Okay, kiddos.

Bowser's harshest henchman, #1 Magikoopa, and overall the best mage in the Koopa Kingdom. His name is Kamek, and don't forget it. Ask blog for humanized Kamek from the Mario series. May be prone to hiatuses. Bear with me. Run by Selan.

[harshesthenchman]

...you do know that when bowser was first in the bean bean kingdom he lost his memory and this guy called popple made him believe that he was this guy's rookie?

Yes, I’ve heard. He’s on my list, too.

[harshesthenchman]

I think fawful suffered enough especially after the dark star thing that happened

Nope, sorry, you’re wrong. He can still stand to suffer WAY more than that.

Especially after he stuffed me in a cage with twenty other magikoopas.

[harshesthenchman]

So your still mad at fawful for the whole bowletta thing?

Obviously.

I’d be mad at Cackletta too, but, hah, she’s dead!

[harshesthenchman]

So you know fawful but the question is how did you two meet?

Look, the details aren’t important. What is important, is that kid’s gotta pay.

[harshesthenchman]

You nearsighted, farsighted or just no sighted?

I’m gonna go with that last one.

[harshesthenchman]

Was there anyone that you looked up to as a kid? Do you still look up to them now?

Most of my heroes' games have ended by now, what with them having been older than me. There’s quite a few I got to meet, actually, what with my position and all but... you know what they say. Never meet your heroes.

Now... the late King. His Highness’s father. I looked up to him. Still do, despite everything.

[harshesthenchman]

do you like the cronch

[harshesthenchman]

Have you ever practiced magic with Kammy? Or is she too crabby for your tastes?

I think most people our age are crabby to an extent. No, the problem with her is that she’s too pushy. Every spell’s got to be done her way, as though I haven’t been doing magic for decades already.

[harshesthenchman]

Sorry, what did you say your name was again? Kammy? Wait, no, that's someone else. Kamui? Kampbell? Kameo? No, none of those sound quite right. Oh, it's Kamera, right? That's got to be it! Well, maybe.

You need to get your head checked, kid.

[harshesthenchman]

What is the most difficult spell you've ever cast?

So, I tried some sort of super-ultra-waterproof eyeliner once that I couldn’t wipe off later for the life of me. Just would not come off. So I decided to look up a spell to do it and you’d be shocked how complicated the spells for removing makeup are! Like, I know us wizards aren’t exactly known for fashion, but you’d think someone would have thought up something simpler.

Something to put on the to-do list, I guess.

[harshesthenchman]

You scowl so much.... can you give us a smile for about 5 bucks?

I’ll take my payment in Beanbean currency.

[harshesthenchman]

If you could find another evil master, would you join them instead of Bowser?

What an insulting question. I’ve served the Koopa royal family since before his Highness was born, do you really think that I would leave now?

[harshesthenchman]

What if you cut your hair, then grew it back with magic? Or does magic not work like that? I wouldn't know, really.

That is the quickest way I know to end up with wicked split ends. Not worth it.

[harshesthenchman]

Sir, Kamek, listen, your hair IS very lovely, but if brushes are literally getting stuck in it, it might be time for a hair cut.

Can you imagine a wizard with short hair, though? It’s laughable. Who would take me seriously?

[harshesthenchman]

Brushie brushie

Look, the hair under my hat gets a little... well...... this isn’t the first brush I’ve gotten stuck in my hair and it won’t be the last.

Maybe next time someone tells you to keep your hands off, you should do it.

[harshesthenchman]

You have the soft hair..........

It’s beautiful, I know. Hands off.

[harshesthenchman]

This blog is already blessed

Yes, because I blessed it. 

You’re welcome.