i am not the monster.

indie eleven of netflix's stranger things. under heavy construction.

[hawkinsuperhero]

indie eleven of netflix's stranger things. under heavy construction. temporary rules and mun info can be found under the read more.

rules/general information:

this blog will have some triggering content present. while i'll do my best to tag everything with 'tw xyz', please don't follow if these could be upsetting to you: child abuse, torture, violence, and psychological horror.

the mun is 29, but the muse is underage. absolutely no sexual content will ever be present here. while i'm okay with shipping in an age-appropriate context, that's not why i'm here. don't be gross.

this blog will operate on a mutuals only basis for a while. i have other blogs and i need to be sure i can keep up with activity.

treat others how you'd like to be treated. have fun, kiddos.

xoxo Felicia

[screnwriter-deactivated20220724]

hurt comfort prompts

“ you can stay, if you'd like. “

“ please don't go. “

“ why don't we stay at your place tonight? “

“ can i get you anything? “

“ let's be pathetic together. “

“ are you crying? “

“ i'm glad you're here. “

“ you're not doing this alone. “

“ i don't have anyone anymore. “ “ you have me. “

“ are you sure [about staying]? “

“ you didn't force anything. i volunteered [to be here]. “

“ you are what’s important right now. “

“ do you need to vent? “

“ are you sure? it's quite heavy [of a topic]. “ “ i've got all night. “

'' tonight is about you. ''

'' you can make it up to me some other time. “

“ i've got nowhere else to be. “

“ you said you needed a distraction. “ “ so where is it? “ “ you're looking at it. “

“ why don't you come here for a second? “

“ wanna talk about it? “

“ i can't talk about it. not tonight. “

“ you need to distract me. do something, anything. “

“ i just don't want to be alone tonight. “

“ i'm tired of thinking. let's just... make out, or something “

“ i feel like shit. “ “ you look like it, too. “ “ hey! “

“ it’s okay to cry, you know. “

“ you’re a little hurt, that’s all. “

“ anything you want me to get you? “

“ nothing a good [drink] can't fix. “

“ let’s get you cleaned up. “

“ this is you thinking rationally? “

“ you're all i've got. “

'' c'mere. ''

'' let me give you a hug. ''

“ and you're absolutely sure this is what you need? “

“ you don't need this right now. “

“ how long will you stay? “ “ all night. if that's what it takes. “

“ what's it gonna take to make you smile? “

“ if you're not ready to talk about it, let's not. “

“ wanna play some mario kart? it'll give us both a reason to cry when you beat me. “

“ how about we stay like this, just, holding each other? “

“ i don’t know what’s wrong with me. “

“ i can’t stop crying. “

“ i'll be strong for the both of us. “

“ i didn’t know where else to go. “

“ the door's always open, you know that. “

“ i thought you were leaving town. “ “ well, i can't leave now. “

“ there's that smile i know and love. “

“ stay with me. “

“ hey, what’s your favorite snack? “

“ i’m not leaving. “

“ just let it out. “

“ you're stronger than you think. “

“ how about i make a quick run to the store, get you some aspirin? “

“ grab a burger or something on your way home. “

“ you were always there for me when i needed you. “

“ i didn't mean to bother you. “ “ you're not. “

“ hey, listen to me... “

“ you’re not a burden. “

“ aren’t you tired? “

“ this isn't about me. “

“ you’re going to be okay. “

“ hey, look at me… “

“ i don’t know what to do. “ “ we’ll figure it out. “

“ you’re not alone. “

“ hey, hey, hey, it's okay... it's okay. you're okay. “

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[hawkinsuperhero]

creelsclocks​:

               ❝ I understand.  Not how you feel, but the situation;  it must be incredibly frustrating to not have access to the abilities that shaped your very existence.  But you’re moving forward too, El —  just in a different way. ❞

He’s not the most optimistic person in the world, so he won’t even try to wax poetics about the glory of the universe being at her fingertips, but he can assure her of her progress nonetheless.  She may not see it, her current situation being akin to wading through neck-high glue, but it’s likely that she’ll look back on these hopeless years with an amount of mirth  —  like most adults do when they think of their fumbling younger selves.

Her question does–  mercifully–  provide him with an out though.  It prompts him to swallow his mouthful of banana froyo before turning to look at her.  Her own cup looks as if it’s barely been touched, and it makes his heart sink slightly.

                                                                                                                          ❝ Well… ❞

               He’s clearly trying to be careful without sacrificing his honesty.

               ❝ That…  depends on a lot of things.  Has he ever written ‘love’ before, or has it always been ‘from’?  Does he say it to you over the phone?  Some people don’t–  or can’t–  express themselves very well through words and choose action instead.  Does he do things for you that suggest he loves you? ❞

     The brief hesitation isn’t something El would have caught only a year ago — her time with Max had done wonders for her ability to read body language, to gauge what a person is thinking even between words. When Henry hesitates, El shifts to set the frozen yogurt down beside her, eyes now cast towards the ground.

❝ —He’s never actually said it. ❞

     She’s been the only one to say it aloud, and it’s a fact that’s starting to wear on her; even more so now with the loss of her powers. ❝—last year, there were a lot of lies. Friends don’t lie, but Max said boyfriends do. Is that true? Do you lie? ❞

     There are so many things she needs to talk to him about, and his week-long visit suddenly seems too-short. ❝ I wish I could go back with you. Back to Hawkins, I mean. Joyce says I need to adjust, and I love being with her and Will and Jonathan, but — I don’t fit in here. And people at school— ❞ this is where she stops, fingers digging a bit into the fabric of her dress, ❝ I just do not like it. I am not adjusting. ❞

     She misses her dad, and the crushed diorama of Hopper's cabin still sits proudly on her dresser. Angela and her friends may have laughed about it, may have tried to destroy it, but her and Will can rebuild it. It won't stay broken.

[hawkinsuperhero]

❝ I'm useless without my powers, Henry. I am not like you. ❞

     Henry has other things he is good at; Joyce has told her of his affinity for watches, of how he can fix things. All Eleven has ever done is left everything broken.

❝ You are moving forward. I feel like all I am doing is moving backwards. ❞

     Her hands are tight on the cup of frozen yogurt, the dessert all but tasteless in her mouth. It had been nice of him, certainly, to visit her and Jonathan in California, to take her out and try to help — but unless he can get her powers back, there really isn't anything to be done.

     — but there is another matter El wonders if she can get his advice on, something she hasn't spoken to anyone about yet. She's almost too nervous to ask, fingers busy toying with the spoon in her cup before she’s deciding to spit it out.

❝ When Mike and I exchange letters, he never says he loves me. Is that normal? If Nancy signs something, does it say 'from' or 'love'? ❞ This kind of thing could be standard, just another social cue she'd missed out on learning — or, as she's beginning to suspect, it means something else.

          Something that makes her already aching chest throb.