Peace, Love and Victory

welcome

[healingfeeling]

Here comes the anxiety It resides in me It's inside of me A game of hide and seek That makes me so damn weak

I can't confide You see No ones listening Its just me Witnessing

[healingfeeling]

To find my escape In quiet waves of happiness Do i have to run Always hide or take flight Fingers moving with sloppiness Find a place of peace For a mind that can't release A sentence or a speech Let me rest now please

Hands written Fingers torn Born with a fascination Of living by the sword I'm tired And there's no knowing Am I broken or forgotten Everything's in slow motion

I feel sick This feels wrong Ringing all alarms Is this God twisting my arm?

[healingfeeling]

There was never any rules Any class, any tools That could have prepped a life for this They were right.... Ignorance is bliss

Figuring it out Will always be a constant game Never knowing what may come Hardly knowing the right way That's right Just for today

[healingfeeling]

Words with no weight As if they were fake A mistake Letters that ran away

And I'm not sure why When it happened What time It's as if I lost what was once mine Pile on the pressure Place a title or a blame It is insane And this is pain

My drink tastes sour And the resentment can't sustain Write it down and chase the happiness

What else could you do in this game?

[healingfeeling]

I yearn for the day

When you tell me

That I am the man you wanted

That man of your dreams

Each night I go to bed dejected

Wonder what this could be

If you could only love me

For me

I’ll be honest

I’m not sure how much longer

I can do this

I have to get back to being me

The man with self esteem

The man I used to be

And it can’t be with you

I think…

If only things could change

I pray every night before I sleep

Where there is a world of your affection

It would be so sweet

So sweet

[healingfeeling]

Where did you ever go

The person who I once was

Before time passed by

As it so unfortunately does

Once was so kind

So caring

Transitioning through life

With smooth bearings

How simple it all used to be

When it was just the pen

The paper and me

[healingfeeling]

Peace, Love and Victory turned 13 today!

[healingfeeling]

As I sit here pondering my thoughts

I begin to wonder why everything is so dark

As if I wasn’t meant to be here

It’s all so unclear

So if I ask myself what it’s all about

Would I cast a wave of sudden doubt?

Yes, it is so unclear

This is something I feared

I’m sorry my dear

Please trust that I’m sincere

[healingfeeling]

If ever one day I could be the man You always dreamed Would maybe that day You become my queen? It's not that I lack self-esteem I've just seen things That make it hard To put my mind at ease

So please Would you extend your hand? You could say that I am That I am your man

I believe we could be happy Above satisfactory You just so happen to be The perfect one for me

[healingfeeling]

It's been a while Since I left you with a note Everyday in everyway Always erasing what I wrote Didn't think it was good enough Like I was good enough To bring us back to check Must be something we left way back when When you were nothing but a friend I miss you It's true Wish I could kiss you But it's through But hey, with this imagination At least I have my tissues

It was nice It still is I'm here then you're not Let's say we did it for the kids

[healingfeeling]

To love

To care

For a person

Who hardly notices you’re there

To love

To not be seen

By the person

Who promised to always love me

To love

But not be understood

To face the dilemma

I coulda, shoulda, would

To love

When the children run around

To smile

When feeling so down

To love

To hide my cries

In front of the eyes

That think that I’m the sky

To love

In the face of disrespect

Makes me think I should run

With never looking back

To love

[healingfeeling]

It is real

Whether you choose to see it

I feel this

Within me

[healingfeeling]

I used to be happy I'd laugh and I'd sing I could tell you a joke About almost anything

I used to be happy With a smile on my face I used to be happy But all of that has changed

[healingfeeling]

I'd be lying if I said I was ok And I'm not quite sure why I'm feeling this way It's as if I'm broken And I can't find the peace That once gave me comfort And eyes when I couldn't see

I'm lost And not found What's wrong? I'm not sound

I'd be lying if I said I was ok It's bad when I can't even fake a smile Say hi and I walk away And away I'll go for a while..

[healingfeeling]

And it looks like her dreams are coming true

If not for you

And the hard work we do

In time

We’ll find such happiness

With less stress

A dream

I must confess

[healingfeeling]

As I reflect on today, I’ve thought of the things that have led to my successes in life. I have broken it down into three things:

1. Accountability   -Following through with what you say you’re going to do.

2. Humility     -Freeing yourself from your own pride or arrogance 

3. Learning from your mistakes    - And taking them to heart

[healingfeeling]

How to learn from such mistakes When there’s this sudden void  Perhaps I should continue to listen Find a way to filter the noise?

To reflect on today Where I know where I went wrong Learning from my mistakes As I sing my wordless song

I’m the only one listening My mind needs a break I’m lost in this mistake Justifying it as fate

I surrender Reminding myself as I go Learning from these mistakes Will be how I grow