Send “Slurred Words” to hear my muse describe yours whilst ridiculously drunk.
The mere mention of his name immediately has her frowning, but it isn’t as affected by irritation as it usually was whenever she dealt with him. “Sihyun?” she repeats, albeit a little tipsily, tone pensive. “I can never understand what’s going through his head; sometimes I wonder if he’s just making fun of me, honestly. He’s kind of like… Like… Like a stray dog you just took in? Because you know they’re capable of biting, you just don’t know when. Then… Does that make– Would that mean that he’ll treat you better once you earn his trust? I mean—” Heidi suddenly goes quiet, trying to make sense of her wandering thoughts before pursing her lips tightly. “But I really don’t like him.”
[ sms → Heidi Liu ]: it’s a secret! come and find out
the sun slowly warmed her skin as she leaned against the window, eyes glancing across the words on the page before her in an attempt to find some thread of inspiration. she was distracted, though, her gaze occasionally flitting to her phone and waiting for a response. the knock on the door had her almost leaping to attention, a warm smile bursting onto her face at the thought of the guest she was expecting. it’d been too long — cat hadn’t expected to miss someone so strongly while she’d been away, having only been on kaos for a couple of months, but life sometimes happened that way. “you’re finally here! that took ages, heidi!” she called out with exaggerated dismay as she strode quickly towards the door, throwing it open. “i’m never leaving you again.”
“You were the one that was gone for weeks, yet I’m the one that took ages?” She shot back playfully, breaking into laughter when she saw Cat behind the door. Her face crinkled. What a sight for sore eyes, indeed! Heidi felt her brows dampen, and her hand moved to wipe at it.
In her haste to get here, she had broken out into a jog along the way. That bit of exercise, combined with the hazy, warm temperature of summer slowly transitioning into autumn was sweat-inducing. But it was worth it, having seen such a welcome face in a long while. “Really? I’ll take your word for that then, never is such a heavy promise.” Her head shook a little but there was no hiding the smile that had wormed its way on her face.
Your father would say you were a bomb, ready to explode. Your mother thought differently; theirs was a girl who endured patiently, and acted only out of good intentions.
But they say the road to hell is paved with just that.
Do you remember the feeling you had when you first laid eyes on Maera?
You were well-adjusted to the streets of Athens by then, midway through your residency, and had seen your share of stray dogs. Nothing should be unusual about one or two walking about. However, something about the stray with the black, matted coat just begged for your attention. “It’s normal,” your companion had said, noticing how you stared at it. An unsaid longing to help... Out of what? Pity? Concern? The goodness of your heart? “You can’t save all of them, Heidi. Sure, maybe now you’ll say, ‘it’s just that dog’. But you get attached to one, you get attached to them all.”
Tearing your gaze away from the stray, you simply smiled at their advice. Shan was enough. You would convince yourself he was enough.
The odd white spot on its temple was more than enough for you to recognise it in an instant. It looked like a star. And over and over again, you looked the other way. Another stray dog. You couldn't possibly save them all even if you wanted to.
That was why rage filled your very being when you noticed what was unfolding in front of your eyes when you were on your way back to your apartment. Rage — at the group of kids for their actions, then at yourself. They couldn't have been older than sixteen. Every step you took was resolute, jaw clenched so tightly your teeth hurt. “What,” you spat out through gritted teeth, “do you think you’re doing?”
One glance at you had them scrambling. A tall figure looming in the dark of the night, haunted. The look in your eyes had never been so spiteful.
Though if anyone was the subject of your hatred, it would be yourself.
Perhaps if you had acted faster, the dog would never have suffered such a fate. It laid before you; bleeding, limp and helpless. Gingerly, you carried the stray, searching high and low for a veterinarian that was still open. It was strange. As you carefully held the dog, there was a strange sense of déjà vu. Nostalgic. Familiar. In its eyes, you saw an echo of a long-forgotten memory.
But who? Yourself? Someone else? Something else entirely?
You knew then, from the deepest depths of your heart, you had to take care of this child. Love her, protect her and maybe... Just maybe, she would come to protect you as well.
THREE.
The vice-principal stared you down as you sat quietly in the chair opposite him. Like a puzzle difficult to piece together, he studied you long and hard with a stressed look on his face. Then a sigh. “Heidi,” he finally uttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. The name rolled off his tongue effortlessly, but it still sounded foreign to you. Liu Jing -- how hard was it to pronounce without completely butchering it? It took a few seconds for you to register the new name, but you eventually looked up from your bruised knuckles.
“Am I... trouble?” Your voice was soft, but not timid and meek, having an almost resigned quality about it. You never learned how to punch so it had hurt you more than it hurt him. It still left him with a noticeable mark on his face, which would probably bruise up into something nasty. He could play the victim and people would eat it up. No matter what he had said to you -- about your parents or yourself -- you hit a boy much older than you and that was the truth of the situation.
Since you didn't have any outward reaction to their relentless teasing and constant snide remarks, they had moved on to your parents. Starting off with your father, then your mother followed. A split-second red. That was all it took.
Yet there was a lack of remorse for the actions you took out of frustration and anger. If you possessed any at all, it would be that you couldn’t think of the ramifications it would have on your parents.
“It’s only your first offence, so we called your parents. Your mother is on her way to pick you up. But if you think you’ll get away with anything else, you’re mistaken, young lady.”
In silence, you sat there with a blank stare.
Your father would say you were a bomb, ready to explode. Your mother thought differently; theirs was a girl who endured patiently and acted only out of good intentions.
But they say the road to hell is paved with just that.
(You have to let it all out eventually, Jing. Otherwise, it’ll rot in you.)
TWO.
You’ll soon learn some people say one thing yet do another. Like how ghosts aren’t real but there’s still fear in their eyes as they dismiss such talk. Your grandmother says respect is vital, to the living and the dead. She says, “We are living because of the dead and for that, we must show our gratefulness. To get along with our neighbours, there must be mutual understanding.” Your face contorts into one of confusion, your six-year-old brain struggling to understand her words. Grandmother laughs at your adorable expression.
“It means we must be patient and soften our hearts. Do you understand?” She strokes your hair. “You have to think for yourself someday. Determine the truth at your own pace because sometimes it’s just hidden.”
ONE.
.
.
.
Heidi, do you remember? When we were younger, the other kids would call us names. Witch was their favourite insult. You had cried then, but Heidi, here’s the thing,
Heidi, do you remember? When we were younger, the other kids would call us names. Witch was their favourite insult. You had cried then, but Heidi, here’s the thing ------ what if they were right?
[ sms → Heidi Liu ]: okay i’m sorry i disappeared off the face of the earth
[ sms → Heidi Liu ]: or kaos, at least
[ sms → Heidi Liu ]: but i’m back and i have presents!! come over soon? ❤️
[ ✉ → Cat Chang ] Fine, alright. Just tell me next time before you plan on going anywhere, I thought you actually left for good
[ ✉ → Cat Chang ] My meeting ends soonish, so maybe after that??
[ ✉ → Cat Chang ] What kind of present? 🤔
SEBASTIAN WAS EXCITED TO MEET THE PERSON WHO BID ON HIM, even if whatever came out of it didn’t go anywhere, he was always looking to meet new people and have new experiences. He tried to get to know as many people as he could on the island, as he was aware from past experiences that being away from family and friends was difficult, so it was important to have people wherever you went. As Heidi walked up to him, he shot her a grin and said, “Yeah, you can call me Bash if you want. It’s nice to meet you too, Heidi.”
“LET’S GO WITH Bash, then. It’s easier to remember.” Her smile grew less nervous as his grin remained constant. It was infectious, his energy, and she felt her body relax slightly. Heidi couldn’t remember the last time she went on a date with anybody ever since she buried herself in her work. Was it college? God, how long ago was that? “The auctioneer said you were an actor... Right?” The piece of information was thrown out there, in an attempt to break the ice. “I never thought I’d win a date with such a famous person,” she joked, albeit a little awkwardly. “So, which shows have you been on?”
Arlo: you ASKED for an example! i'm just giving you a taste of what i'm capable of. you want sensual? romantic? sweet? innocent? intense? assertive? i could go on
Arlo: don't ban me yet, i have so much potential :(
Heidi: Oh, fine. You get a get out of jail free card this time, don't abuse it.
Heidi: Innocent? On what occasion would you send an innocent sext to someone? "Accidentally"?
“Pleased to meet you.” Beau automatically greeted with an extended hand, before he could even process who had been introduced to him this time. The swimmer wasn’t making much of an effort to lay low this time around, a decision he was beginning to regret now that it seemed that his family friends (aka his father’s friends), who somehow always managed to reappear during events such as these, felt the need to introduce him to everyone and their mother. It wasn’t until he noticed the woman’s look of confusion that her identity finally clicked. “Oh, right. My apologies, I think we’ve actually crossed paths quite a few times before.” He stated coolly, hoping it would mask the the awkwardness he couldn’t help but feel in her presence. Eyes scanned over her form, “You look beautiful this evening.”
WHILE HER BRAIN WAS in overdrive, trying to recall where she had seen him from, the rest of her quickly recomposed herself. “Likewise,” she returned the greeting, her mouth running on autopilot as her eyes discreetly took in his figure. She was no stranger to these kind of events and had therefore gotten used to the usual dialogue she’d find herself repeating on countless occasions. “Oh,” she managed out at his reply, blinking. Then his features somehow registered in her mind as she caught a glimpse of one of the clinic staff. Aleka, dinner, Beau; right. The next “oh” she uttered sounded more concerned. For herself or for their company? Heidi herself didn’t know. “Thank you. You look... Quite dashing as well.” Her smile felt forced all of a sudden.
For a second, Sihyun thinks she’s going to make a scene. Maybe dump a drink on him or start hitting him with the bidding paddle, but she doesn’t. Bummer, he thinks. A scene sure would make the whole thing a lot more interesting. He watches as her eyes narrow, the words that follow making Sihyun chuckle. “You don’t have to, either. You can just get up and leave, there’s the door,” he says, pointing to it. If she leaves, he wins.
Heidi’s voice makes him turn his body fully to look at her, an eyebrow raised in disbelief. “250,” he says, turning to face the front again, not giving anyone else a chance to speak up. The auctioneer seems a bit shocked at the sudden increase in price but he doesn't understand the intense battle happening here.
SHE KNOWS the competition that they’re having right now is stupid but all the more reason to win it. There’s a tired sigh at his attempt to get her to leave, which was pathetically laughable. Heidi knows what kind of game he’s trying to play and it’s too bad she isn’t falling for it. When Sihyun raises the price, she takes it in stride -- it’s only to be expected. There are some curious eyes on them already but she raises her paddle again. “350 euros,” she offers coolly.
“OH, yes.” she nodded, looking a bit sheepish. “you should have seen me earlier tonight. I was pacing everywhere.” it felt kind of silly now, how nervous she was, although to be fair she was more or less thrown into this. “it was great though. I was lucky to have a friend win the date, and we had fun. tonight ended rather well.” her smile was wide now. “how did the bids go? I had missed parts of it because.. well, I was in the galleries.”
HEIDI STUDIED VERA carefully just in case. Occupational hazard, some would call it, but she had found it to be helpful at times. Judging it to be fine, she smiled both in relief and in response to Vera poking fun of herself. “Nerves are normal, especially if you don’t know what’s going to happen.” She canted her head to the side and squinted a little, laughing. “Although... I would have liked to seen that, you’re rarely that nervous over anything but I’m glad it turned out well for you.”
At the mention of the bidding process, the smile on her face contorted into a grimace. Like she’d want to recall that ever happened. “It was... It went fine, you could say. A few bidding wars broke out but it’s good.”
“NO, I suppose not,” she shook her head with a small laugh. “they are looking out for us, after all. she’s always telling me stories of her and papa. I think she just wants me to find someone I can share a home with.” her own words, said aloud, seemed to put her at a bit of unease. the smile on her face didn’t falter, it was her eyes that looked away. “I’m glad you had fun, though. I doubt I’ll be joining one of these anytime soon. not that I had such a terrible night.”
IT’S NOT SO MUCH COINCIDENCE as it was chance, to be going through similar experiences. She had had her fair share of pent-up frustration towards her mother but knew Vera probably struggled a little at expressing her own. However, Heidi chose not to press. At least not now, not here, where you didn’t know if someone was listening in. Allowing the girl some room to breathe, she simply nodded in response. “Was it nerve-wracking not knowing who you’d be paired up with? Oh, and how did your date go? Did it go well? Please tell me it did.”
WORK NEVER REALLY STOPPED just because she was at an event, channelling her energy into introducing their clinic to potential clients instead of listening and writing. There wasn’t much of a difference, Heidi supposed as she shook hands with an old man. “...and this is Beau Marin,” he introduced, stepping aside to reveal a younger figure. She smiled politely and moved to shake hands with him when she’s struck by the deja vu of the whole situation. Her hand paused, hanging in the air, as bemusement took over her features. “Haven’t we met before?”
“Of course, I care about all dogs,” he says, and he means it but his tone is still a sarcastic one just because he’s really trying to push her buttons just to have some form of entertainment at this auction that isn’t watching ugly men strike out with pretty women. “Sweet of you to worry about me. But worry not, I’ve got lots of eyes on me tonight, I can assure you of that.” A smug smirk decorates his face.
As soon as she lowers her paddle, Sihyun raises his. The two people seated in between them seem to sense the tension and they get up, shoot Sihyun glares which he returns with a faux sweet smile. “Look at what you did now, even the elderly have to get up and get away from you, Heidi.”
HER HEAD FINALLY TURNS. He’s got her attention and in the back of her mind, Heidi’s not sure if that was the wisest thing to do. But forget wise, she has the strongest urge to slap the smirk right off his face right now. Eyes narrowing, she considers it seriously then thinks better of it. Any effort she exerted would only be wasted on him. “Pity.” Heidi tries not to sound icy this time, “They’re much better off now that they don’t have to put up with you.” Unlike me.
Amidst their bickering, the bidding for mystery date number three was still going strong. And Heidi, determined to win over the brat, raises her paddle again. “200 euros,” she bids, voice loud enough for the whole room to hear. From 30 to 200, Sihyun could probably handle it.
HER gaze wandered over the gallery. “the museum is beautiful, especially during this time.” at the accusation, her face tinted red. “I didn’t know I was. not until the last minute either.” she tucked a stray hair behind her ear, a nervous tick, and took a sip from her glass. “it seems to be one of my mother’s many plans to get me on a date.” a sigh. “were you bidding?” her attention perked up. “well, now I wish I could’ve told you sooner. did you have fun?”
SHE HUMMED IN AGREEMENT, lips leaving her glass. Even in a state such as this, Heidi wasn’t blind to the beauty the museum held. Where history existed in echoes of their former glory. Her gaze flickered to the marble sculpture she had been staring at before, then back to Vera. She grinned. “I hear you -- my mother’s been at it for a while too. I don’t blame her, though.” Another short sip, and a giggle escaped. “Yeah, see, I told you. You completely missed a great date opportunity but it was okay, I guess. He’s a little too young but he was cute. I guess,” she added, nose wrinkling.
