I don’t know what the future holds for me. I don’t know what it’ll take. I’m scared, and I’m full of doubts — that’s what I know. But what I also know is that You have not let go of me yet. You still have me in Your mind, God. I have not lost Your grasp on me.
My heart and my soul are crying with no tears because I don’t know where to turn to. But I know it’s my fault for losing my way. You have come through again and again and again and again and again, trying to get through to me, piercing my heart until You reached me.
God, thank You for not giving up on me. Thank You that You have not allowed me to give up on myself. I admit that I am susceptible to feeling a lot, like, a lot, but thank You that despite that, You have not allowed me to be so far away from You.
God, I’m scared. I truly am. This world is so scary. I still remember what the guy at my first job told me the first time I worked out of the country: “You’re not ready for the world yet.” Then when would I be? Am I ready now? I’ve realised that we have never really been ready — we’ve just been good at carrying it.
That’s why, God, I’ve decided that whenever I go back to my words of working together with You, I pray that You may help me remember what I promised and what You have promised:
That You will always, always be with me.
That You will never leave me nor forsake me.(Hebrews 13:5)