bloodsports

❝ WHEN you think of him, you think of the inch between his first two knuckles split to the bone. you think of his g l a d i a t o r frame, his shoulders the whole WORLD, the blood in his teeth like communion wine. ❞

[intcngcble-blog]

———- @jaxisms

          HE SEEMED PEACEFUL. with the light shining done on his face in such a way that it was like a halo was moving around his head to make him much more perfect. his eyes closed in a way as though he was in such a relaxed and deep sleep that her insides twisted at the sight. reaching up carefully to push hair out of his face, she managed to keep his slumber in tact with her motions, the smile never leaving her lips as she looked down at him, taking in all the tattoos that stained his skin, her slim fingers outlining each of the lines, her breathing calmed and relaxed - something she hadn’t felt in almost years. that was the affect he had on her, he was able to make her so calm and relaxed that she almost didn’t believe herself as she reminded her mind that they were fighting a war.

          with the blanket covering most of her body, she had managed to pull her pants back onto her legs sometime during the night when she made a late night round to try and let realization hit her that she was laying beside jax — literally beside him. it was still quite a dream to her, if she was being honest.

          taking in a breath, she slowly leaned down to brush her lips against his in such a light feeling that it would’ve felt like a feather if he was awake, allowing her heart to skip a beat and a small smile form on her lips before she continued to brush her lips against his, hoping it would jolt him awake in a way that he could regain movement of his muscles and hold onto her for a while longer before they had to go back to their jobs. ‘ —–wake up, sunshine, ’ she whispered under her breath, nudging her nose against his lightly.

[hcnlcyss]

          JAX WAS ALONE when he’d first awoke. reaching around the absence of warmth for the soft sizzle of her skin against his own, and coming up empty handed. briefly, he’d felt that white-hot panic -- deep and festering in his chest, something that surfaced few and far between, something he would not allow to get the better of him for fear of acting irrationally. she would be back soon and she’would never leave him again.  

          and those thoughts rang true, as though he’d willed her into returning to him, unscathed and slightly cold from whatever round she had embarked on; his arms circling her delicately, hands gentle as they rubbed the warmth back into her -- the desert was cold at night. 

          but his sleep was lulled and easy, for a change, having someone else andrea laying next to him made the world of difference. vaguely, his body registered the almost missable pressure against his lips, soft skin grazing the days-old scruff along his jawline. by default, he responded, the soft and lazy pucker of his lips as he kissed her back, arms reaching blindly for her slight figure to press against the slow and steady rise and fall of his chest. he k i s s e d back again, goosebumps littering every available millimetre of skin -- without a doubt: not the girl beside him but the weather that surrounded them, yes, that was the cause for sure. a groan escaped his lips as he leaned toward her touch, craving the smooth run of her skin beneath his fingers but not particularly wanting to open his eyes. “i thought we were done with cruel and unusual punishments, andi. it’s too early for this--” he yawned, fingers gripping the skin of her waist as he found it. “ --this bullshit.”

[hcnlcyss]

.

[dailybellamyblake]

[blurintoyou]

Although his design prevented him from showing displeasure by scowling as a normal human would, Julius still managed to somehow convey his annoyance with a relatively placid expression. “Someone just told me that I needed to get laid—as if we weren’t currently in the middle of a war.”

[hcnlcyss]

      “i mean, it wouldn’t hurt. not like people ‘round here don’t make time for other forms of... fun. but getting laid is on more of a want versus need basis, don’t you think?”

[irasceris]

“ i stopped throwing it away for shitty people after i found out you hit the same piece. only, when i had her she had dead parents - apparently for her to want you took a whole dead family. so yeah, i think i’ll keep talking, sweetheart.” he wiped at his face in disgust, before adding, “ hop in yourself. getting real sick of you wasting my time.”

[hcnlcyss]

           he was poised to react as always -- cold snark that feigned nonchalance toward whatever the other had to say -- before his composure shattered into a million tiny pieces at the realisation of what sam had said. SAM, SAM, SAM- he’d heard the name too many times. a name for dead boyfriends, uttered in broken sobs and breaths that hitched on memories she struggled to get out. but not this sam, no, he’d never thought that there was a correlation between the two. surely she’d have said something? have mentioned that the man she’d supposedly been mourning was actually very much alive and kicking; a resident in their own camp and someone that jax was all too acquainted with. “you’re lying.” if it hadn’t been for the dead silence around them, there was no way sam would have heard the words, but whispering them didn’t make them true. even as jax felt the automatic reaction of his hands fisting the other’s shirt, pressing him hard against the truck and pulling him up off the ground, he knew it was futile to think that sam’s word was not the bitter truth. “you’re lying.” he uttered again in a vicious snarl. jax no longer saw a man before him; he only saw RED.

[supvalmont]

“i’d kill for a proper cold beer. heineken, if possible. honestly, not all this prison-alcoholic-beverage combined would be all that worth. if things weren’t as shitty– i’d even consider giving up on alcohol. thing which never occurred through my mind before. that’s how tragic i find this situation.”

[hcnlcyss]

      “what’s wrong with a little moonshine? i don’t think the taste really matters, so long as it has the desired effect. who gives a fuck if it dissolves your insides?”

[meridiahq]

Think you can protect him too?

Those words weighed her down, like an anchor, and it didn’t let her thoughts sail away from that point in her mind. They stung and burned like acid in the back of her mind. Nova couldn’t protect him, could she? At the end of the day, she couldn’t protect as many people as she wanted to. Even when she endured years and years of her father’s own punches, her brother still suffered from it – not matter what she did, it would never be enough. If asked, Nova could list various reasons why she was still alive; none, however, would include doing something for herself. Someone always had it worse, someone always needed her more than she needed herself. “It won’t be for the lack of trying.” Her words struggled to leave, but it was if those were the ones she needed to say to prop herself out of that situation. Nova knew she was circling a dangerous area in her mind; a place where her demons merely whispered; and yet, they were louder than any other scream reason could throw at her. The moment she delivered that last kick, Nova knew there was turning back now. Neither her or Jax would stand down and she wasn’t sure she could do it anymore. It was as if the brunette had a reason to be scared of her own mind. The ones who knew about her life would wonder, even question how she put up with her father and was still in one piece; truth was, on the outside, she only had scars, her skin healed – on the inside, she was still broken like a mirror she had been thrown into. The thing was, not even Nova knew she was like that. There was a certain sense of familiarity that came with such violence; it was one of the things she was most used to and her mind had created a place where she could run to and hide, just until it was over. Her eyes glued to the man in front of her, seeing him struggle – she had seen that as many times as she had been in that situation. However, in the next second, she felt her back hit the floor. And before she could recover from the pain and the dizziness that came with hitting the ground with the back of her head, Nova felt a tearing pain on her cheek. And then, a throbbing ache. It had left a metallic taste in her mouth and soon enough, Nova spit out the crimson liquid, her lip already busted open. “What was that? A gentle pat on my cheek?” Her lips red with her own blood.

[hcnlcyss]

         "but no matter how hard you try, it's never enough, right?" he sneered, face now millimetres from her own. THIS was a feeling he knew too well; almost as familiar to him as breathing. choking on pressure forced from his lungs by sharp kicks that showed no mercy; jax often thought he was born to be kicked around, knocked down until all he could feel beneath him was the cold and unforgiving ground. but, in truth, he'd never even been given the chance to stand up. get knocked down, get knocked down, get knocked down- there was no reprieve. he could not recall a single moment of his life where that physical ache didn't exist to mask the one that no one could see; the one that burned fiercely somewhere deep in his chest, as though a hole could sear through the flesh of his torso and expose the unsteady, mismatched rhythm of his lungs and heart. an anxiety burden that stole years from his life. years in which he should have been living instead of merely surviving on each stuttered breath he struggled to take. sometimes he wondered if there was a point in trying to get back up, but fighting for his life from the age that most people started elementary school had instilled in him a savage will to survive at all costs, no matter the means. so it was that he found himself on top of nova, legs straddling her waist, the full weight of him surely crushing her. her taunts only fueled his unbridled rage, body reverting to its default setting of being on the offense in order to defend. he swung again, right hook far stronger than his left, the crunch of his fist against her face should have been enough to send him reeling, but the heat of battle left no time to nurse wounds; he would feel the pain in all its g l o r y after. above all, he could hear the raging beat of his own heart, breathless above her. for the first time in a too long, he felt alive, the simple swing of his white-knuckled fist into the face of another enough to convince him that he wasn't trapped in limbo. there was room to BREATHE, room to release all the anguish and rage he'd been trying so hard to contain. he needed this, and perhaps she did too; the hits and kicks she gave to him, while leaving visible scars, could temporarily heal the wounds no one could see. he was made for the d i r t.

[farrchs]

      “ i’m just gonna ignore the fact that you just called me a squirrel because i don’t have the energy to kick you today. ” her smirk faded within seconds. “ that’s her dog, i want my own thank you very much. i wanna be the one to train it. like i could train it to attack people on command. i’d be like, go sick ‘em boy and suddenly you have a chunk of your leg bitten off because of my amazing animal. ”

[hcnlcyss]

      “don’t you appreciate the nickname? i think it’s cute.” he couldn’t help but smile at the seriousness of her appearance and tone -- teasing farrah was too much fun. “i mean, i would volunteer to find one for you, but i feel like by ‘ people ’ you mean me, and i’d kind of like to be able to walk, thanks very much.”

[intcngcble-blog]

          SHE STARTED THIS. oh she knew that she started this fight. she was the one that went ahead and began screaming at him and pushing them when she should’ve just stayed silent. or even better, she shouldn’t have told him to fuck off in the first place when her insides were just craving his touch. the moment her hands hit his chest, she cursed herself, taking her anger on herself out on him as she continued to scream but the minute she was done screaming and had to answer to him, she was quiet. she didn’t respond as she stood there, taking it in. she didn’t want to continue fighting, she was tired of fighting. she was tired of pushing all her feelings down - especially towards jax. she knew she loved him, hell - he should know that she loved him, despite her attitude, no matter what, she always managed to watch him leave on his raids and always made sure she was on protection watch when he came back. she was always up late, waiting to make sure he was safe in his tent. with sam back, and with jax probably finding out about him, she knew she was going to blow up even more - but she couldn’t even bring herself to care about the ex boyfriend she had told jax was such a great guy, when in the first conversation they had together upon a reunion he stated that she was the one that killed her brother. pressing her lips together tightly, she really debated on her next motions, listening to his last accusations before she dropped her gun, as well as her bag and jumped up at him, crashing her lips fiercely against his.

          the moment their lips met, she almost regretted it, almost wanted to pull away but the damage had already been done. her hands reached up to cup onto his face while her legs tightened around his waist, keeping herself up without his help as she kept her lips against his, the kiss fierce but also full with every single feeling of love and lust she had towards the male behind it, her insides igniting with a fire as she let her senses finally feel everything about him once again. pulling away after a few moments, but just enough so she could take in a deep breath and talk - her lips still able to brush against his with each word. ‘ how much more proof would you like? ’ she whispered breathlessly, ready to jump down and ready to take the rejection that would come in due time.

[hcnlcyss]

        he really thought he’d fucked it all up; the brutality of his response to her and the savage admission of his sins, she should have been looking at him with nothing short of disgust, a permanent molding of her features for each time her eyes met his own. but he couldn’t see, nor could he even think about the fight that had just occurred between them because the force of her lips had pushed all rational thought from his mind. in his shock, his body reverted to autopilot, hands gripping under her thighs and pressing her c l o s e r to him than should have been possible. kiss deepening before he could help himself because he had craved this for so long, craved that closeness from her that he’d missed more than he’d ever admit. a longing that shredded away at a piece of himself he hadn’t even known EXISTED until her lips had first met his own. 

       but this was wrong. a kiss didn’t prove anything, no matter how much feeling had been softly pressed into it. no matter how heavily his heart beat against her own, the heated thud thrumming out a rhythm of STAY STAY STAY that he couldn’t grasp onto. he pulled back, arms still holding her up as he avoided her eyes. “you don’t want me.” he mumbled into the expanse of her collarbone that fit between her shoulder and neck. “you don’t want me.” he pressed again, voice louder this time, as if telling her that this was the only truth. insisting that anything she felt for him right now was clouded by LUST instead of the love she’d claimed. but he wanted needed her to tell him he was wrong. that this period of neglect was not because he wasn’t enough, or because he was too much. to tell him that things could go back to how they were before, even if the constant chaos surrounding them ensured that would never be possible.

[intcngcble-blog]

          THAT WAS THE final straw for the woman. hearing the words fall from his lips, she dropped her gun and instantly shoved her hands against his chest, pushing him back with such force that her eyes lit up with anger. ‘ that’s what you think this was? a way to fucking replace my ex? you’re a fucking idiotic prick if that’s what you think that’s what i felt for you, jax! ’ she shouted in the males direction, her insides screaming at her to walk away from the situation, to just hide in her tent - that was probably damaged to no lengths from the amount of people that hated her at this rate - and curl up with a few pity sessions. ‘ you have no fucking idea what the hell i’ve gone through, jax! telling you doesn’t mean you understand. ’

          it was then that tears formed in her eyes, her hands falling at her sides once more, although the anger was at bay, ready to explode and take over once again if he said anything as such again. ‘ i left you because i love you. how the fuck can’t you see that? look around, jax! i’m the most hated person around this fucking camp, and you know why? because it was my watch that my brother died! it was me who killed him. not the robot, me! i killed him by being too distracted by the past to shoot the fucking thing in time. i was upstairs when my parents were getting slaughtered! do you get it now? do you fucking get it now, you weren’t a replacement, you were someone i wanted, someone i fucking fell for and i left you because i would rather you be alive and hating me than dead because of me, jax. ’ the tears were endless now as she screamed in the others face, not caring on who was staring at them at this rate. ‘ so FUCK YOU! ’

[hcnlcyss]

      the moment her hands collided with his body felt as though an explosion had been triggered in his chest. the air had been knocked out of him, perhaps due to shock more than anything else. things weren’t supposed to be this way with andrea; she was made for soft hands and soft touches and a soft voice that melted like butterscotch, all sweet and golden. not this... rage. the sharp cut to her twisted features and the slice of each word leaving even more gaping wounds that would never be skin deep, newfound hurt anger oozing from each one. “you think you’re the only one in this fuckin’ camp who’s lost somebody? who’s let someone they love die?” he had tried to understand -- as much as he was capable of doing -- but loss what something jax had learned to glaze over, to hide underneath duty and a personality so abrasive that others won’t touch you for fear of getting scratched. “i’m starting to wonder if you felt anything for me at all, seeing as you just threw me away without a second thought. and tell me? tell me what? you can’t even LOOK at me.”

      his face twisted into something ugly at her words. ‘ love him ’ -- he of all people had no idea what that felt like but love- love wasn’t this. love wasn’t acting as if he didn’t even exist, after months of spending almost every waking moment in each other’s company. making him feel as though he’d done something wrong, something to make her hate him more than anyone else did; because at least they liked to remind him on a semi-daily basis. “STOP. shut your fuckin’ mouth.” he tore away from her, hands tugging through his hair as if he could simply pull the thoughts form his own head and splay them out before her. “no, andi -- that’s not killing someone. killing someone is putting a gun to their head and pulling the trigger, a single slice to make them bleed out; wrapping your hands around their throat and s q u e e z i n g until you can’t feel a pulse beneath your fingers anymore. don’t come at me and tell me what it means to be a killer, because you haven’t got a fuckin’ clue.” he didn’t care that they were attracting a crowd, that they could all her his shouts proclaiming who WHAT he was. he didn’t care at all anymore. “you wanted me? right, okay,” he laughed again, delirious, and right in her face. “sure got a funny way of showing it.”

[intcngcble-blog]

          ‘ GUESS YOU COULD say that, ’ the shorter girl said with a small giggle falling from her lips. although she had vowed off romance while on the run, something about jax constantly made her almost addicted to his touch. maybe it was his ability to make her laugh when he didn’t even mean to when she just wanted to sob, or it could’ve been the way he handled her like she was fragile, she couldn’t put her finger on it but she always found her body moving into his tent - even before today. 

          ‘ snooping is a very big accusation, mister. ’ she teased before letting her one hand move down his chest to reach his hand that was dangling beside hem, her fingers tangling with his own, finally feeling as though she was safe. almost like she was - home. ‘ i try to keep myself interesting. the innocent girl gets boring quite quickly and trav really wants me in protection, not sure why but he’s invested in it. far’s already in medics and i could never be a raider, i go insane just watching you leave. ’

[hcnlcyss]

       for most of his life, jax had very few reasons to come back to anyone. his father, maybe, if he could stand not to look the man in the eye for the rest of his life; out of fear of seeing nothing but someone filled to the brim with sorrow and disappointment. with andi, he didn’t even have to think about it -- it hadn’t even dawned on him to pack up on supplies from camp and ditch the other raiders when they reached an abandoned town -- which was unnerving him, admittedly, and he didn’t really like to thing about the WHY of it, only that saying goodbye wasn’t an option just yet. 

       “am i wrong?” he wound his fingers through her own, the softness of her skin still a foreign feeling to him, but comforting nonetheless. but she had missed him. what did that even mean? what about him could she possibly have missed? “seems pretty effortless to me. you not wanna be a protector? you’d be good at it- so long as you don’t accidentally shoot yourself in the foot.” he teased, the notion of andi with a heavy gun weighing her down feeling wrong in so many ways, but oddly comforting that she had another barrier of protection when he was away. 

       breath catching slightly in his throat at her words, jax craned his neck to lean his forehead against her own. “no need to worry ‘bout it. should take you with me -- can be my personal protector.”

[outcrying]

i hate u, i love u / gnash & olivia o’brien

[irasceris]

sam rolled his eyes, incredibly unamused. “ don’t be disgusting , you and i both know you have the sex appeal of a tracking bot. now stop bullshitting me and let me see what’ve you got in the truck.”

[hcnlcyss]

     “oh, baby, i love it when you talk dirty. how many people in this camp have you been with? maybe you should check yourself before you compare others to hunks of scrap metal.” he deadpanned, patting the other’s cheek. “what? you don’t believe me? just hop in and i’ll show you.”

[anthonydel-g-blog]

Anthony’s attention was quickly caught on the voice echoing down to him and it took no more then a moment stand, inching close to Jax as his jaw locked. “I’m not going anywhere. You can wait.” he muttered, pushing the man back a bit as he crossed his arms over his chest. “My sis really did fuck you up didn’t she? Remember she did a mean right hook on my dad one night.. see it hasn’t faltered.”

[hcnlcyss]

      jax allowed himself to fall back slightly, hands coming up to rub the exhaustion from his eyes, wincing as his fingers grazed an open wound. “don’t think i won’t go another round.” trying to make himself feel bigger, he squared his shoulders. “should’ve seen the other guy. she’s like a mirror image.”

[farrchs]

     farrah was sitting at a table with her head down like a child. she wasn’t sleeping, she was just antsy and felt like she was going to explode. soon enough she raised her head with a groan before speaking to herself mainly even if there was someone sitting with her or nearby, “ you know what i want ? i want a damn pet. a cat, a dog, a freakin’ squirrel. i don’t know, i’ll train it or something. ugh. ” she ran her hands through her hair tempted to just set her head back down and scream.

[hcnlcyss]

       “the squirrel wants a squirrel... huh.” despite the fact that jax was currently at war with her older sister, he could always make a little time for farrah; time usually spent trying to coax her restlessness into action that rarely proved to be practical ( or even safe ). “that girl - cat or something? - has a dog, funny enough.” he laughed, placing his hand to the top of her head and messing her hair up. “he’d even come pre-trained.”

[meridiahq]

that feel when you don’t know if it’s your concussion that is blinding you or the moonshine.

king satan herself, may. (via novadclgado)

[hcnlcyss]

sO im doin all my replies tomorrow because i have a prom/debutante ball thing to go to !!!!! rIP ME !!!!! and i will not be back til like 6AM

i need you all to pray that my makeup stays put pls & thank u