The queen was no stranger to restless nights. There were times where she couldn’t rest and left the comfort of her husband’s arms to stand out on the balcony. And sometimes, she would catch glimpses of light within the mage’s tower, or she would be taking a walk and hear rustling within the library and the faint crackling of fire as it eats away at a candle.
However the pain that flickered across Viren’s gaze before he ducked his head down- it was one she remembered all too well.
“Viren. Even if you think it shouldn’t be my concern, I can see whatever is troubling you is… a sensitive topic. And while you may not wish to discuss it with me… Let me tell you a story.”
She took a deep breath as she folded her hands over one another as she turned her gaze towards the flickering flames that danced upon the torch that hung nearby. While she was sure he didn’t want to hear this story, perhaps it would bring him a bit of clarity.
“…Before becoming Queen, I was with Callum’s father… He loved us very much… but one day when he went to war… He never came back… And during my grieving… I failed to realize how much it affected those around me… especially when i kept it to myself.”
Sarai paused, she had to take in a shaky breath as the memories came back to her. She could feel tears begin to well up at the corners of her eyes, but she quickly wiped them away so she could continue her story.
“It does no one any good to suffer in silence… But it does help to let out those emotions in the company of those you trust. Just… think about it.”
The mage took a long breath while he still didn’t dared to look up, as if he feared his eyes, the mirror of his soul, would give his sorrow away, when the rest of his body already did. He kept silent which already said so much. He let his queen do all the talking instead.
Eagerly, he tried to listen, but just as Sarai had assumed, Viren didn’t really wanted to hear this story. It only let the pain in his chest grew greater. Not so much because of his own loss, but because of how he had to watch his dear friend suffer hers.
When tears were whipped away, he automatically reached out to comfort her, but stopped in the middle of the motion, clenched his hessitating hand to an fist and let if drop down again. A touch, or even a hug seemed to intimate and inappropriate for their different hierarchical positions. Also the last thing he wanted was for someone who happens to walk by to take an embrace between them, alone in the library, in the middle of the night, out of context.
“Actually - ”, Viren seemed to had found his voice again while he locked eyes with Sarai. “I try to not think about it at all. It’s tiresome and I rather would prefer to not feel a thing, if it would make it stop once and for all.”, he finally admitted, voice unexpectedly collected, wearing a mask again that hid his true emotions almost perfectly. He wouldn’t break down that easily. Therefore, he was too well skilled in containing himself by now.
titsay
yousharknotpass
turnnoffyourmind
theartofmadeline
romaincrisis
