write bad fanfic. write mediocre fanfic. write fanfic that a thousand people before you have already written. write niche fanfic. write fanfic that only a few people will read or understand. write fanfic just for you. write fanfic just for a friend. write ocs. write self-inserts. the fact that you’re taking the time and energy to put your ideas into the world is amazing and people who shame you for it need to find better ways to spend their time.
Just follow your heart and write. By doing so, you are more, the world is ineffably more, due to you having made something out of nothing except intent. This is, after all, what gods do. The moreness alone is more than reason enough to write—the mere augmentation of existence, now made bigger by the existence of what you made.
Whether anybody else ever sees what you make is immaterial. The judgment of others isn’t necessary. Write the story and make it real. That’s your job.
Then, if you feel like it, do it again. This is a quality-of-life issue: yours. The sheer power of creation, even in secret, is huge. Don’t let idiots’ opinions deprive you of it, or the positive side effects.
Just smile to yourself, and get on with work. What they don’t know won’t hurt them. :)
no warnings except for one mention of the sex word, just a lot of gay people shenanigans and very little proofreading. from mandie's perspective this time!
I open my eyes to Maddie’s face mere inches from mine. Her eyes are closed, face smushed against my arm, lips ever so slightly parted. She furrows her brow when I try to move my arm out from under her, and I freeze, not wanting to wake her after last night.
“Sorry,” I mutter, placing a soft kiss on her forehead and gently lifting her head so I can move my arm. She grumbles, rolling over to grab at her stuffed cow.
My body aches when I roll out from under her thick comforter, feet tingling on the cold, wooden floor. Even though no one else is in here, my face burns as I scurry around the room, looking for my pants. It's strange to see her room during the day, when the little stars on the ceiling aren’t glowing and the sun is creeping through her sheer curtains. I can hear her dad and his boyfriend listening to music in the kitchen as soon as I crack the door open, the smell of bacon frying filling my nostrils. I try and fail to quietly tip-toe to the bathroom, but Sam comes around the corner just before I can grab the doorknob.
“Oh! Amanda, I didn’t know you were here,” he smiles, and Malik pokes his head around the corner.
“When did you get here, kid?” He comes over to stand beside Sam, both of them raising their eyebrows at me.
I swallow, not sure why I’m so nervous. Does he know that I came over at 3 am and had sex with his daughter? God help me if he does, I can never show my face in New York again.
“Dad? Everything- oh…” Maddy’s voice is groggy as she takes in the three of us standing here looking at each other. Sam covers his mouth and turns back to the kitchen, his shoulders shaking with quiet laughter.
“Everythings fine, kiddo,” Malik smiles, reaching out to grab Maddy’s hand and pull her closer to him. “I was just asking Mandie when she got here, seeing as I didn’t hear her come in this morning?”
“Uh, yeah. You were asleep, probably. It was like, two-thirty this morning?” Maddy tosses me a nervous smile as the two of them make their way to the kitchen. I finally slip into the bathroom as the pair round the corner, heart pounding and cheeks glowing. I splash cold water from the faucet on my face, banishing the heat from my cheeks. After a minute, I shut off the water and ready myself to be kicked out before I even have time to find my socks.
As soon as I open the bathroom door, I can hear the music and laughter flowing from the kitchen again. Maddy and Sam are belting the words to some Hamilton song while Malik begs them to stop.
“Mandie! Please, make them stop,” he groans as I enter the kitchen, giggling. The atmosphere is less tense than in the hallway earlier, and I’m drawn back to Maddy’s side, pressing our bodies as close as I can while she mixes a bowl of waffle batter. She’s stopped singing, instead humming the melody with a soft smile on her face. Sam and Malik argue playfully behind us, but their dispute over who gets the longer piece of bacon fades away when Maddy bumps my shoulder with her own and smiles up at me.
I can’t control the shaking of my hand when I wrap my arm around her waist and plant a soft kiss on her cheek.
“Jeez get a room you two,” Sam chides playfully, while Malik peppers his face with similar kisses. Maddy rolls her eyes, turning her attention back to the waffle iron as it beeps at her. The two of them continue their playfulness as they head for the living room, leaving Maddy and I alone in the kitchen.
“Remind me to never try and piss in your house again,” I groan, burying my face in her neck. She grins, pulling me from the warmth of her neck and returning the soft kiss I gave her with a one on my lips as the waffle iron beeps again.
“No pissing, got it.” She sighs when we separate. I don’t let her go very far, chasing that warmth radiating off her.
We fly apart like shrapnel when Malik’s footsteps pad into the kitchen, empty plates in hand. He places them carefully in the sink and then comes over to Maddy, placing a quick kiss on her temple.
“Sams and I are going out for the day, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” he wiggles his eyebrows at me. My face burns.
“Dad!” Maddy groans, smacking his shoulder as her cheeks flush. Malik snickers, leaving the kitchen and tossing a sing-song “bye” over his shoulder.
After both of them have retreated to their bedroom, we sit at the kitchen island to eat. We’re shoulder to shoulder, musing about all the touristy things Maddy wants to do before our classes start up in January. Sam and Malik scurry out the door after a half hour, Sam chiding Malik about how they’re going to miss the train if he doesn’t hurry.
Once they’re out the door, we clean up in the kitchen and go back to Maddy’s room. She starts digging through a box of clothes and I search for my phone in her sea of pillows and blankets. When I find it, I groan at the three missed calls from my dad.
“You good?” Maddy asks, holding up a green knit sweater from her box.
“My dad called… three times. I should probably go home.”
“Do you have to?” She whines, dropping the sweater and flopping down on her bed, staring up at me with those big, brown eyes. An idea pops into my head and I smile, leaning over and kissing her forehead.
“Worry not, Mads, I have an idea. I’ll come pick you up at like… 5:30 and we’ll commence ‘Maddy’s big New York adventure!’ Patent pending, of course.”
She raises an eyebrow and opens her mouth to say something, but I make it to the door before she can, blowing her a kiss and wink as I pull it shut. I shove my feet back into my cow slippers before heading back across the hall, grinning to myself about all the things I want to do with her.
wc: 772 - not rlly explicit, just wlw yearn. only halfway proofread, i just love them
It's 2:37 am when I check the time on my phone, the light blinding in the dark of my room. I can’t sleep. My mind is flooded with thoughts about Mandie, about her soft hands and her mossy eyes. Groaning, I slap my hands onto my cheeks, feeling the heat radiating off of them. I roll over, shoving my face into the plush of the stuffed cow Dad gave me, resigning myself to either force myself to sleep or suffocate in my embarrassment, whichever comes first. Time feels like it's moving by in an agonizingly slow march. I close my eyes and drift into some sort of in between of awake and asleep.
It’s 3:42 am when a series of firm knocks ring out from the front door. I blink at the clock on the microwave as I stumble through the kitchen, rubbing the blurry lines of sleep from my eyes. Peering through the peephole, I see her. Mandie. She’s standing in front of the door to my dad’s apartment, looking over her shoulder as if she's expecting her brother to fling their front door open at any moment. My hands shake when I reach for the chain on the door and turn the knob. Mandie snaps her head back to me, smiling down softly for a moment before she speaks.
“Hey, Mads,” Her brows furrow as she scans me with those piercing green eyes, taking in my “I heart NY” sleep shirt, courtesy of Dad's boyfriend. “Did I wake you up?”
I shake my head, stepping back so she can come inside, “Not really, I was just sort of… thinking, I guess.”
“About?” She raises her eyebrow as she steps inside, slipping off her shoes by the door.
“Y- I… it's not important,” shaking my head, I motion for her to follow me back to my room so Dad and Sam aren’t disturbed by us talking. She follows without posing any follow up questions.
It's 3:45 am when we both flop down on my bed, laying shoulder to shoulder as if this is something we’ve done for years. It's quiet for a while, both of us taking in the hundreds of glow-in-the-dark stars Dad stuck up last week, just like when I was a kid. The bed shifts as Mandie moves to lay on her side, propping herself up on an elbow. I turn to look at her.
“You were about to admit to thinking about me, weren’t you?” She has a shit eating grin on her face when she asks it.
“Oh, would you look at the time! Goodnight,” I say, rolling away from her to hide my burning face. She pulls softly on my shoulder to make me face her again. She’s leaning over me, blonde hair falling out of its loose ponytail around her face.
“You can admit it, y’know… I was thinking about you, too. That’s mostly why I came over.” She’s dropped the grin, and I can tell by her facial expression that she's dead serious. I shuffle on the bed, scooting back against the headboard to get out from under her gaze, but she follows me, perching on her knees in front of me. My face burns more, the flush seeping its way up my neck all the way to the tips of my ears.
“Mandie…” is all I manage to squeak out before I make eye contact with her again; brows furrowed and lips pursed as she watches my face. I turn my head to the side, hugging my knees. The bed shifts again when Mandie moves closer to me. I can see her out of the corner of my eye, her face more relaxed as she raises a hand and gently tilts my head to look at her again.
It’s 3:59 am when Mandie presses her lips to mine, one hand cupping my cheek and the other grabbing at my leg. My mind snaps into hyperdrive, moving a million miles a minute. Her hands drop to my hips, mine grasp at her long-fallen hair, she pulls me impossibly closer. For a second, she pulls away and I chase her, finally opening my eyes again when she lifts me off of the bed. Now, I sit perched on her lap, her arms circling me as our foreheads bump together. Her hands move to rest under my shirt, and this time I’m the one to pull her closer, lips connecting, hearts drumming like a marching band.
It’s 4:04 am when
“I love you.”
It's 4:42 am when we finally drift to sleep, tangled under the web of green-tinged false starlight.
wc: 772 - not rlly explicit, just wlw yearn. only halfway proofread, i just love them
It's 2:37 am when I check the time on my phone, the light blinding in the dark of my room. I can’t sleep. My mind is flooded with thoughts about Mandie, about her soft hands and her mossy eyes. Groaning, I slap my hands onto my cheeks, feeling the heat radiating off of them. I roll over, shoving my face into the plush of the stuffed cow Dad gave me, resigning myself to either force myself to sleep or suffocate in my embarrassment, whichever comes first. Time feels like it's moving by in an agonizingly slow march. I close my eyes and drift into some sort of in between of awake and asleep.
It’s 3:42 am when a series of firm knocks ring out from the front door. I blink at the clock on the microwave as I stumble through the kitchen, rubbing the blurry lines of sleep from my eyes. Peering through the peephole, I see her. Mandie. She’s standing in front of the door to my dad’s apartment, looking over her shoulder as if she's expecting her brother to fling their front door open at any moment. My hands shake when I reach for the chain on the door and turn the knob. Mandie snaps her head back to me, smiling down softly for a moment before she speaks.
“Hey, Mads,” Her brows furrow as she scans me with those piercing green eyes, taking in my “I heart NY” sleep shirt, courtesy of Dad's boyfriend. “Did I wake you up?”
I shake my head, stepping back so she can come inside, “Not really, I was just sort of… thinking, I guess.”
“About?” She raises her eyebrow as she steps inside, slipping off her shoes by the door.
“Y- I… it's not important,” shaking my head, I motion for her to follow me back to my room so Dad and Sam aren’t disturbed by us talking. She follows without posing any follow up questions.
It's 3:45 am when we both flop down on my bed, laying shoulder to shoulder as if this is something we’ve done for years. It's quiet for a while, both of us taking in the hundreds of glow-in-the-dark stars Dad stuck up last week, just like when I was a kid. The bed shifts as Mandie moves to lay on her side, propping herself up on an elbow. I turn to look at her.
“You were about to admit to thinking about me, weren’t you?” She has a shit eating grin on her face when she asks it.
“Oh, would you look at the time! Goodnight,” I say, rolling away from her to hide my burning face. She pulls softly on my shoulder to make me face her again. She’s leaning over me, blonde hair falling out of its loose ponytail around her face.
“You can admit it, y’know… I was thinking about you, too. That’s mostly why I came over.” She’s dropped the grin, and I can tell by her facial expression that she's dead serious. I shuffle on the bed, scooting back against the headboard to get out from under her gaze, but she follows me, perching on her knees in front of me. My face burns more, the flush seeping its way up my neck all the way to the tips of my ears.
“Mandie…” is all I manage to squeak out before I make eye contact with her again; brows furrowed and lips pursed as she watches my face. I turn my head to the side, hugging my knees. The bed shifts again when Mandie moves closer to me. I can see her out of the corner of my eye, her face more relaxed as she raises a hand and gently tilts my head to look at her again.
It’s 3:59 am when Mandie presses her lips to mine, one hand cupping my cheek and the other grabbing at my leg. My mind snaps into hyperdrive, moving a million miles a minute. Her hands drop to my hips, mine grasp at her long-fallen hair, she pulls me impossibly closer. For a second, she pulls away and I chase her, finally opening my eyes again when she lifts me off of the bed. Now, I sit perched on her lap, her arms circling me as our foreheads bump together. Her hands move to rest under my shirt, and this time I’m the one to pull her closer, lips connecting, hearts drumming like a marching band.
It’s 4:04 am when
“I love you.”
It's 4:42 am when we finally drift to sleep, tangled under the web of green-tinged false starlight.
wc: 772 - not rlly explicit, just wlw yearn. only halfway proofread, i just love them
It's 2:37 am when I check the time on my phone, the light blinding in the dark of my room. I can’t sleep. My mind is flooded with thoughts about Mandie, about her soft hands and her mossy eyes. Groaning, I slap my hands onto my cheeks, feeling the heat radiating off of them. I roll over, shoving my face into the plush of the stuffed cow Dad gave me, resigning myself to either force myself to sleep or suffocate in my embarrassment, whichever comes first. Time feels like it's moving by in an agonizingly slow march. I close my eyes and drift into some sort of in between of awake and asleep.
It’s 3:42 am when a series of firm knocks ring out from the front door. I blink at the clock on the microwave as I stumble through the kitchen, rubbing the blurry lines of sleep from my eyes. Peering through the peephole, I see her. Mandie. She’s standing in front of the door to my dad’s apartment, looking over her shoulder as if she's expecting her brother to fling their front door open at any moment. My hands shake when I reach for the chain on the door and turn the knob. Mandie snaps her head back to me, smiling down softly for a moment before she speaks.
“Hey, Mads,” Her brows furrow as she scans me with those piercing green eyes, taking in my “I heart NY” sleep shirt, courtesy of Dad's boyfriend. “Did I wake you up?”
I shake my head, stepping back so she can come inside, “Not really, I was just sort of… thinking, I guess.”
“About?” She raises her eyebrow as she steps inside, slipping off her shoes by the door.
“Y- I… it's not important,” shaking my head, I motion for her to follow me back to my room so Dad and Sam aren’t disturbed by us talking. She follows without posing any follow up questions.
It's 3:45 am when we both flop down on my bed, laying shoulder to shoulder as if this is something we’ve done for years. It's quiet for a while, both of us taking in the hundreds of glow-in-the-dark stars Dad stuck up last week, just like when I was a kid. The bed shifts as Mandie moves to lay on her side, propping herself up on an elbow. I turn to look at her.
“You were about to admit to thinking about me, weren’t you?” She has a shit eating grin on her face when she asks it.
“Oh, would you look at the time! Goodnight,” I say, rolling away from her to hide my burning face. She pulls softly on my shoulder to make me face her again. She’s leaning over me, blonde hair falling out of its loose ponytail around her face.
“You can admit it, y’know… I was thinking about you, too. That’s mostly why I came over.” She’s dropped the grin, and I can tell by her facial expression that she's dead serious. I shuffle on the bed, scooting back against the headboard to get out from under her gaze, but she follows me, perching on her knees in front of me. My face burns more, the flush seeping its way up my neck all the way to the tips of my ears.
“Mandie…” is all I manage to squeak out before I make eye contact with her again; brows furrowed and lips pursed as she watches my face. I turn my head to the side, hugging my knees. The bed shifts again when Mandie moves closer to me. I can see her out of the corner of my eye, her face more relaxed as she raises a hand and gently tilts my head to look at her again.
It’s 3:59 am when Mandie presses her lips to mine, one hand cupping my cheek and the other grabbing at my leg. My mind snaps into hyperdrive, moving a million miles a minute. Her hands drop to my hips, mine grasp at her long-fallen hair, she pulls me impossibly closer. For a second, she pulls away and I chase her, finally opening my eyes again when she lifts me off of the bed. Now, I sit perched on her lap, her arms circling me as our foreheads bump together. Her hands move to rest under my shirt, and this time I’m the one to pull her closer, lips connecting, hearts drumming like a marching band.
It’s 4:04 am when
“I love you.”
It's 4:42 am when we finally drift to sleep, tangled under the web of green-tinged false starlight.
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