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klara hansson. 28. ri native. owner + operator ⇉ get rocked fitness.

[hanssoned-blog]

alvajalvarez:

Hey, hey. Don’t be getting negative here. The people make the party, the host just sets it up. We still got all the opportunity to make this thing banging.

Are you planning on bringing the bang to the luau? You talk like a key player, but what’s your strategy here?

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allaboutthat-bas:

Don’t worry, my expectations, as always, will remain non-existent.

Then do me a favor and keep them that way. You’re making me look refreshingly optimistic for a change. 

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marleycorinne:

I’m choosing to keep my head up about it and just see what happens. I mean, I’m not working tonight and I’m done my finals, so there’s nothing else to do. Plus, you could just leave if you think it’s lame and put your time to better use.

I admire your optimism in spite of a party thrown by the ultimate party pooper. I’d probably follow your lead if I hadn’t already talked myself into believing otherwise. Are you planning to stay and stick it out no matter what?

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stripthatmason:

I think you’re being sarcastic, but I can’t really tell. Personally, I’m all for balloon animals and magic tricks. It makes everything so much better. Based on what  I can tell from Sue, though, this whole mixer in general came as a big surprise.

Balloon crowns and coin tricks haven’t really been my thing for a while; I think most people tend to grow out of pulling rabbits from hats. Are you a magic act in training? Better yet, will you be performing at the mixer? 

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writelikefabray:

Please, tell me more about your niece’s baptism bbq. I’m dying to know.

Let’s start with the fact it’s a party held in an apartment conference room. She could dress it up however she’d like, there’s nothing that could make office chairs and track suits worth it.

The Sparknotes include a handsy magician and Scooby Doo’s misshapen, knockoff cousin, Booby Boo. Sound like something up your alley?

I think we all know Sue wouldn’t splurge for anything more than Dollar Tree decor, but we’re lucky she’s not bringing Hawaii to the basement. 

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elizasroses:

This is just a public service announcement that if one more man at the club tries to grab my ass or tits again then I will literally snap your fingers in front of your very eyeballs. Or pop you in the nose.

Anyways, now that that’s over with and I’ve gotten my irritated violent urges out of my system: I’m entirely too glad to be back in the apartments. How many more times do you think Sue will have to kick her tenants out because of shitty conditions? I saw dirt brown water come out of my shower at one point and literally threw the biggest hissy fit. I don’t think she likes me too much, but I’m not too concerned where it comes to Sue and her track suit bottoms being in a twist. 

Looking without touching seems to be difficult for the type of men that pay to see nipple tassels, but my fingers are doubly crossed that the imminent threat of danger scares that out of their system. 

Have you tried killing Sue with kindness? She’s extremely receptive to ass kissing. 

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TWITTER 🐦

@zasamuel: we’re slow at the ice cream shop today kiddos, so whoever comes and buys some ice cream from me will get a free shot of tequila from my backpack! courtesy of your old pal zach

@hansson: is that what's wrong with kids these days? they're opting for tequila shots instead of rainbow sprinkles?

[hanssoned-blog]

It’s in all our best interests to keep our expectations for Thursday at an all time low. I’ve known Sue for years, and if we’re lucky, the mixer’ll be on par with my niece’s baptism bbq. Or worse. If there aren’t balloon animals and magic tricks, is a pizza party really worth taking the night off for?