avan jogia , bisexual , male + he/him ― hey look , it’s hayden modi ! they’re twenty four years old , they’ve lived in shrike heights for three months , and they’re currently working at julio’s bar . i heard they’re pretty reckless , but i think they’re so open minded at the same time . can they make it out alive ?
! tws for drug abuse and addiction , pregnancy and child death , proceed with caution !
basic info
☆ full name : hayden rajat modi ☆ nicknames : usually just goes by hayden , claims he’s too ‘ unoriginal ’ for nicknames ☆ birthday / zodiac : october 21 , libra sun ( libra - scorpio cusp , or the ‘ cusp of drama and criticism ’ ) , sagittarius moon , gemini rising ☆ right handed or left handed : ambidextrous ☆ height : 5 ‘ 11 ☆ three things he likes : getting high , the beatles , any harley davidson motorcycle ☆ three things he dislikes : when the party ends , being alone with his thoughts , the mere idea that nothing is really forever ☆ eye color : brown ☆ hair color : black ☆ place of birth : montreal , canada ☆ languages spoken : canadian french , english , very basic conversational gujarati ☆ five aesthetics : pictures of hayley , drowning out your sorrows through narcotics , eating at denny’s at ungodly hours drunk off your ass , dried up tears , being the actual life of the party
background story and headcanons
hayden was the fourth born child of rajat and kimmy modi , out of eight other brothers and sisters , being the ultimate middle child
despite having so many kids , his parents payed attention to each and every one of them , never leaving a kid out like some parents with multiple children did . this had it’s ups and downs , but mostly downs ( in hayden’s opinion ) . his parents were super strict and very old school , close minded people , which is something that drove hayden insane
now , they weren’t bad parents per say , but hayden thought they were overbearing . they had rules he found really dumb like no skirts below the knee for girls , everyone had a curfew at nine pm , they weren’t allowed to date until after they moved out of the house , no people over until they’ve met their parents , their parents had to approve of all the clothes they wore , no tattoos , piercings or dying your hair , and one that hayden really hated in particular ? him and his brothers were always forced to keep their hair as short as they could , as his parents didn’t allow them to have longer hair
these were just some of the rules they had , because there were plenty more , each one more ridiculous and strict than the last . hayden grew up being that friend that couldn’t go out unless his parents met your parents , wasn’t allowed out on school days at all , pretty much had all these rules he had to follow which he hated . like , he was that friend that you could never really hang out with outside of school because it was either one , too hard to do so , or two , he simply wasn’t allowed
it was overbearing , and while he understood that his parents did all of this because they cared , it actually made hayden resent them , because he felt like he had no actual free will around them . they wanted to control everything , know every little detail , and he couldn’t stand it
so , if you guessed it , he started acting out at an early age , but .... secretly , of course . he always kept everything he knew they wouldn’t approve of a secret , which was hard to do with the amount of siblings he had and how much his parents were on his ass , but he managed to do so . honestly , his parents’ rules did nothing to help keep him in place . if anything , being guarded so much and restricted like that made him want to do all the wild things his parents were so afraid of him doing , so , that’s just what he did
while he was smart enough to keep his grades up , his social life was mostly kept a secret because his parents would never approve . hayden started wilding out , no lie , the second he became a teenager . thirteen was basically his year !
this is the first time he tried alcohol and cigarettes , his first kiss , the first time he snuck out , all the things his parents didn’t want him doing , he began doing at this age , of course , all secretly , but he still did them
his little escapades only became more and more intense as he got older . cigarettes became joints , kisses turned into sex , and well .... you get the idea
by the time he’s sixteen , he meets a girl he would soon fall head over heels in love with . her name was hanna . hanna was basically everything his parents wanted him not to be , everything they hated , and even with their ‘ no dating ’ rule , hayden fell for her , and hard
he was breaking their rules secretly already before she showed up , but hanna encouraged him to break even more . she had hippie parents who told her to follow her desires , basically everything hayden could want really . he found it very difficult to say no to her . he had only tried weed and beer up until he met her , but she got him to try just about everything in the book , eventually getting him hooked on coke
she was toxic , and it was only a matter of time before her influence on him really began to show . he had always been so good at hiding everything from his parents , his siblings , but he started to slip with her . fast forward a year later and his mother finds an empty coke bag in his sock drawer . this of course , leads to the ultimate argument with his parents
everything comes to light right then and there . the argument is so terrible , his crying mother becomes so angry , she slaps him ( which is huge for hayden , because neither one of his parents had ever laid a hand on him or one of his siblings ) . they basically kick him out and surprisingly ? hayden is so filled with rage , he’s perfectly okay with that , doesn’t even bother to use the thirty minutes they give him to ‘ pack your bags and get the fuck out of here ’ either , legit just grabs his camera and leaves , and the first person he goes to ? hanna . he honestly hasn’t seen his parents or siblings since that day
they pretty much runaway with a couple of her hippie friends and start road tripping the states together , spend hanna’s eighteenth birthday in las vegas , which was absolutely crazy , and that’s saying little . eventually , hayden and hanna settle down in some trailer homes in denver
after a night filled with too many beers and lines , they find out hanna is expecting three months later , right when they’re finally getting settled in . despite the fast lifestyle they both live , they decide to keep it . ‘ it ’ turns out to be a girl , and they name her hayley
hayden never wanted to be a father , but as cheesy as it sounds , his daughter really changed him . like , he really wanted to be a better man for her even though he was barely eighteen and didn’t know what the fuck he was doing , literally never felt a love so pure , just wanted to protect her and be a good dad
however , the same can’t be said for hanna . she tells him she’s going to get the baby formula one day and never comes back , leaving hayden a single father when his daughter is only four months old . he’s alone and scared , doesn’t have a single clue what to do , but he somehow makes it work
stops doing drugs , gets his shit together even though it’s hard . like he’s stressed 24/7 but for once , he’s trying to do things the right way . he’s nothing like his parents at all , but he understands what it’s like to care for someone so much , you don’t want anything bad to happen to them , he doesn’t agree with what his parents did but after becoming a dad , he gets where they’re coming from . he becomes a better person , all thanks to hayley
fast forward five years later however , and hayley becomes really sick with leukemia . hayden starts spending his time in the hospital more than anything . unfortunately , after a little over a year of struggling , she ends up passing away when she’s six years old
it was one of those cases where hayden never really thought that would be the outcome, you know ? like he knew it was bad , but he was positive they would get through it . the amount of times he thought ‘ no , she’s too young . no , not my daughter . she’ll be fine ’ was a lot . he’s seen cases of parents going through that but he never in his entire life thought that would be his case as well , until he actually went through it
it doesn’t take a genius to guess how upset the situation makes him . hayden becomes very , very depressed , basically drowning himself in his work to try and ignore just how awful he felt . he never thought it would hurt as much as it does . he doesn’t think he could put it into words just how painful it is , not in french , not in english , not in any language
he has a mental breakdown so bad , he impulsively goes into his bathroom and shaves his entire head and eyebrows . i’m not even talking like a buzzcut , no , straight up just bald and no eyebrows . not a look on him , but he’s in such a bad place , he doesn’t care . after being clean for more than half a decade , he breaks his sobriety , literally .... becomes a mess
eventually , his hair and eyebrows grow back , but he’s really never the same person again . this is how he ends up in shrike really – living in denver with all those memories is just too painful for him , legit goes to a small town where no one knows a thing about him or his story
he’s back to his old habits because he really doesn’t give a fuck anymore . like , he genuinely feels like he has nothing left to live for even though he’s so young . he feels tired and worn out and really , really sad , but he never shows this side of himself
instead , he’s dwelled on becoming the party animal guy . he’s that friend you call up to drink , smoke , or just get high with . he’s back to his fast paced lifestyle and he couldn’t care less . it’s gotten to a point where he doesn’t care if he takes it too far . like .... he just doesn’t give a single flying fuck anymore watch him drinking at the job ( even though he’s a bartender so it’s gucci but )
his existence has become rather empty . getting high and getting drunk , barely sleeping , doing chaotic shit that could get him arrested . again , he just feels like he has nothing to live for ,desperately needs therapy even though he’ll probably never go bless him
he hates being alone ! not even because it scares him or anything , but because he thinks too much when he is . he hates being alone with his own thoughts , dead ass always wants to be with someone or high on something because he just hates thinking
has the name ‘ hayley ’ tattooed on his wrist , with a little angel underneath . will probably tell you it was a drunk tattoo if asked even though it obviously wasn’t
hayden doesn’t really do relationships after what happened in his last one . he would like one , but doesn’t like putting in all the effort , huge on hookups and meaningless sex because it’s become his life
he loves taking pictures ! has a polaroid camera which was literally the only thing he took from his house when he left . he’ll take pictures wherever he goes as he claims pictures are the perfect way to ‘ capture life’s moments ’ . he has a ton of pictures of his daughter
got his aa , but never furthered his education
i’m going to end this here because this is getting long , but below is his birth chart ! i’m still figuring him out so i might edit this later on ? who knows tbh
wanted connections
apartment complex buds : these two live in the same apartment complex and have become friends through there , probably party together and get into all sorts of shenanigans , huge ride or die energy here
strawberry fields forever : give me someone he did acid with . it wasn’t hayden’s first time dropping acid , but it was your muses’ first time , so this could be a pretty fun connection depending on their reaction !
my ghost , where’d you go ? : fwbs that ghosted each other 😀 maybe they thought things were becoming too real and dipped ? could be a fun connection to work out
why’d you only call me when you’re high ? : fwbs that only hook up when they’re under the influence . hayden will call them up at three am like ‘ where are you ? ’ . big dumb energy in this connection right here
coming down : someone who tries to be a good influence on him . they could be there for him whenever he comes down , but this person’s efforts are probably are for nothing because he’s fucked up 💜
young gods : a muse maybe ? someone he takes pictures of ? he’s all ‘ wait don’t move ’ *snaps pic*
or we can brainstorm !
