Basically it's just stupid stuff I imagine my OC harley would get up to or say if she was in the MCU. So I'm also aware no one asked for this but I'm doing it so idc..
Will mention 18+ jokes and have a lot of swearing and a little angst probably...
Please enjoy and if you like it enough I might do more who knows?.
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Peter Parker's a really bad thief... And Tony is forced to choose a bad tasting alcohol
Tony: God damn it harley! Stop stealing my expensive alcohol! It's mine!.
Harley: Tony your "expensive alcohol" tastes like sewage water so it's definitely not me because i don't hate myself enough to drink that stuff 🤮.
Harley: besides if it were me I'm not dumb enough to take a amount you'll notice is missing or get caught I'm not a Peter Parker 🙄.
Peter: Hey! I'm not that bad!
Tony: unfortunately she's right underoos, anyways! Just because I am trying a new type of alcohol doesn't mean it's bad and it's been then nothing!
Harley: if you were a drink it's what you would taste like.
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Peter: so what are you all doing for father's Day?
Tony: Getting blacked out drunk so I don't remember my pain.
Harley: disappointing my father by existing.
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Peter is lost while Sam and bucky were babysitting him
Sam: okay we might have a slight problem...just don't freak out
Harley: is he alive!?, Is he hurt!?
Bucky: probably... But we have no idea...
Sam: because grandpa over here lost him!
Harley: YOU LOST MY SPIDER-BABY!?
Tony: *having a full on heart attack*
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Someone stole harley's favourite stash of chocolate chip cookies and she's out for revenge. And Peter's her favourite.
Harley: YOU ALL HAVE TILL THE COUNT OF TEN TO TELL ME WHO. ATE. MY. GOD. DAMN. COOKIES OR ELSE IMA REEK HAVOC ON Y'ALL'S ASSES! ....ONE!, ......TWO!
Sam: *fears for his life*
Harley: Three! ... Four! ... Five!!
Clint: *silently praying for his life*
Harley: Six! .... Seven!..
Clint: It was Peter! He ate them!
Peter: *almost chokes to death as he stares wide eyed at Clint*
Harley: Pete? You should have said something! If you like them I'll buy you more! Come on let's go! *Smile's brightly*
Tony whispering to Nat: he's definitely her favourite...
Nat: oh definitely no doubt about that
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Harley walks in on Bruce and Natasha Kissing.
Harley: hey Nat can i- *stops and stares a little before shrugging* I guess your busy, I'ma just borrow a this...*takes Natasha's red lipstick from her dresser and walks out closing the door after her*
Natasha: *laughs* don't ask.
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A Karen talks bad about Bucky's arm while harley and him we're on a date.
Bucky: So what do you want to do first? Go on a ride?, Get something to eat or play a game? I was thinking-*gets interrupted by a rude Karen*
Karen: Omg! Can you not show of that murder weapon in public!? There's kids around?!
Bucky: oh.. uh sorry.. *starts feeling slightly bad about his arm now and goes to put his jacket on but harley stops him*
Harley: Listen here you fat nosed, Shrek looking bitch he ain't doing anything wrong so maybe take your unwanted opinions and your big ass forehead and leave because the olny thing That will be giving the kids a nightmare is a look at you!~ *she growls lightly and gives the Karen a look that says "try Me bitch" *
Karen:*Huff's Angrily and storms off*
Bucky: *was laughing his ass off*