w r a t h

My tank is on empty, no patience is in me && if you offend me I'm lifting you ten feet I don't care who was there && who saw me just jaw you Go call you a lawyer I'll s m i l e in the courtroom

[haydenbarnes]

royallreese‌:

Royal just got out of class for the week, college and work sure takes a toll sometimes. Still, better than being stuck in the dorms all the time. Royal pulled out their phone, texting their friend to tell them Royal would be there shortly.

As promised Royal shortly got to their meeting spot and relaxed against the cool stone. Of course Royal couldn’t hear them approach but they did see their friend’s shoes out of the corner of their eyes.

“There you are,” they signed. “What do you want to do?”

Hayden had met Royal a month or so ago at The Grind and after an awkward first encounter, had become rather good friends. They were two people you’d never think would get along, but Hayden found a lot of comfort and peace in Royal’s presence. He’d almost taken them under his protective wing, as it were. Sure, they had their vices as did everyone, but Hayden knew a good person when they came across one. He was almost using Royal as a connection to good because every other aspect of his life had gone so fucking dark recently. 

He was still in bed when he got the text asking if they wanted to hang out. Today had been a particularly bad day for his mental state, and he’d withdrawn way too much since the murder. Any more and he’d start to arouse suspicion, wouldn’t he? Maybe going out, getting stoned with a buddy on the beach, pretending as if he wasn’t even in Dayton anymore... Maybe that would help. So, he pushed some stuff into a small holdall and left the apartment to the DUV campus. 

Hayden waved with a small smile at Royal before pausing and narrowing his eyes. “Err--” He murmured as his hands came out of his pocket. Learning to sign had been difficult for Hayden, who had never even fucking graduated High School, but he’d not been doing too bad. “Coffee? Beach? Weevle?” he signed, not sure whether he got the last one right. “Weed?” He said out loud with a chuckle so the other could read his lips since they looked a bit confused.

[oldschoolteenflicks]

Top Gun (1986) dir. by Tony Scott

[haydenbarnes]

georgeluisslutsub‌:

George was in that mood when only being used would do. He had just sent in his latest record to the label and he needed to just let loose and relax.  He had spent the day putting out notices for his usual services when he was in the mood. On the usual apps and just around town. He had called his watcher, a protection his manager had insisted on for safety reasons who was sitting in the corner of the large playroom.  He placed the sign with his limits on the door and made sure that all his toys were out and clean.  He got on all fours on the bed and his watcher came over and  quickly stretched his hole enough to slide the vibrating plug in.  George groaned before getting up and moving over to the sex swing in the center of the room and climbing in . His watcher followed and made quick work of tying him to the swing.  A cock ring was put around his dick and the plug was turned on.  A blindfold and gag completed the look and he was ready.   The watcher returned to his position in the corner.  George waited for a bit before he heard footsteps. His toes curled as he awaited the person. 

Hayden had been scrolling through his phone and various apps just to pass time and keep himself distracted. He’d never been one for technology, but after Calum had been talking about this game he played with Alec on the PlayStation Hayden decided to buy one from Walmart and check it out. He was hooked. Once an addict, always an addict, right? The trouble was finding people to play with when Calum and Alec were busy tending to their animals or working. As mentioned before, Hayden wasn’t good with technology (though he always seemed to be able to see the enemy), so he never really realized when he went from the gaming section of the internet to the-- another kind of 'playing’. The idea of a playroom was exciting to Hayden. How many people would be there? Would there be snacks? Corndogs? He had to find out the answers to these questions. They were burning within him, and he figured out that by the time he’d driven over there the active map would be the Canyon. There really was nothing like defending the Canyon. 

Walking into the building, Hayden began to get a little more skeptical about this whole advert and honestly? His heart began sinking. If this didn’t turn out right, then by the time he got back home it would have switched back to World’s Edge, and whilst he was warming to that map, it wasn’t no Canyon. Then, he walked into the playroom and-- ah, mistakes had clearly been made. “I-- Oh boy, I think there’s been a little confusion,” he chuckled, not phased at all by the tied up naked man. “When you said playroom, I kinda thought it’d be like one of those-- cool LED lit rooms with a bunch of consoles and lads just vibin’, having a good time...” It was hard to hide the disappointment in his voice, but then he saw a TV in the room! “Hey, I mean-- since I’ve come all this way... I have my console and remote, you mind if I, er-- y’know? Plug in? Run a few rounds? You can watch, obviously, it’s just if I leave now I won’t make it home before the map re-rolls and there’s nothin’ like defending the canyon with an audience. You can call out enemies for me! We’ll order a pizza?”

[paceyjoeys]

[haydenbarnes]

ainsleyslater‌:

Ainsley doesn’t know what she would have done if he hadn’t shown up. Probably hunted him down and fucked him senseless the next day at work. But she would have had time to remold her mask around her. Now she was defenseless and the only thing keeping her from falling apart was Hayden’s arms around her. She doesn’t normally allow hair tucks, but she does for him, and it makes warmth rush to her cheek. She lets herself be lusted after, but she doesn’t let herself be cared for and this…this is dangerously uncharted territory. The elevator pings and thank god he has the common sense to move them out into the hallway, because Ainsley can’t focus on anything but his mouth. Trapped. Yes. She’d meant to trap him and somehow he’d trapped her too only it didn’t feel like a trap. It felt like…a sanctuary, miles and miles of suddenly free land inside her chest begging to be explored. 

She’s already working her hands under his jacket when her back knocks into the door. It’s a feet, its a scramble, to get the keys out and into the lock while attempting to keep her mouth on him at all times. The key connects, she turns it and there’s a click. And then Hayden gives her an out and she stills. Her eyes half closed, her lips lingering against his as she breathes harshly. Whatever this is she could stop it now, she could build her walls higher, she could send him away. “Don’t leave,” she whispers, fingers curling against his shirt again. “Don’t ever leave.” And then shes kicking the door open with her foot, both arms looping around his neck as she reclaimed his kisses demandingly and drags him into the apartment. She uses their bodies to close the door, pushing him hard against the wood like she had that first day in her office. Her hands urge his jacket off, disappear under his shirt to claim the muscles of his back as she devotes her lips to his, tongue demanding entrance.

No one has ever been invited into Ainsley’s space before. There is a fleeting wonder if she’s left any messes about, but it falls to the wayside because kissing him is more important. He is a monster, and now he is her monster and he deserves to be worshipped, every dark shuddering inch of him kissed and fanned into flame. “Do you have any idea how fucking good you taste,” she murmured out harshly, fingers gripping his hair hard as a low moan slips past her lips. “I’m not good at this, Hayden. I’m not…I don’t…do this. But whatever this is with us I…need it. I need you. Tell me you’re mine.”

For so many years, there had been nothing that had come close to the feeling heroin gave him. For so many years, he had chased the dragon for a chance a feeling like he belonged with it. He chased the feeling of redemption, of home, of an equal. Heroin had been able to give him a taste of what that felt like. But Ainsley? Fuck, Ainsley was enough to make him forget that he’s seven hours since his last real hit. It made that burning desire in his veins fucking disappear. She was his new addiction and he was in over his head with no desire whatsoever to return to sobriety. That was the real reason why he’d come through the front door and not the back. He needed to keep her around, needed to keep feeling how he’d felt when they were fucking in the booth. 

“I’m never fucking leaving,” he returns, that softness in his voice replaced with grit as he hears the door slam against the wall from where she’s kicked it open. Then she pushes him against the door and all the blood in him pumps down to his cock and leaves him lightheaded. He shrugs to help her take his jacket off, his own hands pushing the top of his that she was wearing up in a manic need to have their skin touching. It’s as if clothes are too much of a barrier, it’s as if the thin layers of fabric kept her too far away. The sound of his jacket hitting the ground, the contents of his pockets clattering against each other, causes him to let out a little moan. 

Good things weren’t meant for bad people, right? That’s what he’d always been told. His father had instilled a deep-rooted belief in karma and morals, enough knowledge for Hayden to know he was far from a good person. Yet, here was his match made in heaven. Here was the missing piece to his fucked up jigsaw. His eyes roll with pleasure as she pulls his hair, his hips rolling up off the door against her as he pushes off, backing them into the apartment to the nearest solid object her could fuck her on. “I need you...” He breathed out between kisses. “I’m tired of fucking lying to myself about you,” his voice never raised above a whisper as his lips left hers only to pull that top finally off and throw it to one side as they hit and fell down onto the couch. 

His rough, scarred hands roam up her body, his lips find her jaw and neck and earlobe, teeth nipping those sweet fucking sensitive spots. “I’m yours, and you have every single fucking inch of me, Ainsley... All wrapped up around your fingers.”. Hayden didn’t do romance. He had never, not once, made himself emotionally available to anyone else. But, whispering sweet nothings to her only turned him on more. “But tell me what you want... I want to give in to every single one of your desires... Let me prove how much I’m yours.”.

[haydenbarnes]

ainsleyslater‌:

realdylanadams‌:

There was nothing that could surprise Dylan at this point in her life, the things she has seen and done desensitized her to it all. She sat in the passenger’s seat as Ainsley sped to the casino. The ride felt like forever despite it and the club being so close but it gave her enough time to run through the checklist of things they needed to do in the next few hours. She couldn’t lie, this was invigorating. Adrenaline pumped through her as she wished the car would go faster. “I got your back. Just keep Hayden under control and the two of us will get this mess cleaned up like it never happened. If we run into a snag, we can call Abel.” She really hoped it wouldn’t come to that. As much as she trusted Abel, the less involved, the better. Dylan pulled out one of the dime bags from her pocket and pressed her finger tip into the white powder, rubbing it against her gums before returning the bag to her pocket. “You ready to do this thing?” she asked as they came up to the casino. 

Her toes itch to press the gas until she hits the floor, but she needs to keep it cool, needs to keep everything under her control contained and normalized even as her insides are a hurricane of adrenaline. The casino is a looming shadow within the shadows as they approach. Keep Hayden under control. Keep him safe. She’s distracted by how much he is her priority, not the dead body outside her club. When the car stops outside the alleyway she takes a steadying break to refocus. There will be time for her to tend to Hayden later, to fall apart with worry for him. Right now she needs to be Ainsley fucking Slater, ruthless handler of messy shit. “Ready,” she answered shortly, turning the key, the sound of the car door opening echoing in the night. The alleyway is long, which is good. There’s a back door towards the front for vendors, but the VIP side door is further back, purposefully hidden in the shadows and a large half brick wall. “I’m just glad this happened outside. So much easier to get blood out of asphalt than carpeting, let me tell you.” She skirts around the half wall and there it is, there he is. A heap of what used Tate Weston. Hayden is so still that it takes her 30 heart stop seconds to find him, feet moving as she beelines for his side. “Hey it’s me, it’s Ainsley. I’m here. It’s handled. Everything is gonna be handled, I’ve got you.”

@haydenbarnes​

He wouldn’t be able to tell anyone the amount of time that passed between him hanging up the phone and hearing Ainsley’s car door slam. He’d finished the call with just enough mentality to take heed of her words, to find a dark corner, to allow the shadows to take him as their prize. Nausea had subsided quickly, the feeling in the pit of his stomach replaced by sheer fucking dread. He’d just taken a life. A young life. The son of a really fucking rich man; a man that could destroy Hayden, Ainsley, and Dylan without so much as lifting a finger. His eyes slowly looked back to the body from his murky shadow and didn’t leave it until finally, fucking finally, he heard Ainsley’s voice. Everything is gonna be handled, I’ve got you. He was a monster. How could she have him? Why was she here? He was a murderer. A demon. A shadow darker than anything any wall or building could cast. But, she came anyway... And so did Dylan. He swallows, adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. His cold eyes pool, but no tear dares to drop from them. “I’m sorry...” He barely whispers. But, here was the killer problem... In among all those questions whirling around, there was no second-guessing. There was no guilt. There was no regret.

[henryscavills]

[bob-belcher]

[haydenbarnes]

@calgoodie - <3 

[maziekeen]

[haydenbarnes]

claudiafern96‌:

Historically, there have been some sleazy people to come through one of the Labrynth’s many bars. Today was no exception. Claudia felt her eyes burning as she tried to keep her cool, customer service face on while the bar patron in front of her was really asking to be socked in the face. She wanted to tell the man that bartenders didn’t flirt with customers for their numbers, they flirted for the tips. She could tolerate a lot, but what Claudia didn’t tolerate was blatant racism and sexism and the man sitting in front of the bar was exuding those -isms. “I’m actually Cuban, not Mexican and I suggest you misogyny to a different bar, no?” she said, throwing her change at him. “Now or I’ll call security.” she said, encouraging him to get his ass moving. Walking across the bar, she took a few deep breathes and attempted to re-gain her cool. She knew she was going to hear about that from her boss in a couple days, but her boss should’ve just been glad she didn’t throw a drink at his face or worse. “Sorry you have to witness that,” she said to the person across from her. “I promise i’m not evil, he just deserved it.” she laughed. “Sí or no? You agree?” 

Hayden had been walking around the different bars doing a stock check ready for the end of month book-keeping and the next order. He wasn’t technically on shift tonight, but ever since he’d lost control almost two weeks ago, he couldn’t be still. He needed to work, needed to keep busy, needed to be close to Ainsley. Ducking under the partition, he joined Claudia on the serving side of the bar towards the end of their disagreement with a customer. The bubbling started in the pit of his stomach, something he’d not allowed himself to notice until now. He moved his hand behind his back briefly to allow it to curl into a tight fist as his jaw tensed, eyes burning into the man’s features like red hot lasers. Then he left, and he released the fist, pushing his hand into his suit pocket instead. “Don’t apologize for standing up for yourself,” he replied, those laser hot eyes now landing on her softly. “Did you get his name from his ID?” Hayden asked, a soothing ring to his tone as he walked up to her. “It’s Claudia, right? If you get any assholes like that, get their ID, get their name and let me know... I’ll pass them on to security, they won’t be allowed in again. You’re here to work, and to have a good time, not to get abused or harassed, alright?” It wasn’t strictly true that he’d pass their names onto security, but he’d certainly see that they never stepped foot in Labyrinth again.

[haydenbarnes]

atlasjones‌:

Atlas should have figured his car would crap out after the journey from the East Coast. The car was old and beaten up as it was, and he had put some serious miles on it when driving to Dayton. It just needed a little love, a boost and a quick drive around to get back to normal. It was annoying, sure, but it happened often to the man, so he was used to it. Normally, though, he was in a town surrounded by people he knew and could call them for help; but here, everyone was a stranger. He was just thankful someone had been walking by when he needed it most.

He nodded in confirmation towards the stranger, chuckling softly, rubbing the back of his neck with his calloused hand. “A boost, yeah.” He hit the side of the car, standing up from the boot before adding, “Drove all the way from New York a few days ago, I think she’s just a little tired, is all. A jump should do the trick. I’m Atlas, by the way. Thanks for stoppin’.”

Hayden wasn’t really a car man, he much preferred motorbikes if ever he had to travel a distance that couldn’t really be covered on foot. But, he had an old Chevy that he’d picked up to drive across to Dayton in and never resold. “Hayden,” he greeted, “and yeah, no worries, give me five minutes and I’ll drive back around,” he said with a small smile before jogging off around the corner. Reappearing just over the time frame he’d said, Hayden pulled his car up behind the broken down Cruiser and got back out. 

“So, you said you were from New York?” Hayden continued the small talk between them as he popped the hatch to reveal the engine. “Or, at least you came here from there, right? I’m from Harlem, though I lived in the Bronx before I came here.”.

[cruellheaven]

“Bite my lip bloody; sate the hunger, feed the beast.”

— m.d.g (via crescentemlunam)

[haydenbarnes]

atlasjones‌:

“Oh come on, you have got to be kidding me.” He groaned, repeatedly turning the key over in his car, desperately hoping the engine would start. It was late at night and he needed to find somewhere to park for the night. “Shit.” Atlas grunted, the car still not starting. Thankfully he had jumper cables in the backseat, but no one around to give him a boost. He waited for a moment, then two, and the reality of a car coming by that could help. Finally giving up, he let out a sigh and got out of the car, walking around and putting up the hatch on his PT Cruiser before climbing in and sitting in the trunk. The car was not only his way around, but his make shift house. He leaned against the mattress, only to spot someone a few feet away. If nothing else, he could use some company until the tow truck arrived. He slid out of the car, smiling and waving towards the stranger. “Hey! Hey, you! You don’t happen to know anyone with a tow truck, or a car, do you?” He questioned, desperate.

Other than driving to his shifts at TC&BH and Labyrinth to keep up a normal appearance, going for a walk was the only alone time Hayden was able to get at the moment. Between Marissa and Ainsley, they’d made sure someone was always around him since... Well, since his entire fucking life changed. There were good days, though most of them were bad ones. Today was one of those rare good ones, where the knot in his stomach didn’t feel as if it was about to pop his insides open. His head was quiet, and he was letting those intrusive thoughts that did come in just pass through. It also helped that today was payday and so he was able to score and do twice as much as he usually did. Funny, that.

So, he was walking down the street, earbuds in listening to some old school Enter Sandman by Metallica. Despite the volume, he still heard the shouts from across the road and glanced around the street to find who it belonged to until he found him. Slowly, he took the earbuds out, looked up and down the road, and crossed over to him. “Hey, er-- I have a car, it’s about a block away from here though. You need a jump or something?”

[haydenbarnes]

malakhai-ozera‌:

Standing outside in the rain displaying this sort of behavior wasn’t really anything new for Khai. He would get too deep into his own head space and need some sort of relief. Usually that meant getting fucked up beyond recognition, or simply just doing things that were completely out of his character. Anyone who really knew Khai, knew that when he was sober he was way more introverted than he had been displaying at the moment.

As Hayden approached the gazebo for cover, Khai was quick to greet him with a question. Surely not everyone thought that rainy weather was beautiful. But, he did non the less. Despite the tone of voice coming from the other male as he responded clearly not amused.

Turning his head he gazed over at the man who was now sitting around the fire to keep warm. He seemed a bit off, like something was bothering him, and Khai wasted no time in deciding to join him. He walked up next to him and squatted down beside him. His clothing and hair was dripping wet as he lifted his hand to push his hair back from his face. “Right? It’s seems like so long since we had a really good down pour. It’s been much needed.”

The fire was the perfect thing for him right now. It was warming him back up, a sudden shiver setting in now that he had stopped moving and come back to the real world. But, it was also the exact thing that he could stare at and feel a connection with. That burning, seething rage those amber flames portrayed was exactly what his internal conflict felt like right now. His emotions threatened to escape him just like the flames threatened to escape the trash can that would contain them until they died down. He sighed again, but it wasn’t because Khai joined him, it was because it was like slowly releasing the pressure in a bottle of soda that’s been dropped on the ground. Sighing was his way of slowly opening the cap.

“Early January was the last rain, I think,” he scoffed as he rubbed his hands together and then held them just shy of the flames. “Crazy to think that was almost five months ago... Is it just me or is this year flying by?” He asked, wondering whether a little small talk might help or make everything worse. Only one way to find out. He didn’t really recognize the other man. “You new to town? Don’t think we’ve met, have we?” 

[haydenbarnes]

calgoodie‌:

Calum had never really worked in customer service. Not the kind that most servers were used to. Working lighting and audio came with its waves of disagreeable people. There were always going to be the types that complained that things weren’t bright enough, or not lit with the right color. Perhaps a faulty microphone here or there, but it was nothing in comparison to some of the shit that he was experiencing that night at Tits, Clits, and Bong Hits. He knew that he’d seen and heard horror stories about what people could experience but seeing it first hand was infuriating. If he wasn’t fairly certain it’d have gotten him fired or worse given a lawsuit, he’d have smacked the woman upside the head with a hookah. He hated the way she’d spoken to Hayden and hated, even more, the way she was disrupting the other guests. Oh, how he wished that her threat to never return was more of a promise, but there was a sinking part of him that was confident this would not be the last time she popped up in their storefront. He hadn’t even realized just how angry the look on his face must have been until Hayden had ushered him back to the staff room for a cool down. Grateful that the other man had ensured that the rest of their customers, for the most part, had seemed pretty unphased by the woman’s reaction. 

“I didn’t realize Karen’s really got that bad. Like you don’t really see that in my other industry. Or maybe you do but I’m the audio guy so I kinda just turn something on and tune them out, but that lady was insufferable. I can practically feel her driving off in her minivan to pick up her kids from soccer practice, Jesus Christ!” Calum huffed all in one breath as he watched Hayden going through the fridge and coming back with nonother than a tray full of cookies. This man really was a saint. Calum had realized pretty quickly that he had a lot to learn from Hayden and his way of handling things. Looked at him the way one might look at a young Tom from Myspace. A true friend of everyone. He felt a part of himself getting choked up as he looked back and forth from the marshmallow infused cookies to his hero as he picked one up and took a bite. The flavor was impeccable and he could hardly believe what was going on for him in his mouth when he reached out and pulled his coworker in for a hug. 

Bartending was the only real hireable skill Hayden had. He had no formal education; he didn’t even graduate High School. But, he had an aptitude for putting on a fake smile and serving high-quality drinks so he got by. It was nights like this, however, that he wished he had some other kind of skill because sometimes customer service could just be draining. Calum was new to his role, and Hayden felt a kind of affinity to protect the younger guy from the Karen’s of the world. They’d only had a handful of shifts together but already they were getting to be quite the bros. He chuckled as he placed the tray of cookies down on the table. “Oh, for sure, that was like a Level 7 Karen. Wait until we get a Level 10 one in, they are lethal, I swear,” he joked, knowing not to give in to the actual seething anger inside him that the woman had aroused. He’d channel that into his shift at Labyrinth tomorrow, sure that Ainsley would be able to find him some kind of... Outlet. “She probably came in here to get some weed for that Soccer son named Wyatt so he can take it to the afterparty and she can be the ‘cool Mom’ of the neighbourhood because her next-door neighbour, Hillary, said that she was too highly strung last week at the neighbourhood watch meeting.”. He watched with bated breath as Calum tried his cookies, he hoped they were good. Hoped they helped. Then, the young man came up and wrapped his arms around him and Hayden smiled and returned the hug. “It’s okay, Bro... She’s gone, we’re all good.”.

[haydenbarnes]

ainsleyslater‌:

What the fuck was happening?

Was she smiling?

He pulled her arms tighter around his frame and she fucking…she smiled…she smiled and she couldn’t stop and it was the most terrifying thing she’d ever experienced. Ainsley Slater believed in love stories. She believed in princes and princesses and soulmates and all that crap, but she’d never been interested in any of that being a part of her story. So what in the fucking hell was this trembling thunderous sound inside of her? The way she pressed closer against Hayden and tucked her head against the back of his shoulder and closed her eyes so that all sensation except him melted away. She is jealous of the wind playing through his hair. Of the inky night that gets to caress the skin that is facing away from her. She wants to see if his eyes light up when he takes a turn, if he’s smiling too. 

Love stories are for soft souls and Ainsley is a sharp edged monstrous creature. This isn’t love, it’s not. It’s a successful mission with unforeseen consequences. She’d wanted Hayden to belong to her, body and mind and he did now, she could feel it in his body, she had felt it in the way he claimed her at the hookah bar. But now…now under cover, with nothing but the scenery whipping by and the roar of the motorcycle she realized she’d made a mistake, she’d missed the part where she began to belong to him too. There was no love here, just two monsters who appreciated the rotted away parts of each other, just two monsters who could create nightmares and take over this town.

The ride to her place lasts forever and yet only seconds. Time gets this odd, fuzzy edged consistency to it. She’s trembling when they stop, when she gets off the bike, fists clenched at her sides while Hayden settles the bike. The second he’s off she’s tugging at him, kissing him like she’s been doing it for years, like she’s always known the taste of him. Part of her wants to beg for the familiarity of rushed roughness, wants to beg him to push her up against the dirty brick of the building’s exterior and fuck her again. But the other part of her wins, her fingers winding in his hair to claim what the wind had been enjoying, kissing him just to kiss him till she could barely breathe from the sheer weight in her chest. Then her fingers found his, twined impossibly perfectly fitted as she takes his hand and leads him up the stairs to the front door. 

Words…she should say something shouldn’t she? But she can’t. She can only squeeze his hand till she’s lead him to the elevator, a grateful sigh exuding from between kiss swollen lips as the doors immediately open. And when they’re inside, when it’s just them in a small square box with cheesy fucking elevator music she leans into him, rests her head against his chest, her fingers clutching gently against the fabric of his shirt. She breaths him in, she lets him feel her trembling. And god fucking damn it she’s still smiling, a dopey uncharacteristic curve to her lips that almost hurts, strains muscles that aren’t used to such an expression. “I thought you would leave out the back door,” she admitted. “I also thought I’d grab a cab and disappear and leave you behind. But I was so sure one of those things at least was going to happen. But you…you came out the front. And I waited for you.” 

If it wasn’t for the wind that whipped around his face as they rode through the silent town, Hayden would have been convinced that this was a dream. He wasn’t a man that was easily moved to a smile and yet the feeling of Ainsley pressed so tight behind him, the feeling of freedom as the rode together... It curled his lips into that unfamiliar expression. It felt like he was in some teen romantic comedy; as if right now the director was about to ask him to happily shout out into the void. 

He wants to turn around to look at her so badly. He can feel her smiling into his shoulder and suddenly he’s developed an insatiable need to see her smile. Two people with so much red in their ledger nothing else was legible... They shouldn’t be deserving of the ability to smile, but here they were, smiling anyway. This was going to end terribly with the only thing on the horizon being heartbreak and disappointment. That was where this always led, wasn’t it? For Hayden, that’s all relationships had ever caused whether they were platonic or romantic. Pain. He knew this, so why did he come out the front of the bar instead of the back? Why was he riding to her apartment with her? Why was he obsessing over how well their bodies fit together?

She was different. 

Above all the questions, all the doubt, all the self-loathing those three words echoed. Ainsley was different. She wasn’t here to try and save him, she didn’t want to change him, she didn’t want him to get clean, or suppress his anger. All she wanted, was for him to accept it all; to own his own being and do it alongside her. Harmonic chaos. That’s what they both wanted.. No, it’s what they both needed. 

They come to a stop and suddenly reality screeches into slow motion. Time ceases to exist as if they’re more important than time itself. He flicks down the stand and dismounts, his lips part to say something but hers connect before he has a chance. They kiss, and he closes his eyes, he wraps his arms around her with selfish intent. Hayden wants Ainsley all to himself, a jealous rage burning inside him as he thinks about anyone else getting to taste her decedent lips. He can feel her having to hold back from going for round two right here and now. He feels it because he has to do the exact same. 

Suddenly, they’re going up in the elevator to her apartment. The only reason he notices is that, finally, their lips take a break from each other. It’s because of this that he finally gets to see that smile and... God, it’s cliche, but he skips a breath and a heartbeat because of it. His arms refuse to unwrap from around her as she pulls at his top and plays with his hair. She’s trembling, and it relaxes Hayden’s mind because that means she’s thinking the same as him. It means that this means something to her as well. “I had my hand on the back door,” he replies, a softness in his voice that she’s never heard before. “But I couldn’t open it... I-- needed to see whether you were waiting, and you were.” His hand fucking goes through her hair and tucks it behind her ear so he can see her face better, so he can see her smile better. “You’ve got me in a trap, Ainsley... And I have no desire to leave it,” the elevator doors ping open and he guides her out, rejoining their lips as they stumble together down to her front door. 

He hears the key push into the door, and for a second a wave of panic floods through him. “It’s not too late for me to leave if you don’t want this... Whatever this is...” He speaks slowly, quietly, and softly, as if the walls have ears and they’re the town’s biggest secret. 

[dailytypographyedits]

Thin White Lines // Five Seconds of Summer