you are loved.

welcome. im glad you're here.

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Hey Sophie! My seasonal depression is back and is killing me. Do you have any advice on how to deal with it and cope?

hey ♡

I’m sorry you’re feeling so down. try to focus on getting as much sunlight as you can while you’re awake, opening windows, going for daily walks, exercise etc. keep your body moving and as hard as it is try not to stay in bed all day or sit in front of the tv for hours at a time because that won’t do anything but make you feel worse. try to keep a list of things that make you happy so when you feel yourself getting sad or feeling bad you can try some ways to bring your mood up. listen to music, podcasts, take time for self care and improving yourself. being around friends or people that make you happy will probably help a lot too. finding a new hobby, reminding yourself of the things that bring joy to your life. and remember that this time will pass, you are strong and there are so many small things that are around you for your happiness and enjoyment so make the most of them. 

- Sophie 

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Hello Sophie. For once I'd just like to say thank you for giving me support these past years, even as an anon. Please keep doing what you do, you have no idea how much it means to know there is kindness outside. Hope you're doing fine in your life.

hey ♡

thankyou so much, that means a lot. I’m gald you’re able to get support from talking to me. I really hope you’re doing good.  

- Sophie 

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Hey can I ask u a question related to the chlamydia cus now I have it and I’m freaking out

hey ♡

yes you can. i’ll try to give the best advice i can. 

- Sophie 

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1/2 Hi Sophie. I've been following you for a while now and I think it's really amazing of you to help people the way you do. I was hoping you'd want to help me with a relationship issue. I've been in a long-distance relationship with a guy for 9 months now, but I've known him for over 2 years already. I notice it immediately when he gets upset, because the way he talks to me changes. He becomes short with me and very quiet. But when I ask him what's wrong, he always tells me he's ok.

(full question) 2/2 And that's always the only thing he'll say. He's "ok" or fine, even though to me it's very obvious that he's not. So I try to give him space, but that just makes the whole thing go on for days. He acts cold and distant and shuts me out. But on the other hand, if I try (or beg) to get him to please talk to me, he keeps on saying he's fine. Now it's happening again and I don't want to end up in a fight. I don't know what to do. Do you have any advice? hey ♡ thankyou so much! with long distance relationships the most important thing is communication, you need to be building a solid ground on the fact that you can communicate with eachother and find ways that both allow you to do that. typically guys don’t like to talk about their feelings or express their emotions and he may just be the type of person that has a hard time doing this or that prefers to deal with issues by himself, it may also be because he doesn’t want to feel like he’s adding more stress into the long distance thing by sharing how he feels. I would say if he is really resisting telling you what’s wrong then don’t push him or beg him no matter how frustrating it is because that’ll just leave you angry and more likely that an argument will start. it would be a good idea to talk to him and tell him how you feel that his behavior effects you and the relationship when he does act in that way so he can see how you feel, be open with him and put it all out there and see what he says, remind him that you both need to be trying and that you’re there for him even if you are far away. also when you feel that he is in a bad or sad mood try to do something to make him feel better, when you’re far away you can still plan things that you know he likes, even just watching a movie on facetime or setting up a little date could make a whole difference to his mood and help him take his mind off whatever is going on in his life. keep trying and keep being open with him. communication is vital to any relationship, not just long distance ones.  - Sophie 

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Hello Sophie! It’s been 1 year1/2 that me and my girlfriend broke up. It’s not that I still love her but I feel like my life is not doing well since that thing, I lost confidence (+ I feel ugly) and I’m sad very very quickly. I can’t talk to another girl anymore ‘cause of that lack of confidence, I saw that she’s happier (in love) than me because she dated a lot of guys after our relationship. I want to believe that there is justice in our world but why am I not happy ? Thank you for being there

hey ♡ it’s always hard trying to feel like yourself after a breakup especially when you’ve been with them for a long time like you had and moving on is different for everyone. your confidence is probably effected a little because when you’re in a relationship you get that feeling of someone liking you, someone there giving you compliments, boosting your self esteem etc. and when a person isn’t doing that anymore you start to doubt and negative self talk. you need to find things that make you happy again, that give you confidence, that might be putting on an outfit that you love or doing your hair differently etc. just try to find ways that make you feel better about yourself and take this reflection as a time to work on yourself outside of a relationship, focus on yourself and what you need. even if she’s dated a lot of people since you broke up it doesn’t always mean that she’s happy, try not to focus so much on what she’s doing (i know it’s hard) because then you’ll start comparing and that isn’t going to make you happy or do anything good for your mental health, find peace in the fact that you had what you had and now it’s time for you to be there for yourself and find your own happiness. confidence will come with time and the more you start to talk to new people the more you’ll feel like you can talk to them and get comfortable in opening up new relationships and friendships with other girls.  - Sophie  

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Hello, Sophie. I don't think you remember me, but 11 year old anon is back after almost, I'm not sure, a year? I'm 12 now, and I didn't think I'd have to come back to this blog, but sadly things go downhill. I really hope you're doing well, you're truly and amazing person, you deserve in the world, believe me, and if you're fine with it I'll rant here sometime because honestly it's all come full circle. I adore you with all my heart, your kindness, generosity, and all and I truly hope you well💜

hey ♡

i’m sad that you’re not coming back to this blog for happier reasons but i am always here to listen and support you, you can rant whenever you need too about whatever and i will always try my best to help. ♡

- Sophie

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Hi Sophie! So recently I was on Facebook and went to my now serious boyfriend’s page to find an old photo of him and I from like 9 years ago to show my best friend and I’m scrolling back on his photos and end up coming across (unintentionally) tagged photos of him from his wedding with his abusive ex wife. My heart immediately sank into my stomach and I started tearing up. I don’t know why it bothers me so much, but every time I come across the photos somewhere online, (Part 1)

(full question) 2/2 I end up a mess over it. Our whole love story to begin with is messy in the beginning of it, but there’s just something about coming across those photos that doesn’t sit right with me. Do you have any suggestions on how I can talk to him about removing the tagged photos from that time? I’m afraid I’m going to upset him trying to explain why it bothers me, but I just don’t know what else to do. Especially since those photos were from just only 2 and a half years ago so it’s still fresh.

hey ♡

seeing any picture of your current partner with one of their ex’s is hard and not something you want to see. you probably got that feeling because you know how she treated him, because their relationship was at that next stage (marriage) that yours hasn’t reached yet, because you might have an underlying fear that there are still feelings attatched to that time in his life, which of course there are going to be and that isn’t a bad thing. there isn’t a reason to go back that far onto his facebook again since the reason you found them the first time was just to find a picture of you two, so try not to sit there scrolling through his facebook looking for pictures because you know how it’s going to make you feel and you’re going to upset yourself more. just sit him down and express how you feel, communicate with him, explain why they upset you, even if you don’t know why exactly. but you also have to remember that them pictures were probably from a happy time in his life, a time that may have no ended well but they’re still a part of his life, he spent that day surrounded by people who love and care about him so try to understand if he doesn’t want to remove the pictures or the tags from the pictures. all you can do is communicate your feelings and then try to support him in the choice that he makes. the important thing to focus on is that you two have a life together now and things have been hard like you said but you’re there and think of the amount of new pictures you can take to show this stage of your life together. pictures from the past are just memories, they’re just the past. your relationship has survived this far with the pictures tagged and it will continue whether the pictures are there or not. 

- Sophie 

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(2/2)he's rude to everyone and insults whoever is the unlucky one to want something from him. Also, our parents don't really discipline him, so he basically gets whatever he wants, regardless of his behaviour. Before, I thought it's going to be fine, but now my mental health suffers due to this situation. Also, I can't really go to live with other family, so I'm stuck here for the next few years. I know that if it continues, I might just do sth I might regret (I don't have access to therapy rn)

(full question) Hi Sophie! I'm writing to you to ask for some advice. So, I currently live with my parents and little brother due to my poor mental state that prevents me from supporting myself. P. were not the best with me+my sister in terms of support. Before I left for college, I had a good relationship w/my brother, but during my time away I basically cut contact with all of them (he was 10), so you can imagine that our connection did not survive it. But now I can't stand him hey ♡ if you were so close with him before why did you decide to cut all contact with him when you left? I understand if you were to cut contact with the rest of your family but your brother, especially at that age, they still look up to their older siblings and want to bond and connect with them so maybe the way he’s acting now is due to the fact he might possibly feel excluded or pushed aside by you? i think you should try to talk to him, have a conversation and explain your feelings, he could have personal stuff going on which is affecting his behavior and making him act out, it could help if he felt like he had someone to talk to. i’m sure he still wants to have a relationship with you even if he doesn’t outwardly show it and i’m sure if you told him how he’s bahaviour is affecting you and your health that he would care enough to think and make changes based on that. have you discussed it with your parents too? they should know whats going on and how living with them isn’t the best for you how the current situation is. they might be blinded by his behavior because he’s the youngest sibling or because they’re too busy to notice, hense the ignoration and getting what he wants.

- Sophie

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My dad always makes me feel like I’m a disappointment. I constantly get “jokes” made about me to others. He’s very passive aggressive and it makes me anxious. My mom gets noticeably upset making me very anxious as well. I want so bad to run away and get as far away as possible but at the same time I know if I leave things won’t be the same. Should I just go crazy and do what I want if I’m going to be made to feel guilty anyways? I’ve honestly been so good so I’m confused. What should I do?

hey ♡your dads feelings are not a projection of you at all. you’re not a dissapointment and i know your parents judgments and opinions can be all you care to hear but they’re not always true. you need to live your life so you shouldn’t need to go crazy or feel guility for doing what you want to do. take time for yourself and do the things that you enjoy and the things that you want to experience but don’t feel like you have to hide what you’re doing or not do something just because of what your family say, within reason of course. don’t be ‘good’ just to please them if you’re making yourself unhappy at the same time. - Sophie

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I feel like im at the lowest of lows rn i can't stop thinking about how good it would be if i just killed myself. Im exhausted with my life. No one understands how i feel and think that its just a phase.

hey ♡i completely understand how you feel. you are not alone. and i know that nothing would be good if you killed yourself. i know when you’re at your lowest point it feels like things will only get worse from there but the good thing about being at the lowest of lows is that it can only get better. i know when you feel like this it’s hard to want to get out of bed or talk or eat or do anything but you need to do all of them things for you, you need to try to distract your mind and change your mindset in ways that can only improve your life. what makes you happy, what makes you want to live, when do you feel most joy? think about all these things and try to come up with ways to incorporate small incremental changes everyday that lead to an incrediable shift in your life. so many things can be changed for the better, jobs, living situations, your body, your mindset, your friendships, the people you surround yourself with etc. it’s going to take time, and it’s not going to be one straight path to happiness, there are going to be hard days, days where you still don’t want to get out of bed or do anything but i believe in you and things can and will get better. you won’t always feel like this. 

- Sophie

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Hi, how are you?

hey ♡thankyou so much for asking, im doing okay right now, how are you? - Sophie

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Hey Sophie! I've been going through kind of a tough time lately. I have insomnia and my sleep doctor recently told me that I struggle with anxiety. I have to see a psychologist and while I'm not completely upset about that, I have other stuff that feels overwhelming. My aunt who in the past has struggled with breast cancer, found out she has a brain tumor and she's in hospice care. I don't really feel like I can talk to any of my friends about feeling sad bc they don't understand.

hey ♡i’m so sorry to hear that, you don’t deserve to be having such a rough time. seeing a psycologist could help you understand a lot of feelings you’re having and could give you some really good tips on how to deal with some of the issues you’re having so it’s good that you’re willing to talk to see them and take that direction. and even though your friends may not understand it may help to talk to them, they can support you and be there for you when you need someone to listen and sometimes that’s all you need even if they don’t know what to say or haven’t been in a situation to know what you’re going through everyone has their own battles and everyone has experienced things that could make their understanding better. 

- Sophie

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My friend H and her boyfriend are trying to set me up with his friend. They set up a double date in a couple days so we can meet but like Im awkward and weird and an asshole when I'm nervous. H gave him my number and we've been texting but half the time we text hes high and the only thing we seem to bond over is Marvel movies. I haven't met him yet so I dont want to judge but I just dont know about him. Ive never been in a relationship(which for some reason is bad for a 17 year old)same with him

hey ♡if you’re going into it thinking you’re awkward and weird then that’s all you’re going to be thinking about and you’re going to get yourself stressed out quickly. instead of seeing your bad qualities, try to focus on your good ones, it’ll make you more confident and you’ll be able to feel like you have something to offer. if you’ve been texting then at least it’s a start, if you’re not into someone who is always getting high or someone who doesn’t make much effort texting back or seeming interested then don’t try to force conversation, it should come naturally to you both and you should be abe to find more things you can bond over and talk about to keep it flowing. it’s not bad at all not being in a relationship at that age, everyone is different so don’t let society’s pressures and views make it seem like your timeline has to be exactly the same as everyone elses, what would be the point of rushing into a relationship for the sake of putting an age on something. because nobody cares, nobody is worrying about what age you had your first kiss, or what age you lost your virginity or what age you had your first relationship, it literally doesn’t matter at all, it’ll just add to the stress and pressure. you can go on the date and if you don’t bond with him or know it’s not something you want then you never have to see him again or talk to him again, but you could meet him and he could be completely different to how you imagine and it could go great, but you’ll never know if you don’t try. - Sophie

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So I tend to act pretty immature and I want to be taken more seriously. What steps can I take to be a more mature person so people can take me seriously without losing my more childish side ?

hey ♡why do you feel like you act immature? sometimes all it takes is knowing how to act in the right situations. if someone is trying to have a serious conversation with you or explain something to you then make sure you are taking the time to listen to them, not getting distracted or not paying attention because that’ll make it seem like you’re not intererested and showing the signs that you can pay attention, be aware and show respect when someone is talking to you is important in showing maturity. with your family try to help them with things such as cooking, cleaning, etc. that shows that you want to be responsible and help them out which will show them that you’re growing and becoming someone who is more mature and knows how to take care of “adult” tasks. don’t feel like you can’t have a silly side just because you fear coming off as childish or immature because nobody can be boring all the time, we all want to have fun and there might be people who judge you for that but as long as you know yourself that you are able to act a certain way or know how to judge situations correctly then that’s all you have to worry about. don’t lose the childish side of your personality or try to grow up too quickly. - Sophie

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Hey! So my bff asked me for a break recently and now I'm starting to rethink our friendship and I feel anxious about it. I don't know what to do. I'm scared and I don't really want to talk to her about it. Any advice?

hey ♡the best thing to do is to communicate with her, express to her your concerns and make sure you know the reasons she’s asking for this break so you can then go and think about the friendship and how you feel about it. don’t try to cling onto toxic or bad friendships just because you’ve been friends for a while or because you feel like best friends, you need to do what’s best for both of you and maybe the break will be a good thing, try not to see it immeditely as a negative situation. there’s a reason she thinks it will help so just talk to her and try to focus on yourself while you guys are apart. - Sophie 

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Dear Sophie: I feel very anxious rn and I'd love your advice. I don't know if I should try to have a part-time job (I haven't finished school) or I should just wait and see what happens until I finish. I'm scared it will mess with my school activities and it turns out to be a big mistake but I'm also scared if I let this opportunity go I might regret it. It really makes me feel terrible and tbh kind of lost. What do you think?

hey ♡

the thing is, if you don’t try then you’re never going to know. you know how much pressure you can handle and what feels right for you so if there is an opportunity for you to get a job if you want one then you can at least apply for it, you can always ask to do an induction for a few weeks before actually commiting just to see what it’s going to be like and to see how easy or hard it is to juggle a job and school, but even if it doesn’t work out for you at least you tried and didn’t miss the opportuity and remember there will always be time after school and college to go into work so don’t feel like you need to rush and find one right away, if you want to focus on school alone then that’s more than okay. maybe consider a summer job, that way you’re not going to be in school everyday and you’ll have time to adjust and get used to a job before having loads of work and assignments to do. just make sure you know your limits and that you don’t go past them to the point where it starts to deterate your health, mental and physical. 

- Sophie 

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I just found out that my friend's(who I slightly like) mom was friends with my mom when they were younger. But when I said "hey I found out that our moms knew each other" he said "yeah when my mom saw you at graduation she pointed at you and asked who you were. When I said your last name was Sullivan she freaked out and it didn't seem like she was a fan of your mom" apparently she doesnt like me cuz I have purple hair and seem like my mom who was trouble and a hoe back in the day

hey ♡

I feel like that really shouldn’t matter, she’s giving you an unfair judgement based on a relative before she even knows you. hair colour has nothing to do with a person, i have pink hair and it really doesn’t change me in any way and so just because your hair is purple or you seem like your mom doesn’t mean anything. try to ignore her or maybe meet her and show her what you are actually like and show her that you’re not a bad person so she can then start forming an opinion based on the person you actually are rather than who your mom is. your friend should know you and be able to stick up for you if his mom says anything untrue. try not to worry too much about it. you and your mom aren’t the same person therefore she doesn’t have a right to prematurely judge you based entirely on that. 

- Sophie