all my hope is gone

I'm Hayden Barrett, I'm 18 and I'm here because I'm a freak, that's pretty much everything.

[countdownto-zero]

The food here is terrible.

[countdownto-zero]

Or you could be suffering from dementia. 

[haydenbarrett]

Who knows,, maybe I am and haven't been diagnosed yet.

[countdownto-zero]

The food here is terrible.

[countdownto-zero]

That wasn’t meant to be humorous. 

[haydenbarrett]

You must be one of those people who make everything sound funny, then.

[bowies-bitch]

I want sex.

[bowies-bitch]

You’re a little late. 

[haydenbarrett]

I'm sorry if people's sexual orientation is not stamped on their forehead.

[countdownto-zero]

The food here is terrible.

Lucky for me I can actually go outside and get something better. 

[haydenbarrett]

Ahah, so funny.

[bowies-bitch]

I want sex.

Like right now. I’ll even have experimental hetero sexy times. 

[haydenbarrett]

Wait, you're a lesbian?

[gabriel-dawson-blog]

Gabriel closed his eyes for a few seconds, wanting to focus on Hayden. Just Hayden. He gripped the back of Hayden’s shirt and smiled slightly at that. He was right, if Hayden really wanted to he could have just left Gabriel to deal with his hallucinations on his own. When he looked at Hayden again, he was more than a little relieved to see that he looked normal. He couldn’t help but laugh lightly, and he shook his head. “You’re more insane than me if you stay my friend.” He said, his tone joking. The panic from the episode was fading away and Gabriel felt like he could breath properly again. “I can still hear the voices but they’re not as loud as before. I think I should lay down for a little bit.” 

[haydenbarrett]

"Well, then I'm the insane one." He said, grinning at Gabriel's joke. He was really relieved to know he was better now and the episode was over - or at least he thought it was over, if he was cracking jokes it meant he was akrught, right? "Okay, do you want me to take you to your room? Just in case they get louder again and you need some hugs, of course." He smirked, teasing but he was only kidding; Hayden actually didn't mind hugging Gabriel at all.

[gabriel-dawson-blog]

Gabriel felt horrible for having an episode in front of Hayden, but he was grateful to have someone with him who was at least trying to help him. It was better than having to deal with it by himself. He noticed Hayden’s hesitance but nodded his head. Even though Gabriel barely knew Hayden, the physical contact would help keep him grounded. The blonde wrapped his arms around the other and hugged him tightly, sighing softly as he felt a small rush of comfort from it. “I’m sorry you have to deal with me right now, Hayden. I’m really sorry.” He mumbled, slight tremors going through him. The voices were still there but they at least weren’t as loud as they were before. “I’m completely insane.” 

[haydenbarrett]

Hayden put his arms around Gabriel after his nod, smiling a little when he hugged him tight. He was glad he could help him, even if only a little, and especially after he had helped him get to his room when he was out of life force and napping everywhere. "Hey, it's ok, I don't mind. If I did I wouldn't be here, don't you think." He said and started to rub his back again. He didn't want him to feel guilty because of his condition, it was not his fault and if he needed comfort, Hayden wasn't that mean of a person he would refuse to give it. "Don't say that, you're not insane. And even if you were, I would still be your friend, ok?" He let him go a little and smiled, trying to comfort him though there was a voice at the back of his head telling him he should keep his distance, which he ignored.

[gabriel-dawson-blog]

Gabriel nodded his head quickly to answer Hayden's question, as tried to distinguish between what was real and what his head was making up. "You're real. You're real. They aren't real. You're real." He said to himself, jumping slightly when Hayden started to rub his back. He felt slight comfort from that, feeling that Hayden was an actual living person and not something in his head. He hesitantly uncovered one of his ears and grabbed Hayden's arm to further reassure himself. "I can't tell what's real and what isn't, right now. It's scary." He took a deep breath to try to calm himself down, not wanting to completely freak out on Hayden.

[haydenbarrett]

"Yes, I'm real. They aren't real but I'm real." He assured him and kept rubbing his back, hoping it worked and calmed him down. Hayden smiled a little when he saw him uncovering one of his ears and felt him grabbing his arm, hoping he didn't notice how freaked out and scared he actually was. He was so out of his league but he was trying with allof his might tomake it seem like he was calm, so he wouldn't freak Gabriel out even more. "I know it's scary but I'm real and I'm here. You can hug me if you want to or if it helps, I don't know." He said, a little hesitant, but physical comfort calmed him down when he was upset, maybe it would calm Gabriel down too.

[gabriel-dawson-blog]

Gabriel blinked his eyes to try to get the hallucination to stop. Hayden didn't look like he did just a few moments ago, his face looked different. "No. No. No. No. No. You look different. W-Why are you doing this?" Gabe asked, now starting to panic. The voices were getting louder in his head and he put his hands over his ears in a pathetic attempt to block them out. "Why are you doing this to me? Stop it. Stop it!"

[haydenbarrett]

"I'm not doing anything! What's happening, Gabriel? Is it an hallucination?" Hayden asked, trying to stay calm and help him but honestly, Gabriel was the first schizophrenic he had ever met, he didn't know how to handle this. "Hey, Gabe, whatever you're hearing is not real, ok? Except me, I'm real and I'm here, you don't have to worry." He put an hand on his back, rubbing it softly to try to calm him down after he put his hands over his ears but he could feel himself getting scared. He didn't know what he was doing, what if he did something wrong? What if he just made everything worse?

[haydenbarrett]

Or the handsome swan.

[ivory--tempest]

Swan? Could of chosen something more… Manly?

[haydenbarrett]

They're handsome, manly or not. Probably the handsomest creature on Earth.

[ivory--tempest]

Or the helpless baby duckling…

[haydenbarrett]

Or the handsome swan.

[gabriel-dawson-blog]

"Batman is cool, not as cool as Jean Grey or Captain America but still cool." He said, before he stopped walking, and stared at Hayden. He didn’t look right. "Um, Hayden?… I, uh, you… I’m starting to see things. You don’t look right." He said, rubbing his eyes.

[haydenbarrett]

"Hm?" He frowned, stopping as well and looking at him. "I don't look right? Do I have a thing on my face or something?" He asked, touching his cheek to see if he got something stuck there but he couldn't feel anything but his own skin.

[ivory--tempest]

Because you seem life the attached puppy type.

[haydenbarrett]

More like the cool unattached cat.

[ivory--tempest]

Aww, hurt your feelings?

[haydenbarrett]

Of course not. Why would you?

[ivory--tempest]

Nah, that’s still too close for comfort.

[haydenbarrett]

Nice to know.

[gabriel-dawson-blog]

I think I like Jean Grey the best out of all of the Marvel characters. She’s pretty awesome. Did you have any pets before you came here?

[haydenbarrett]

From Marvel I liked Captain America but I was much more of a Batman guy, no doubt. No, I didn't.

[ivory--tempest]

I don’t do friends.

[haydenbarrett]

Fine. Acquaintances?