I'm a Magical Girl, Suck My Dick

I am unfortunately not a Shoggoth. Anyways, welcome to my little corner. Here, I have art, shit I find funny, and well... whatever else I would like to put up here. I like to roleplay and draw stuff.

[thorffour-deactivated20190920]

[nbeenary]

[juan-the-gecko]

When women want to fuck monsters:

When men want to fuck monsters:

Conclusion: men are fucking cowards.

[tolkienteacher]

I laughed out loud in the middle of a staff meeting.

[aggro-kawaii-deactivated2022111]

I have yet to see a “not all men” and I’m surprised. 

[kaasknot]

via @trillgutterbug

[nassadii]

[stand-up-gifs]

[azany]

Speedpaint commission.

[retrogamingblog]

Pokemon Card Silhouette Displays made by bitsandbytescrafts

[neon-ufo]

A set of Fullmetal Alchemist stickers I’ll be selling at a con

Patreon  ★  Commissions

[bovivinator]

You know, I think what makes Papyrus and his boastfulness so endearing, despite egoism usually being a negative and unappealing character trait, is the fact that his self-confidence does not exist at the expense of others. He doesn’t build himself up by putting other people down; he thinks highly of everyone! He can consider himself great and admirable while still genuinely being impressed by the people around him and celebrating their accomplishments.

Papyrus understands that greatness is not a competition; it’s something everyone can win at! And even if he is the greatest, it’s only so that he can show everyone else how to recognize their own inherent value.

Papyrus believes in himself! Papyrus believes in me! Papyrus believes in you, too!

[hi-def-doritos-deactivated20181]

A while back I heard my friend (male) insult another dude by saying, “You look like the kind of guy who wouldn’t go to Wal-Mart to buy his girlfriend a box of tampons” and I still think about that crowning insult sometimes

[manasaysay]

My dad once called another guy “someone who thinks loading the dishwasher once in a while makes him less of a man”

[hi-def-doritos-deactivated20181]

I like your dad already

[charming-tothelast]

one time my dad’s boss was giving him shit for always leaving work early so he could get home and help my mom with me when i was a newborn and his boss said “i’ve never changed a diaper in my life” really proudly and my dad responded “i’d be ashamed to ever admit i was that worthless of a husband”

[hi-def-doritos-deactivated20181]

oh WOW

[hi-def-doritos-deactivated20181]

This is by far my most popular post.

[pervocracy]

Note to vacationing non-Americans: while it’s true that America doesn’t always have the best food culture, the food in our restaurants is really not representative of what most of us eat at home.  The portions at Cheesecake Factory or IHOP are meant to be indulgent, not just “what Americans are used to.”

If you eat at a regular American household, during a regular meal where they’re not going out of their way to impress guests, you probably will not be served twelve pounds of chocolate-covered cream cheese.  Please bear this in mind before writing yet another “omg I can’t believe American food” post.

[briarpatchfinn]

Also, most American restaurant portions are 100% intended as two meals’ worth of food. Some of my older Irish relatives still struggle with the idea that it’s not just not rude to eat half your meal and take the rest home, it’s expected. (Apparently this is somewhat of an American custom.)

[xenoqueer]

Until you’re hitting the “fancy restaurant” tier (the kind of place you go for a celebration or an anniversary date), a dinner out should generally also be lunch for the next day. Leftovers are very much the norm.

From the little time I’ve spent in Canada, this seems to be the case up there as well.

[jumpingjacktrash]

the portions in family restaurants (as opposed to haute cuisine types) are designed so that no one goes away hungry.

volume IS very much a part of the american hospitality tradition, and Nobody Leaves Hungry is important. but you have to recognize that it’s not how we cook for ourselves, it’s how we welcome guests and strengthen community ties.

so in order to give you a celebratory experience and make you feel welcomed, family restaurants make the portions big enough that even if you’re a teenage boy celebrating a hard win on the basketball court, you’re still going to be comfortably full when you leave.

of course, that means that for your average person with a sit-down job, who ate a decent lunch that day, it’s twice as much as they want or more. that’s ok. as mentioned above, taking home leftovers is absolutely encouraged. that, too, is part of american hospitality tradition; it’s meant to invoke fond memories of grandma loading you down with covered dishes so you can have hearty celebration food all week. pot luck church basement get-togethers where the whole town makes sure everybody has enough. that sort of thing. it’s about sharing. it’s about celebrating Plenty.

it’s not about pigging out until you get huge. treating it that way is pretty disrespectful of our culture. and you know, contrary to what the world thinks, we do have one.

[theunnamedstranger]

[daisyjazzridley]

And he goes, “What are you?”     Which is fucking rude.

[shouldnt]

I think I just peed my pants.

[unf0rgivingly]

For the love of god watch this until the end

[dope-ethiopian]

I saw my life flash before my eyes

[6qubed]

if you pause it at just the right moment you can see the guy who was holding the camera

[cool-dad-deactivated20240526-de]

the cinematographer of a generation

[theartfvldodger]

HOLY SHIT I ACTUALLY DOVE AWAY FROM MY PHONE

[beepolyen]

my favorite ghibli movie

[toastgull]

Reblog and you’re guaranteed to be successful at whatever you do next!

[dovewithscales]

Can’t hurt. Here’s hoping for an awesome birthday party.

[shitposting-hobbits-to-gallifrey]

Hey maybe I can get my homework done!

[chopinstan-deactivated20251119]

Fingers crossed on my piano performance tmrw!

[eternal-fractal]

I have no idea what I’m doing but I know I’ll fail

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

Rick Riordan finally snapped and released emails he sent to The Lightning Thief movie makers….

I can’t stop laughing

[captainsnoop-deactivated2020041]

i feel like people have forgotten what “NSFW” actually stands for after all these years

it stands for “not safe for work,” as in “material that could get you fired if your boss sees you looking at it at your place of employment” 

tagging things as “nsfw” is not something to be politicized, it is a courtesy to your fellow humans so that they do not get fired or socially ostracized for someone’s whole dick being out on their computer 

[lawfulgoodness]

Reblogging because I recently saw someone saying in their blog description that they didn’t post NSFW, but that they did reblog “tasteful or artistic nudity.”

Like…. No… That’s not how it works…..

[meatpower]

i think aging women and wrinkles not just on the face and blemishes and grey hair and everything that comes with age is really gorgeous and pretty and people need to stop being cowards. aging men are seen as handsome and mature but women arent even allowed to have smile lines

[kuradoodles]

if someone tells you that Superman’s secret identity disguise doesnt work just send them a picture of Griffin McElroy without his glasses

[busket]

eyelashes

[skellyscoo]

[kimmywithay]

what the fuck