i s e e f i r e

  if this is to end in fire then we should all burn together watch the flames climb high into the night  

[oned-irec-tio-n]

[botticellion-deactivated2020102]

[havcnflames]

glad you came // haven & inigo

[inigoarmistead]

“Because I didn’t want you to know the real reason,” Inigo said, his voice quiet as a whisper. “It was a clear choice. I’d rather you hate me because you think I’m shallow rather than knowing that I forced you to fall in love with me because I’m selfish.” There was no question which one was worse than the other, which one was more unethical and more selfish. Inigo had wanted Haven, had been spurred by that rush of pride and anger at being rejected for the first time in his life and a terrible need - he’d wanted Haven for himself and he took his free will. Looking back, it was undeniably terrible, but he’d wanted Haven’s love so much - could someone truly fault him for that? 

His eyes had been trained on his hands in his lap, but the shift in Haven’s tone and seeing him move slightly closer in his periphery made Inigo look up and meet the other man’s eyes. He was so tired. He’d never talked about his feelings for so long, especially with someone he thought he’d never see again. But Haven’s movement prompted the slightest tug of hope that maybe, finally, the other man was hearing what Inigo was saying.

But Haven’s words made him take pause, and Inigo watched him with parted lips, not only in reaction to Haven’s earnestness and his gentle tone, but because he hadn’t actually considered that any part of Haven’s attraction to him might have been genuine. It couldn’t have been. It… wasn’t possible.

Perhaps this was why Inigo had lied to Haven initially. This doubt.

“No… I didn’t think about that,” he admitted, gripping his hands tight, eyes feeling raw and red as he watched Haven. “But you still love with me, that’s something you say when you’re in love. If I knew how to take this spell off you, you wouldn’t be saying it anymore.” Inigo stared at the other man imploringly, and said, “Those are the things that I thought of when we were together. I didn’t wonder if it was all genuine or not - I was sure it wasn’t. How can I believe you when you say it was real? How can you believe yourself?”

[havcnflames]

“I don’t know why you would think either would be better, Inigo. You should have just told me the truth, and the rest would have worked out on it’s own. It’s because of your ‘choices’ that you got yourself into a mess in the first place, and your ‘choices’ that ended up hurting us both. I get it, I get you didn’t want me to think of you as selfish, or whatever. But what about how I felt? I’m no victim, but you should have just talked to me -- told me what you were feeling and I would have helped you fix it,” Haven argued, but with the same soft tone, yet a small spark of hidden aggression because why did Inigo think he knew what the best was for both of them? Had it been Haven? He wouldn’t have chose either of those, and he would have gotten through things with Inigo. “Because in the end I never would have hated you. I loved you. I love you,” Haven supplied, getting his point across that he still felt these things, and they were very real. He was convinced that despite what Inigo thought he did, it had worn off, and real feelings were left bubbling at the surface. 

Haven eventually turned to Inigo completely, listening to the words he spoke and so far, Haven completely disagreed. Haven shook his head, his jaw clenching as he heard Inigo make accusation of what Haven feels  -- again. How would he ever know how it feels? “I’m not under any fucking spell, Inigo. Stop saying that,” Haven snapped, his fists balling almost involuntarily because he was so focused on the words Inigo shouldn’t have said, “how can you tell me what I feel? Yes! You may have put some kind of voodoo shit on me at first, that’s your bad -- I get it. But had it not crossed your fucking mind that it’d wear off? That I’m not just doing it because I was enchanted to? Inigo,” Haven began, and threw part of his self control out the window.

He scooted closer to Inigo to where their legs touched, and held the other man’s hands in between his own, looking into his eyes, figuring he could get through to him better that way, “think about who we have inside of us. Aphrodite, and Hephaestus. Have you never not once looked them up, just to see what kind of relationship they may have had? I knew I was meant to be with you from day one -- I used to fight it. Because I wasn’t gay, and I knew I wasn’t into guys, but I couldn’t explain what it was about you. Not to myself, and I didn’t want to. But I found myself drawn to you. I remember thinking ‘look at this little sophomore, walking around like he owned the place’, and you didn’t even know me, but now that I know what it is, it felt like I had been in love with you for centuries. This was before we even met, so you can’t tell me that your freaky powers did that to me too. So tell me again that my feelings for you aren’t real, and never was. I dare you.” 

[march25ths]

[realzaddy-deactivated20150810]

[shahnazjan-blog-blog]

sleep no more (Shahnaz + Haven)

[shahnazjan-blog-blog]

Babe. That made her bite her lip to keep herself from smiling too hard into the dark. She – well, Athena mostly, but Shahnaz had hardly been a passive bystander – had punched Oliver in the face for using that word with her. With Haven, though, “babe” made a warmth spread from her chest through the tips of her fingers.

“I suppose it does figure,” she answered with a little smile and a tiny tilt of her head that Haven would not see.

When he asked about her parents, Shahnaz’s first instinct was to say a few brusque words and drop the point. Even Kyle – her best friend, Athena’s father – had never really asked for the whole story and she had been content never to give it. Personal details could be perceived as weakness, she had concluded long ago at bootcamp. But Haven…Haven was genuinely curious and, no matter how many split second calculations Shahnaz did, she could find no ulterior motive for his question other than affection for her. So she rubbed the side of her nose, took a deep breath, and spoke into the dark of her room.

“They’re probably still in Maryland,” she answered, her voice soft but controlled. “Mom might have bought that house she always wanted with a screen porch when Dad retired from Marine Command, though they cut his pension when he was demoted to captain after 9-11.”

She paused and gave a bitter little snort. “‘Overly emotional involvement,’ they said. As if they can’t tell the son of a Iranian ex-pat from an Afghanistan-based member of Al-Qaeda. We don’t even speak the same fucking language.”

She trailed off, thinking about the Farsi her grandmother had taught her, about where her parents were now.

[havcnflames]

“I thought pension was only for retired veterans. I don’t know, the military system is confusing, but go on,” Haven chimed in, once hearing her tone somehow found a place for the browns in the stars, and as odd as the color would sound being placed in the night sky amongst beaming balls of twinkling heat, it fit, and he was on a roll, and somehow, some way, her voice was creating more of a muse for him. She should seriously get paid by him as much as he uses her for his own artistic advantage. 

“I honestly am listening to you, Shahnaz, but English, please,” Haven asked, a chuckle following after his words just to show he meant no harm. He just didn’t understand what exactly was going on with her -- with her past anyway. “Also, why did your dad retire? How did you even get involved in the military?”

[havcnflames]

Up In Flames // Haven & Oliver

[aresincarnated]

The sudden frown on Haven’s face brought Oliver an undeniable satisfaction. His apparent shock over Inigo’s new-found relationship status was yet the icing on the cake - Oli briefly wondered if he was jealous. 

“Yes…twice. Inigo is my boyfriend. As in, we’re dating.” He said it with surprisingly little mockery, Oliver really believed that Haven was honestly going over it in his head. What a shocker, you tried to murder your ex-fiance’s new boyfriend, and you find this out in the midst of a fucking carnival. “Mhm.” He agreed. It was a little strange, looking at Haven and his hands and his arms and his fucking mouth, imagining them all over Inigo and what they’d done, and suddenly Oli realized that this was the equivalent of swallowing fire.

“How’s it going, huh.” He paused, running shaky hands through his hair. “It’s good. Happy as can be. He just moved in last month.” Oli was lying through his teeth, but he believed in the power of a good poker face. “Did you meet his mother? Superb woman. Cooks like a queen.” He flashed an arrogant grin.

He shrugged. “Oh, you know. Awhile…year or two, maybe.”

[havcnflames]

Haven tried so hard, he honestly did, but before Hephaestus slipped from his conscious completely, he had to make his obvious distaste for the other known. Haven wasn’t the happiest about the words coming out of Oliver’s mouth, but Hephaestus couldn’t stand it. “That’s,” Haven began through his teeth, creating a smile that was quite obviously fake, “that’s really nice,” Haven finished, his facade seemingly not convincing considering the light pole they passed just combusted as soon as Haven glided passed it, sending it up into flames. Didn't they promise each other no more aimless hostility? It wasn't kept. 

Maybe Haven shouldn't have tried to piss off the God of War, but shit, he didn’t expect to feel so, irritated -- angry even. He composed himself though, with a whole lot of internal will, and promises to himself that he had gotten over Inigo, which probably isn’t the case. Haven was about to blow -- how long were they even together? He wondered. It took ages for him to coax Inigo to move in with him back then, so all it took was a smug smirk, and a look into those annoyingly amazing green eyes of Oliver’s and what? Inigo just willingly hopped on the bandwagon? And he met his mother? Haven didn’t even get to meet her. Back when Haven and Inigo was together, Inigo wasn’t even on speaking terms with his mother- Wait. “Met his mother? He hasn’t spoken to that lady since he was sixteen. Unless, magically their relationship mended, but I highly doubt that. You've got some explaining to do, pal,” Haven said, raising a brow at the other male. A small smirk rose on Haven’s face, realizing Oliver was only talking out his ass to get a rise out of him. Haven couldn’t play nice anymore. And to think Haven is usually the chillest person you would ever meet -- not while Oliver was around. He apparently had a persona, derived from Hephaestus that he couldn’t beat. Even when Hephaestus wasn’t around, or maybe it was pure jealousy. 

Haven stopped right in the middle of their endless strolling, and raised an eyebrow at Oliver. “I don’t know if you realize this, but I don’t really give a fuck,” Liar, “What’s the purpose of you oh so politely telling me about this shit? I’m over him -- adopt a kid with him. Put a damn ring on his finger if you’re so in love. Why the fuck do I have to hear about it?” Oliver made him feel unnecessary rage, and he’s pretty sure he’s going to die at thirty from the rising blood pressure. Haven just wanted to go home and paint, man. 

[havcnflames]

past para // not-so-nice to meet you | inigo & haven

It wasn’t his study hall, but without a care in the world, Haven skipped this period just to finish the painting he had started in Art yesterday. Art was his favorite class for several obvious reasons, but mostly because of the fact that the other kids in his class ( with the exception of a few ) didn’t take it seriously, and neither did the teacher so it was mostly up to him to decide what he wanted to do. Sometimes, he’d link up with Destiny in this period and coordinate paintings with her to have some kind of structure going on -- and she was amazing at painting as well, better than he was at least ( his strong suit was drawing with plain ole’ lead ). 

Point is, he is no longer doing that anymore because after months and months of sharing the same class without any real signs of curriculum or arrangement, some things lead to another, and somehow they ended up together. I mean why not? She was beautiful, with the curliest hair he had ever seen and a nice caramel tone to her skin. Not to mention her ass was the perfect size -- big, but not too big, and her face was definitely easy on the eyes. She was possessive though, and Haven could not do possessive, no matter how pure her intentions were. Following this revelation, she was fucking crazy, and would get upset with him for the simplest things. He couldn’t deal with that, and it’s even worse that she hid these traits under a lot of excellent ones. 

They broke up, and he no longer had a buddy in art because of how much she hated his guts at this point -- couldn’t step foot in the same class as her at all to make matters worse. She was a lunatic hiding behind a gentle face. These women out here is deceitful now’a’days. He also wasn’t going to get hit by some flying paint palette because she didn’t feel like staring at his “little smug face” anymore. So, he opted this period ( which again was not his study hall ) to paint for his own recreation. 

The classroom he spent a lot of his time in was empty, and was toward the back of the school, and no one rarely came back here other than the janitor sometimes to either take the trash out or turn off the lights because he thought no one was in here. He remembered a music class occupying it once, maybe when he was a freshman, but now it was barely even a storage closet. It didn’t exist, so he put use to it. It had a great view of outside due to the canvas windows he often sat next to with his easel, and it seemed to be soundproof, meaning the sound of rambunctious and obnoxious teens often can’t be heard, to his pleasure, but for once in the long time he’d been coming here, someone had found his hideout. Damn. 

Glancing over to the door as it creaked under the stress of being opened, he waited for the person who was entering to appear, almost positive it was Mr.Matthews and his sole purpose of bothering Haven until the moment he graduated from this torture chamber called school, he was close enough anyway, being a senior. “Listen, I’m not going to Chemistry so you might as well save the extra shit and call my Aunt now-” Well, at least it wasn’t Mr.Matthews.  

[zainsflatass]

Zayn  at Valentino Spring/Summer 2016 UOMO Paris Fashion Show - 6/24

[zaynmalikdaily]

[zouiem]

Zayn at the Valentino Spring/Summer 2016

[shahnazjan-blog-blog]

sleep no more (Shahnaz + Haven)

[shahnazjan-blog-blog]

Haven’s voice shifted to a tinny echo – speaker phone. She heard movement; someone sitting, or perhaps picking something up near the phone. Oh, she realized silently, a warm feeling spreading through her chest. You’ve been up sketching or painting, haven’t you? It made her smile, to think of him doing something as classic – romantic, even – as painting the night sky.

Had she been emotionally close to Athena? “I - yes. As strange as that sounds.” Shahnaz smiled a little to herself, and added softly, “She could talk about Faulkner for even longer than I could.”

Shahnaz had never considered their relationship in terms of “closeness”; it was like asking someone if they were close to another part of themselves. Now that the goddess had vanished, however, Shahnaz realized that Athena had been perhaps her only stable relationship since leaving the Naval Academy. Whether that was frightening, depressing, or some combination of the two, Shahnaz didn’t know and did not care to figure out.

“‘Before’ was so long ago it’d be hard to remember even without the intervention of a divine being,” she continued, sitting up from where she had lain on her back. Her forearms came to rest on her knees, and the white sheets puddled around her feet. “I was with my parents, mostly. Because we moved so much. Dad was the one who would come in late from his business trips sometimes and sit by the side of my bed when I couldn’t sleep, give me impossible problems to solve as a kind of antidote to the fact that I’ve always thought too much for my own good.”

[havcnflames]

“It’s not strange, babe -- I just don't do it,” he reasoned, still mixing and spreading whirling colors across thick material, “Faulkner, huh? You’re into reading? Figured. You and Athena are a lot alike, aren’t you?” Of course they are, and Haven knew that. When Shahnaz had given him the paper with her number and ‘Athena’ scribbled across it, he knew that’s who lived inside her. He took it upon himself to look up the goddess, and found out a lot of things about her. Including some personality traits which Shahnaz happened to have in common with her deity he'd noticed from the two dates they've been on. Shahnaz was a real catch -- Intelligent, beautiful, sweet. So was Athena. 

Haven listened carefully to the other, even giving her his attention with his body language, even though she couldn’t see it. Asking a question, he furrowed his brows, simultaneously dipping his brush into a light brown colors, waiting for Shahnaz to answer before he even touched the canvas, “what happened to them?” It came out quick, and like an over curious toddler would speak, but Shahnaz seemed like the type that didn’t share, and he very much wanted to know about her, and her life -- what she’s been through. He felt like figuring her out would be like an impossible puzzle, though. She seemed more complicated than she looked -- and when you get passed her majestic beauty, she’s a pretty tough nut. Impossible puzzle indeed. 

[lupitalover]

[paperandinklings]

[worldofwritings]

[persephonesver-blog]

LET IT BURN; haven & clara

[persephonesver-blog]

Clara looked at Haven long and hard when he spoke, and as much as they hated to admit it - he did have a point. In their own twisted and fucked up way, the mortals thought they were defending themselves. Even the mortals who had no knowledge of Greek Gods and their past lives - they knew that they were powerful and could very well destroy everything they held near and dear. In some ways Clara could empathize with them - they had felt that way about Bernard for all those years. That he had the ability to destroy their whole world if they tried to run away and get back home. “I know you don’t,” they murmured as they squeezed Haven’s shoulder in comfort. “But that doesn’t mean you should also sit back and let them dictate your life and the lives of your friends. Of your family.” 

As Haven asked them what they would do however, Clara gave it some thought. True, they didn’t exactly want to kill the mortals right off the bat. Not unless they tried to kill them first. “We could always give them a warning. We could let the mortals know that we shouldn’t be messed with unless they want to suffer some serious fucking consequences. You could throw a ball of fire so it goes right past their head and let them know you missed on purpose and I’ll wrap vines tightly around their torsos and let them know I can easily squeeze the life out them,” they said, eyes distant as they rambled. 

“We just need to show them we mean business and shouldn’t be fucked with. We don’t have to kill them.”

[havcnflames]

Haven laughed quite loudly at the family part of her spiel, unless she meant her, he had nothing even close to a family. “You mean my aunt and uncle? I literally saw Muhammad leading a protest himself, C. You know I hate him, and my aunt couldn’t be anymore stuck up his ass, and would never come out. Even if she needed oxygen. So, family? Unless you mean you, I have absolutely nothing to lose. Except maybe my cousin. He never did anything to me,” Haven reasoned, looking down at Clara with a bit of somber. His life was pitiful if you were on the outside looking in, but Haven never really showed it. 

Haven listened intently to the other, and he liked what he heard. She was right, they didn’t have to kill them. Just whirl a few threats, make them shake in their boots a bit. He was down. “True -- that’s why you’re the smart one. I’m just logical. Had I not been here to talk you out of it, you would have went out with your voodoo and got to planting trees, and shit. Tsk,” Haven joked, a laugh emitting from his mouth, but left quickly as he was still unsure of their next actions. “So, what do we do now?”

[zayngallery]