mumu with cass

muses at hcneyjarwrites

[hcneyjar]

hargitay​:

Being back didn’t seem like it was going to make anything better. She thought maybe if she was with her sister she’d find peace again. Yet, she had missed so much of her sister’s life over the last four years. She had missed so much of everyone’s life. She wasn’t the same, no one else was the same. Azra moved, curling up into Nadia the best she could as the tears continued to escape her. She felt alone, even in this moment as Nadia listed off the family that she did have. Even with Nadia being there in that moment. She felt entirely alone. “I don’t want help,” she managed to muster up. “I just want it all to end. I just want-” to not wake up? To actively attempt? She wasn’t sure. Both were true to an extent. “I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be anywhere Nadia and I don’t know if anything is going to ever change that.” 

Azra moved to her, curling up against her. Her hand moved to stroke Azra’s hair, pressing her lips to the top of her head. Tears continued to fall down her own cheeks as she listened to her sister talk about not wanting to be in the same world as the rest of them. To simply not exist. “Azra,” she swallowed back a sob, not wanting her sister to hear her cry or feel this way. If she could take all of Azra’s pain and bring it to herself, she would. Nadia didn’t even know what to say to her at this point. What could she say about her baby sister wanting to not be anywhere. “I love you so much and I want to see you happy again. You have the brightest smile I know. Don’t let this place get you down. Those people get you down. You are so much more than all the gossip, all the rumors.”

[hcneyjar]

hargitay​:

“You would have come crawling back,” Mariah smirked, a smug look crossing her face to mask the insecurity she still felt from the whole situation. “Not much longer and you would have been begging,” she hummed, moving her lips in small kisses down Andy’s jaw, “to have my lips on your skin again.” Lips moved down to the nape of Andy’s neck, teeth nipping at her skin playfully. “It would have all worked out in the end,” she murmured, placing another kiss on the spot she had just nipped before trailing her lips back up to Andy’s lips, “Something about soulmates finding their way back to each other and all that.” Mariah laughed, head falling back for a moment at the comment before nodding, “Yes, yes you were always better company. The best company, if you ask me,” she brought her eyes back to meeting Andy’s, “Don’t let that get to your head though. You may have gotten rusty in our time apart.”  

“I don’t doubt that for a second,” Andy teased back at Mariah, knowing the woman was far from wrong. Mariah had been breaking down the walls on Andy for weeks. She didn’t want to admit. Not for a second. She was hoping that she would be able to resist. Only because she was a woman that stuck to her guns. When she walked away from Mariah, she did it for a reason. When the person she loved couldn’t open up to her, to let her in to all the demons, it made her bitter. And yet, at the end of the day, it really didn’t matter. She knew it didn’t and Mariah helped her see that. She loved Mariah. And if it took her ten years, twenty years or never to tell her about her life, she would have loved her regardless. She just thought that she could put on a strong front and show the woman it was all or nothing. When it really wasn’t. “I don’t think I’ve gotten rusty about anything,” she wiggled her brows in the direction of Mariah. “It’s like riding a bike with you.”

[hcneyjar]

hargitay​:

nadia + azra

Being back didn’t seem like it was going to make anything better. She thought maybe if she was with her sister she’d find peace again. Yet, she had missed so much of her sister’s life over the last four years. She had missed so much of everyone’s life. She wasn’t the same, no one else was the same. Azra moved, curling up into Nadia the best she could as the tears continued to escape her. She felt alone, even in this moment as Nadia listed off the family that she did have. Even with Nadia being there in that moment. She felt entirely alone. “I don’t want help,” she managed to muster up. “I just want it all to end. I just want-” to not wake up? To actively attempt? She wasn’t sure. Both were true to an extent. “I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be anywhere Nadia and I don’t know if anything is going to ever change that.” 

Nadia hated to hear her sister talk like that. That she didn’t want help and that she wanted everything to end. There was nothing about that that made an older sister feel good about herself. Even when Nadia knew that it was not about her at all. This was all about Azra and Nadia would drop everything for as long as she could for her sister. “Azra,” she curled up behind her sister, wrapping her arm around the small woman wrapped in the blankets. She nuzzled her nose against the woman’s hair, closing her eyes for a moment. “It’s okay, everything is going to be okay.” She didn’t know that it would and she doubted Azra would even believe it for herself. “You, you are so strong. You know that? And you might not be thinking it right now, but you are strong. So goddamn strong.” Stronger than she could ever be. “I’m goin’ to be here as long as you need.”

[hcneyjar]

hargitay​:

andy + mariah

“You would have come crawling back,” Mariah smirked, a smug look crossing her face to mask the insecurity she still felt from the whole situation. “Not much longer and you would have been begging,” she hummed, moving her lips in small kisses down Andy’s jaw, “to have my lips on your skin again.” Lips moved down to the nape of Andy’s neck, teeth nipping at her skin playfully. “It would have all worked out in the end,” she murmured, placing another kiss on the spot she had just nipped before trailing her lips back up to Andy’s lips, “Something about soulmates finding their way back to each other and all that.” Mariah laughed, head falling back for a moment at the comment before nodding, “Yes, yes you were always better company. The best company, if you ask me,” she brought her eyes back to meeting Andy’s, “Don’t let that get to your head though. You may have gotten rusty in our time apart.”  

“Estas loca,” she murmured to Mariah with a shake of her head. Not that she doubted the woman was wrong. She was that close to running back in the first place. There was something about Mariah that broke her walls down, more than she could ever begin to explain. “I don’t kn-” her lips parted as the words trailed away as Mariah pressed the kisses against her jaw line, down to her neck. As Mariah nipped at her neck a moan left her, tipping her head back in the moment. Her face came forward, meeting Mariah’s lips with her own, “God, I’ve missed you.” She moaned, keeping her hands loosely behind Mariah’s neck. Her fingers toyed with the woman’s hair absentmindedly, “The best company, eh?” Andy raised a brow at the woman, her stomach clenching at the thought, “I’m never rusty, mi amor,” she purred, “You just wait and find out.” 

[hcneyjar]

hargitay​:

leah + natzeli

“We all do shit that ends up one way that we didn’t mean it to,” Zeli noted with a shrug of her shoulders. Taking another drag of her cigarette and blowing the smoke outside before turning her head to look back in at Leah. Her heart ached when Leah said she would see herself out. Was she really back to the naive side of her that believed the other person would fight to stay with her? Would even want to stay with her? Yeah, Zeli was the one who ended stuff a majority of the time, her own therapist used to say that it was because she was scared of people leaving her. Zeli would argue whether it was an actual fear if every time she showed her heart others went running. It was realistic to her. Still, there was a look of pain that crossed her face as she let out a sad, half chuckle and dropped her head down. “Yeah, you can see yourself out,” she shrugged. Taking another drag of her cigarette as she walked fully out on her back deck and slid the door behind her closed with her foot. She wasn’t going to let Leah see how sad her irrational brain was making her. 

Leah partly wanted the woman to chase after her, but she didn’t know what the point would be. When she was clearly torn between Ace and Natzeli, it wouldn’t be fair to lead the woman on anymore. “I am sorry,” she tossed the words over her shoulder, hair hitting her back as she looked back to Zeli. She could say it a thousand times, but would it really mean anything to the woman? Leah knew she didn’t mean to hurt the woman, but that’s not what it looked like. Not to anyone. At this point, not even Leah. She didn’t let her gaze linger on Zeli long, knowing she wouldn’t leave if she did so. “I’ll see you around.” Leah mumbled, slinging the bag over her shoulder, reaching for the door and opening it. The cool breeze hit her bare arms, but it felt better than the guilt riding through her body about leading Zeli on. “Have a good night, Zeli.” She said one last time before stepping through the door. 

[hcneyjar]

hargitay·:

leah + natzeli

Natzeli knocked back half of the second small glass of whiskey before setting the glass down and moving away to the kitchen and towards her other vice. Alcohol wasn’t working and she wanted to smoke. Sliding open her glass door, she quickly lit up a cigarette, shrugging to Leah’s words. She really wasn’t a fan of conversations like this, hence why she never let herself get this far. This was on Natzeli, going back to the basket auction. If she hadn’t pulled Leah away from the single’s mixer the feelings that had started to develop then wouldn’t be where they were now. “Don’t say things like that,” Zeli mumbled, taking another drag of her cigarette. It made her heart ache. “Don’t say I make you feel any way. It’s not.. fair on me. I just told you that I have feelings for you and you’re the one that is seeing someone else. So don’t say shit like that. I’m not going to be involved in some love triangle or some shit like that so I’m giving you the out. Go be with Ace and whoever else you want.”

Leah hated the situation that was in front of her. Light throbbing was beginning to pulse along her temples. She pressed her fingers to dull the oncoming pain, though there would be nothing to heal the breaks in her heart over this. Leah knew that it was stupid - to see two people at once but neither of them ever had talks of exclusive dating and well, she got swept up. Swept up in how amazing and talented and goddamn beautiful Zeli was. And Ace? Well, he was a bad habit that she couldn’t seem to break. No matter how many times she tried over the last few years. She simply kept falling into his sheets after a few drinks. “I- I, Zeli,” Leah shook her head, “I really am sorry, I -I didn’t mean for any of this,” Leah fell short in explanation. Even if she didn’t mean for the feelings to happen, they were there. “I’ll just see myself out.” She ducked her gaze, chewing on her bottom lip a moment before she turned on her heel to head toward the door as she grabbed her bag. 

[hcneyjar]

hargitay·:

nadia + azra

Sobs continued to fall over her. Everything she thought she was, who she was prior to Duke, was gone. She felt like a shell of herself and she couldn’t explain it. Poor life choices were the only thing that came close. How could she not fault herself for that? “I got pregnant. I lost my scholarship and I thought finding someone to take care of me would be fine. I always joked about it with girls in high school ‘Sugar Daddies’,” a safe, wet, laugh leaving her lips as tears continued to wash over her. She didn’t turn to look at her sister as she spoke, not wanting to see Nadia’s face to the news. “He paid for college, so I didn’t have to tell you or mom or anyone else. He paid for my apartment, for food. It wasn’t free though. The things he had me do. With him. With his friends. I got myself into that situation because I was too stubborn to pick up my phone and admit to you that I messed up and that I was in trouble.” She wiped at her eyes, though it was useless, years of built up tears continued to spill, “I lost everything. My career. The potential I had with it. I lost my daughter because I didn’t want her around him. Cause it wasn’t safe for her and I couldn’t get out from under his grip. I lost myself. My self respect. My dignity. My worth.” Her head turned, looking Nadia in the eyes for a moment as she stated, “So yeah, I mean it. I wish she would have shot me.” Turning her head back to face the wall, “I wish she had killed me.” 

Nadia listened intently to Azra, though the words were often hard to hear over the sobs leaving her little sister’s body. In twenty something odd years, Nadia had never seen Azra break down quite like this. It was uncharted territory for the eldest daughter. With one hand still one Azra’s legs, her lips parted at the news of Azra actually partaking in affairs with men that called themselves Sugar Daddies. She had heard of the notion, though she had never done much research herself. For the last six years at least, she had Ricky. And her son. There was no reason. It’s not that Nadia didn’t understand where Azra was coming from or why she did it but she wished that her sister would have come to the family for help instead. “Azra,” she breathed her name, feeling the tears starting to well in her own eyes. She didn’t know what her sister was feeling but there was a growing pit in her stomach as it clenched tightly with the images of her sister being subjected to disgusting men. Hearing her sister say those words still did not sit right with her. It never would. “You are strong, Azra. You made mistakes. I can’t even begin to imagine how you feel,” Nadia swallowed hard, “but you are here with your family now. Your daughter, in the same town, you can get the help you need.” And she certainly hoped that Azra would never be put in a position with a gun again. “You have me, you have mom and dad. You know they’d give anything for you. We all would. Ricky, too.”

[hcneyjar]

hargitay·:

leah + natzeli

Natzeli knew that Leah’s intention was never to hurt her. Natzeli wasn’t sure that she necessarily was hurt, though there was a ping of sorrow that hit her when she realized the weird dreams she had been having recently where when Natzeli finally opened up that Leah would admit she had feelings too wasn’t happening. That was a dream. This is reality. She shook her head, “I’m not hurt.” Or she wouldn’t let herself be, at least. “I know what this was when we started it, trust me. This isn’t on you,” she was trying to remain impartial, distant from the conversation because if she allowed herself to fully fall into it she knew emotions would rise in her. She brought her whiskey up to her lips, knocking back the rest of it before she started to fill the glass again. “I just think that on my end I can’t do this anymore. It’s not fair to either of us. I enjoy our nights together… I so so enjoy them, but given everything I can’t imagine continuing them would do any good for either of us.”

She shook her head. It didn’t feel like it wasn’t on her. Leah was every much a part of this as Natzeli was. She should have realized that there was something more going on - that seeing two people at once would have put her in a situation where she didn’t know how to handle it. “It’s not on you either,” Leah offered, though if Natzeli was already feeling that way, she doubted she would be able to change her mind. Natzeli’s words hurt - because she didn’t want what they had to end and yet, how could they continue? There was nothing about it that would end well, for either of them. Especially not now. “I - I understand,” Leah nodded her head, swallowing hard. “I enjoy them too, I really do.” She looked up at Natzeli, needing to face her, “You have made me feel like no one else has,” she admitted, “but you’re right. It wouldn’t be any good for either of us.” Her gaze fell to the counter top. 

[hcneyjar]

hargitay·:

andy + mariah

Mariah’s eyes stayed fixated on Andy as she tread the water. Darkening slightly with desire, though desire always filled her eyes around the woman she loved, as she watched each piece of clothing fall off. The party tonight had been nice, being around so many people she loved, but nothing compared to one on one time she got to spend with her former future-wife. Mariah bit down on her lip as Andy dove in, waiting to see where she came up. A smile washed over her face, moving towards the other and quickly wrapping her arms over Andy’s shoulders and bringing her in for a heated kiss. Her lips only pulled away when her lungs started to burn for air, to which she chuckled. Forty years old and she felt like a 20 something, in love for the first time. “You are the sexiest, most beautiful, incredible and breathtakingly amazing person I have ever met,” and you could tell with every word how much Mariah truly meant that. There was no one else for the woman. Andy was her forever, she knew that. “I love you,” she whispered, eyes softened as she gazed into Andy’s eyes, “I am so in love with you and I don’t want to spend another day away from you.” The next part came out before Mariah had a chance to think about it, “Move back home, please.” She blinked a few times, backtracking as she stumbled over her words, “I mean… if you want to. If you feel ready to or… It’s okay if you’re not. I promise I will understand.”

Andy sunk into Mariah’s lips. She would have stayed in that moment for forever if she could. Alas, her lungs gave way around the same time as Mariah pulled away. She would never be able to get enough of this woman and walking away from her was the stupidest decision she had ever made in her entire life. Andy shook her head with Mariah’s words. “Forty has made you crazier than before,” she mumbled in response, though a smile toyed on the corner of her lips. Compliments leaving Mariah’s lips were ones that Andy found herself actually believing. She didn’t - not at first, but Mariah was capable of making her feel sexy and beautiful and even when she was covered in grease. Andy had never been one to feel those things, always feeling indifferent about herself over the years. “I love you,” she whispered back. It was the truth. She did. She had never stopped. Andy’s lips parted with Mariah’s question. It wasn’t what she had expected and yet, there was nothing stopping the words from leaving her lips. “Yes.” She nodded her head, “I’ll move back in.” Andy pressed her lips up against Mariah’s again, “I’m never leaving again.” She mumbled against the woman, lips trailing down her wet chin to her neck. 

[hcneyjar]

hargitay·:

andy + mariah

The party had been great, Mariah could admit that, but having Andy there had been the best part of it. A couple months prior she had feared she would be bringing in 40 without Andy by her side, which was something she did not want, and tonight she had spent most of the night sneaking off to make out with Andy at every chance she got. Things were still far from perfect but they were there, in the moment, together like they used to spend every night. There was nothing more that Mariah could ask for. Andy was the only woman who made her heart soar, that made her feel loved and seen. Not only for who she had become in spite of her past, but who she was because of it. A smile, that never left her face, was broken by her biting down on her bottom lip at Andy’s words. “That’s dangerous to say,” she murmured, “I may be old but I’m not against having my desert right here on this kitchen counter, yanno?” The desert, clearly, being the other woman. Pressing another kiss to Andy’s lips, she pulled away only to bring her shirt over her head and toss it to the ground as she started towards the sliding door that led out to her back porch. Stripping herself of her bra as she walked backwards, purring out, “C’mon baby. I wanna swim.” Next came her pants and then her final piece of clothing before she dove into the deep end. Coming up from under the water, a kink in her eyebrow as she looked over at the love of her life. 

“Mi amor,” Andy purred with the woman’s words. She would have no problem having Mariah right now and here in the kitchen if it’s what she wanted. There was something about the woman that could make her own engine rumble in the pit of her stomach. Mariah was completely capable of working her up and always leaving her wanting more. Andy moaned into the kiss, watching as Mariah slipped out of her clothes as she headed toward the back door. Even at forty, Mariah looked better than ever. Though, the woman she was in love with kept in shape. And damn, did it show. Andy couldn’t help but follow Mariah toward the sliding door as she slipped out of her bra. She watched as the brunette dove into the deep end of the pull, glistening in the water as she emerged from the under the water. She stood, watching Mariah a moment before she began to remove her own clothes. She slipped her fingers under the hem of her own shirt, tossing it off to the side before shimming down her jeans. They were discarded easily. She never took her eyes off of Mariah. Not once. Not even as she unclipped her bra, letting it fall to the ground in front of her, underwear basically falling from her hips. “God you’re beautiful.” Andy told her, shaking her head a moment before diving into the dive end after her. “You are the hottest woman I’ve ever met in my life.” She sputtered as she came up from the water, swimming up to Mariah. 

[hcneyjar]

hargitay·:

leah + natzeli

Natzeli watched her glass as it filled halfway up with brown liquor, ready to knock back it all. Rarely did Natzeli let a woman into her bed for more than a couple nights, yet she had found Leah so intoxicating. Plus, they were friends. She hadn’t laughed as hard, let go as much, or genuinely cared about someone other than her family so much than she did with Leah. Now she was ruining it, because she was doing what she told herself to never do again. Fall for her. She brought the glass to her lips, taking a swig of her whiskey as she thought about how to answer the question. She could easily be cold, get Leah to leave. Anger was what Zeli knew best. She knew how to drive people away if she wanted to. She also knew that wasn’t healthy. Years of training for her job made that apparent, even if she seldom listened to the advice she gave her clients. Setting the glass back down, her voice was clear. Even though she tried to mask the vulnerability, it peaked out in certain parts, “I told myself I wouldn’t fall for someone again and yet here I am,” she shifted her eyes up to Leah and then away again, “I can’t go through this again. The whole liking someone who is into someone else. I won’t.” They were different scenarios, sure. Zeli and Leah weren’t dating, Natzeli and her ex had been. Being cheated on could really fuck over a person’s trust. Zeli was a prime example of that. 

Being friends with Natzeli certainly came with more perks than the woman normally had in her friends. Not that she was complaining - not one bit. Leah watched as she sipped on her drink, not answering her question for a moment. She kept her gaze on Zeli as she listened to the woman’s words. Her gaze fell to the counter top as she swallowed hard. She found herself in a position she hadn’t meant to put herself in. Having feelings for both Natzeli and Ace, well it seemed to put her in more of a predicament than she would have expected. She thought both of these situations would be no feelings involved. Yet, now she was standing in front of Zeli, listening to the woman tell her that she did in fact see herself falling for the cop. Leah’s shoulders slumped as she looked back up at Zeli, “My intention was never to hurt you.” She shook her head. That was never anyone’s intention. “I just, I enjoy both your company and,” she paused, not knowing how to say it, “I really don’t know how either are going to go from here? I hadn’t - I hadn’t expected to get this far.”

[hcneyjar]

hargitay·:

nadia + azra

Azra wanted more than anything to fight having her sister there. Her soothing nature, her calming tone, the fact that Azra could actually tell that Nadia cared about her? Everything that Azra didn’t need in this moment because she knew what was gonna happen. What did happen the minute she felt the hand on her legs. Tears. Too many tears. A gentle sob fell over her shoulders, her shoulders heaving under the blanket as she curled herself up into an even smaller ball, if that was even possible. She was too tired to fight it off. To keep the wall she built form crumbling. “I don’t know where to start,” she admitted quietly, her voice cracking. “I mean, I told you about Olivia. That was hard enough to see your reaction to that,” she wiped at her eyes with the comforter, “If you knew about what happened at Duke. What I did to pay for school when I lost my scholarship. Who I got involved with. Why I actually came back home. You wouldn’t be able to look at me the same.” She paused, the wetness in her voice was thick from the tears. She felt like a little girl, she hated it. She tried so hard to be strong, to be independent. She was anything but. Especially not in this moment. She mumbled, mainly to herself, but with the quiet of the room she bet that Nadia could hear her even if it wasn’t meant to be heard, “I wish Leah would have just shot me.” 

Nadia brought her other hand to her mouth as a sob escaped Azra. Her sister. God, her sister did not show emotions often. She had been surprised enough by the small breakthrough earlier last week when Azra revealed that she was a mother. The moment was so brief, so short-lived, breaking Nadia’s heart even more. She listened to her sister, her hand resting on her leg still as the woman’s voice cracked. She hated to see her sister in this position. And not because Nadia thought her sister being vulnerable was a bad thing, but because Azra prided herself on not showing emotion that something had clearly been eating up at her this badly and Nadia had failed to see it in her sister’s return to town shortly ago. “That’s not true,” she spoke softly to her sister. Nothing was further from the truth. It didn’t matter what Azra did, Nadia would continue to love her sister, to support her. They may not be blood, but she was everything to Nadia. “Azra,” she felt her own voice crack at her last words. She had briefly heard what happened with the cop but she hadn’t brought it up to Azra. “Don’t say that. You don’t mean that.” She shifted her position, crawling up next to her sister. She wrapped her arms around her, as much as she could with the blankets. “You did what you had to do to get by and you did it all on your own. There is nothing anyone can fault you for.” 

[hcneyjar]

hargitay·:

andy + mariah

“No. You don’t,” she repeated, a small hum leaving her lips, “And it’s my birthday so what I say goes and I say that you shouldn’t be cleaning up any of this.” Besides, cleaning was one of Mariah’s favorite things to do. She actually looked forward to tomorrow when she got to scrub the house back to picture perfect normalcy. Setting the bottle she had picked up down, she moved her arms to wrap around Andy’s shoulders. Pressing her body up against Andy, she leaned in, placing a return soft kiss to her lips, “I did hide them for us. I wasn’t about to let pretzels be the only thing left for us.” Shifting their position so Andy was pressed up against the kitchen island, she bit down on her bottom lip, “Wanna go for a swim first though?” She kinked her eyebrow up playfully, “I don’t think it’s illegal to skinny dip if it’s in your own back yard, right?” 

“I mean if the birthday woman says so,” she tilted her head to the side, “Who am I to go against the birthday woman?” And she knew Mariah would do a far better job of cleaning up after the party than Andy would. they both knew it. She rested her hands on Mariah’s waist as the woman wrapped her arms up around her neck to return to the kiss. God. To think that she almost gave this up for good. She was glad that Mariah pushed as hard as she did to get the two of them back to some sense of normalcy. Her life had not been the same without Mariah in it. Andy smiled down at her as she was pressed up against the counter top. Mariah knew how to make her feel like it was the first time with her every time. The butterflies in her stomach would not stop fluttering and the way her heart wouldn’t stop beating in her chest - it was a feeling she never wanted to give up again. “Even if it is, all the more reason to do it.” Andy teased, leaning down and pressing a kiss to the woman’s lips as she toyed with the hem of Mariah’s shirt. “You just better hope I let you get that far.” 

[hcneyjar]

hargitay·:

nadia + azra

Azra let out a small groan, stepping back into her room and letting Nadia come in after her. “Just shut the door, please,” she murmured. She had no plans to chat about what was going on. It was only a matter of time before it got out about Azra’s little incident with police, if Leah hadn’t already called Nadia herself. She was all but two seconds away from being involuntarily committed to a hospital if she hadn’t agreed to Leah taking her home to her parents home. “Nothing is going on. I’ve just been a little stressed,” she stated, climbing back into the cocoon she had made in her bed. Pulling her comforter and weighted blanket around her like it was the only thing that would keep her alive. She more silent she stayed, the more her thoughts started flooding her again. Tears filled her eyes, but she turned to face the wall like she had been prior to the knock on the door. “I’m sure you have better things to do than be here with me,” she stated quietly.

Nadia shut the door behind her at Azra’s request. She watched as her sister went and wrapped herself up into a cocoon in her bed. Nadia stood a moment by the door, Azra turning to face the wall. She knew something was going on with her sister and it was a hell of a lot more than stress that was bothering the younger woman. “Azra, we both know that’s a lie.” While her sister might be stressed, it wasn’t all that was going on with her. She moved to sit on the edge of her sister’s bed, placing her hand over the blankets on Azra’s legs. “Nothin’ is more important than family, Azra. You know that is the truth comin’ from me.” From Ricky, her son Logan, her parents and Azra, Nadia would drop anything and everything for them in their. time of need. Not that it didn’t include the fact that Nadia would basically do that for anyone in need at the end of the day. She was far too giving of herself, but especially when it came to Azra and since Azra has been home, she’s been inserting herself into her life a lot more. “You know you can tell me anythin’.”

[hcneyjar]

hargitay·:

leah + natzeli

For starters. Natzeli felt like there was nothing left to say at this point. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to outright admit that her heart had broken her firmly set rule: don’t fall for the people you sleep with. She’d done that before. She couldn’t do it again. Yet here she was, her heart hurting in a way she swore she wouldn’t let it again. Even if this hurt was not as significant as the last time, she knew it would only be a matter of time before it became that if she continued to let this go on. “But you want him to wonder where you are, don’t you?” she responded, trying to be matter of fact about it. “Look, I just,” she started, shaking her head and deciding not to finish her sentence. “Never mind,” she mumbled, moving to grab a glass and her bottle of whiskey. She needed a drink. 

Leah furrowed her brows with Natzeli’s words. Was the woman being serious right now? That she wanted Ace to wonder where she was? “Zeli,” she shook her head, fighting back the urge to reach out and touch the woman’s hand. “That’s not the case at all.” What she and Ace had? Well, it certainly wasn’t going anywhere and she wasn’t sure how she felt about all of it. But right now? Right now she was with Natzeli. That was what mattered to her. “C’mon,” she set her hands on the counter, shoulders slumping, “What’s going on?”

[hcneyjar]

hargitay·:

leah + natzeli

@therallywrites·

Natzeli really couldn’t believe she was in this position again. She told herself long ago, after being hurt by her first love outside of her marriage, that she would never let herself be vulnerable again. If any of her clients had done what Natzeli did, she would have talked them through it, recognized the pain associated with it. Natzeli? She did what she felt was best. Yet, here she was. Falling for a woman who was clearly into another person. Despite how much fun they may have had together, Natzeli wasn’t blind. She knew about the other two, she heard rumors around town. She was already hurting and they hadn’t even discussed what they were beyond friends who hooked up sometimes. God, she felt like she was part of a dumb cliche friends with benefit movie and someone was about to pop out and tell her that’s why these arrangements never work. 

“I think you should go,” she stated quietly, her eyes glancing at Leah’s phone that kept lighting up. She had no idea if it was him or not, but getting up from the couch and headed to her kitchen to make a drink she murmured, “I’m sure that Ace is wondering where you are.” 

Leah had been sitting comfortable next to Natzeli, beginning to enjoy their nights together more and more as they grew more frequent. Her phone was on the table, the screen lighting up every so often, but she chose to ignore it. She was a grown woman that didn’t need to attend to whomever was trying to contact her. If it was important, certainly they would call her. Leah’s eyes were dragged from the movie playing on the television at Natzeli’s words. “W-what?” She stammered, her head swiveling on her shoulders as Natzeli got up from the couch. Where was this coming from? And then she said Ace’s name and Leah’s shoulders tensed. She knew seeing more than one person in a small town came with its risks, but between both Natzeli and Ace, they had not discussed the formalities of what they were doing. “I doubt he is.” She stood up, following her into the kitchen. “Ace doesn’t have any right wondering where I am, for starters.”

[hcneyjar]

hargitay·:

nadia + azra

@therallywrites·

Azra had been back for about a month now and there was only one thing that she was certain of: coming back was a mistake. Whoever and whatever she was running from back at Duke, was far better in her mind than the small town she grew up in. Currently, she found herself held up in her childhood bedroom, one that since being here she had already tossed all of her trophies and ribbons and leotards into several boxes in the corner. She had an apartment, but she couldn’t go back to it right now. Not after she fought with Amelia and then later that night practically begged an officer to shoot her after she trashed her own car. She was losing it, that’s for sure. She had been at home for a few days now, only coming out to use the bathroom and certainly not answer any of her parents questions. The knock on her bedroom door caused her to jump in bed. It was probably mom or dad again. No one else knew she was here. Opening the door, she was ready to say that she didn’t want to speak, but she saw Nadia there instead. “What are you doing here?” she asked. “How did you-” she stopped groaning, “Mom called. I’m fine. She’s being dramatic.” 

Getting a call from her mother about Azra was not what she had expected to happen, yet she shouldn’t have been surprised. After her baby sister returned to town and dropped the news of being a mother to a four year old on her lap, she had reason to believe there was more going on with Azra than the woman was letting on. It seemed Azra had been holing up in her room, ignoring both their parents and not staying at the apartment she was renting with a few others. Their mother seemed to think Nadia was the only person that could get through to her. Nadia stood in front of the door, not standing much taller than her sister. “She certainly did go and call me,” she clicked her tongue, “Dramatic runs in the family, haven’t you heard?” Nadia raised one of her brow slightly in Azra’s direction. “Now you ought to sit and tell me what’s goin’ on before mama calls someone other than me in here.”