HeartMeetsHearse

I’d like to think I understand it the most, but I don’t. Just documenting my human experience.

[heartmeetshearse]

I’m so lonely

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I spent my life treating you like what I want

[heartmeetshearse]

My life never took off the way I wanted it to. I claim I’m content to others, but it’s an obvious ruse to mask the true pain of not feeling your passions/potiential not being catered to nor acknowledged.

[heartmeetshearse]

If I could see you one more time, I’d cry and shrivel up like a coward. I’d admit you were so right about me, and apologize without so much as a fragment of forgiveness in mind. Simply for the sake of what apologies are meant for. I’d show you every part of these gnarled guts, every inch of this damaged psyche not for pity, but for the sole purpose of being years too late on giving you the honesty you initially deserved.

[heartmeetshearse]

My father said he drank because he thought his life would be different, and he couldn’t cope with his current reality. A damaged ego that shattered all productivity, I’m trying my hardest but I fear I may be wandering down the same path.

[heartmeetshearse]

I had a talk with a friend about self fulfilling prophecies and being too in love with your agony. While I doubt I love this, I can’t get away from it and it’s ruining everything. There’s no art created out of this, no purpose… it’s wasting me, and what I should’ve been.

[heartmeetshearse]

My mom always said “no woman wants a man with no goals or ambitions” and sadly enough, here I am living just that.

[heartmeetshearse]

The light in my eyes is soooo gone. It’s actually upsetting

[heartmeetshearse]

I’ve been using this account as my outlet. I’m in so much pain and I’ve been hurting for so long. I’m so fucking ugly on the inside and I don’t know how to fix me. I’m disgusted, disappointed, and afraid of how I treat myself. I can’t change it simply because I’m not too sure how to.

[heartmeetshearse]

I’m wasted potential

[heartmeetshearse]

I haven’t showered in at least 4 days. I’m stressed, upset, and banking on a world that wouldn’t think twice about saving me. Help, please fucking help. Let me out

[heartmeetshearse]

Donated so many years of my life being fragile over you.

[heartmeetshearse]

I got everything I need to finally forget about you. I think I’ll bite

[heartmeetshearse]

We did love stunts

[heartmeetshearse]

Proofreading the lives of others is miserable territory.

[heartmeetshearse]

I’m not gonna wake up and everything will just be perfect.

Every day is a challenge and I should respect my present enough to understand that current time should take priority given its value. The past is lonely and only tends to have room for whom that chooses to dwell.

[heartmeetshearse]

What of myself can I do to feel better? Please help.