this...
tumblr dot com
DEAR READER
dirt enthusiast
styofa doing anything
Peter Solarz
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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Not today Justin
will byers stan first human second

Kiana Khansmith

if i look back, i am lost

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣

⁂

roma★
NASA

izzy's playlists!
Today's Document
Show & Tell

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@hanuwuie
this...
I know this is not a very good photo, composition wise, but it feels... special
about...
something...
Exposed ?!? ✨
Friendly reminder that during a concert back in 2022 (iirc) Hongjoong said: "Mingi is sexy and his voice is really deep. So... that's my type" in front of thousands of Atiny. Look at him fold like a lawn chair 💖 (you know he slept on the couch that night lol)
And San is like 😤 I told you to Stop. That.
San : "Can you stop."
Mirror Thoughts
°°°
Sometimes some things are better kept supressed. Even the thoughts, in your mind.
°°°
A story but in narrative?
🕯️🕯️🕯️
The mirrors always told me, Keep your mind quiet, some can listen quite well, But I never listened. Not that I didn't want to but because I could not. My mind was always full of thoughts, it was nearly impossible for it to be quiet.
My mother, a very calm person, always had an idea of what I wanted but my father always tripped on it. She would scold me or rather pretend to randomly teach us about a fact, when, exactly the moment, I was thinking about - bad thoughts here - something.
It was not something I considered weird or out of place, it was common, for a mother to know her child. But even so, it wasn't till my family, there was a neighborhood kid, he went to my school.
Somehow, he always knew if something was up with the kids. He would befriend the bestest friend and tell a bad fish in the swarm without a second look. I didn't like him. He was odd.
Even at school, he would tell if the teachers were planning something or the students had a plan up their sleeve, he knew it all. It left me with even more thoughts, even more questions and even more hate.
I was getting tired of it. Of people who knew something was up, who knew what we thought, the know-it-alls.
By the time I was sixteen ,my mother died, and my father still won't pick the topic up. He says, 'It's better to let the sad past be past', it must hurt him to lose his wife.
I was sad, but not for long. I was able to cope with it pretty quickly, probably because I was always occupied with thoughts, any thoughts. And not much to surprise the boy also changed school and moved.
During high school, I liked a girl, she said I think too loudly. I don't know what got her thinking so but she disliked me to the extent of leaving school last semester and never graduating. People do are very interesting.
They really should think of others too. We are humans too, we feel as they do, we hear as they do, we think as they do. But my mirror again thinks differently, it's not the same for them and me. It thinks I'm special. It told me I'm special.
The officer said he'll come again, my mirror called him a liar. The cops were always a bad influence on our society, if you don't make rules, none would be able to break them. The mirror was always right by me. Always with me. Agreeing.
The cell is a cold place, the cops get a good uniform but I was given a worn out rubbish, that's not fair. I tried to help myself but instead I was given a warning, 'Behave or we'll take what's given', they said. Who are they to order me around?
So, I fought for myself, I wasn't guilty but was probably proven so. The judge had a similar look on his face, like he knew, he knew what I thought. It was icky. I felt the urge to do it again but was held back by the bars of the asylum.
The assistant nurse was a really good lady, a bit dumb but she was almost always clueless. The mirror told me she was faking it, that she was the same as the others. It never spoke again, it left me. shattered. I broke the mirror, it couldn't stand me having another, real, friend.
The nurse liked it and praised me. She got me to the gardens, I don't think that much anymore but I like to sit in silence and wonder, what's it like to not think at all. What is it like to be able to control.
I may not hear them thoughts but always knew if they heard mine and I don't like it so, I got rid of it.
---
🕐 : 12:58 Am
It's just a short narrative story. Don't think too much of it. It knows.
Brother
Genre - fiction, fan-made, non idol.
Warning - Sad and angsty ig...
word count - 827... well.
(Getting logged out and got locked out of the account isn't fun.)
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"If he loved me why'd he leave me in that hell"
"if only he knows why I left"
✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
<Part 4>
Jeongin Pov
“Be at it.”
I was standing at the corner, crying with my hand over my mouth. I still remember how much it hurted, cutting the onions, tomatoes, and lemon was pure torture. Suddenly I felt myself collapse, and pain shot through my body.
The surroundings got blurry as I saw my room again, for a split second. Drenched in sweat I stood up. The room was dark, so, I looked around with my hands as I blinked fast to clear up my vision. Shibal! I hit my foot on the side table.
I drank a whole cup of water and fell back in bed. The sleep still in my eyes, I slowly drift off. Back to dreaming, hoping for a good one this time, but we're not that lucky, are we; –The author loves to traumatize me.
The black faded, I saw my father standing at the doorstep as I peeked from upstairs, ‘Minho hyung is gone’ was all I could hear at that moment. How can he leave me here? He promised.
I remember he promised to leave with me. We planned but, why?
“We will go together!”
“Promise!?!”
“Promise.”
I am still here but you are free. Why? Why do you not love me? Why did you leave me here?
My father reached me, pulling me down with him. It hurts. But I don't do anything, I can't do anything. The woman, my mother, had her dress dirty like they ran over the dirt; I knew hyung was planning to leave but I didn't betray him, like he did.
My whole body ached. I don't know how long, I can't move. The rain was drenching me, the bench was cold, the wind made me shiver. The park, once an escape, now felt cold and deserted. It felt lonely and sad.
Author Pov
An eight year old cold and alone, hurt lying in the park. Why is God so cruel to him, the poor boy didn’t even do anything. The cold kept increasing, tears blurring the vision, he opened his eyes back in his bedroom. 4 P.M?!? It was the morning chill that woke Jeongin up, tearing him from his nightmare cum memory.
The sky looked rather pale for the morning, quite cold for July. He ruffled the blanket due to the cold. It was too early for him to go to work, His shift was from 10 today. He got some reservations done for today.
The Cafe occasionally send some staff on bookings or Restaurants. Even though Jeongin doesn't go, he felt he should try so, he got two reservation done for today – 10 Am and 7 Pm – weird right.
Waking up at 4 wasn't something he planned and it's bad it happened he'll feel sleepy at the shift now, Bad luck. He decided to go for a run, That saying ‘Go for a run in the very morning and now your day can't be any worse’ or something.
Sweaty, he returned at the apartment meeting with a half asleep Hyunjin in pyjamas, a rare sight, with his hair sticking everywhere. In a split second, upon seeing Jeongin, Hyunjin dashed back in his room.
“Morning Hyung-”
Shrugging, Jeongin drank a glass of water and skipped to his room. He sat on his bed until a knock was heard, opening the door, a well dressed Hyunjin entered scratching his head.
“umm hey jeongina”
“Hi hyung,” Jeongin made some space for him “you need something?”
“Not really,” Hyunjin sat beside Jeongin “I just wanted to talk to you”
“Sure”
“When will you be back today?” Hyunjin said straight forwardly “Like from work.”
“Uhmm around like,” Jeongin counted on his fingers “ Either 10 or 11. Why?”
“Uhh nothing, I gotta go for today,” Hyunjin stood up “Will be back tomorrow, maybe.”
“Okay, sure” Hyunjin left after telling Jeongin who sat back, lazily.
---
After the 10 Am shift Jeongin was pretty much drained, thank God he got 5 hours before going to work again. He would never take bookings again.
He huffed lightly as he walks on the footpath, the road was still damp from the morning rain. The chip-chap sound of his foot mixed with the horns and swooshes of the cars and buses.
“Hey Jeong-”
Jeongin clasped the mouth of his loud friend, who saw him and just decided to scream. He looked around for any unwanted attention.
“Oh shut up,” Jeongin rolled his eyes, “We're in the middle of road.”
“So, what!” Han smiled shamelessly.
“What do you want?” Jeongin walked up ahead.
“Umm what time is your booking?” Han caught up.
“At 7,” He frowned, “Why?”
“Nothing,” Han walked away blowing a kiss, “Happy shift”
“whatever” Jeongin made a ‘disgusting’ face.
---
“Mr. Park, He will be there at around 10.”
“How can you be so sure, Ji?”
“I know, he got to work at 7, should be finished by 10.”
“This better be right, or else.”
“Of course Mr. Park”
“Now leave.”
Brother
Genre - fiction, fan-made, non idol.
Warning - Sad and angsty ig...
word count - 940, exactly
(didn't knew you could add the songs-)
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"If he loved me why'd he leave me in that hell"
"if only he knows why I left"
✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
<Part 3>
Author Pov
"Tell him his brother loves him"
Lee know walks away with that, leaving Han standing there scratching his head.
He heads towards Jeongin and pats his shoulder, to which Jeongin jerks up, in response, startled. Frantically looking around his eyes finally landing on Han as he huffs a sigh.
Jeongin Pov
(Moments before, After Lee know left)
I saw my mother coming towards me -I know I was panicking and this wasn't real but it's still scary- , I looked around trying to move but i couldn't. Behind me was my father, holding me in place.
I closed my eyes hoping for it to pass, nothing was happening I still felt the grip on me. Sweat and tears were dripping, I was hoping for someone to save me, But how can anyone. It was all in my mind and I hate it for that.
Suddenly a sharp stinging pain on my left cheek forced me to open my eyes, the angry and red...? The face of my mother was not something I could get over even if I was a hundred years old.
No words, no movements, no nothing suddenly everything stilled... when I, finally able to move, shrieked from a touch on my shoulder. The surroundings got pitch black and Jisung's face appeared from the dark.
"Are you okay, Jeongin?"
"I.. I am fine, thanks" I stood up about to leave when Jisung held my hand, stopping me with a confused face.
"Tell me" He said in a voice I don't know how but broke me into telling him.
My voice wavered as soon as I spoke due to which he held my hand and gently dragged me to the kitchen for privacy. Jisung knows most chapters about my life, including my parent's abuse. So, this wasn't supposed to be a secret.
I told him everything, from a to z. Though his face looked concerned, I knew he was scared himself. Turning around I asked for a half day off, Granted I walked out of the cafe and left. Deciding upon sleeping when reaching home, has been long since a good night's sleep.
---
I knocked on the door as it was not locked from outside. With a tired face I entered and Hyunjin looked concerned as soon as he saw me. I walked in with my slippers and plopped on the sofa.
"Hey Jeongina, are you okay?" He asked with a soft voice, "You look pale."
I gave him a look as he followed me, stopping right at the foot of the sofa. I thought for a moment what to say, calculating the consequences of each answer.
"Just mentally exhausted," I finally said, "Is there anything to eat?"
"uhh.. just made some Kimbaps" Hyunjin said to which I glanced at the fridge, "I'll heat them up."
Hyunjin Sets the plate of warm Kimbaps as I sit freshen. I was hungry and just wanted to sleep as soon as I could.
"Thanks" I said as I placed the dish in the sink, not wanting to wash right now, I headed straight to my room.
Author Pov
Hyunjin sat on the sofa still worried about the younger boy, it's 7:38 and there's no sign from the boy. He made the food already but didn't knock on the younger one.
It was late at night so he decided to not disturb the younger and just leave a note on his door. Setting the food in the fridge, he goes to sleep. After about an hour he finally slips.
Jeongin wakes up cold in sweat.
---
I looked around searching for something to light up the pitch black room. Hearing the door creaking I threw myself down on the floor near what I suppose was my bed, going limp I held my breath scared.
It was my supposed dad, he turned on the light looking around for something. I didn’t dare make a noise when he looked straight at me, surprisingly ignoring me. I sat up as he turned to but covered my ears.
“YA JAE IYEN(I.n)!” He screamed for me. I stood up and ran down the stairs, towards the kitchen when the calendar caught my eye.
Baffled, I slowed down. It was the 9th of November, 2008. Four days before Minho hyung left or should I say ran away, it wasn’t the worst but one of the worst days. I still remember the pain.
“Yes, Father?” I saw the young, eight year old me come out of the bathroom, unknown of what’s coming.
“Who do you think will get the pot off the stove? Or you wanna kill us by food poisoning by overcooking it??” The man, unfortunately my father, slapped the poor boy.
I follow the young me to the kitchen, looking for something to hold the pot with no handles. I bite my lips trying to help him as he hastily picks up the pot, burning his hands. Tears run down both our eyes.
“Hurry up, now will you?” The man screamed at the poor boy. I was burning up inside, but still the fear overtook me.
“Yes. Father. Tsh” The boy hissed as he put the pot down, hoping they were done with him today, but lucky wasn’t something he was.
“Where is my salad??” This time the man’s wife, my mother, spoke. The boy glanced at his burned hands and said.
“Be at it.”
I was standing at the corner, crying with my hand over my mouth. I still remember how much it hurted, cutting the onions, tomatoes, and lemon was pure torture. Suddenly I felt myself collapse, and pain shot through my body.
oh my godddd ♡
Allah this is so pretty
Ninja cat
That's not some cat but the almighty PUSS IN BOOTS... Maybe his boots, hat and sword were stolen... Maybe
Doodling skzoo for fun, but why is Hanquokka so scary😭😭
who ate her cheesecake?
let's go on a little walk, see the world outside ♪
Namjoonified Chrissstopher
unexpected bts x skz collab
FIREEE!!
List of things that don't listen to what Bang Chan says:
1- Stray Kids 2- STAY 3- Mosquitoes *NEW*
JAE FRIENDS EP. 45
He looks so devastatingly cute.. ahh oldie-ya I get u kinda here.
The truth.
Source: thedodo
#Ruby the baby cat
Brother
Genre - fiction, fan-made, non idol.
Warning - Sad and angsty ig...
Word count - Idk?
✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
"If he loved me why'd he leave me in that hell"
"if only he knows why I left"
✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
<Part 2>
Author Pov
Jeongin was shocked at the name. Unable to believe his ears, he looked at Han with wide eyes.
"LN?" Jeongin looked between both of them, "Are you the one-?"
"yes, I am LN. Or you can call me Lino Hyung" Lee know cuts him off as he again introduced himself. "I am 24" lee know tilts his head to which Jeongin nods.
---
Jeongin was in his room, swinging his feet on the chair when someone knocked on his door. He got up and opened his door to see Hyunjin, His... 'house-mate'?, well they share the house.
Hyunjin is older than Jeongin, they share the apartment as the price is reaching the sky and they both can't afford the rent single handedly. They were like brothers, but sometimes Hyunjin would be moody, like now.
"This was at the door, for you." Hyunjin hands him a paper bag. "I don't know what's in it."
Jeongin thanks him and closes the door, reaching back to his previous place. The bag was not much fancy, rather plain, thought there was cookies in it, his favorite.
After settling the cookies in his jar, eating a few, he saw a card in the bag. It was somewhat a business card, LN, the name caught his eye. He saw an address and a phone number, decided to text a 'thank you for cookies', he unlocked his phone.
<chat>
J: Anneyong, I received the cookies.
J: Thank you very much.
Not expecting any replies he went to shower, deciding to finally sleep. He met Lee know quite a lot in a week after the meet at the cafe, But they're not still friends, acquaintance maybe.
Jeongin went straight to bed after the shower... the message long forgotten, apparently sleep is more important than a text.
---
Jeongin was again at the cafe cleaning a bit here and there, Han was sitting with Lee know chatting. He was about to sit down when he heard Han call him. "What?" Jeongin said.
Jeongin pov
"sit, sit"
I sat down because if Han starts persisting, there's no escape.
"You didn't answer my texts?" Lee know asked and I can tell it was directed towards me.
"h-huh" I checked my phone and yeah there were messages. Well not my fault, no one would think they'll get a reply from such a man.
Jisung gets up as Lee know gives him a looks and walks to the kitchen... I didn't question him still thinking of apologizing for not literally ignoring Lee know, until.
"Anyway," Lee Know takes a sip of his coffee, apparently he loves coffee a little too much, "Do You, by any chance, know the whereabouts of you brother, Jeongin?"
"Why would I know about him" My face had a very obvious scowl, "He could be anywhere he want."
Hearing me, I instantly knew by the look on Lee Know's face, that he something was wrong and he was surely surprise. He thought for a moment before speaking, his words sad.
"You don't like him-" He cut his words, "I mean don't you wanna meet him, not for even once. Like he is your brother afterall"
"Why should I, he doesn't even care he has a brother out there" I puffed my cheeks not wanting to cry.
"What do you mean" He looked straight into my eyes, "But he loves you, he is your brother ofc"
"If he loved me why'd he leave me in that hell" I know my words were overly sensitive and straightforward, but I can't keep it in anymore.
"I-" Lee know couldn't speak, Dumbstruck he sat there for a moment and stood up, "Please check the messages now, Might be something important now."
Author Pov
As Lee know was leaving, He bumped into Han, who stopped him and looked over to Jeongin who was sitting with his head down, probably crying.
"What happened" Han motions to Jeongin over his shoulder, "He's crying. Quite rare."
Lee know told Han about the brother talk he had with jeongin, to which Han smiled but his smile faltered as soon it came. He looked straight into Lee know's eyes speaking.
"He, apparently, hates his brother" With a straight face he continues, "But this is the longest he ever talked to someone about him"
Though Lee know was quite sad, He smiled and looked at Jeongin's back.
"Tell him his brother loves him"