cherry valley forever
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Janaina Medeiros
noise dept.
Product Placement
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pixel skylines
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Xuebing Du
d e v o n
KIROKAZE
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
ojovivo
Mike Driver
#extradirty
art blog(derogatory)
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@headsmansax
⸻ headsmansax; a selective & mutual exclusive oathbreaker paladin dark urge from baldur's gate 3, as written by soleil (30+, she/they). duplicate, oc, canon, and multimuse friendly. personal blogs & minors do not interact. singleship with luxmourn & underdarken.
contains dark, mature themes and spoilers.
carrd. / headcanons. / appearance. / prompts.
blogroll: crookedtouch
i miss my darling angel baby girl.
i've been contemplating archiving this blog and making a new one. not sure if it's something i want to do just yet.
Last time I posted I'd gothed the wife. Now I'm gothing her more.
Shadowheart laughs. Laughs. She can't remember the last time she felt like she wanted to, like she could, and here she is, half wrung out with grief, and all she can think of, warm in Tharia's arms, is how much joy there can still be in the world. How much she can see it, even through the tears drying tightly on her cheeks and the hoarseness roughening her voice.
The people she once thought were her family. The goddess she once revered as a mother. They took and took and took. But there is still so much of Shadowheart left among the ruins and wreckage.
"How could I? You've single-handedly bankrolled my new wardrobe."
To remember. That, from here on, she can keep this, all that she is and all of her friends. She nearly weeps again.
When Shadowheart makes to pull away, it only as far as it takes to look into her eyes and offer a half-smile. Letting her palms rest on the slope of Tharia's shoulders, she realizes she couldn't bear moving any further just yet. And so, she doesn't.
"Here I was, ready to make the same promise to you. What a pair we are."
Tharia wonders, as Shadowheart laughs, if she is truly worthy of it. It doesn’t matter in the end, though, does it? Shadowheart has, for some reason, saw a glimmer of something inside her worth excavating around the festering flesh of her heart. And how close she had been to losing her entirely! It’s nothing short of a miracle they stand before each other now.
Gods and their games. It’ll be all too soon if Tharia never has to deal with another–but the reckoning that will come with her own family is for another day. Her sister, her Father. She must cut free of these threads, one way or another.
If she becomes unraveled in the process? So be it. Too long has she spent spinning her Father’s plots, caught up in his power, his wishes. Her only regret is that Orin suffers the same fate.
“ It was worth it, ” she says, giving Shadowheart a once over at arm's length. A bit of silver definitely brings the green out in her eyes.
Tharia grins. “ Wouldn’t be much of a pair at all, would we? ”
Hey all, I've been taking a break from this blog for a bit but I just wanted to say that I've done some blog clean up here and stopped associating with some folks who were accused of doing some harmful things. I'm so sorry and hope everyone is doing well.
A small change!
@headsmansax
In the tavern, there is the usual buzz full of life. And full of alcohol. Incredibly packed for a simple midweek night, and Karilen isn't sure what to do in order to find his new client. He looks around: dark hair, they said, and a braid. Red eyes.
"Excuse me." He taps on someone's shoulder that seemed to match the description from behind. When they turn around, he sees he had the wrong person and smiles apologetic, "Forgive me. I thought you were someone else."
Taverns aren’t Tharia’s normal haunts. The noise and occasional press of bodies tends to overwhelm, and leave her baser instincts raw like an exposed nerve. Everything screams to leave, to lure, to find a quiet place in the shadows from which to do harm. Luckily, Tharia has more self-control than to indulge in that.
And then someone taps her shoulder, and she turns to glance at the stranger with her dark, mismatched eyes. “ No harm done. Do you need any help? ”
The wizard is no stranger to the unusual mannerisms that Tharia possessed — or perhaps ones he was simply unaccustomed to. He nonetheless worried for her during bouts of what he can only describe as disassociation, especially when she isn't unscathed. Their most recent battle had been difficult and especially bloody, and the heavy haze that hung over each of them in its aftermath wasn't uncommon, but it always clung to her in ways Gale couldn't quite make heads or tails of. He could only speculate so much on the connection between moments of disassociation and bloodshed before the hypotheses grew to levels even he didn't want to think about.
He had approached her in a quiet moment once everyone had begun going about their best to clean up, making his steps as obvious as possible as to not startle her. With a caring hand, Gale wiped away some of the blood that clung to her skin with a damp cloth.
"Think nothing of it," Gale smiled warmly, his usual cheerful tone betrayed only by the way his brow creased ever so slightly out of concern for her. "Would you like a hand with cleaning up? I'm sure we could all use a dip in a fresh spring."
“ Is this a nice way of telling me I’m a mess? ” she asks jokingly, plucking up one of the limp strands of her waist length hair and waggling it in his direction. The normally raven blue strands have been coated and dried with blood, giving them an almost purple hue. The fear of rust has her starting on her armor first but, truly, being in the front row of the carnage has left her a disgusting mess.
Tharia doesn’t add that she feels a mess in more ways than one. Despite their dire circumstances, no one else is feeling the desire to peel flesh from bone in the same way she does. Yes, Lae’zel and Astarion seem a little stab-happy, but that seems well within their (justified, she might add) control.
Perhaps the calm, summer evening will do her some measure of good. It might not make her lost memories return, but it’ll definitely make her feel better. Gale’s steady presence isn’t unwelcome, either. He seems so much more well put together than she can even hope to be.
“ I won’t say no to a good wash, ” she finishes, swinging her messy hair back over her shoulder. Then, “ Lead the way. ”
@luxmourn said: “I trusted them, so I trusted you.” ( from j./aheira. ) // this best prompts to ever exist so always accepting.
Tharia's face twists. She does not know if she is worthy of that trust. Her thoughts turn towards that poor, sweet bard who also trusted her. Then, she thinks of having to bury her the morning after joining their group. Obviously J./aheira is no slouch, but the fear remains. Beyond her guilt and grief, however, her curiosity piques.
“ Can you... can you tell me about the other Bhaalspawn? ”
Tharia's right. And that settles with a leaden finality
Because if she's right - if all of this has been out of Shadowheart's control from the start - then that means there was never anything she could have done. Helpless. Too close to see it, at the mercy and whim of... what, exactly? An ancient vendetta? That no matter what she had done, who she had bled and butchered in the name of darkness, it would have never been enough.
Shadowheart feels cold. Cold with wave upon wave of horror, melting into relief, into nausea, into gratitude, into a storm of every terrible, astonishing thing. And most of all, she is alive and free to feel it all.
When her hands release Tharia's, she reaches with arms instead, enfolding her close in an embrace so fiercely necessary she doesn't know who is whom anymore.
"Thank you. I know there's no debt between us. I wouldn't like you nearly as much if there were a tab to settle up." She keeps her cheek pressed into Tharia's shoulder, grounded and here and real. "But you have me. You always have. Just remember you aren't alone in this."
Tharia gives her a gentle squeeze. It’s difficult, she knows, because their situation seems so similar. The despair on Shadowheart’s face mirrors that of her own. There was once a house, warm and inviting and full of love–Tharia had pulled it apart brick by brick at her Father’s behest. Shadowheart may not be Sharr’s daughter in blood, but the cruelty of her love is the same terrible thing given to her by Bhaal.
“ You haven't forgotten that advance I gave you, have you? ” Tharia teases, raising a hand that is thankfully, for once, not gauntleted to cradle the back of her head.
Something fierce burns in her chest. She is so very proud of Shadowheart, for doing the impossible. For freeing herself from Shar’s crushing grip. It’s staggering to think how far they’ve come in such a short amount of time.
“ But you’re not alone, either. Whatever you decide to do next, I’ll be by your side. ” There’s a genuine amount of fear there. Fear that she will turn on Shadowheart, that the dark thing nestled in her stomach will reach out and strike again. But there is hope now–hope that perhaps, one day, she too can be free.
It’s always right person and wrong way I hate to be right, please, tell me I’m wrong Please, tell me I’m wrong
a study in appearing soft but being sharp and bitter underneath; of learning to bury anger and resentment – but realizing that it’s only a shallow grave; of learning the balance between being empowered and overpowering others; of learning the difference between being truly healed and being calloused and numb to the pain.
VALERYN. Baldur’s Gate 3 OC; wizard necromancer, neutral good tiefling; tav and companion verses. multi-verse, multi-ship. potential triggers present include but are not limited to racism, c-ptsd, csa, slavery, vengeance, blood & gore & other game / world content. 21+. Written by Penny. Activity varies.
♡ @headsmansax
the executioner's axe hovers over his neck, the blade sharpening with every passing day. death is part of the circle of life. it would always catch up to him, though he hoped to lessen the casualties whenever the ticking time bomb above his heart would decimate. the group is taking a small reprieve at camp. all of them attempting to rest and perhaps wrap their minds around the current horrors that threaten them. elminster's arrival had been a shock, and even more so were the words that left his talented tongue. mystra's demand that he play sacrificial lamb has his mind in knots. forgiveness is something he had been yearning for, but he had hoped to still be around to embrace mystra once more.
there's a heaviness that hangs over his tent, as the wizard stares at his hands silently, thinking. he doesn't notice tharia's arrival at first as his mind is scattered. moments pass before lifting his head, eyes widening at the sight of his companion. ❝ oh, forgive me. how long have you been standing there? ❞ he shook his head and stood to come face to face with the other. ❝ doesn't matter. i am burdened with thoughts about my . . . sacrifice. i admit that i am - afraid. a word i do not often use, but i believe it suits the current situation. what are your thoughts on mystra's command? if you were me, would you see this through to the bitter end? ❞
Tharia shifts her weight from foot to foot, considering Gale. Whatever interactions she may have had in the past with the gods has been swept away along with the rest of her memories. All she has now is her companion's stories of love and loss. But one thing's for certain, it seems that Gale is getting the raw end of the deal.
“ It seems especially cruel—I couldn't imagine asking a lover, even estranged, to... to... ” she trails off, gesturing.
And she stands by what she says. Gale often speaks of Mystra and love in the same breath, the kind of yearning and devotion that seems highly at odds with what she asks of him. It seems the type of thing to be treasured and nurtured, not tossed aside in the greater scheme of things. Not to mention, Mystra is a goddess. Shouldn't she know a better path more than anyone?
Something sours in her stomach at the thought. Tharia blinks up at Gale, her face becoming a mask of grim determination.
“ If that's the decision you wish to make. But just know, I'll try to find you a way out of this no matter what happens. ”
The Fall of the House of Usher Starters !
Taken from the Netflix 2023 series, The Fall of the House of Usher! Some of these have already been edited. You can change them however you see fit! There may be some light spoilers present!
“Listen, I’m sorry… For your loss. For your losses, rather.”
“Have a glass. See what a few years of your worth tastes like.”
“Don’t lecture me on family values. You’re just as shit in that department as I am.”
“The gates are always open but that doesn’t mean you answer the phone?”
“Don’t mention them ever. They don’t exist. Do you understand?”
“They will love you because I love you, and the only thing stronger than love is how fucking scared they are of getting cut out of the will.”
“All good. Right behind you.”
“You guys, we should really get together more often. It’s just a balm for the soul.”
“You know what a resolution is? It’s a deal you make with the future.”
“You’re basically 80% cum, I can fucking smell it on you.”
“Jesus, (Name), when you get going, you get going.”
“The oven mitts come off and the nail polish goes on.”
“It’s better, I promise, in the moment just before than in the moment after.”
“You are consequence, (Name). And tonight, you are consequential.”
“You are a pretty, pretty little thing.”
“Opportunity doesn’t give a fuck what you’re going through.”
“(Name), damn it, everybody knows that edible arrangements are what you send to people you hate.”
“If you start thinking this is reality, you’ll just slip into the abyss.”
“You shouldn’t be here and you don’t have to be here. That’s all I was saying.”
“It’s amazing how far you can get on denial.”
“Christ, no one knows they’re the fall guy until they’re falling.”
“Don’t complain about the drugs.”
“He throws us the food and watches us fight for it. You know that.”
“You’re not who I thought you were.”
“I didn’t want to think it but… you’re all fucking monsters.”
“Don’t have to be smart to be dangerous.”
“You gotta be smart. You have to realize, you can’t trust people. Not you. Not anyone.”
“Don’t stand there and look all hurt, you asshole! You think I don’t know?”
“Shut your mouth, get your shit together. The fuck is wrong with you?”
“Both of us lucky in one way, at least. Got good people at home who love us anyway. Let’s not let them down.”
“I trusted them, so I trusted you.”
“All of the best of (Name) without… without the broken heart.”
“You don’t have to be a tyrant, but if you don’t want to be consistently cruel, then you have to be sufficiently brutal at least once to establish authority.”
“I’m sorry. Why the fuck would you do that, sweetheart?”
“No, I’m afraid you’re ringside for my reckoning, old friend.”
“You’re a collection of impeccable, elaborate masks in orbit of a stunted heart.”
“You’re a monster, you know that?”
“Should’ve died here, honey. It would have made you an honest person.”
“You only ever wanted to be loved by them. You only ever wanted their approval. And it’s still no fucking excuse.”
“If I die, this stops?”
“Outsourcing intimacy.”
“I look at you and I see… you. The poverty of you.”
“We’re a… Virus, I think. People, I mean.”
“It’s a slap on the wrist that comes with a blowjob.”
“I say this with love. Let it go. Let it all go.”
“I knew I would climb to the top of the tower on a pile of corpses.”
“Because it don’t matter in the end why you did any of it. I don’t fucking care why you did it.”
“We don’t want your confession, or your rationale, or your explanation. So take all that with you, why don’t you.”
saw this on the former bird app and it made me say "that's tharia" out loud so now you guys have to see it too
bby girl why do you look so good covered in blood
@lordgortrash said: ' no one touches what's mine. '
“ Feeling possessive are we? ” Tharia asks, the scarred corner of her mouth creeping upward. Carefully, she files this away in the back of her mind, another facet of Gortash to be dissected at her leisure. There is much she can admire about her chosen conspirator, but she finds she prefers when all the little messy pieces rearrange into something terribly flawed.
Something, she recognizes, not unlike herself.
“ May I ask what or who this little display is about? ”
She tilts her head to the side, studying him with mismatched eyes. There is no fear of retribution, of overstepping with such questions. Why, Tharia barely feels anything at all anymore. Part of her, one she’s loath to acknowledge, wishes someone would try to carve out her liar’s tongue.
@demonwebs said: ❝ we needn’t be enemies. there’s plenty of those to go around already. ❞ (from malavai)
“ I agree, however… ”
Tharia shifts her weight from foot to foot, her armor making a soft metallic sound in the process. Her arms fold across her chest as she looks Malavai over. She thinks of Gortash, promising that they be allies, and the familiarity that threatens to take her in. She thinks of Karlach’s rage, of Wyll’s grief. Being allies seems to have a steep price these days.
Perhaps it’s different. Perhaps she is a raw, gaping wound after learning she is Bhaal’s chosen. Bhaal’s beloved daughter.
There’s a metallic taste in her mouth that heralds bile in her stomach. She swallows, hard, to push it down.
“ I’d feel better knowing your motivations. ”
