mostly alright.

amanda

[headstrongandhealing]

This time next week, we'll have the uHaul packed. The house will be cleaned, the chinchilla secured in her carrier, the final goodbyes to this city made, and I'll no longer be "the bolter".

I wish I didn't resent them all for not visiting me in 5 years (in 12), but I do still, at least a little (a lot on lonely days). But growing into a woman all on my own built me differently from them; I can be uniquely identified in the data pool of my family as the Other, and when I really take a look around, I'm okay with that.

There's a bitter refusal to let pettiness go and let love in within every one of them that I truly hope I didn't inherit. I watch them violently shut people out and cry the next day that they're always the uninvited, always the shunned. I watch them stomp their feet and scream that they'll never use a "They" pronoun, and then fall to their knees and call the Pope by a chosen name. I don't believe in one god, but hell yeah will I call that man Leo.

I get to start fresh again. Redefine, reshape, refresh the narrative. Reform the woman I want to be and travel and live in the honor of some of the amazing people I've met along the way. I'm going to Solo Travel for Abi; I'm going to Explore for Amber; I'm going to be Brave for Cait; I'm going to show Compassion for Jesse; I'm going to Create for Rachel; I'm going to show Love for Sheryl; I'm going to Share Life Experiences for George -- I'm going to live the best way I know how with the moral code that I know I have inside me. It was hard to hold onto for a little bit there, but I'm hanging on with ten claws this time.

[boatgrave-deactivated20250901]

[headstrongandhealing]

Maybe there's beauty in the way that you never blocked me, and I never blocked you either. Maybe there's poetry in the way you're still saved in my phone (maybe a sad poem).

I don't pine for you. But I dream about you, and I hope more than anything that you're okay.

[angelofthemornings-deactivated2]

Regardless of your gender or sexuality, reblog this and tag your most hetero male trait. Mine is either obsessing over my Altima or sitting around watching TV shows about air disasters.

[barefootdramaturg]

For some reason, it never occurred to me that Project Gutenberg would have public domain old cookbooks. This is BRILLIANT. There’s a 1953 cranberry recipe pamphlet and a suffrage cookbook from 1915 and a translation of Apicus’s guide to food in Imperial Rome and a whole bunch of other fascinating old cookbooks, many pre-1800. Treasure trove!

[optimysticals]

I love you for sharing this!!!

[ferrific]

For more old cookbooks, Michigan State University has 76 of their historical cookbooks scanned and searchable at Feeding America: The Historic American Cookbook Project.

[hsavinien]

For even older recipes, check out Gode Cookery.  They list medieval and Renaissance cooking instructions and translate the recipes for you into measurable amounts and all.

[runecestershire]

I have have have to mention Miss Leslie. I learned so much about cooking from that book, even if a lot of it is outdated.

Also, Forme of Cury is great fun, if you can muddle through the Middle English (Gode Cookery has translations and adaptions of some of the recipes from this).

[sarkos]

I’ll always take an opportunity to remind people of Barkham Burroughs’ Encyclopaedia of Astounding Facts and Useful Information, which also contains recipes

[headstrongandhealing]

happy spooky month, tumblr. 🎃 ❤️

[headstrongandhealing]

Am I running from something or simply honing my craft?

[itsbrig]

I have deep love for the cat.

[headstrongandhealing]

Oh annnd I started a food blog for recipes for just friends & family 💚

[headstrongandhealing]

May to August was a whirlwind of change and sweat, but we're here!

This week I've:

- fought online in DMs with a white supremacist whose running for local office and didn't like my "stiff" joke about the dicks spray painted on his campaign signs

- shopped and packed for my first trip to the beach since my mom passed almost 10 years ago. FUCK ME UP, FLORIDAA.

- experienced my one year anniversary of my bariatric surgery. 65+ inches down, several pants sizes, 4 bra sizes at least, two big clothes sizes, and 140 pounds later... I've reversed the weight & some of the damage done on my body back to 2016.

- cooked some fire air fryer egg rolls

Soon, I'm gonna be a ✨️32 year old lady✨️

[headstrongandhealing]

A little bit of Me in May so far ❤️

* One brown butter iced banana bread * One snazzy outfit on a bad day just to show my friend I had "gotten out of bed and got outside clothes on" * One sweet pup glued to my line of sight * One scary solo painting class I went to all on my own.

[headstrongandhealing]

In March, we traveled to Virginia for tragic reasons, celebrated life, and came home with more family than we'd left with; in April, we traveled to Missouri to see (maybe) once in a life time solar events; in May, we went to farmer's markets and try new recipes every weekend (including a bomb lil greek yogurt bark from tonight.)

Life's kinda busy when you're healthy enough to live it.

[headstrongandhealing]

Hair? Coppery.

Eyebrows? Bushy.

Bosom? Busty.

For the first time since actual middle school, I changed my hair and it has become my entire personality.

It feels so nice to wall about the world without so much fear about if I'll get out of breath walking on flat ground through a Walmart, if a booth at a sitdown restaurant will cut me in half or just be a lil snug (or god forbid their chairs have arm rests that try to cut my thighs), or...the much bigger worry... if I would develop insulin resistance and full blown diabetes.

I hit 6-months post surgeru this month, which included a full blood workup, and I couldn't be happier. When I can pull metrics of exactly how my insides were suffering May of last year, how elevated my liver and sugars were, and then look at things now in perfectly "normal" ranges... it brings me a lot of peace.

I could very well be hit by a bus tomorrow or live another 40 years, but knowing I've put so much effort, time, and a lil money into extending that QOL is enough for me. There's still a laughably long journey ahead before I could be considered fit, but I'm stronger at 31 than I was at 23, so I'm good with that.

Hope you find peace in your day too.

[whimsigothwitch-deactivated2026]

Handle with care

[headstrongandhealing]

Today I went in for an ultrasound of my calf (to be sure my circulation issue was only because of my weight and not something more ominous) & was surprised to find out I'd be stripping down Winnie the Pooh style & that this "calf" ultrasound actually starts with your femoral artery.

Nevertheless, she persisted, and happy to report that there were no blood clots or scaries to be found...completely normal circulation. Blood sugar that was found to be diabetic in May? Officially in "prediabetic" range now, only 10 points off normal. Elevated liver enzymes and non existent vitamin d? All normal.

I am 88 pounds down from August, 50+ inches, and can finally see both visually and in inches a reduction in the swelling of my leg and foot. You don't realize how impossible navigating the world is with a bowling ball for a calf until you have it - no cute socks (almost no socks at all), velcro shoes bc even sneakers were too tight on top, all pants are a size too big everywhere except the calf, you literally feel like you're pulling something heavy around with you all day... it's embarassing and physically taxing.

But I curled up today in our bean bag with a book and a giant ice water, tucked my legs into myself and I felt...normally proportioned. Still quite large by all standards, but I didn't feel like I was drowning in my ED and bad decisions. I just got to curl into a lil ball and read a lil book in the sun and it was nice.

What will the 300s feel like? The 200s? How much more of my life will I get lucky enough to get back? I hope in the grand scheme that I'll have plenty of time to enjoy it once it's here.

Goodnight ❤️

[headstrongandhealing]

We made some pretty badass punkin's for two goofs in a kitchen with $5 tools.

Naturally, mine was Poe themed 🐦

[headstrongandhealing]

Making memories is usually something you don't realize you're doing until the moment's passed. This weekend with you, I could feel the camera shutter snapping moments before you ever pulled out your phone.

Could feel myself reaffirming the love I feel, feel how patient you are with me, and we were able to celebrate my newfound mobility with breathtaking views that I couldn't experience without pain just a few months ago.

I took a photo of myself when we returned to the car, all wind-chilled but a tiny bit sweaty from the walk, because I thought I looked crazy and you said I was beautiful.

I took a photo of you at 7am, hot chocolate in hand, because you looked like a cozy little guy, bundled against the freezing cold, but happy...I loved you even more for it.

You took a photo of us on top of a mountain and then teased me with "I said you were supposed to make a goofy face, but you just made that cute one!"

You're so special to me.