titsay
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Monterey Bay Aquarium
untitled
Cosmic Funnies
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
almost home
Kiana Khansmith
PR's Tumblrdome
taylor price
★
Noah Kahan
if i look back, i am lost
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
$LAYYYTER
@theartofmadeline
The Stonewall Inn
Game Changer & Make Some Noise
macklin celebrini has autism
seen from Romania
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seen from United States
seen from Kenya
seen from Malaysia
seen from Germany
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Bolivia
seen from United States
seen from Serbia
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Italy
seen from United States
seen from United States
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seen from Türkiye
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@hazzard2myself
I can’t know anything if you don’t talk to me. I’m not a mind reader and I’m not the most attentive human being on the planet. I’m not perfect okay? And short answering me and acting like I should know what’s going on doesnt work
I have a limit, and they are fucking reaching it. Look you got a problem with me fucking say it don’t sit there and rub your boyfriend in my girls face because you have some sort of insecurity then pop off all your problems in a group chat and then say “but let’s not talk about that” because you’re literally inviting people to do that.
I’m easy to get along with but this shit is getting stupid.
I’m going to figure this out, so I won’t hurt you, I don’t care how many books I have to read or places I got to visit, we’ll figure it out.
Andy Moodboard
-I made this as kind of a conglomeration of everything he is and how his mind works. He’s 29, but he was an only child, he grew up kinda like I did, on his parents music and a little older than he seems. Andy is always about being your own hero, that you’re the one who decides what your life is and how you want to live it so the “be your own hero” is a big one. I put KISS because well, KISS is a big part of his life and why he does what he does with music. The Batman cowl because he’s a massive Batman fan, if you’ve seen his batman collection, you know haha. I used “Kind of a Pretty Boy isn’t he?” because LOOK.AT.HIM. The holding hands is there for Mykie, because he really does truly deeply love her, I play him as a guy who throws himself into a relationship with his whole being, because he’s always seemed so passionate. The pants chain and tattooed arm because it just fit his aesthetic, then the demon mouth for the incubus part of him he’s always battling, afraid if he gets too heated he’ll hurt her, but it’s always kind of in the dark for him, he tries to ignore that part of him because he doesn’t want it to define him.
I shouldn’t be this terrified to have sex with my girlfriend, but my what if is going haywire. What if I hurt Mykie like I did her? What if lose control? How do I explain what the hell I am and that hey guess what? I don’t want her to think I’m not interested but I am, I’m so interested and I love her so much, I never thought I’d love someone again but here I am head over heels for this beautiful, funny, smart woman I’m planning a weekend trip to Vegas with and texting good mornings to and spamming her feed with likes just because I want her to know I’m thinking about her.
Breakfast with mykie was nice, I got out of my head for a little bit and actually joked and laughed for once without feeling forced. I’m also so glad everyone has liked the album.
Now I’m just waiting for the shit to go bad again.
“Have you ever laid in bed at night? And thought about everything? Wanting to scream and cry but, don’t want to wake anyone. Instead you just sit there and the pain just breaks inside of you.”
— Unknown
I’m entirely too afraid to let people get close again. I don’t know why I’m so fucked up because I’ve probably messed up so many opportunities for a relationship due to keeping them at arms length. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but when it interferes with even friendships I don’t know what else to do with myself. It’s like someone messages me and I panic, I absolutely lose my shit afraid I’m going to do something stupid and I have to remind myself Andy you dipshit you aren’t going to hurt anyone by just talking to them, but then I also just push people away too.
And that’s why I’m constantly lonely I guess huh?
I’m so scared to let people get close to me. I’ll start feeling an attraction to someone, enjoy their company and think that maybe we could have something, then my anxiety cuts in, and reminds me that hey, by the way, your last relationship ended terribly, and it was like, the majority of your fault so you can’t let people in anymore. I just don’t want to feel alone anymore, it’s painful and I don’t think I can handle it. But if I were to hurt someone, someone I cared about, I don’t think I’d come back from it this time.
I’ve been left alone with my own thoughts again and I know it’s my own damn fault. This whole can’t leave your house shit has got to let up because it’s digging into me pretty badly, I haven’t slept and I know I need to and I keep isolating which is bad. Jawn messaged me outta the blue checking on me and it was kinda nice, but I told him I was alright like a reflex. I’m just not good at talking about shit and I’d rather joke about it than be serious, worrying people isn’t my forte.
I also worry about her, I hope she’s safe and they are doing extra measures. It’s around the time I usually visit, but all I can do is send flowers and she doesn’t even know they’re from me, which is probably a good thing.
I’m so sleep deprived I’m energetic. I don’t know if this is some kind of sign I’m about to just crash and burn or what. I’ve also not been talking with people, or at people. I don’t understand what’s wrong with me but it’s like I’m spiraling out of control and can’t stop. I’m also drunk, again, for the sixth night and I keep telling myself not again but here I am. I don’t even know what day it is if I’m completely fucking honest.
I fell asleep in the library again too, it was nice to help PW with his problem, now if I can just figure out if there’s a reversal, a fix, something to undo what I’ve done. Fix my own problems, when I do that I’ll eat my own shoe.
Sex shouldn’t consist of me just up and leaving after we’re done. I shouldn’t have, but I did, and I’m terrified that I felt better afterwards, christ do I feel good afterwards. Then why have I drank an entire bottle of Merlot in one sitting and now my heads all fuzzy and I keep laughing at everything? I’m sitting here near lunch time already blitzed watching Harry Potter and slurring up the words in it and laughing at myself.
I also visited her last week, she doesn’t know who I am, and I think that’s best. She seems...happy? If being absolutely out of your head most of the time is happy. She showed me her blanket she’s been knitting, it was gorgeous, like her eyes. Her mom kept thanking me for visiting, honey if you only knew I’m the reason she’s fucked up now. You’d lead the mob to burn me at the stake.
