to anyone,
do you ever feel like your life is over before itās even really begun?
i am blessed in so many ways that i know others arenāt. every day, i try to remind myself of these blessings and i pray that i can learn to appreciate them more.
but iām just so unhappy. so pessimistic. all the time.
i feel like iāve wasted my 21 years in life so far just trying to prove myself to people and have just ended up tearing myself down in the process. not only that, my family being so restrictive and wanting me to keep up the perfect little girl image for the sake of our family name and reputationā¦i think itās ruining me. i donāt think i can meet the standards that my parents want me to meet. i donāt think i can make my family proud. i donāt think iām smart enough, and i donāt think iāll find someone to marry that my family would approve of.
i donāt think iāll ever be the successful, āhigh-classā lady iāve been pressured to be my entire life.
maybe this is me being dramatic and ungrateful. maybe iām just too caught up in my emotions and need to suck it up and face the real world.
but iām tired of maintaining this face.
-j

















