whistle down the wind

@hbuellis-blog

hello! i'm ellis pemberley. i divide my time between thistle do nicely florist's and living it up as a beekeeper. i can provide you with flowers, honey and, as my brother would say, good banter!

76 posts

.cathalgtfo:

Aye, I’ve heard my fair share abou’ Bennett from Ror’.

Aw, ye know, tha’s actually sorta cute. I think I can definitely share with this Henry lad. Though I hope he an’ mountain girl do fall in love, jus’ tha’ I hope he doesn’t leave ye forever an’ all tha’. Already I like ye more than most, so I can’t see tha’ happening. An’ as for yer grumpy pal Barry, sure, Christ, I’d say he’s fierce lucky t’have ye forcin’ yer way into his life, no? I hope Rory’s readin’ this. An’ your Barry, too. Wha’s tha’ song? Yer all I need t’get by?

Oh, I’m sure. I promise he’s not quite as bad as Rory probably made him out to be.

He and mountain girl deserve to fall in love and I’ll be the happiest person in the world if they do! Ohhhh, I have a feeling that Barry thinks I’m quite annoying. I’m sure he doesn’t feel lucky at all. I’m... not sure I know that song?

.cathalgtfo:

Sorry, i’ll mind me language. If it makes ye feel any better, I only ever use the c-bomb when talking abou’ people who deserve it. So ye probably won’t hear it again any time soon. Aye, an’ I make the cut already, yeah? Like, Darragh can get t’fuck, let’s talk abou’ me, ha!

Eh… Ye lost me. Who’s Henry, an’ what’s a mountain girl? An’ who’s Barry? Is he as bad as Ror’, so? Wait, rewind. Why doesn’t he count ye as a friend? Sounds like a bit of a tosser t’me. But stealing ye this instant, I can do tha’!

It’s alright, really. My brother, Bennett, says worse. Yes, we can definitely talk alllll about you!

Henry is my other best friend and he has a new friend that I think is a special friend and she comes from the mountains. But not in a ‘lives-in-the-caves’ sort of way. She’s from Virginia! Barry is my niece’s teacher and I pushed my way into his life of grumpiness and didn’t give him a say in the matter, so I don’t think I’m actually his friend. He’s mine though! Not that it matters, because now you’re my one and only.

.cathalgtfo:

Oh aye, top fella so he is. Nah, he’s a bit of a cunt in all honesty, but ye didn’t hear tha’ from me. An’ if my mam asks, I didn’t call him a cunt. What’s Murphylike, though? Do we have our own brand, aye?

S’tha’ so, aye? I’m yer only best friend? Well, Rory Murphy, eat yer heart out! We’ve a new boyo in town, an’ he’s out here stealin’ yer girls. Jus’, in a gay way.

Ooft, you’re very to the point! But I admire that. Murphylike is being adorable and irish and making me fall in love with you to at least some degree, and Darragh doesn’t make the cut.

I mean, I have Henry as well but when Henry marries his mountain girl I’m worried that I will be friendless forever. Barry says he won’t get married though so I shouldn’t worry about him, but also I don’t think he counts me as a friend. So please steal me!

.cathalgtfo:

I can’t make any promises on Rory’s behalf, but I’ll do me best. Not a fan of wakin’ up every day to a shiner, so I think I’ll behave for now. Aye, sure, with all of us over here now no doubt ye’ll meet her in no time!

Tha’ sounds perfect. I think I can make space in my life for two best friends, though. Ye don’t have to be substitute or nothin’.

A shiner? He’s that bad? That doesn’t seem very... Murphylike at all.

Well, that’s good! I suppose I could have had two best friends as well but I’ve already left Rory a note on the fridge telling him that you’ve replaced him.

.cathalgtfo:

Aye. I mean, she’s probably sensible t’be afraid of him, but… Ror’ an’ I don’t always do sensible. Aye, I think we’re all a wee bit more fond of him than we like t’let on. Well, ‘cept mam. She’s very vocal about how much she loves her Rorykins.

Oh, I plan on it. In a very cute, friendly, an’ not creepy, stalker-y way. I dunno what that migh’ entail, but I’ll keep ye posted!

Sensible but not fair at all. I don’t like that one bit. But I want you boys to be careful too. Your mom sounds so cute, I really hope I get to meet her one day!

Please keep me posted! In the meantime, I’ll be your substitute best friend who keeps you well fed with pizza!

.cathalgtfo:

Aye. Well, ye can mention him if y’want. Ror’ an’ I never shy away, but I think tha’s why Aoife was dubious enough t’even come here with me in th’first place, so. Your call. Ye can meet her whenever ye so wish, she’ll love you. If ye like Sham ye’ll love Aoife, she’s a wee softy in all honesty. Nothin’ like our Ror’. Hm, I’d say ye’re righ’. No gettin’ rid of him, is there?

Ehhh, no. No figh’, loike, bu’… I’ve not heard from him in a while, an’… I dunno, I miss him, anyway, so.

Well, that doesn’t seem right. Is she scared of him? I’m sure I’ll love Aoife! Unfortunately, I think I’m more fond of Rory than I’ll ever truly let on. Not enough to marry him before your mom gets any ideas, but still.

You should definitely track him down now that you’re in the city! In a cute, friendly way and not a creepy, stalker-y way!

.cathalgtfo:

Ye’re the youngest an’ only girly? Well, cripes! Here, ye should get chattin’ t’Aoife. There’s technically tha’ many of us if y’include Sham and the shitstain, she knows somethin’ abou’ being the youngest girly. Oooh, ye’re on t’somethin’ there, yeah. See, it sounds good, but we’d have to ship Rory off to Timbuktu or somethin’. But aye, alrigh’. We’ll work somethin’ out.

Ehhh, well. I dunno, I reckon I’ve ended meself in his bad books, or somethin’. I haven’t spoken t’him yet now that I’m here, sure I don’t even know if he knows I’m here… But, I’m hopin’ to get it all, ye know, ironed out an’ all tha.

is the shitstain Darr- someone I shouldn’t name on the internet? When can I meet Aoife, I want to give her my condolences if being the youngest girl for her is the same as it is for me. Oh, I’m not sure I want Rory to go that far away.

Nooooo, did the two of you have a fight? And you’re not speaking anymore? This won’t do.

.cathalgtfo:

Oooh, so have ye sisters? Brothers? Are ye th’youngest, or th’oldest? How many nieces and nephews d’ye have? Am I goin’ on too much, here? Tell me t’stop anytime soon. But egos, egos I can manage. I’ve lived with Ror’ long enough for tha’, so we’re grand there. Yes! Adopt me, rub it in, an’ I’ll get started on the Ellmus campaign. Hm. Ellmus? Séallis? Murpherley? I dunno, s’a work in progress. But aye, no. He’s in New York, actually.

I have four older brothers and six nieces and nephews in total! Oh, and I’m the youngest out of all my siblings. Please, you’re not going on too much at all. Ooh, see, I like Murpherley because it’s fun to say and I’ve been saying it to myself ten times over at my computer but I also feel like it’s dangerous to call us that because Rory would claim it for himself and you know he would.

Wait wait wait, why is it complicated then? Surely it’d be less complicated now that you’re both here?

.cathalgtfo:

Sounds like a plan, girly! Oh, I dunno. There’s a lot more of us back home. The Irish breed like rabbit,s it’s obscene. What about yerself, so? Tell me about the Pemberleys. Are ye a big family, a small family, d’ye have room to adopt a tiny wayward Irish lad lookin’ to hide from his nutty family? Well I liked the puppy, just not arriving t’New York with wet shoes. But aye, it’s a deal! Well, a sorta deal. Ye’re not so much my first best friend, I kinda have one’a those. Well, sorta. Long and confusin’ story, but I welcome ye with open arms.

Well, the Pemberleys are a pretty big clan. There’s five of us and then my nieces and nephews and all my cousin. And I haven’t even mentioned our egos yet which will take up about six rows at the wedding ceremony. But we’re very charitable and I definitely want to adopt you and then rub it in Rory’s face. Oh no, did you leave your actual best friend and my evil competition behind in Ireland?

.cathalgtfo:

An’ here I thought this was common knowledge, no? I dunno if I can divulge over th’internet an’ all that, but… Well, it’s juicy, for sure. If ye do manage to wriggle yer way in, though, know that I will be very happy to be related to you, by proxy an’ all tha’. Though it does mean y’have to deal with the absolute madness tha’ is our family, so fair warnin’ there. Sure, tha’s soundos with me, girly! I’ve wracked up a grand total of zero friends on arrival, unless y’count the wee pup tha’ peed on my shoe while we were waitin’ for Séamus to collect us from the airport. While I think we had a connection of sorts, I’m all for being yer new bestie.

Ooh, I love juicy! You’ll need to tell me when you come over. Oh, I’m sure I can handle the Murphys. I’m just not sure you guys will be able to deal with organising a wedding alongside the crazy Pemberleys. I think that just meant the puppy liked you, but I’m still excited to be your first friend! First best friend actually. I hope you tell any future friends from here on out that I got here first.

.cathalgtfo:

Ooooohh, hold on girly! Have y’got yer eye on Sham? Jus’, I’m all abou’ this. I mean, word on th’street is he’s got his eye on someone, but I fully endorse this. See, Ror’? He doesn’t deserve ye. Séamus, though. I’m abou’ tha’. I say go fer it. Sure, it’ll make it better if it becomes a regular occurrence, ye know? Really grind his gears an’ all tha’. Eh… Rory? Our Rory? As in, Ruairí Colm Murphy, first of his name, eldest of the lot, ex-Irish Dancer and current pain in everyone’s backside? That Rory? Ye’ve really gone an’ changed him, so! Jesus, I’m lovin’ this. I dunno, Ellis, sounds like our Ror’ has himself a wee soft spot for ye. Or maybe it’s just cos I’m his baby brother an’ it’s his job to wind me up?

Who does he have his eye on? I’ll be able to nurse my broken heart a lot quicker if I can invest myself in his soon-to-be relationship. But if I can still wriggle my way in there, know that I will. Hmm, I like to think that Rory has a soft spot for me because that makes me feel special, but I’m more than willing to share said soft spot with his future husband or wife. And you because you’re cute and I’ve decided we’re going to be the best of friends.

.cathalgtfo:

Aren’t ye sweet as pie? See, this is what’s gonna make it so hard t’break th’news to me mam. She’d love ye if she met ye. Well, t’be honest, she already does, but ye know. I migh’ have t’stick her on th’phone t’ye when I call over for tha’ pizza. Ye know, so ye can be th’one to break th’news. Aw lad. While this is definitely not territory I wanna be enterin’ regardin’ my own brother, I so feel ye on the earplug issue. I started blastin’ ‘push it’ by salt ‘n’ peppa one nigh’ when he came in with some poor misfortune, an’ I’ve never seen a fella run faster in all me life. Aye, y’reckon so? I think Rory’s had a bit of an impact on you, has he? Miss Miracle Maker, over here!

I am being sweet, yes. It’s one of my better qualities, but I’m also being smug right now which is one of my worse ones. I hope your mom will be okay with me not becoming a Murphy. Unless Séamus will have me. So let’s not break the news to her just yet. I can’t believe you played ‘Push It’, that’s so funny. Is that a copyrighted move or can I use that for next time? Weeeeell, I just know he’s a big teddy bear who always takes care of me if I’m sick or upset. And when he finds the right guy or girl, they’ll get to see that teddy-bear... ness, as well!

.cathalgtfo:

That ye can shame him for. Shame him t’yer heart’s content, girl. Here, is there really nowhere ye can go when he does tha’? Or, better yet, is there really nowhere he can go? Seem’s fair harsh that ye’re the one tha’ has to suffer, aye? Oh, aye? Tha’ so? I think ye have higher hopes in m’brother than I do, so. Like, I love him t’bits an’ all tha’, but… He hasn’t had an actual relationship for loike seven years, now. Good luck to th’girl or guy tha’ changes his mind, I say.

Awww, you say ‘girl’ just like Rory does! I need to have a quick emotional moment over how much I love the Murphys. Okay, moving on! Sometimes he goes home with someone else but most of the time he forgets that he has a very sleepy roommate who constantly forgets to buy earplugs. Just you wait and see, Cathal Non-Believer Murphy. Rory will surprise us all!

.cathalgtfo:

It’s not so much slut shamin’ though, is it? Sure, I don’t think there’s anythin’ wrong with havin’ some fun, but Rory’s just a bit disgustin’ in every capacity. An’ I mean that in the most brotherly lovin’ way possible. Aye, she’s not so bad. She’s, like, dead set tha’ one of us is gonna bring her home some new inlaws from the big city. Though, Rory’s currently the only frontrunner on the granchildren front, an’ I don’t see that happenin’ anytime in the next million years, d’ye?

Well, I guess. Maybe it’s more shaming him for kicking me out of my bedroom so he can have a fling. And the loose spring in the couch makes it all justified. You never know! I have complete and total faith that Rory is going to find someone that he’ll fall in love with forever and ever! He just needs to get his anti-monogamy views out of his system first...

.cathalgtfo:

Is th’reason cos my brother’s disgustin’? It’s okay, ye can say it’s cos he’s disgustin’. An’ is the reason he’s abandoned ye also cos he’s disgustin’? I’m jus’ sayin’, I think i’m sensin’ a theme here, ye know. I’ll have to give me ma a phone there in a sec, let her down gently that ye’re not soon t’be a Murphy girl.

I don’t want it to look like I’m slut shaming my best friend on the internet but I guess that’s exactly what I’m doing. Oh my goodness, your mom is soooo cute. But please tell her I’m very sorry and that I don’t have any plans to marry Rory.

.cathalgtfo:

Well exactly. And technically I’m free reign t’hop in an’ out’a yer apartment when I see fit cos Rory’s m’big brother an’ all. ‘Course, he sorta told me I should do the opposite of tha’. But, eh, pizza.

Trust me, you wouldn’t be the first person to hop in and out of our apartment. I use the sofa bed four days a week for a reason! So you can ignore what Rory says and come and have pizza with me because he’s abandoned me tonight too.

.cathalgtfo:

One a scale’a one t’ten how weird is it t’accept pizza off’a random stranger on t’internet? Alrigh’, no, i’m mostly kiddin’, but only cos Rory sends mam pics of ye all th’time so I know who ye are!

Cathal! You’re so silly, we both know I’m not a stranger to you. I mean, I suppose I am a little bit because we’ve never met, but I still think it’s acceptable for you to agree to have pizza with me.

whistle down the wind @hbuellis-blog - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag