Harleen is Queen. @harleenisqueen - Tumblr Blog

sandmandaddy69

gaybirdnerd

On a totally serious op

Ghost: *In sniper position* "If you see an Apple Store get robbed, does that make you an iWitness?"

Soap: "Are you serious right now?"

Ghost: "No, I'm Ghost"

Soap: "I will kill you"

Ghost: "Do it pansy"

Soap: "I will force you into therapy"

Ghost: "Damn ok, no jokes today, got it."

5 minutes later

Soap: "...What do you call a painting of missiles?"

Ghost: "I thought we were going to therapy"

Soap: "Just answer the question"

Ghost: "Well, I don't know. What?"

Soap: "Art-illery"

Ghost: *has to lay his head down to not laugh.*

utopians

life becomes so beautiful when you start cooking rice in liquids other than water

utopians

put that basmati rice in the cooker with coconut cream and chicken stock and an entire onion that you've diced and sauteed with garlic until transparent. and some salt and pepper. Trust me

youaremyeverlovin

effemimaniac

"Uncle Benadryl's one minute rice" one minute what? awake? left to live?

hubblegleeflower

New Tumblr is now such that I cannot just go to the post with the recipe but must reblog the gatorade and uncle benadryl if I ever hope to make rice with coconut cream.

mapsontheweb

Distribution of ticks infected with Lyme disease in the US

doras-battle-axe

ticks fully respect the california-nevada border

mactavishenjoyer

Gaz:"why is soap blasting before he cheats by Carrie Underwood?"

Ghost:"I didn't invite him on my date with roach."

Gaz:"so why's roach with him?"

Ghost:"soap wanted cuddles"

Gaz:

Gaz:"your relationship confuses me."

duallpa

Initiation (Season 3, Episode 5) Cocktails (Season 3, Episode 17)

shotmrmiller

marriage of convenience but only because johnny's family would never accept simon as his boyfriend due to archaic beliefs so johnny finds you on like OF or something.

he's got an incredibly healthy bank account too, so he asks(begs) you to take his last name and in turn he pays you for it. monthly pension, he's got you covered for school too-- whatever you want, just be his wife so he can finally fuck simon in peace.

except his family wants to meet you and now he's obligated to take you over. and then his mom starts hounding about grandchildren.

we just got married, ma.

ah expect at least 6 bairns, ye hear?

and then his intrusive sister suddenly brings up why the both of y'all aren't have any sex.

the walls are thin, lad. we'd hear ye whether we want to or nae.

he gets tense, stuffs his clammy hands in his pockets as he warbles that you're on your menses, it's improper.

fer two weeks?

now he's got you under him fully clothed that same night with your legs cradling his trim hips wondering why his cock is half-mast even though he only likes men and loves simon.

or maybe he is fully into men, but simon (apparently) isn't and his eyes keep straying to you, his loyal, dutiful wife, as you paint your toes a pretty color in the sunroom.

weirdmageddon

ghcstao3

the rare time, maybe at a bar or some other place, that soap and ghost are asked if they’re a couple (they are), soap will immediately go on the defensive (yeah, what about it?) because they’ve both dealt with a number of homophobic pricks before, and when intentions are initially unclear, soap is more than ready to throw fists in defense of their relationship. because fuck, he loves ghost, and no one is allowed to speak negatively about what they have.

but then whoever it is might say something like you two are sweet together or how did you meet afterwards and soap’s face then splits into a blinding grin before he’s gushing about how much he loves his partner (all the while ghost is looking at him with the most lovestruck expression any person could muster).