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Familiar, Not Friendly: Snape's friendships with the other Hogwarts staff

Here I try to get a feel for how Snape might have fit in with the other staff, and the extent to which he was really friends with them.

To do that, I tried to find every reference to the staff interacting across all of the books, focusing on how often they're seen speaking and socialising, how they speak to one another, who sits with who, etc, and try to draw conclusions about Snape's working relationships (and possible friendships) with the other staff.

Spoiler alert: he doesn't really have any.

For a number of reasons, we don't get too much insight into staff dynamics in the books, especially as it relates to Snape. Snape is not the focus of the stories, functions as an antagonist and/or red herring for a few of them, and Harry has little to no interest in or access to Snape's social life - but even so, what little we do see of Snape's relationships makes them a little challenging to assess. He lives, works, and dines practically all year with the other staff, so there is not much opportunity for those relationships to end even if they are strained; there is much more opportunity for them to develop shared understanding through time and proximity (i.e. perhaps the other professors were unsure of him to start, but then they get used to him or his "quirks" by virtue of his being there for so long); and in the interest of professionalism they would all have to at least be cordial. Plus, Snape's position as a spy - or, in the earlier years, waiting until Voldemort would return so he could resume his role as spy - may also have led him to keep those relationships more superficial than they might otherwise have been.

That's not to say he couldn't have formed friendships under those conditions, and astute readers among us will be keen to remind me that the interactions between McGonagall and Snape suggest that they were friends with a thriving Quidditch rivalry:

"we’ll be out of the running for the eighth year in a row, as Professor Snape was kind enough to remind me only last night""I’ve become accustomed to seeing the Quidditch Cup in my study, boys, and I really don’t want to have to hand it over to Professor Snape" "Flattened in that last match by Slytherin, I couldn’t look Severus Snape in the face for weeks. . . ."

There is also one other firm glimpse into Snape's relationship with McGonagall: when she returns from St Mungo's, and Snape seen expressing apparently genuine relief at her return:

That's not really my interpretation of this scene, though, and I have a lot of thoughts about it. But we'll stick a pin in that for now, because Snape's chipperness in this moment is probably enough for its own meta, and this one (as of editing) is already rather long.

But one (friendly) rivalry does not demonstrate a wider pattern of thriving friendships - and as I've speculated before, none of the other staff intuitively seem particularly close or friendly with Snape, and I actually think he seems to be a bit of an outsider. Perhaps the most straightforward argument in favour of this view is that upon learning about Dumbledore's death, McGonagall says this:

“Snape,” repeated McGonagall faintly, falling into the chair. “We all wondered… but he trusted… always… Snape… I can’t believe it…”

We all wondered - though whether they all wondered whether Snape had ever truly been trustworthy, had ever switched sides, whether Dumbledore had been wrong to trust him, or why Dumbledore ever trusted him in the first place, is perhaps down to reader interpretation. I suspect it's a little of everything. It's also not clear how long they all wondered for. Did they trust him at the start, and that trust was shattered upon the reveal of his Dark Mark in GoF, or did some of them know he'd once been a Death Eater from day dot?

Still, this suggests that all of the staff were uncertain about Snape, and had been certainly at least since the second war had started, if not before. And to me this is fascinating, because the Hogwarts staff had been living, dining, and working alongside Snape for around fifteen years at that point, excluding only some of the holidays, and none of them seemed to suggest that they didn't think Snape capable of killing someone (except Hagrid).

To me, this suggests that they can't have been that close to Snape. If they were, someone might've considered something was up when Snape killed Dumbledore, because they trusted Snape and felt as though they knew him - or because, at the very least, they had spent a significant amount of time with him.

But perhaps they didn't spend a significant amount of time with him - or, perhaps, that time was not particularly... close? Meaningful? Intimate? Friendly, even? Perhaps outside of mealtimes and the occasional staff meeting, they hardly spoke with Snape at all.

When considering Snape's ability to build/maintain relationships we should consider how well he interacts in a friendly, reciprocal manner with the other professors, asking questions about him like whether or not he enjoys social gatherings, how he acts when he's there, and whether he engages in social pleasantries or just the exchange of information. Although we don't see much of the staff's down-time in private, I think we can start to ponder the answers to some of those questions from the fleeting information that we do have.

Aside from the aforementioned Quidditch rivalry, Snape is rarely, to my memory, mentioned to be chatting or speaking to anyone else in just a friendly manner (social pleasantries) - that is, he rarely speaks to anyone if it does not relate to work or his other duties (information exchange). McGonagall intends to speak to Snape about Draco's behaviour in PS. Lupin speaks to Snape about the werewolf essay and his Wolfsbane potion. Dumbledore speaks to Snape to move Harry's detention in HBP (and about various spying escapades). Slughorn also attempts to speak to Snape to move Harry's detention - with much less success.

But contrast those examples with the interactions of the other professors. I searched all of the books for all of the 'lesser-seen' professors: Sinistra, Flitwick, Sprout, Madam Hooch, Trelawney, and Madam Pomfrey, as well as a cursory sort of glance over Snape, Dumbledore, and McGonagall - to get an overview on how those staff members are implied to interact. The mentions of their relationships and interactions behind the scenes are fleeting - but see if you can spot who's missing:

McGonagall and Flitwick are seen together putting up the Christmas decorations in PS. Around the same time, Dumbledore is seen laughing at a cracker joke Flitwick told him. Hooch and Flitwick check Harry's broom together (PoA). We see McGonagall talking to Dumbledore at dinner a few times. McGonagall and Sprout "exchange a significant glance" when Umbridge gives her speech (OotP). Sinistra is seen talking to Sprout in GoF, and Professor Grubbly-Plank is described as "chatting" to Professor Sinistra in OotP. Dumbledore once says Madam Pomfrey complimented his new earmuffs (PS). We see McGonagall, Flitwick, and Hagrid (joined by Fudge and Madame Rosmerta) meet for drinks in The Three Broomsticks (PoA). Slughorn is seen in conversation with Sprout, where Sprout speaks to Slughorn "warmly". McGonagall told Lupin about Harry's grim-in-the-tea-leaves fiasco with Trelawney. At the Yule Ball, Dumbledore dances with Sprout. "Moody" dances with Sinistra. Pomfrey wanted to resign in protest when McGonagall was Stunned in OotP. We see Hagrid "getting redder and redder in the face as he called for more wine, finally kissing Professor McGonagall on the cheek, who, to Harry’s amazement, giggled and blushed, her top hat lopsided" one Christmas feast. McGonagall told Flitwick about Harry's special permission to join the Quidditch team in PS, and Flitwick seems thrilled to hear it. Sprout and Madam Pomfrey seem to chat a bit, having discussed work-related issues like the Mandrakes and the Petrified students in CoS (obviously); later in the series you could argue that Sprout grows Bubotubers partly for Madam Pomfrey's benefit, since Sprout and Pomfrey have evidently discussed more trivial things like the challenge of students resorting to extreme lengths to rid themselves of acne - and that Pomfrey had to re-attach Eloise Midgen's nose (GoF). All of the professors knew Lupin was a werewolf, though I believe it's implied that only "certain professors" (guess who?) had a problem with it; Lupin is even seen chatting "animatedly" with Flitwick. When Ron was accidentally poisoned in HBP Slughorn was obviously there, then "ran for help, McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey turned up", and later in the evening Harry told Dumbledore (who is currently with Ron's parents), as well as McGonagall, Madam Pomfrey, Hermione, and Ginny. Still, when Hagrid arrives, he says it was Sprout who told him what had happened, not anyone who had been involved so far - so the staff must have been speaking in the meantime. When the staff can no longer speak safely in the staffroom thanks to Umbridge, it is only Flitwick, McGonagall, and Sprout who are named as being "huddled together" to speak in the halls. Despite being the other Head of House, and one of the main staff members in the books outside of McGonagall and Dumbledore, Snape is noticeably absent throughout.

Whether this is something we as readers pick up on consciously or subconsciously, Snape only very rarely gets to share 'moments' with the other staff. He doesn't share jokes, or chat, or dance, or go out socialising with the other professors - or anyone else that we know of, for that matter. When it comes to the Yule Ball, Snape is described to be wearing the same long, black, billowing cloak that he always wears - which suggests to me that he never even planned on attending in the first place. This might seem to suggest that Snape did not often chat or socialise with the other staff.

So, what about when Snape is chatting with his colleagues? One of the few occasions where Snape is explicitly mentioned to be chatting is his very first introduction in PS, and following Harry's Sorting, Snape is described as talking with Professor Quirrell over dinner.

However, it seems that Quirrell is not having a good time:

"No wonder he’s looking so nervous, that’s Professor Snape."

Yes, we see throughout the books that Snape can be intimidating, and a little rude, plus Quirrell appears (or is pretending) to be terrified of many things, so perhaps it hardly speaks to Snape's ability to hold a friendly conversation or to his general demeanour with the other staff - but it is also one of the few examples that we have. I like to hc that Snape's speaking in rather too much detail about something Dark Arts related, and Quirrell is quaking in his boots.

Quirrell himself also offers a little more insight into the staff's opinion of Snape. I'm speaking, of course, of the occasion when Snape decided to referee the Quidditch match, and Quirrell later tells Harry:

"Yes, Severus does seem the type [to try to kill a student], doesn’t he?" "All the other teachers thought Snape was trying to stop Gryffindor from winning, he did make himself unpopular."

The first quote might speak to how the other staff view Snape, or it might just be Quirrell's own opinion not shared by the others. Now, we could also argue that that second quote could suggest that Snape was popular in the first place and later became unpopular, or it's more a turn of phrase and some/all of the other professors readily believed Snape would go so far as to try to cheat in front of a massive crowd of students and his peers. Personally I assume it's probably the latter. As we've already seen, only a few years later all of the teachers also readily thought Snape capable of murdering Dumbledore in cold blood - and to get from one to the other, you can only assume that there were some baby steps along the way.

Snape could easily have explained to the other teachers why he was so keen to referee the match (i.e. Harry was potentially in danger) - but perhaps Dumbledore told Snape not to tell anyone else, as he is wont to do. This complicates the picture - but, at the very least, I think Snape could've come up with some excuse. He could reasonably have said something vague to the effect of "last time, a student was in danger", since he sprints towards students in danger as a general rule. He could've made this excuse even if he didn't want to wrongly insinuate he liked Harry, that he wanted to protect him, or that Harry was even in ongoing danger. Perhaps he did make up an excuse - in which case the other teachers perhaps didn't believe him, which also doesn't speak to there being much trust or warmth in those relationships. So, Snape either accidentally made himself unpopular (didn't realise; did it unintentionally) or he did it on purpose (did realise, did it intentionally) or didn't explain himself (didn't care either way, pehaps). Or, something I've just considered was that the other teachers didn't say anything to him personally, or he wasn't there to hear it, so he didn't know he was any more unpopular than usual. All of these interpretations suggest to me a distinct lack of care, regard, and closeness in the relationships in his place of work.

Even Trelawney is shown to have her closer moments with the other staff, despite being widely considered as a superstitious fraud, and a bit of an overdramatic liar. McGonagall has to actively stop herself from talking smack about a colleague in class in PoA after Harry's first divination lesson, and is rude enough to Trelawney during the PoA Christmas lunch that Dumbledore has to gently intervene. But, all of that aside, when Trelawney is almost kicked out of Hogwarts by Umbridge, it is McGonagall who first comforts her (of her own volition):

[McGonagall was] patting her firmly on the back while withdrawing a large handkerchief from within her robes. “There, there, Sibyll . . . Calm down. . . . Blow your nose on this. . . . It’s not as bad as you think, now. . . . You are not going to have to leave Hogwarts. . . .”

She then escorts Trelawney back to her room (on Dumbledore's orders). Sprout "came hurrying forward out of the crowd and grabbed Professor Trelawney’s other arm. Together they guided her past Umbridge and up the marble stairs", as Flitwick gathered her luggage to follow them.

But where is Snape? Well, Snape was there, in the crowd of people who'd gathered to see what all the fuss was about. He'd been with Harry when they heard Trelawney scream, and they went to see what was happening at about the same time. Yet again, he is the only Head of House and 'main character professor' not to show up and be involved - and we don't even hear about what he's doing. It's as though he's vanished amongst the crowd. Perhaps this is because he resents Trelawney or has some other complicated feelings about the Prophecy, or perhaps he doesn't like her outright, or perhaps he's too awkward to want to get involved - but whatever the reason, he is once again conspicuous by his absence.

There is also one other "behind the scenes" interaction with Snape that can be inferred: at some stage, he must have discussed the Duelling Club with Lockhart, revealing that he knew "a tiny bit" (read: probably a significant amount) about duelling - but that hardly counts, because nobody can escape a conversation with Lockhart, and it's quite clear that Snape doesn't like him.

It's actually also because of Lockhart that Snape does get one 'moment' with the other staff - and it is the moment where Snape 'coordinated' with the other professors to corner Lockhart in CoS:

But, really, the other teachers respecting Snape professionally (especially in contrast to Lockhart), and sharing a goal with him (to get Lockhart out of the way so that the adults can work in peace), doesn't necessarily make them friends, or mean that they get along in general - just like it didn't for Trelawney.

(Staff)room for one more?

The aforementioned Lockhart scene takes place in the staffroom in the books, so let's take a look at some more interactions that we see there. Just before the very same incident with Lockhart, we also get a brief glimpse of a very tense staffroom during CoS, as Harry and Ron have snuck inside around the time Ginny has been taken. As this passage is lacking in much detail, there's not too much to infer about staff relationships - but in my opinion we can still make the argument that Snape is slightly apart from the other professors, in more ways than one. First, he is decidedly less openly emotional than the others, revealing very little about how he feels, gripping the back of a chair and asking one rather pragmatic question:

Some of them were looking puzzled, others downright scared.

Professor Flitwick let out a squeal. Professor Sprout clapped her hands over her mouth. Snape gripped the back of a chair very hard and said, “How can you be sure?” “The Heir of Slytherin,” said Professor McGonagall, who was very white, “left another message. Right underneath the first one. ‘Her skeleton will lie in the Chamber forever.’” Professor Flitwick burst into tears. “Who is it?” said Madam Hooch, who had sunk, weak-kneed, into a chair. “Which student?”

We can also assume that Snape is one of the few who did not take a seat with the others, as I imagine it's difficult to grasp the back of a chair from a seated position and there is no mention of him rising to step forward:

“Who is it?” said Madam Hooch, who had sunk, weak-kneed, into a chair. “Which student?”The teachers rose and left, one by one.

Snape gripped the back of a chair very hard and said, “How can you be sure?” Snape stepped forward.

...subtly reinforcing his physical and emotional separation from the rest of the group, at a point at which he must have worked with them for over a decade. It may also be worth noting at this stage that Snape was at no point mentioned to be involved with the making of the Mandrake draught despite the fact that Snape very much thought he was going to be involved in the making of the Mandrake draught. Once again, he is not present in those discussions or mentions.

Keeping on the theme of the staffroom, the next time we see it in PoA, Snape is sat in there alone. He leaves when Lupin and the class enter, presumably since he doesn't like Lupin, he doesn't like Harry, and he has no interest in watching the class banish a Boggart. This tells us basically nothing, since we knew all of that already - but I do think it's relevant to this essay that Snape was comfortably sat there alone, apparently with no immediate plans to leave, and only left when others arrived.

It's not the only time it happens. Bouncing back to PS, Hermione is sent to hover outside the staffroom to ensure that Snape doesn't leave - but, when she gets there, Snape is already leaving:

‘Snape came out and asked me what I was doing, so I said I was waiting for Flitwick, and Snape went to get him, and I’ve only just got away. I don’t know where Snape went.’

A few things to note here. In this chapter, Snape hadn't long gone to the staffroom in the first place; he went only a few minutes beforehand, after a conversation with Harry. Snape and Flitwick were both in the staffroom when Hermione waited outside (having almost immediately followed him), but Snape was already on his way out - which was how he found Hermione. It's post-exams, there's possibly no more lessons, and he may even have some time to put up his feet. Snape also presumably has no more lessons to prepare for, with summer coming, and Flitwick certainly seemed to plan on staying in the staffroom if we judge the amount of time he was talking: Flitwick talked to Hermione for long enough that it took most of the time it took Harry and Ron to get up to the third floor from outside the castle (staircase obstacles presumably slowing them slightly), then get told off by McGonagall, and make their way to the Gryffindor common room in the tower, and Hermione then also has to make her way back from the staffroom up to Gryffindor tower, and Hermione "only just got away" before returning to the common room. We've not even reached a point in the books where Voldemort is back yet, so Snape has roughly the same number of demands on him as the other professors. Sure, he might've had something else to do, or he'd just left something in there and hadn't planned on staying - but in the very few glimpses we get of the staffroom, it's the not the only time Snape leaves when someone else is in there.

But there's one other thing I noticed which was a little different to the one other instance where we get a snippet of typical staffroom life. Snape "went to get" Flitwick, which perhaps suggests they were not sat closely, or together in conversation, which is fine since Snape was on his way out... but the next time Harry goes to the staffroom, and greets different professors, it's a very different story.

In OotP, Harry goes to the staffroom with Hedwig as her wing is injured. In contrast to Snape going and getting Flitwick and then leaving, McGonagall is close enough that Harry can hear her approach from the other side of the door, and Grubbly-Plank is close enough to her to overhear Harry speaking and join the conversation without even needing to be invited:

McGonagall and Grubbly-Plank seem to be hanging out together prior to this, with Grubbly-Plank smoking a pipe and holding a newspaper (so we can assume they might go there to relax, chat, etc, between or after lessons). Grubbly-Plank stands at McGonagall's shoulder (instead of leaving like Snape does), and they stay side-by-side, shoulder to shoulder, in the doorway until Grubbly-Plank has spoken to Harry and taken Hedwig. It's a much more friendly-feeling interaction. I can practically sense them commenting on the day's news before Harry even reaches the staffroom door, which is a rather different picture to Snape heading for the staffroom and almost immediately leaving it again despite seemingly having nowhere in particular to be.

The one other time we see Snape in the staffroom (in PS), Harry is attempting to get his book back, which Snape had earlier confiscated. Harry specifically went to the staffroom in the hopes that other teachers would be there:

Harry had an idea that Snape wouldn’t refuse if there were other teachers listening.

But other teachers are not there - there is only Filch, who is certainly a member of staff, though not a particularly well-respected one, even among the other teachers. For example, Hagrid calls Filch an "old git", and a "sneakin' Squib"; McGonagall calls him a "blithering idiot"; and Slughorn suggests he'll be reporting Filch for being more concerned with mess than security. I can't imagine the other staff are any more tender towards him - perhaps with the exception of Dumbledore.

I also think it's safe to say that this is not a social call. Snape's leg is "mangled". Maybe he went to the staffroom at that time in the evening either because it was closer than the infirmary or his own dungeon quarters, or because he didn't want to encounter any students, or because at that point in the evening it was likely to be empty, or for whatever reason he did not want to go to the Hospital Wing. I wouldn't even be surprised if Snape ran into Filch in the corridors in this scene, rather than intentionally meeting him there. I would also argue that this is not a typical representation of the staffroom, owing to the fact that this was the only year (that we know of) where a member of staff was bitten so badly by the security measures that his leg was still bloody and mangled about a week after the incident - yet he still refuses to engage with the other teaching staff to help him. (There is also no evidence that he went to the hospital wing in PoA for his head wound, because Fudge comments on it and later Snape storms away).

So, what does all of this suggest about Snape?

Okay, so perhaps I have to eat my own words. I started this section by arguing that he lives, works, and dines practically all year with the other staff, so there isn't much opportunity for those relationships to end even if they are strained, and there is much more opportunity for them to develop shared understanding (and, perhaps, even friendship) through time and proximity.

But I think I was wrong.

What little we see collectively indicates that Snape was not particularly close with his colleagues at all. Perhaps outside of his friendly rivalry with McGonagall, those small glimpses might seem to suggest that he had no particular relationship beyond the professional with the other teachers to speak of. In all the time he spent working with these people, in all of the examples of staff life we see scattered throughout the books, Snape is largely absent from the little 'moments' which might suggest they were on good terms, or even friends - and, as we already know, in the end the other staff only trusted Snape for as long as Dumbledore was alive to vouch for him.

We have no way of knowing whether that was an intentional choice he took to prepare himself for spying or whether it was the result of his sparkling personality alone. Regardless, the evidence (to me) suggests that Snape was not especially close with most of the other staff, long before he 'defected', killed Dumbledore, and supposedly returned to the Death Eaters.

With that in mind, it becomes worth asking how Snape navigates social environments - or, apparently, whether he navigates them at all. Aside from the day-to-day, where it seems that Snape does not spend significant amounts of time with his colleagues, nor does he share (m)any 'moments' with them, Snape also has a habit of going missing from major social events - at least when compared to the rest of the 'main' staff. In only six years he twice misses the Sorting Ceremony, and misses the practically once-in-a-lifetime Yule Ball. And yes, I'm well aware this is largely for plot reasons - but within the story itself, several times Snape really just ups and leaves some of the most important events in the school's calendar.

Outside of the 'main' staff who go on quests and errands (like Hagrid recruiting the giants, and Dumbledore's side quests in HBP), and lesser-featured staff like Trelawney (who rarely leaves her tower), Snape is one of the most prominent members of staff we see to miss any event despite literally being right there in the castle. Yes, McGonagall and Dumbledore miss a part of the welcome feast in CoS (thanks to Snape), but in CoS, Snape was the one who must have excused himself from dinner much sooner to search the grounds, and he may even have missed the majority of the ceremony before he found Harry and Ron. He only returns to the feast on Dumbledore's orders, just in time for dessert.

You might be thinking (like me) that finding a missing student is the sort of responsibility that ought to have fallen to the student's Head of House (looking at you, McGonagall). Granted, McGonagall is also deputy headmistress, and she often oversees the Sorting Ceremony, so perhaps she is otherwise occupied. However, McGonagall is also implied to miss the Sorting Ceremony altogether in PoA as she is with Harry and Hermione in her office, following Harry's first experience with a Dementor - and this year it's Flitwick who comes out of the hall carrying the Sorting Hat. As McGonagall clearly can leave the Sorting ceremony to check on her students' wellbeing, and she is directly responsible for Harry's wellbeing as Head of Gryffindor, and later in the series she is also a member of the Order and literally Dumbledore's right-hand woman, it did make me wonder why she wouldn't do so when Harry was late or absent in CoS and HBP. Even if she could not leave the Great Hall - say, if the Sorting had already begun by the time anyone noticed - then, logically, the task should fall to a member of staff who doesn't represent an entire House of their own and/or who is a trusted member of the Order - perhaps someone like Hagrid.

Snape again misses the Sorting to meet with Harry and Tonks in HBP, despite not being the only member of staff in the Order, or Harry's Head of House. Perhaps having read the above paragraph, Tonks actually sent the Patronus to find Hagrid on this occasion - but Hagrid was late for the feast (by a few minutes), which was why Snape took it. Hagrid is sat at McGonagall's side later in this chapter, so the Patronus would've presumably passed near her, too - but, again, she is not the one to come and find Harry. On this occasion, Snape once again misses not only the Sorting but practically the entire meal, arriving just in time for dessert. In fairness, by this time things are heating up with Draco, Voldemort, and Harry's whole destiny, so Snape may well have wanted to go personally (and throw a few insults at Harry and dock some points, of course. he's got to get his kicks somehow).

Perhaps it's just the case that Snape takes his responsibility to keep Harry alive very seriously - and I don't doubt this has something to do with it. And if it were just for the sake of needling or saving Harry, I might agree - but we see it again in GoF, where Snape skips the Yule Ball altogether, and it very much appears that he's just out in the gardens because a hobby of his is preventing teen pregnancy. Sure, Karkaroff has sought him out and is trailing around after him having conniptions, but Snape chose to leave the ball - inferred from the fact that Snape is, or at least is pretending to be, completely unbothered by the impending return of Voldemort. He has been avoiding Karkaroff for the entire book, so I think it very unlikely they agreed to meet out there and Snape decided to check for canoodling teens whilst he waited. Further to that, someone who enjoys parties who is also pretending to be unbothered by the return of Voldemort would attend the party and pretend to be unbothered there (sort of like Alan Rickman's portrayal of him standing on the edges and not dancing. ily alan). Attending the party would also have the added benefit that Karkaroff wouldn't as easily be able to corner Snape or speak to him so freely in a busy, noisy hall, especially if Snape was in conversation with someone else (or at least stood around other people). But Snape has chosen to avoid the ball - despite it making him an easier target for Karkaroff. Meanwhile, the other professors dance the night away: Dumbledore danced with Sprout; Ludo Bagman danced with McGonagall; "Moody" danced with Sinistra; and Madame Maxime and Hagrid danced and enjoyed a moonlit stroll.

Note: Something I also noticed when writing a later section of this meta [and mentioned above] is that Snape is described to be wearing the same long, black, billowing cloak that he always wears - which suggests to me that he never even planned on attending the Yule Ball in the first place, given that everyone else is dressed for the occasion.

Just as important as the social events that Snape skips are the ones that he doesn't. One of the few times we see Snape just hanging out at an event the whole time is at the Christmas dinner in PoA. Dumbledore, McGonagall, Snape, Sprout, Flitwick and Filch, plus a few first years, a disgruntled Slytherin 5th year, and Harry, Hermione, and Ron are in attendance. The primary focus of this scene is on Dumbledore's festive shenanigans, and McGonagall needling Trelawney for being something of a fraud. I think the people who seem to want to be there least are the unlucky two seated beside Trelawney (Snape and McGonagall; yet more evidence for their work 'friendship', because this isn't the first time we've seen it suggested that they sit together - though still with enough space between them for Dumbledore to conjure a chair there).

However, I'm not sure that this scene can be used to infer very much about Snape, as it's not a particularly detailed a scene as far as he's concerned. Tenuously I could argue that in contrast to the other 'main' staff who were there - that is, "main character" staff members like Dumbledore and McGonagall - Snape hardly even speaks. Snape's apparent silence here is sort of noteworthy, since McGonagall, Trelawney, Snape, and Dumbledore each get a fair share of lines throughout this book - but it is at the awkward Christmas party where you're allowed to rib your coworkers where Snape falls silent. Alone, we can't use it to infer much at all. Taken alongside his behaviour towards the other staff (or lack thereof), and I'm beginning to sense a pattern - Snape does not much enjoy social gatherings. When Snape is mentioned in this scene, he confirms he's made a potion (work-related discussion), reluctantly pulls a cracker when Dumbledore offers, is embarrassed and/or angered by the vulture hat that pops out (self-explanatory, given the Boggart), and his mouth only thins rather than showing any particular expression.

However, this meal is described as going on for about two hours, and we don't see most of it. Perhaps, then, Snape was making small talk with whoever he was seated with - my money would be on the Slytherin student, as Trelawney was forced to his other side instead of McGonagall. Still, the brief part of the meal we do see sets the scene for a meal where Dumbledore was the one playing gracious host and encouraging conversation whilst everyone else, perhaps obligated to be there, was just trying to get their food and go - and also gave me the impression that Snape is not particularly chatty at parties.

We also have no idea whether there are other staff in the castle who chose to take lunch in their own rooms (like Trelawney had planned) - in which case, Snape voluntarily went down to sit with everyone else, perhaps to sit with McGonagall or perhaps to keep his student company or perhaps because he's head of house and had to show, or even just because he wanted to. We also don't know whether most of the other staff, except Lupin, Sprout and Flitwick, have gone home for the winter holiday. Perhaps the heads of houses had to be there, since Flitwick and Sprout are there, too. Perhaps he stayed over Christmas to keep an eye on Harry, what with Lupin being present. We'll never know, but I think it's fun to speculate.

Now, there is one social event that Snape definitely attended, and where we see him engaging for more than a few vague lines: Slughorn's Christmas party. This is perhaps only truly social situation we see Snape in... and he is not having a good time. He is described as both "sulking" and "trapped", which rather sounds like he didn't want to be there - and I think that's worth lingering on for a moment, given everything else we've discussed so far, and especially his choice not to attend the Yule Ball. Much like at the PoA Christmas meal, he is also not implied to be chatting, drinking, or joking around with anyone. We can reasonably assume that Snape was not in conversation with anyone else prior to Slughorn 'scooping' him into conversation, because being accused of "sulking" implies a rather obvious sort of disengagement from everyone else at the party. Perhaps Snape was lurking on the edges, and probably his body language rather strongly suggested that he was uncomfortable, and/or that he did not want to be there, much less in conversation. Further, whilst Snape has presumably chosen to attend the party, he is also described as "trapped" and comes across as rather withdrawn - which is also kind of suggested and supported by the absence of 'moments' with the other staff. He doesn't reciprocate Slughorn's warmth or enthusiasm, and makes a rather poor attempt to respond at all. This is to be expected, as Slughorn's dragged him into a conversation praising Harry, but it also fits with how Snape is portrayed elsewhere in social situations: comments like "no wonder Quirrell's looking so nervous" when talking to Snape make the most sense if Snape's default behaviour when socialising is to look unhappy to be there, and not even attempt to hide it. I suspect if the Yule Ball is any indication, he would rather not be there at all (which does make me wonder why he attended). The only thing Snape seems genuinely interested in during this conversation is exactly the thing Harry would like to avoid Snape knowing about - "the source of [Harry's] newfound brilliance at Potions".

It's also perhaps worth noting that Slughorn - whilst famously rather too friendly and probably rather drunk at the time, so take this with a pinch of salt - must be reasonably comfortable with Snape to invite him, probably insist he attends, and physically scoop him into conversation. After Dumbledore's death, Slughorn is also described as being "the most shaken", and also the only person to suggest that he knew Snape, having taught him. I wonder if this might suggest that Snape was slightly more open as a child/teenager, whether they spent any extra time together when Snape experimented with his potions as a teen, or whether Snape was indeed a member of the Slug Club for a time, or whether it's just a case that Slughorn knew him as a child and never got the impression that Snape would turn out to be a murderer or a DE. I guess we'll never know.

Also, like - why did Snape attend that party? And why did he return after speaking to Draco if he didn't want to be there? And if he wasn't going to talk to anyone, and it wasn't compulsory for all staff, and Slughorn had plenty of other guests, what was even the point? Well, I personally think he went to that party for the same reason he went to the PoA Christmas lunch and to the Quidditch game to support his students and had a friendly rivalry with McGonagall - because he wanted to. Because as awkward as he can be, he does still seek out companionship, and value his friends and mentors, even if he's not very good at it. Alternatively, he has some very strict ideas about how to behave politely and properly, and he sticks to them as far as attending events is concerned, such as attending Christmas meal in PoA. But that wouldn't really line up with the Sorting or the Yule Ball.

Anyway, returning to Draco...

This is the same party that Draco was supposedly attempting to crash - but that aside, I think we can gather a little more about Snape's social behaviour from the interruption:

But almost before Harry had registered what he had seen, Filch had turned and shuffled away, muttering under his breath; Malfoy had composed his face into a smile and was thanking Slughorn for his generosity, and Snape’s face was smoothly inscrutable again. “It’s nothing, nothing,” said Slughorn, waving away Malfoy’s thanks. “I did know your grandfather, after all. . . .” “He always spoke very highly of you, sir,” said Malfoy quickly. “Said you were the best potion-maker he’d ever known. . . .” Harry stared at Malfoy. It was not the sucking-up that intrigued him; he had watched Malfoy do that to Snape for a long time. It was the fact that Malfoy did, after all, look a little ill. This was the first time he had seen Malfoy close up for ages; he now saw that Malfoy had dark shadows under his eyes and a distinctly grayish tinge to his skin. “I’d like a word with you, Draco,” said Snape suddenly. “Oh, now, Severus,” said Slughorn, hiccuping again, “it’s Christmas, don’t be too hard —” “I’m his Head of House, and I shall decide how hard, or otherwise, to be,” said Snape curtly. “Follow me, Draco.”

Despite Draco's faux pas being gracefully glossed over already, Snape wasn't done being awkward. Snape "suddenly" either interrupts to speak to Draco, or cuts in immediately following what was probably an exceptionally skilled ass-kissing, fine-tuned by years of experience in the brown-nose mine. Snape does this instead of leaning in to any social niceties at all, despite there being ample opportunity to have done so; Snape could easily have asked to borrow Draco (thus promising they'd both be back), or interrupted more subtly, or waited for a pause in the conversation to ask Draco to step aside. (idk, social niceties obviously aren't my strong suit - and that’s sort of the point. They clearly aren't Snape's, either.) Snape is obviously capable of being nice, cordial, and exercising (or pretending to exercise) social niceties when it suits him - think of his conversation with Bellatrix and Narcissa, or his conversation with Fudge at the end of PoA about the Order of Merlin. Anyway, Snape then drags Draco away despite Slughorn's protests, is short with Slughorn, and his manner of doing all of this is not smooth, calculated, or subtle in the slightest - especially in contrast to Draco, who is successfully in the middle of putting on his party face despite The Horrors.

Yes, Snape is probably in the middle of a crisis about whether or not Draco is about to get them both killed, and yes, potentially he's leveraging the fact it's a party and Draco can't defy him there without raising some eyebrows to finally get a chance to speak to him - but Draco probably won't manage to kill either one of them in the next ten minutes at Slughorn's party, which was presumably part of the reason Snape felt comfortable enough to attend in the first place - so there was room for some subtlety if Snape felt like it. This scene alone leads me away from thinking about Snape's behaviour through the lens of general lack of social drive and misanthropy, and towards the fact that when it comes down to it, I suspect Snape isn't really all that smooth in friendly social situations at all.

Conclusion

All in all, I think the evidence leans towards the idea that Snape is not particularly close with the other staff - that is, he perhaps seems to struggle with socialising or does not enjoy or prioritise it, so actively seeks out time alone (in the staffroom, during social events), avoids casual conversations, or finds tasks to complete rather than spending time with the other teachers at school events. In conversation, he is described and shown to behave in such a way that would suggest he is unpleasant or difficult to make conversation with. The other staff may engage with Snape for his professional skill, or to insult a common enemy, but they are at no point described as though they are friends. We can infer that he did not make much effort in terms of building trust or friendship between himself and the other teachers. Where the rest of the staff chat, gossip, dance, comfort one another, go out for drinks, and steal secret conversations, Snape is most often either absent or silent, and even McGonagall - who he was arguably closest to, with perhaps the exception of Slughorn - was quick to believe that was capable of killing Dumbledore, and admitted that she had always wondered. Now, that's not to say that Snape was universally disliked - only that he was always slightly apart from the others, and was probably not particularly close with anyone outside of his rather complex 'friendship' with Dumbledore.

This is a section from this meta, but as that one's a bit long and I really just wanted to reference this particular section for a different set of ramblings, I decided just to tweak it into its own post.

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