I’d like to think that one day I’ll be happy with my life
$LAYYYTER
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@harrysmels
I’d like to think that one day I’ll be happy with my life
if I was a little prettier, would I still be your baby?
Can I get a booty pic with your panties on and one without them on? Can I also get 3 different pics of your boobs any position. Also, can i get just a normal pic of your pussy from the front and one where it's spread a bit open. Can i get a picture of you fingering yourself? Can i
This level of romance or don’t even bother
hope your pets stay healthy in 2017
I almost didn’t blog this and felt guilty
Not risking it
hope ya pets even healthier in 2018
hope your pets discover immortality in 2019
ok if yall have never seen a jenna marbles/julien solomita video i am begging you to PLEASE watch this because it’s literally the most incredible thing you will ever watch in your life
“All right. Flash forward to the future. You’re married. Kids, grandkids. And you look over to the woman sitting next to you. Be honest with yourself. Is that May?”
one time in 7th grade i was having unbearable intestinal pain like i could not move at all it hurt so bad so i went to the nurse and she sent me home and the second i got home i farted for legitimately 45 seconds and all of the pain disappeared
A deeply touching story
That’s honestly fucking terrifying.
I fucked up a job interview so bad today they asked me why I wanted to work at this fast food restaurant and I blanked and said that when I was little I liked their fries and wanted to be the French fry queen
I got the job
I just realized I haven’t told you guys about how 3rd President of the United States Thomas Jefferson haunts my dorm room.
Okay so basically at the beginning of the year, weird shit began happening in our dorm room, me and my roommate would hear/see things, TVs and phones and computers would start on there own and do other weird things.
We decided jokingly that the room was haunted and named the ghost Jeff and even made it a door tag.
Me and my roommate began to notice a trend it the activity of “Jeff” He always seemed to act up most when I talked shit about Thomas Jefferson or James Madison’s personality/policies/etc.
We began to joke that it was Thomas Jefferson or James Madison (hell we even joked it might be Dolley)
Well the other day, our ghost confirmed himself as “Thomas Jefferson.”
After a particularly rude attack on Thomas Jefferson character (I claimed the best thing he ever did was die.) A fucking giant ass jumbo size box of Mac and Cheese fell off of the tallest shelf in our dorm room.
I’m talking one of these babies but it’s like a 20 pack. To me it’s obviously that this is obviously proof that “inventor” of mac and cheese, 3rd President of the United States who was born and died in Virginia travelled to Upstate New York in an area he never even came close to in his life to haunt my dorm
My roommate is not convinced though: She still thinks it could be James Madison.
But a Madison-sized ghost couldn’t have reached the mac and cheese (We conducted an experiment to see if Madison would have been able to reach it when he was only 5′4″ and being 5′4″, I couldn’t even reach it jumping up and down.)
So yes, me and my roommate have proved undeniable that Thomas Jefferson haunts our dorm room.
Also she pointed out that we randomly named the ghost “Jeff” which is pretty fucking close to Jefferson. Coincidence? OBVIOUSLY NOT.
“But a Madison-sized ghost couldn’t have reached the mac and cheese”
I’m so glad I was alive to see this sentence written.
Why were you regularly shit talking founding fathers tho
I’m a salty U.S. History Major, that’s why
This is the quality content I signed up for
need a man who’s ride or die for me like this
Louis defending Harry and Zayn defending Liam. +