tragedies;

#tuserzoya. (super inactive !!)

[carysfebruary]

howl's moving castle directed by hayao miyazaki ; 2004

[thaidoodles]

long day at the office

[puppyms]

2MUAH 😘 Christmas_tree8

[melmili]

just wanna say i am a big fan of this trope specifically

[wannab-urs]

he definitely fucks but there’s no way he fucks normal

[archliches]

man c'mon

[broken-horn-of-equius]

[gavamont]

Not my white ass locked in the duke’s dungeon again because I fucked his favorite jester 😩

I didn’t know he was so territorial over the silly little guy 🙄

[moreyradder]

Pro Tip: Avoid this in the future by inviting the king to your chambers and presenting the situation as;

" Just warming him up for a surprise threesome. You looked so stressed, sire, so let us help you relax."

[gavamont]

The Duke would, at best, be the fourth

The Duke’s wife is the third from time to time, and I feel like he’s not gonna be happy about that

And most importantly, the Duke is a fuck boi, he’s not invited

[moreyradder]

Ah, but I said the king, my good wizard!

If you get the king in on this, the duke can do nothing without risking insulting his monarch.

This could not possibly backfire!

In fact, I'll go perform this right now and report back my success shortly.

[moreyradder]

Dungeon

[gavamont]

Welcome to the club

[wizard-gobling]

surely the duke can’t catch all of us????

Gonna try hitting up the jester when the duke goes out for another raid and report with results 👍

[wizard-gobling]

Dungeon.

[ratazom]

Wow. I don't respect anyone in this thread.

[wizard-gobling]

feels like somebody’s mad they didn’t get the chance to fuck the duke’s favorite jester

[gavamont]

Make a pass at the jester and there’s always a chance

That you’ll be be doing that old “chained in the dungeon” dance

[sabertoothwalrus]

I was inspired

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[ampervadasz]

[cosmicwhoreo]

don't you dare hide this in the tags

[tldrgender]

I fucked up so badly on this sudoku page no ones ever gonna wanna have sex with me

[killhitleragain]

[beardedmrbean]

Spite can be a incredible motivator

[roycohn]

🔊🔊 END STAGE DISCOURSE!! END STAGE DISCOURSE!! WE HAVE ARRIVED AT "FICTIONAL SEX IS COERCIVE BECAUSE CHARACTERS ARE BEING FORCED TO DO THINGS BY THE AUTHOR"!!!! 🔊🔊

[minyard-05]

actually it's really funny that the foxhole court starts with neil telling us he 'smokes' cigarettes because the smell reminds him of his dead mother. like no hello no how are you we just jumping right into this one

[limetimo]

AND HE ISN'T EVEN SMOKING THE CIGARETTE

[minyard-05]

he literally doesn't even smoke the damn cigarette

[starsworth]

i just know aaron randomly called andrew's name and then didn't say anything when andrew appeared to see what he wanted. and i also know andrew occasionally showed up wherever aaron was to stare at him until he got annoyed then walked away. oh and andrew for sure kicked his foot up on the beanbag chair aaron was sitting on so his boot was right next to his head and didn't move it whenever he swatted at it and told nicky to make him put his leg down (as if nicky ever could) while andrew said "im not even touching you" and nicky who has no siblings said "well he's technically right, he's not touching you" while aaron fumed and andrew was smug. i also know that aaron used the "at least mom wanted me" argument multiple times right up until tilda died and then never used it again. andrew took great pleasure in walking into whatever room aaron was in while he was sitting/lying comfortably to cut the light on and then leave. aaron was delighted sometimes when andrew told him to get out of a room for the sole purpose of standing directly outside the threshold bc technically he wasnt in the room anymore. if andrew ever gave aaron any food, the first thing out of aaron's mouth was "what did you do to it" and andrew made sure to never answer. aaron, who was certain he was the most mature between them, would repeat things andrew said in a high-pitched voice until andrew threw various objects at his head. they were equally confused and appalled in therapy when informed that these things were not signs they hated each other, but were in fact the complete opposite.

[ryudaeng]

ITZY × ‘GIRLS WILL BE GIRLS’ 2025

[thelooniemoonie]

"autistic people need instructions for every simple task" okay how about we talk about the neurotypicals not following clear instructions. what do you mean it didn't work the way you wanted, i gave you the instructions. oh you didn't follow them? you didn't see where i clearly indicated the directions you were supposed to follow for this task? and you're shocked it didn't turn out right? you decided to pull a Jared I'm 19 and go rogue? you're surprised the road less travelled isn't fucking paved because no one travels it? do you get off on this

[thelooniemoonie]

nice try but that doesn't work on me. appreciate the attempt tho <3

[adaines-furious-feast]

There's a whole genre of comments on recipe blogs where someone says they left out a key "unhealthy" ingredient and the food turned out like shit, so the recipe is shit.

[wizardnuke]

fake relationship but its a king and his concubine that was once an amazing soldier but he couldn’t go up the ranks for whatever reason so the king was like listen. hear me out. you can be my strategy dude. u just gotta be okay w walking around shirtless a lot. and soldier dude is like man that’s an UPSIDE and yknow they end up falling in love

[aethersea]

some idiot advisor: I can’t believe his majesty lets his boytoy attend these council meetings, it’s an insult to the noble institutions that uphold our nation, it’s an outrage—

a somewhat smarter advisor: you’re just mad bc he pointed out how dumb your naval attack strategy and no one laughed when you made a mean joke about him

[fieldbears]

Boytoy has gone from a top fighter who was well respected but in constant danger to wearing silks and eating grapes on daises. That fucked up rotator cuff was the best thing to ever happen to him

[mzminola]

Bonus points: at least half the other concubines are experts in assorted fields, the monarch brings them to relevant meetings to both play up a reputation for frivolity, and make sure at least one person there doesn’t have an outside agenda.

[aethersea]

my harem? 

did you mean: my chief strategic advisors

[kitten-kin]

The kingdom is an absolute monarchy but the harem has become a secret meritocracy. The nobles and official advisors kind of side-eye His Majesty because wow some of these consorts must have like…really good personalities. Kings of the past have had their own specific tastes of course; size, shape, age, color, et cetera. More than one ruler has interviewed consorts feet first and Ardwin the Adventurous’s obsession - God rest him - with snuffling armpits like a sow rooting for mushrooms is well known despite never being alluded to in polite company.

The worst part of it is that the new king takes at least part of his harem with him everywhere and it’s so embarrassing. The Counselors of War have never once met with His Divine Majesty without that hulking battle-scarred consort interrupting with muttered growls or scornful snorts. And the Ministers of Finance all flinch at the sight of that fox-faced one, rumored to have been rescued from the gallows because His Augustness took a fancy to his eyes or some such nonsense. General petition days are even worse, with practically the entire harem drifting in and out of the Grand Hall in turns, insouciant and smug like granary cats who know they’ve been given full run of the courtyards and barns.

It’s absolutely infuriating that the kingdom has never before known such a period of peace and prosperity under this ridiculous monarch.

[absolutely-esme]

It has not yet occurred to anyone that, perhaps, his highness has a competence kink.

It will, eventually, and at least a few people are going to be embarrassed it didn’t occur to them sooner.

“Well, you won’t be catching the king’s eye,” becomes an entirely different sort of insult than foreigners tend to assume.

[catgirlthecrazy]

@defilerwyrm this seems right up your alley

[furryprovocateur]

i'm not invested in "harry potter was never good" conversations because it doesn't matter if it's good or not. quality does not positively correlate with socio-political praxis. it could be a really good piece of art, but if it's still supporting a vocal proponent of transmisogyny and transphobia, i don't give a shit. harry potter good or bad, who cares, its success is unambiguiously providing financial and social capital for a morally despicable person.