𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚊 𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕

chrissy cunningham “Being lost isn't the same as being nowhere. Being lost is worse because there's the false hope that you might be found.”

[hawkinschrissy]

𝚌𝚑𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚢 𝚌𝚞𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚑𝚊𝚖 - penned and cared for by luna, est, she/her

-- [introduction] -- [tags] -- [headcanons] -- [connections]

[wclkmans]

𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫 — 𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐲 𝐜𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐚𝐦 / @hawkinschrissy​

     nancy never frequented starcourt too much, not even before the rebuild when it had opened the first time. instead, she was loyal to main street and the small shops around hawkins. sure, she accepted an outfit or two that karen might’ve purchased from the mall, but that didn’t mean nancy spent her time there. however, she still found herself roaming the shops in starcourt because unlike downtown hawkins, starcourt had a shop dedicated entirely to halloween and halloween costumes. usually one to use her own closet to decide, nancy had now become desperate for ideas.

     ❝ do you think this one looks nice ? ❞ she wondered, asking the person who had just stood next to her without seeing who it was. ❝ chrissy, hi. ❞ nancy nodded before looking back down at the costume she held up. ❝ do you think it’s too on the nose ? ❞ velma, scooby-doo. maybe just a little.

[hawkinschrissy]

if chrissy was being realistic with herself, she didn’t want to celebrate halloween conventionally this year. if there was any chance of getting a life back, she wanted to bring back old traditions and one of those was definitely costume shopping. the angel costume from the fair still hung in her closet but she walked the aisles of the shops anyway, hoping that inspiration might strike her. chrissy’s finger looped around a blue cinderella type gown while her eyes glanced up at the person just beside her.

“oh, hi nancy.” she said with a small smile, her hands leaving the costume as she moved to stand just behind nancy. there was always this part of chrissy that found herself intimidated by nancy wheeler but she did her best not to let it show. “if you’re asking me honestly, then maybe a tiny bit but I don’t think that’s necessarily a negative? I think you’d look great and it’s more creative than most people tend to get. ghosts and witches and everything.”

[hawkinschrissy]

upsidedownism​:

“neither did i,” he chuckles, petting the top of the goat’s head. another bleat. he has to laugh. “i decided that being the p.e. teacher and coach wasn’t enough. the school needed someone to help with the ffa and decided to just go for it,” he shrugs. jason needed things to do with his time, otherwise he would have just been home thinking too much and that lead to no where good. but he was glad that chrissy was here, even if it was just friendly. when she asks if he’s been having fun he nods. “i actually have. it’s been kind of great gently guiding some of these kids petting the goats. it teaches them boundaries when a goat decides to run away.” he laughs, “have you?”

“well I think it’s very sweet of you.” chrissy wouldn’t voice it but seeing jason in this setting, doing something completely innocent -- well, it made her think of old times. happier times. “you always were good with kids.” she trails off then, biting her tongue because the sentence really had more meaning than she intended. chrissy takes a few steps closer and adjusts her halo so it doesn’t hit jason in the eye by accident. “if you count having far too many cups of apple cider and watching pumpkin craving, fun then definitely. even if it does still feel strange to be having fun these days.” 

[weusedtobegiants]

She looked at me. She said, ‘You’re no daughter of mine.’ It hardly mattered. It was too late for lines like that now. I had a language of my own and it wasn’t hers.

Jeanette Winterson, from Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal

[hawkinschrissy]

wclkmans​:

     monnie just nodded silently, not wanting to pry anymore into the things chrissy was upset about. it was too soon to know anyway. ❝ you know… even if we aren’t, then we will be after tonight. ❞ it was simply just another thing to shove deep down and forget about, putting it near patrick. ❝ god, chris. you won’t be on your own and you know it, please. you’re so cute thinking you won’t have a million people helping out. ❞ chrissy was hawkin’s sweetheart in monnie’s eyes. she could do no wrong, and if she did, it was with monnie in the safety of her home with a big bottle of wine. ❝ if jason can persuade me to help clean up main street, you could get me to build you an entirely new melvalds with just my hands. ❞

“we just start over again. we always do.” hawkins was resilient, at least from the outside looking in and they’d just reset, hide from it and hope it was the last time. “you never know, I don’t want to expect anything.” monnie was right, she had that way about her but chrissy felt that loneliness sometimes. it was no one’s fault and it just persisted out her control. “it would be a little fun to see you with power tools though, I won’t lie.” she chuckled under her breath, leaning her head back on the couch. “I guess it’s just hard to move on or change what’s been the most consistent in my life lately.”

[hawkinschrissy]

lucsinclairs​:

lucas nods. “you too. your family and your - everyone, they okay?”

he’s trying to bridge the awkwardness, trying to find a middle ground that says he understands. that he’s sorry things happened the way they did. that he’s there now, if she needs someone to talk through it all. the problem is, he can’t quite find the words.

“as okay as people can be, really.” chrissy didn’t actually know how her blood related family was doing but for all it mattered, her real family was safe. it was odd with lucas, odd with jason, odd with all of them who had been involved but chrissy cared, she really did. “I -- well, I know it hasn’t been easy but we keep getting chances. that has to mean something.”

[upsidedownism]

@hawkinschrissy​

jason was nearly done with his shift at the petting zoo, and when he looked up he saw an angel, which was quite literally, chrissy. her costume seemed all too fitting. he smiles up at her, giving one last little pet to the goat and watched the happy little kid start to bounce away. “i get off in a couple minutes, care to pet one of the goats while i do?” they just put the sweaters on the baby since it was finally starting to get cold at night. 

[hawkinschrissy]

“I didn’t peg you for a goat wrangler but don’t mind if I do.” chrissy laughs and she reaches down to pat the goat lightly on the head, a bleat coming out of its mouth. she still wasn’t sure how to describe how things were with jason but she was trying, the past week happier than most had been. “have you been having fun? I’d be a little tempted to sneak one of these little ones home.”

[wcaringthin]

where: main street when: afternoon with: @hawkinschrissy​

“Chrissy! Hey, Chrissy, wait up!” Having spotted his former co-worker heading in the opposite direction, Drew does a weird half-jog across the street, holding up an apologetic hand at the driver of the sedan he almost walks directly into. He seems oddly unfazed by this.

Once he’s safely on the sidewalk in front of her, Drew swings his backpack off his shoulder, producing an extremely woebegone bouquet of gas station flowers from within and offering them to her. “These are for you - I was real sorry to hear about the store, it’s a bummer. Are you doing okay? Still got all your fingers and toes?”

[hawkinschrissy]

Hearing her name called, Chrissy stops abruptly in the middle of the sidewalk, a hand coming up to her brow to block the sun from her view. “Drew?” A bag swings from her left hand and a curious half smile comes up on her lips. “Is everything okay?” 

The question answers itself because in a matter of seconds, a bouquet of flowers is in front of her face, their petals slightly wilted but mostly intact. She firmly believed in the thought being what counted so there’s no ounce of deception in her smile when she reaches for the bundle. “Oh, Drew. That’s so sweet of you, thank you. I love them.” Her fingers lightly touch one of the blooms, a sigh falling from her lips. “I’m alright, just trying to get back to normal. It’s what they want us to do anyway. What about you and  your siblings? Are you all managing okay?”

[hawkinschrissy]

upsidedownism​:

he didn’t deserve the kindness that chrissy gave him, but he took it anyway. he had too much love for her that he didn’t know what to do with. he knows he’s lucky that she’s still in his life even if they aren’t together. he misses the normalcy they used to have before he went off the rails in his own grief. he thinks about calvin, and patrick, and cindy. three friends that he loved and lost and what they would have done in this situation. there’s the pit in his stomach that he feels again. it never really goes away. “i’m okay chris,” he whispers, shaking his head. “no big damage, just a couple of cuts and bruises.” he moves his hand to move some hair out of her eyes and finds that he places his hand on her neck fingers caressing the skin there like he used to. he realizes that he probably shouldn’t now. it was out of instinct, it’s easy to try and fall back into familiar patterns, whenever jason was scared he needed touch. he doesn’t let go though, he’s just staring at her, trying to find the answers to so many unanswered questions. “i’m glad you’re okay. you were the first person i was looking for.” it’s not that jason had many people in his life anymore but like a moth to a flame he would always try and find chrissy. “me too.” he whispers, “it’s okay now.” when he looks her in the eyes again he gets the feeling that he always feels when he’s around chrissy. it’s that fluttering feeling, and love. he knew that no matter how hard he tried, he would always have love for chrissy cunningham.

chrissy thought about the old days more often than she cared to admit. she still remembered how delirious with happiness she felt when it was her and jason or when calvin would tag along with them on one of their silly little outings. it was how she thought the rest of her life would be like - her and jason taking on the little things together but - the world around them had changed. more than she had wanted it to. chrissy often had to tell herself that everything happens for a reason because otherwise she would have told jason she missed him, that she wanted things to go back to the way they used to be. it couldn’t though, nothing could go back to the way it was. instead she kept her mouth shut and watches him with those shining puppy dog eyes of hers, glistening with all the worry she kept bottled up. “is it okay?” chrissy chokes out, having to look away or she’d completely lose control of her tears. “this was a close call, jason. you know that. we could have lost people again.” she didn’t want to think about it but all her thoughts were coming out anyway. “what if something happened to --” a pause and she shakes her head. “I don’t know how much more of this we’re supposed to take.”

[hawkinschrissy]

headcanon 002;

chrissy can’t remember the last time she looked in the mirror and loved herself. she’s not a bad person, hasn’t done anything to truly warrant so much contempt but she feels it. when she’s alone, she wonders why anyone loves her. she wonders why she can’t love herself enough for it not to matter. all she holds dear finds harm when she’s around and the guilt only adds to the size of chrissy’s heart because maybe if her heart is big enough, it’ll beat hard enough to drown out everything else.

[hawkinschrissy]

✂️ SCISSORS - what is the "last straw" for them to cut someone out of their life? how easily do they let go of people?

chrissy absolutely never ever wants to cut anyone out of her life. she thinks everyone comes into her world for a reason and no one is inherently bad. people can change. the only time she'd ever consider removing someone completely is when they've hurt people beyond repair. she's this insanely kindhearted person so to see others treated badly, it breaks her heart. she could never accept someone being horrible for no reason and even then, if she cared a lot it would be extremely difficult to let go.

[hawkinschrissy]

demoslayers​:

          “well that’s good news, some good news is great news right?” it was rambling and she knew that but what else was there to say in moments like this? “it’s it bad that it’s comforting that not too many people were injured and only a few?” she asked softly, not really needing an answer because honestly anyone getting injured was terrible. “i’m fine, just a few bumps and bruises, nothing too bad just tired more than anything.”

“no, you’re right. I think any good news at this point is a gift.” chrissy knew it was just making small talk but it was helping. talking helped. “better injured than... well, you know.” she trailed off, not finishing her sentence. the more people in the hospital, at the very least meant less people somewhere else, less people somewhere they couldn’t come back from. “I’m glad to hear it. i don’t think anyone is going to be getting much sleep. hospitals are almost designed to keep people awake.”

[hawkinschrissy]

wclkmans​:

     ❝ shit. are people able to help ? i mean, and i hate to say it, but if it’s too expensive to fix to keep the place open — ❞ monnie left it at that. she knew chrissy enjoyed melvald’s and she’d never actually want it to close, but the place had its downfalls the second the mall opened back in ‘85. maybe she’d find jason later and convince him to help with the melvald’s renovation… now monnie was thinking. ❝ if i could remember everything, i’d tell you. at first we were just fucking around in scoops since the power went out. suddenly everyone got together in the main area outside of scoops and lovelace and then the glass ceiling broke on top of us. had that not been a warning, i think more than a few people would’ve been injured badly. ❞ monnie took two big gulps of her wine before refilling the glass again. ❝ you’ll be okay though, right ? you know you’re always welcome at lovelace if you need it. ❞

“I don’t want to think about that. I just - don’t want to lose it.” monnie was right and that stung more than chrissy wanted to admit. melvald’s was old, one of the oldest places in hawkins aside from the theater and over time, it had become valuable to her besides being just her work place. she knew the store like the back of her hand. it was the one place she didn’t have to worry about. “god, monnie. i’m sorry. that sounds terrifying.” she rested her head back, a frown changing her expression. “you’ll say you’re okay after all that but are you really?” chrissy drank right after monnie, needing something to calm her nerves. “I appreciate it, I do. If it all goes under then I don’t really have a choice but I have to believe I can help fix it. Even if it’s on my own.”

[hawkinschrissy]

lucsinclairs​:

he can sense a bit of tension from chrissy in her reply. he can’t blame her, honestly. coming up to her like this, out of the blue and…and with everything that happened and has gone on - it’s never normal or fine anymore.

“yeah, for sure. it’s a weird world, weird…everything now.”

“weird...or scary. maybe both.” lucas wasn’t her enemy here, not that chrissy had many or any to begin with. she just couldn’t find her normal self in all the chaos. “it’s good to see you’re alright though especially after the storm.”

[hawkinschrissy]

scbrinafm​:

         “ okay. ” in all honesty, sabrina wasn’t sure to make of all that was happening. she wasn’t sure if this was a sign of the lack of luck that she had, or if this was just the town throwing another ‘fuck you’ their way, and sabrina was just someone who was extremely unfortunate in this case.. “ i’ve never heard of a red tornado, or ‘bats’ that bite someone completely unprovoked, so i guess we’re all sort of surprised as of late. ” she looked down at the hospital bed. “ i’m glad to see you’re alright, though. a-although, it does make me wanna ask: what’s next? what else is this town going to throw at us? ” she moved a strand of hair from her face, shaking her head. “ it’s literally like this town was just… cursed. ”

chrissy felt the sadness and anger that radiated off of sabrina and she couldn’t blame her. when you were the one in the line of fire, it felt personal and sometimes the events of the past year felt handcrafted to personally affect everyone who cared the most. “i’m sorry.” she sighed, not sure what to say when almost nothing would actually improve the situation. “i’ve been asking myself the same. it’s been a month at most and it’s been non stop. i don’t want to think about what can be worse.” but she did think about it. if the town somehow obliterated itself, if they were all doomed to suffer. 

[hawkinschrissy]

location: outside the remains of melvald’s general store with: @eddiefcknmunson​

chrissy never liked feeling hopeless. it was a feeling that when it hit, it overwhelmed and consumed and made trying seem pointless. as she stared at the shell of her beloved melvald’s, she tried not to let her emotions get the best of her. she did what she always would do and moved to pick up the pieces, tiny scraps of wood or bits of fallen sign that were cast into the street. maybe it really was hopeless but chrissy didn’t want it to be. 

with her eyes cast down, she didn’t notice she had company until a shadow over took her, a familiar one at that. looking up to see eddie, she actually managed a small smile. “hey, what are you doing out here?” she asked quietly, dumping the parts she’d collected into a nearby trash can. 

[hawkinschrissy]

upsidedownism​:

it was almost a relief to see chrissy. truly to see any of his friends. he would have welcomed her in with his hand but everything hurt to move so he just smiled. “have a seat,” he says with a small laugh. he can see that the storm must have affected her somehow and he wanted to try and make it better even if it was just talking about shit that didn’t matter. “oh, you didn’t have to get me anything but i appreciate it.” it touches something deep in his heart seeing the flowers. jonathan didn’t really get much gifts, they supposed that was just the bonus of getting older, but they appreciated it all the same. “are you doing alright? i didn’t hear much of what happened after. i think everyone’s kind of walking on eggshells around me here.”

chrissy smiles meekly, taking the chair beside jonathan and scooting it closer so she was right next to his bedside. she carefully sets the flowers down on the table just nearby, fluffing them a bit. “my grandma used to say that flowers helped people heal so it certainly can’t hurt.” she looks down at her hands then, emotions already overcoming her. “I’ll be alright.” a pause. “I think everyone just wants to make sure you’re resting enough. I heard a bit of what happened if you really want to know. it’s a little - insane.” chrissy rests a hand on the side of the hospital bed, her smile still there but faltering. “what did the doctor say? are you going to be okay?”