touch himself, Emma pressed her foot down, pinning his hand to the floor.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” he said.
Scott felt her foot harden, and he watched as her flesh crystallized into hard diamond from her toes up to her shin. Using her other hard rock foot, she pushed down right on his erection. The cold diamond against Scott’s burning dick made him croak.
“Sorry…I’m sorry…” he whimpered.
Her crystal flesh was hard enough to leave bruises on his skin. But Scott didn’t mind. Pain was somehow exquisite when it was inflicted by Emma Frost.
His peaking cock was leaving a puddle between his legs. Emma took his chin between her fingers and forced him to look at her. His eyes were shiny with tears that matched her diamonds. Emma moved her mouth close to his, enough to kiss him.
“Lose the underwear,” she said.
Scott promptly pulled the last of his clothes from his hips, then didn’t resist as Emma pulled him up to his feet. He shivered a little as a cold breeze brushed over his hard, red cock. She turned him around and clasped her hands on his hips to direct him.
“You seem tense,” she said.
Emma moved one of her hands, then held it still as she crystallized her middle and index fingers. She wrapped her head around Scott’s head to stick her newly diamond fingers in his mouth.
“We’re going to have to stretch you out,” she said. “Get them wet for me.”
Scott parted his lips so Emma could finger inside this mouth. He circled his tongue around the diamond as he had to the silicone, releasing a little moan from his throat. He clasped Emma’s wrist as he sucked off her hand.
Emma smiled at his little noises. Scott Summers may as well have been a series of open and eager holes for her to peruse. Once she was sufficiently wet, she pulled her fingers from his dripping lips.
“Good boy,” she cooed in his ear.
Scott flushed warm at her praise. So warm that he was relaxed enough for Emma to slip a single finger up inside him. Scott gasped and his whole body tightened.
“Mm-hm,” Emma tsked and shook her head. “Let me in.”
Scott clenched his teeth and tried to relax his body. He’d never had anyone up there before, and it took him a few minutes of Emma fingering him before he could adjust. Then, she stuck a second crystal finger up and that’s when Scott felt the first flush of something like pleasure.
“Feels good?” Emma asked.
It did, faintly. Scott nodded.
“I can make it feel better,” Emma said.
Finally, she pulled her fingers out of him and returned them to flesh. Then, Emma clasped her hands back to Scott’s hips and pulled him close. He could feel the tip of her plastic cock against his ass cheek.
“Open your legs,” she said. “Spread your thighs and cheeks.”
Scott did as he was told. Emma gently guided his hips down, pressing her tip to his entrance. Then, she sat him down in her lap slowly, her cock enveloping inside him. Scott winced as his hole stretched around her.
“Hm,” Emma hummed. She examined where her cock went inside him. “I may have ordered it too big.”
Scott trembled and sweated on top of her. He reached his hands back to clasp Emma’s hips.
“No,” he said. “It’s perfect…you’re perfect…”
Emma smirked. She moved Scott’s hands away then moved her own hands to his waist.
“Then wide open for me,” she said.
Scott did as he was told. Despite his shuddering body, he loosened himself below the hips so Emma could slide herself deeper inside him. If it hadn't been for her mutant strength, Scott would have collapsed and melted on top of her. But Emma kept him seated upright on her cock and fucked him from behind.
“Fuck…fuck, Emma,” Scott shuddered.
She was fucking pleasure points he didn’t even know he had. It sent sharp shockwaves up his body so intense he could have collapsed.
“Open and relax a little more,” she instructed him, as if she were speaking to one of her academy students.
“Yes ma’am,” Scott groaned.
He allowed himself to loosen wide, to let her length and girth stretch him open. His saliva slid her in deeper, pushing against his pleasure point and making him arch his back.
Emma smiled against his back. She gently pressed the tip of one of her canine teeth to his shoulder.
“So cute,” she said. “I could eat you alive.”
“Please…please…” Scott whimpered. “Eat me…”
He perked out his butt to push himself deeper on top of her. Emma smoothed a hand around his asscheek and admired how her lover looked from the back.
“I can understand why they all call you a boy scout,” she said. She gave his cheek a firm smack and Scott grunted. “So well behaved…and so handsome when you are…”
She’d hit him hard enough to leave an elegant red handprint on his rear. Emma bit down on Scott’s shoulder and sucked at his skin as she bucked her hips faster. When she pulled her mouth away, there was a wet, teeth-shaped ring in his flesh.
Scott tried to move himself in time with her, but it felt too good when she pushed herself up in him. Her girth stretched him open every time she thrust up and he could have gone limp from sheer pleasure of it.
Between bites, Emma planted thick kisses along Scott’s shoulders, leaving a trail of silver lipstick across his flesh.
“So cute…” she mumbled into his flesh. “So sweet…”
She smoothed her hands along Scott’s hairy inner thighs to spread him opener wide. He was getting close, she could what it in every grunt and groan from his throat as she thrust inside him Emma grabbed his wrists before he could touch his cock.
“Uh-uh,” she tsked in his ear. “I’m finishing you.”
Emma began fucking him viciously. Harder, deeper, faster. Scott’s groans turned to high-pitched whimpers as Emma’s cock sent him barrelling over the edge.
“Emma….Emma, please…” he whimpered.
Scott unraveled before her. A hot, wet mess dripped down to the carpet between Scott’s ankles as Emma fucked him dry. By the time it was all out of him, his whole body was burning bright pink and plastered with sweat.
“You poor thing…” Emma said softly. “You finished too early.”
Scott tried to mumble a “sorry” but his brain was soup and his body was limp as a ragdoll. He was so pliant that Emma had no problem gently moving him back down to the floor. His knees met the wet spot he left on the rug as she placed him in front of her.
“Help me get this off,” she instructed.
Scott did as she said. He unclicked the buckles and pulled the harness down from her legs. Once it was gone, Emma twisted her thumbs into the sides of her panties and pulled those down off. As soon as Scott could smell her, his mouth began to water.
Emma cupped the back of Scott’s head and pulled his mouth to bare pussy. His lips instinctively parted and his tongue split between her folds.
“Mmmmmm, good boy,” Emma hummed.
Her fingers immediately tightened in his hair. Emma’s hips twitched as Scott slowly worked his tongue inside. Sometimes she forgot what he could do with his fingers he could do even better with his tongue. She wanted to snap her legs tight around his head. Instead, she pressed a foot on his shoulder to stop herself.
Scott curled his long, velvety tongue inside her, until he felt Emma tightened around his mouth. Her sighs turned to growls in her throat, and Scott had to push her legs open to keep her from clamping around his head. Scott didn’t want it to end. He could have spent the entire night on his knees making her cum in his mouth. But then Emma gave his russet hair a harsh pull, and he knew she was getting impatient. He licked his tongue up her pussy, then sucked directly on her clit.
Emma sucked in a breath as if she’d been struck, her nails digging into her lover’s scalp. She fucked his mouth, her hips bucking, until every drop of her had gushed into his lips. Even once she was done, Scott kept going, greedily licking up every bit of her he could get, just to savor her a little longer.
Emma gently pushed Scott’s head away with her palm to his forehead. His lips were shiny with her pleasure and his tongue dripped with saliva.
“You eat like a pig,” she said.
Scott licked around his lips to stop his face from dripping. He mustered a grin and a defiant glint in his eye.
“You give me a lot to eat,” he said.
Emma smirked, then took Scott by the shoulder and pulled him up onto the bed with her. It was at that moment that a flurry of snowflakes began to fall outside the window. The blizzard had arrived, but Scott felt warm in Emma’s arms as she pulled the fur duvet over them.
“There is a non-zero chance we could be snowed in tomorrow,” she whispered to him. She took him by the chin. “You might be trapped in here with me for at least a day or two.”
Scott grinned, then moved her hand to cup his cheek.
Cultural and social emphasis on forgiveness not only enables abuse to continue, but enables the deliberate cheapening of forgiveness. And my forgiveness isn't cheap. My trust isn't cheap. My love isn't cheap. I refuse to keep selling out just to make other people feel better.
Also: stop putting all the responsibility on the survivor. We already have enough to work on. It’s not our burden to do the work so that the people who traumatized us can feel better about themselves. They gotta do their own work if they want that.
I know, I also have self esteem so low that accepting a compliment feels physically painful but basically calling the person who’s complimenting you a liar doesn’t help anybody including yourself.
The kindest thing that literature does is remind you that your little peculiar feelings have always existed. Someone, in some century, felt equally bewildered by love, bored by society, tired of pretending, and hungry for meaning.
oopsie i tripped and spilled my link to archive dot org's downloadable copy of Microsoft office suite for 2007, which features no AI tools and is a powerful word processor that still holds up just fine on windows 10!
I hate how people call it a ‘gender war’ like gender-based violence doesn’t primarily go in one direction and there aren’t incels with podcasts saying that the 19th Amendment should be overturned. There has never been a Gamergate for women, there has yet to be a female Elliot Rodger. This is not a war. Women are occasionally lobbing unfriendly comments at men and men are detonating nuclear bombs on them. And there is a definite reason that women today are outspoken about being disillusioned by and disgusted with their male peers and committed to decentering men in their lives and it isn’t because all these women are radical misandrists who do not see men as human. Gender war makes it seem like a petty squabble with two offensives and not women realizing that many of their male peers genuinely hate them.
*TERFs, I sincerely hope you shit yourself in a public place, go fuck yourself and do not touch my post. This post is not for you.
The early 2010s millennial hope of a better more progressive future contrasted with the sharp traditionalist alt-right U-turn that so many Gen Z and millennial men went down scarred generations of women.
the thing is like. i get that it's scary and makes people who do desire to get pregnant uncomfortable when we talk about the brutality and violence of pregnancy and the damage that pregnancy can do to your body
but you deserve to give informed consent to that process.
the lies around pregnancy - that it's inherently safe, that it doesn't do you permanent damage, that it's only extremely rare for people to die of pregnancy complications, etc like
all of these are lies constructed so that more people will get pregnant w/o knowing all that
there needs to be more talk about the impact of miscarriages and how common they are, how different abortion processes are and how accessible they are
but also like. talking about how pregnancy fucks your body up should not be taboo
this is a process that permanently changes most people's bodies, and that's even if the pregnancy doesn't do them like. severe illness or injury
and i just think everybody should have a right to KNOW that
bc to live in a society that intentionally obscures and hides facts about a completely optional and dangerous process does so for a reason, and that reason is based in a very sinister ideology that does not value bodily autonomy or informed consent
Here is a story about the depths to which pregnant people are seen as a vessel for a baby, and the importance of finding prenatal care that assumes you are a human and not a baby holder:
When I was pregnant I was in a million forums for pregnant people because (cough adhd hyperfixation) and I had something called SPD (Symphysis pubis dysfunction) (not Sensory Processing Disorder though I also have that) which is where your pubic bones separate early (more or less) because they get all loosey goosey as your body gets ready to crank that baby out.
Except my pubic bone got confused and got misaligned at like 3 months pregnant. I could barely walk. I couldn't roll over in bed. Doing something that required me to shift my weight from one foot to another like opening a door knob was like an excruciatingly painful knife being stabbed into my pubic bone, I can't express how intense and blinding it was.
So I am in one million baby forums like "am I dying what is happening why is there a knife in my pubic bone" and all these people are like "I have that too! my doctor says it's normal and not to worry because it doesn't hurt the baby. I just deal with it by laying in bed for months in excruciating pain and think about how lucky I am to be having a little miracle growing in my body."
So lol nope. I went to my midwife and they are like, "Oh squeeze a can between your knees look up a physical therapy youtube on SPD" and I did that can-squeeze thing and it CURED THE PROBLEM in ONE DAY. I had been SUFFERING, y'all, it felt miraculous.
And I was so full of rage (flames, flames on the side of my face) that people are being told "Oh, it's NORMAL just deal with it" "It doesn't hurt the baby." Like, look, yes it's NORMAL but it's 100% treatable!!! SPD (again, not Sensory processing disorder) affects 1 in 5 pregnant people.
I was lucky to have amazing midwives (need a gender neutral term for that profession, but they see pregnant men and women)(side note highly recommend midwives if you are gender nonconfirming/a man/etc) and I have DOZENS of examples of shit like this.
(Another example is post partum friends being like "oh I am peeing my pants 900x day after giving birth" and my doctor says it's NORMAL so I just dealt with it for decades. My midwives were like "Oh that's normal and also physical therapy cures that in like 2 sessions")
When my sister was looking to get pregnant she was given the best advice. She was told that being pregnant is an experience akin to being in a moderate sized car crash, in terms of risk and lasting injury.
Some people in moderate car crashes are very lucky, and walk away with zero injury. Some are very unlucky, and die. But most people fall into the third category, where they'll be injured at the time, then heal, and then for the rest of their life they have some minor and liveable complication from the injury. Like a knee that lets you know when the rain is coming, or a back that doesn't like seats without lumbar support, or a shoulder that never quite gets its full range of motion back.
The vast majority of people survive and thrive, like. But their body is never the same again. And people should know that when they make the choice of whether to put their body through that or not
my mom had a complication postpartum that caused pain and swelling in her left leg. at the time she was told it was "milk leg" and that it was normal and she'd be fine, but it never went away or got better. she finally found a doctor recently who was willing to do some tests and found out it's a condition called "May-Thurner syndrome" and had surgery to fix it
she's been suffering with this since she gave birth to me. I'm 38 years old. she had that surgery last week.
there needs to be more dialogue about the things your body goes through during pregnancy. "that's normal" or "everyone goes through that" need to stop being used to shut down conversations about the horrific, permanent damage that can be done to bodies during pregnancy and childbirth. just because it's "normal" doesn't mean it needs to be endured
I know this is not pertinent to the post but midwife is probably not gendered in the way you think. (The post gets this right btw but I see a lot of people getting it backwards) The “wife” in midwife (with the woman in OE) refers to the person giving birth, not the Obstetrician.
Granted, it still needs to be updated because not just women give birth.
Here is an etymologically equivalent but gender neutral term I just made:
Hey also: babies are not medicine, or unconditional love playthings. Having a baby won't save your relationship, or fix the problems in your life if you haven't done the work to get yourself in a good place mentally, physically, and emotionally, already. People don't ask to be born, and having to grow up with parents that transfer their problems onto their children just perpetuates the cycles of abuse and life-long issues. Given you're not likely to get clear, concise, unbiased healthcare anyway, as seen above, and it will be continually impressed upon you that it is your duty to have children, make sure you're not succumbing to social pressures, or wanting to be a parent for the wrong reasons.
Genuinely, I think a large part of why so many people are unwilling to talk about risks, complications, pain and injury around birth, pregnancy and lactation is because of how deeply ingrained the (primarily but not exclusively) religious idea that "a woman's body is designed to have children" is. Because if you actually sat down and looked, clear-eyed, at all the many ways in which even a healthy pregnancy can negatively impact the body, it would be that much harder to believe that design factors in at all, unless we're willing to argue that the designer was shit at their job. But if you're sold the idea that pregnancy is some divinely ordained and/or ultimate expression of Feminine Life Purpose, and then you have a bad experience, you're much more likely to blame yourself, or to think there's something wrong with you, or to suffer in silence because nobody ever told you this could happen so there must not be any easy solutions, and that makes me so fucking mad I could spit.
I recommend watching content from Abigail Porter, aka The Girl With The List. She’s makes videos about all the things that can happen to you during pregnancy and it’s very informative. She’s also great if you need some childfree-by-choice positivity.
The Girl With The List | Childfree cat lady reminding you to take your birth control
Yes, I'm Nobody too @ladyantiheroine - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
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