CREATION THROUGH DESTRUCTION

if we're not supposed to dance / why all this music?

[harerazor]

TEMPORARY HIATUS UNTIL MID-JUNE; I AM MOVING IRL❤️‍🔥

INDIE OC & CANON MULTIMUSE. private & selective. WRITTEN BY REUBEN! he/they, early 30s. interacting with mutuals only!

CARRD. MEMES. // always accepting! INBOX. // open & unprompted welcome <3 anon is always off.

blog is themed after altair holloway, my main oc. chill vibes & chill activity. currently in alnst & link click & jjk hell.

rules are on my carrd!

REVELING WITH @gravesung (1 & 2) // @tewwor // @koseigu // @underbloods ( 1 & 2 ) // @sangsorrow // @quillheel

FEATURED CANONS ivan (alien stage) / luka (alien stage) // vein (link click) / liu xiao (link click) // kusakabe atsuya (jjk) / kenjaku (jjk) / toji (jjk) // ayanami rei (nge)

GRAPHIC CREDITS general multimuse icons templates & dividers | altair icons | kusakabe icons | vein & ivan icon templates & dividers

banner template credit | banner art | banner edited by raine!

[harerazor]

// at the stage of packing where there's visibly significant progress but also 2398042894 things still left to do

[harerazor]

// weekend after this one!!!!!!

[harerazor]

// at the stage of packing where there's visibly significant progress but also 2398042894 things still left to do

[datsumi]

I hope I occupy the biggest space in his head

[harerazor]

@sangsorrow @sangscars

[harerazor]

im still hiatus'd BUT!!!!!!

thinkin so hard about how mizi was hit across the face for not being attracted to men (and in the same comic, that same guy dismissing her feelings for sua as Non-Competition in favor of comparing himself to till and her collar switching from green to red as soon as he makes that dismissal), and it being (in-universe, not metatextually) couched as Her Fault she got hit for people's attraction to her despite her just being sweet and friendly (for however much that was a survival mechanism) and her 'im sorry i dont know what i did wrong!!' after her rejection was met with violence and AUGHH

& her being dressed as a bride for r5 and luka playing up the ~romance~ angle for the crowd and the way the segyein eat it upppp

& how her delusion of herself in true face is of this hyperfeminine seductress who revels in being able to use peoples' attraction to her advantage, that at the point of her most self-loathing she thinks of herself in that extremely objectified image of herself whilmst she's holding her friend's body

there is so much to say about how much her narrative commentary is tied up in external comphet thats SO good to chew on. who she ought to be be attracted to, how she Ought to behave, how she's meant to be perceived & how she's internalized her objectification as some fault of her own rather than what is projected onto her by others

which is to say. here's my reasoning for mizi at her most actualized and comfortable with herself being a butch lesbian in my modern verses --

[harerazor]

// quiet on the dash for a bit because i am in the process of moving irl :3! excited tbh

[harerazor]

// making the hiatus more official/loud by updating my pinned. u might see occasional proof of life before then but i'll be back for realsies mid-june!

[harerazor]

// quiet on the dash for a bit because i am in the process of moving irl :3! excited tbh

[harerazor]

"look at me, i'm dying because of you" im going to eat my hands abt ivan. self-sacrifice tinged with resentment. yeah, of course, he molded his whole personality that way bcs he wanted to survive, mr fawn response himself. whatever. WHATEVER.

in lighter news ivan saying he'd be chubbier if he wasn't made to compete on alien stage IS everything to me. im going to feed him. i need to get working on my food fic. i need to feed the cast delicious meals.

[harerazor]

please for the love of god discord come back

[harerazor]

❝  you need someone.  let me be that person.  let me be what you need.  ❞ ivanya :)

@sangsorrow // IT'S ALL ABOUT THE YEARNING >> accepting!

IVAN IS TOO TIRED TO RESIST TEMPTATION. all this time spent pushing back against the way his body continues to change, the link between them only strengthening, only to be faced with an increasing inevitability. it's in his head, worming its way into every little facet of him, and the choice of whether he lives or dies had been stripped away from him in turn.

ivan is exhausted.

right now, stripped of the defenses he'd spent so long building up around himself, something almost sounds nice about the offer. some last vestige of stubbornness prevents him from speaking— choosing instead to slump against his doppelganger. fine. i give up.

for the night, at least.

[harerazor]

HC // VEIN >> WORK & REST

vein really isn't the type to be able to sit idly with their own thoughts. it's not so much that he can't relax— he can, especially when in the company of one (1) xia fei (@gravesung in particular :3). rather— if they have spare time, they'd rather be doing something.

they really are a diligent worker— getting to the top and maintaining that is not easy no matter how effortless they make it seem now; but it also means he's pouring over reports and papers over breakfast before he's even properly dressed for the day. even when he's resting, he's working on something (which doesn't necessarily have to be work work; it could be hobby or an art).

part of it stems from having to handle a lot of things by themself growing up (and during the establishment of their criminal org), and a general paranoia for people being in their space; so he actually knows how to do a surprising amount of maintenance work by hand— not that anyone gets to really see it.

besides that, it means they've developed a lot of odd skills in their pursuit of hypercompetence.

[petaltexturedskies]

Dulce María Loynaz, from "Time" in These Are Not Sweet Girls: Poetry by Latin American Women

[harerazor]

@gravesung @sangsorrow

[merimedefeauseaux-blog]

[ohisms]

𝟏𝟎𝟎 𝑵𝑶𝑵𝑽𝑬𝑹𝑩𝑨𝑳 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑴𝑷𝑻𝑺 .    (  a  collection  of  100  nonverbal  action  prompts .   mature  and  potentially  triggering  themes  are  present .   add  “ + reverse ”  to  swap  assigned  roles . )

∗ o1﹕ sender  tucks  hair  out  of  receiver’s  face . ∗ o2﹕ sender  offers  receiver  a  bite  from  their  fork . ∗ o3﹕ sender  places  their  feet / legs  in  receiver's  lap . ∗ o4﹕ sender  offers  receiver  an  earbud  to  share  their  music . ∗ o5﹕ sender  comforts  receiver  in  the  aftermath  of  a  nightmare . ∗ o6﹕ sender  gives  receiver  company  in  the  hospital . ∗ o7﹕ sender  wraps  their  arms  around  a  hysterical  receiver  to  calm  them . ∗ o8﹕ sender  shows  up  at  receiver’s  home  late  at  night . ∗ o9﹕ sender  falls  asleep  leaning  against  receiver . ∗ 1o﹕ sender  wields  a  [ gun / knife ]  at  receiver . ∗ 11﹕ sender  runs  their  fingers  through  receiver’s  hair . ∗ 12﹕ sender  invites  receiver  to  dance . ∗ 13﹕ sender  takes  a  [ picture / video ]  of  receiver . ∗ 14﹕ sender  places  their  head  in  receiver’s  lap . ∗ 15﹕ sender  and  receiver  make  eye  contact  across  a  busy  room . ∗ 16﹕ sender  pushes  receiver  against  a  wall  to  kiss  them . ∗ 17﹕ sender  and  receiver  cook  together . ∗ 18﹕ sender  comes  to  receiver  after  being  injured . ∗ 19﹕ sender  sits  in  receiver’s  lap . ∗ 2o﹕ sender  lifts  receiver's  chin ,  invoking  eye  contact . ∗ 21﹕ sender  overtakes  receiver  in  combat . ∗ 22﹕ sender  finds  receiver  [ injured / bloodied ] . ∗ 23﹕ sender  straightens  an  article  of  receiver’s  clothes . ∗ 24﹕ sender  crawls  into  bed  with  receiver . ∗ 25﹕ sender  rolls  their  eyes  at  receiver . ∗ 26﹕ sender  lights  receiver’s  [ cigarette / joint ] . ∗ 27﹕ sender  is  caught  wearing  receiver's  clothes . ∗ 28﹕ sender  strikes  receiver  with  a  pillow . ∗ 29﹕ sender  writes  a  note  on  receiver’s  skin :  [ note ] . ∗ 3o﹕ sender  wraps  a  blanket  around  receiver’s  shoulders . ∗ 31﹕ sender  runs  and  jumps  into  receiver’s  arms . ∗ 32﹕ sender  shoves  receiver  out  of  anger . ∗ 33﹕ sender  hovers  over  receiver’s  shoulder  as  they  complete  a  task . ∗ 34﹕ sender  is  found  by  receiver  somewhere  they  shouldn’t  be . ∗ 35﹕ sender  curls  up  against  receiver  in  their  sleep . ∗ 36﹕ sender  is  found  drunk  by  receiver . ∗ 37﹕ sender  throws  an  item  of  sentiment  bitterly  at  receiver . ∗ 38﹕ sender  joins  receiver  in  the  shower . ∗ 39﹕ sender  is  caught  following  receiver . ∗ 4o﹕ sender  traces  one  of  receiver’s  [ scars / bruises ] . ∗ 41﹕ sender  twines  their  fingers  with  receiver’s . ∗ 42﹕ sender  barges  into  receiver’s  home  unannounced . ∗ 43﹕ sender  kicks  receiver’s  shin  beneath  a  table . ∗ 44﹕ sender  aggressively  shoves  past  receiver . ∗ 45﹕ sender  kisses  receiver’s  [ forehead / cheek ] . ∗ 46﹕ sender  pulls  receiver  out  of  harm’s  way . ∗ 47﹕ sender  is  found  sobbing  by  receiver . ∗ 48﹕ sender  locks  receiver  out  of  their  room . ∗ 49﹕ sender  brings  receiver  [ coffee / tea ]  in  the  morning . ∗ 5o﹕ sender  rests  their  forehead  against  receiver’s . ∗ 51﹕ sender  plays  a  song  for  receiver  that  reminds  them  of  them :  [ song ] . ∗ 52﹕ sender  takes  a  [ punch / stab / bullet ]  meant  for  receiver . ∗ 53﹕ sender  buys  receiver  a  drink  at  a  bar . ∗ 54﹕ sender  needs  receiver’s  help  getting  in  the  bath . ∗ 55﹕ sender  and  receiver  cross  paths  in  the  kitchen  late  at  night . ∗ 56﹕ sender  twists  receiver’s  arm  behind  their  back . ∗ 57﹕ sender  winks  at  receiver . ∗ 58﹕ sender  is  found  collapsed  by  receiver . ∗ 59﹕ sender  prevents  an  injured  receiver  from  getting  up . ∗ 6o﹕ sender  claps  a  hand  over  receiver’s  mouth  to  silence  them . ∗ 61﹕ sender  cages  receiver  against  a  [ wall / the floor ]  with  their  arms . ∗ 62﹕ sender  storms  away  from  receiver  during  an  argument . ∗ 63﹕ sender  is  found  by  receiver  sleeping  in  receiver’s  bed . ∗ 64﹕ sender  [ applies / touches up ]  receiver’s  makeup . ∗ 65﹕ sender  throws  receiver  into  a  wall  during  combat . ∗ 66﹕ sender  dances  sensually  with  receiver . ∗ 67﹕ sender  strikes  receiver  across  the  face . ∗ 68﹕ sender  places  their  hand  on  receiver’s  leg  while  driving . ∗ 69﹕ sender  pulls  a  chair  out  from  under  receiver . ∗ 7o﹕ sender  catches  receiver’s  wrist  when  they  turn  to  leave . ∗ 71﹕ sender  leaves  an  intimate  mark  on  receiver . ∗ 72﹕ sender  beats  receiver  in  a  video  game . ∗ 73﹕ sender  and  receiver  stand  in  stunned  silence  after  a  fight . ∗ 74﹕ sender  cares  for  receiver  while  they’re  sick . ∗ 75﹕ sender  and  receiver  go  on  a  hike . ∗ 76﹕ sender  is  caught  snooping  in  receiver’s  things . ∗ 77﹕ sender  and  receiver  cuddle  while  watching  television . ∗ 78﹕ sender  throws  something  aggressively  at  receiver . ∗ 79﹕ sender  creeps  up  behind  receiver  to  scare  them . ∗ 8o﹕ sender  and  receiver  go  shopping  together . ∗ 81﹕ sender  helps  receiver  [ dye / style ]  their  hair . ∗ 82﹕ sender  draws  receiver  into  a  kiss  by  the  back  of  their  neck . ∗ 83﹕ sender  is  discovered  having  a  panic  attack  by  receiver . ∗ 84﹕ sender  accidentally  injures  receiver  during  sparring . ∗ 85﹕ sender  grabs  receiver  roughly  by  the  hair . ∗ 86﹕ sender  brings  receiver  to  their  knees  during  combat . ∗ 87﹕ sender  shows  receiver  evidence  of  a  lie  they  told . ∗ 88﹕ sender  winks  [ seductively / mockingly ]  at  receiver . ∗ 89﹕ sender  yells  at  receiver  to  put  their  hands  in  the  air . ∗ 9o﹕ sender  helps  receiver  patch  up  a  wound . ∗ 91﹕ sender  holds  receiver  as  they  cry . ∗ 92﹕ sender  silently  and  angrily  points  receiver  towards  the  door . ∗ 93﹕ sender  gestures  for  receiver  to  sit  down . ∗ 94﹕ sender  pulls  receiver  into  their  lap . ∗ 95﹕ sender  cradles  receiver’s  face . ∗ 96﹕ sender  tackles  receiver  out  of  the  way  of  danger . ∗ 97﹕ sender  has  hidden  an  injury  from  receiver ,  and  receiver  finds  out . ∗ 98﹕ sender  confronts  receiver  about  their  unhealthy  behavior . ∗ 99﹕ sender  proposes  to  receiver . ∗ 1oo﹕ sender  has  just  died ,  receiver  finds  out .

[miwa1y]

[tewwor]

An eye slides open.

"That's all I get?" He mumbles before puckering his lips — almost to a comical degree.

[harerazor]

"i didn't want to disturb your rest." god knows hiromi needs it; though it seems like atsuya's attempt had failed regardless. with an exasperated - but no less fond - sigh, he leans down to peck at his partner's lips.

[gravesung]

❝ WHUGH... WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE... it's— ❞ squints blearily at her phone. ❝ three in the morning? ❞

[harerazor]

"I JUST GOT BACK. YOU CAN GO BACK TO SLEEP if you'd prefer." voice soft and even as always— and for once looks no worse for wear than usual, rather than the injuries and scrapes she typically acquires on her solo missions. gingerly, she sits on the edge of chiaki's bed.