Begin Again || Ava and James
Fourty-eight days what when she had stopped counting. Fourty-eight days was when Ava decided that she was no longer going to allow herself, or him, the time of day to wonder where he was, whether he was alright, whether he was alive. For all the compassion Ava had, she was also one who would let a grudge boil inside until it spilt over one day. Day forty-eight she told herself that was it, she had three kids, three. Two that she wasnāt even sure where they had appeared from or whether they truly were hers. That point was irrelevant now since Ava had become attached to Felicia, more so in Jamesā absence, and the older Addie wasnāt so terrible of a teenager (from what she knew). Her world had grown from revolving around one little girl to revolving around two little girls and a teenager. She couldnāt allow herself time to wallow in sadness, boil in anger, or drown in worry. Not when she had others depending on her.
So that was it. Night forty-eight she fell asleep determined to erase him from her mind come dawn. It seemed like a simple idea, but it was a challenge. Of course he filtered into her mind every now and then when she took her afternoon walks, praying that the man in a nicely dressed in a suit would turn and reveal to be James. That never occurred. As as the days turned to weeks he slowly began to dissipate from a strong presence to a nagging little wonder. Ava had done her best to move on. She kept herself busy with the young girls, with her work, with movies and little projects. She found herself doing well, excited about life again, and enjoying the company of others. It helped ease what ever little scab was left from a previous wound.
She hadnāt expected him to appear. She hadnāt expected him at all. Sure, there was something deep down, nagging in her mind and heart that hoped he one day would but she had tried to remove that memory of him so much that she had never prepared for his appearance.
Which was the reason Her smile and jovial tones had gone from their typical warmth when she spoke to the patient she was dismissing home to almost annoyed frown. She regarded him almost coldly, the memory of him flooding her. His familiar scent attempting to coax her into opening the floodgate of emotions she had done so well keeping at bay.
āMr. Padraic,ā Ava could feel her jaw tense, āI wasnāt sure if you were returning for the semester.ā Ava maintained a polite tone, nothing overtly friendly in order to keep the emotional distance between them. āI see you made it safely, welcome back, I suppose.ā Ava drank in his appearance, but pivoted and busied herself with filing the paperwork of the previous patient instead, āIām just about closing up and I have a busy schedule after, if there isnāt any medical assistance you require, I would suggest you drop by another time.ā
yousharknotpass
romaincrisis
turnnoffyourmind
blakekathryn
