ghibli_levels_of_romantic

romanticize life because why not?

[happywithlifetoday]

I never thought about where I wanted to live. I assumed I’d always be here in the Midwest, swallowed up by all the cornfields without the time or money to visit Chicago more than once a year. I didn’t dream of leaving in a serious way.

But college is coming, and I am leaving. Going off to another state nothing like my own. And, after that, I can see something new: a new life, a new place, a new way to be.

I want to live in NYC and let myself drown in the city. And if I think about it, I was always supposed to find myself there. Someday.

[happywithlifetoday]

I spent all day thinking about you.

It’s been five years. We’re both heading off to college, even though yesterday we were on the middle school playground, kissing in the tower. I don’t think about you often, but when I do, it’s all I can think about until I forget again.

I have your sweatshirt still, even though I’ve mistreated it. It’s still in the barn from when I used it to hold that stray cat that came by. She loved it. Her name is Rei, even though I couldn’t keep her. I have pictures of her in your jacket.

Two flakes of yellow paint are on the sleeve. It’s almost pretty against the navy blue. I remember where I got them: the theatre monologue project when we had to make masks for our characters. I made a yellow fox. I didn’t like the project, but the class was so fun with all our friends.

The front says “Washington D.C.” I used to feel bad about wearing it because I’d never been, but now I went a few summers ago after we parted. It was wonderful. I wore the sweatshirt the whole time like a tourist.

Somehow, you find me in my dreams still. Even when I think I’m done, you come back. I know they say love is reserved for high school sweathearts or young adult office romances, but the way I dream of you makes me think I did love you. And if I didn’t? Oh, what real love must be like.

[happywithlifetoday]

Journaling really makes a difference. Journaling while listening to lo-fi music? All the difference in the world.

[happywithlifetoday]

I find myself becoming more lost as quarantine goes on. At first, this was temporary. Everything would be fine in a few weeks, right? I can make the best of things for now, but only for a little while.

A little while has become months. Last night, I didn’t know what to do about it. Why do anything at all? Does anything really matter anymore? Everything has gone wrong and will keep going wrong.

I hate being like that so I went on Pinterest. I found a recipe for fudge and made it immediately. I had nothing else to do, right? Then I went on YouTube and found the recipe to my favorite game’s signature food, LeBlanc Curry from Persona 5. Both tasted fantastic and it took me a long time to get it all done. I spent time in my day in a productive, rewarding way.

Don’t let this time control you or make you lose sight of all that’s left to come after. Find a new hobby or whip up a new recipe: the possibilites are still endless, even 4 months later.

[happywithlifetoday]

Fall in Love With Life

Ever watch a Studio Ghibli film and just? Gasp at the beauty in everything?

The main character rides the train? Aesthetic! She’s biking through the city? Wonderful! She’s hanging out in her attic bedroom studying? I wish that were me! And, it turns out, it totally can be you.

Fall in love with the way you live your life. Everything is beautiful in soft, little ways if you let yourself notice.