Other side.

Hannah

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Is it worth the pain?

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Now…. Its just real :) Finally.

Entry #5 Journal, The Other Side (Me)

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Entry #5 March 21, 2015 1:09am

I’m so happy. Overwhelmed. Flattered. Blessed. After all those days and nights that I've cried for one person and for same reason over and over again...At this moment, I can say that, its all worth it. I've learned how to accept the flaws and mistakes of my partner. His imperfection, which makes him a wonderful person. And His love, makes me feel special. Makes me feel wanted. So romantic and real. Makes my heart wanted him more. Love him without any hesitation. Lil’ bit corny huh? Well, that's how i feel. And there’s no reason to hide it (even if, it means that the way i expressed my love is too munchy and too cliche -.- hahahahah) 

Ej is one of the reason why i found myself reconciling to my father. He didnt know this issue because we’re not yet there to talk about it. And Im not yet ready to open this topic with him. I think its useless because we are both happy with our relationship now. I don't want to ruin the moment. and I think i need to let go of this bad memories of mine. Those memories that makes me feel betrayed by my father. The reason why i started to hate committing to someone, afraid to enter a relationship and to trust someone. But I met ej. In most unexpected way and time. I didnt expect that he’ll give me such a wonderful feeling of being loved by someone. Suddenly, im starting to fall for him....and then in days? weeks? months? I DONT KNOW.... HOW, WHEN, WHY but conquer those fears and doubts in my mind. I found myself loving him. Do some sweet and romantic stuffs. Saying those sweet words and making funny conversations everyday. At that time, im not prepared for some serious commitment. God knows im not! :p But i cant help myself to like him. Like there is some magical spell that saying, that I badly need and wanted to know him more. I wanted see his other side. The real one. And then i came and realized one thing..... At first, its hard for me to admit this but my heart surrenders..... I knew one thing, that is.......

I love him. And I don’t want to let him go. Not this time.

And that’s how our relationship continuous.... Even though it has a bad start for us. But in allowance of mistakes and patience. A days, weeks, months of having no conversation, realizing the worth of each other. And reassuring both our feelings for each other. Now, where in the stage when we finally know how to respect and be real to each others feeling. No secrets. Open to talk about any issues. Any problems that each other is facing. All the things that matters. 

Now.... Its just real :) Finally.

If there’s important things ive learned in commitment and love? That is how to appreciate myself and my partner. Respect. and TRUST him.... that’s how relationship grows. I wish this love will remains forever. I wish he’s the one. If only i knew..... 

PS: Kainis ang muchy ko hahahaha boset -.- Sana wag nyang mabasa to. Utang na loob. May nakakaalam kasi ng tumblr ko eh. Si hazel lyn T__T Barok english ko dito eh hahahaha. Corni pa! Baka kiligin kasi yun hahahaha Tsaka nakakahiya baka asarin lang ako nun. Baka lumaki ulo nya -.- 

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thank you po lord :> kasi hanggang ngayon, ayos padin yung relasyon namin. Ang dami ko pong dapat ipagpasalamat! Thank you poooo! <3

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Naiinis parin ako pero okay na pakiramdam ko. Mas okay na kesa kanina. Feeling ko sasabog ako eh -.-

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Entry #4 March 7, 2015 4:33pm

Gusto lang kitang makasama at makausap. Marami ako ikukuwento. Sobrang namimiss na kasi kita. Sa tono ng boses mo kanina habang kausap kita, alam kong parehas tayo ng nararamdaman. Pero di pa kasi ayos yung problema ko. Natatakot lang naman kasi ako na baka, hindi na kita maksama. Baka huli na to. At espesyal din tong araw na to kasi monthsary naten. Kaso sobrang hirap na kasi ng sitwasyon lalo na ngayon, nakiki-alam na sila mama at papa :( Alam ko gusto mo munang maayos to bago tayo makapag-usap. Iniintindi ko naman yung sitwasyon, tama ka naman. Kaso di ko maiwasang malungkot at madissapoint. Kasi alam ko di kita makakasama sa special na araw na to. 

Alam ko di mo naman mababasa to. At nagreet na naman kita kanina pero, I just want to say, Thank you.... Thank you kasi nirerespeto mo desisyon ni mama. Alam kong kamapakan ko lang iniisip mo. Ayaw mo ng magawy kami ni mama. Ayaw mo ng magsinungaling ako (sorry matigas ulo ko ha :p ). Sorry  din kung parang complicated pa para sa akin ang lahat ng bagay, sana maintindihan mo. 

Baby, Sobrang namimiss na kita :( Marami akong ikukuwento pag nagkita tayo. Sobrang dadaldal ako ng bonggang bongga. Di ko na papalagpasin ung chance na yun. Ill treasure every moment na magkasama at masaya tayong naguusap. Thank you sa lahat. Alam ko di mo mababasa to (kaya nga ang lakas ng loob kong magdiary dito eh hahhaha) basta Happy 8th Monthsary! I love you baby! :* 

PS: Kanina naiinis pa ako sayo pagtapos nateng magusap kanina sa phone habang pauwi ako. Kakairita ka kasi eh di ko alam kung bat nainis ako sayo. Siguro more on, nanghihinayang. Pero ewan ko bigla na lang nawala lahat ng inis ko at napangiti ako habang tinatype ko tong message ko sayo. Moody ba? :3 Sorry na. Basta I love you ej. Kung mababasa mo to edi nabasa mo na -_- pakiealam ko?? XD hahahaha djk. Kainis mukha akong baliw dito. Kanina naiinis ako, tas ngayon natatawa at kinakausap ko sarili ko -_- peste loka loka na nga ako. Pwede ng mental hahaha -_- Haaaay. Basta inis paden ako sayo, kaso slight na lang hahahaha Che -_- I love yoooooou baby! :* <3

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"Sayang." Yan lang ang masasabi ko para sayo. Sobrang sayang lang...... :(

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Wag mo ng dagdagan yung sama ng loob ko. Swear, nahihirapan na ako. Sobraaa.. minsan nakakawalang gana na.

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Nabubwisit talaga ako! Fakkk.

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WTF -____________-''' Haayyyy.

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I'm gonna place my bet on us

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Just tell me, its not the end of the line

Olly Murs ft. Demi Lovato, Up.

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Cause if you want to keep me, you gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, got to love me harder

Ariana Grande ft. The Weekend, Love Me Harder.

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"I'm not capable of leaving you alone" -Then don't ☺

Christian Grey, Anastacia Steele, Fifty Shades of Grey.

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i'll pretend that everything is just fine and im alright

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Oh, baby, I need you now :'(

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And I don't know how I can do without. I just need you now....

Need you now, Lady Antebellum