liberated

sick of all other sm platforms. find me here

[heartofyvonne]

Rewatch- Greys

Currently on the episode where we meet Denny Duquette... I'm not ready for this story line!!!

[heartofyvonne]

Rewatch

I'm currently rewatching Grey's Anatomy from the beginning and I'm on season 2 right now- there are TWENTY SEVEN episodes in this season. That's so crazy. More than 12 episodes a seaosn is so rare these days.

But anyway, this season is so good! I can't believe Derek dumped Meredith after that 'pick me' speech. Scenes!!!

[heartofyvonne]

my faith

over the last 8 years or so, I have been coming to terms with the fact that the faith I grew up is no longer what is best for me. I have felt my connection to pentecostalism and the charismatic gospel fade as each day, week, month, year passes. In fact, in retrospect, I doubt I had any connection to it all. I never got baptised nor did I ever take a purity pledge. I grew disinterested in the youth ministry by the time I was 16. And by the time I reached 18, I lost interest in church all together.

These days, attending services feels like such a chore. I just never know what the pastor will say that could trigger me. I cannot seem to engage with the authoritarian, patriarchal theology that is proudly preached from the pulpit at my church. This is the church I grew up in. But I feel like I have grown so much both physically and spiritually. Now everytime I hear teachings about submissive wives or dangerous harlots, I can feel my heart shrivel up in my chest out of disgust. Did God really create me to be some man's appendage? What was the purpose of my well-rounded education if I was not to be a fully fledged person on my own? What if I was born to be a leader in my family? Should I disregard the gifts God has given me because the "Bible" says I cannot have authority over men?

I can no longer engage with teachings that paint God as a blood-thirsty chauvinist who ordained men to lead. A God brought to me by white-centred men will never be the God I serve.

[exvangelikal-deactivated2022123]

I left Christianity because I realized that I couldn’t even prove any of it to myself, let alone other people.

[heartofyvonne]

I left because I couldn’t reconcile a loving god with a god that would create a hell.

[heartofyvonne]

church beef

It’s Sunday and again I got to have my mornings free from church indoctrination. My soul feels so much more at peace when I don’t have to attend a Sunday service. Every time I step into a church it feels like my insides are at war. Christians would interpret that as the Devil preventing me from being in the presence of the Lord. Whatever that means. But I don’t think it’s the devil. I think I have been able to open my mind up and expand my beliefs beyond the fundamentalist system I was raised in. I was raised to be loyal to the church. I was raised to believe in corporate worship. I was raised to believe that the people who stand at the pulpit and preach for 40 minutes are messengers of god. These beliefs do not sit well with me. Because they are often accompanied by hateful messages laced with homophobia and misogyny. A woman isn’t a person in the eyes of the church. Neither is a queer person. I cannot boldly and proudly follow in a faith that constantly denies people their humanity. 

But these are my Sunday thoughts. I don’t think I’ll ever want to be part of a church again.

[heartofyvonne]

filtrd red #flopdate #flipflopflippyflipfloppyassB

[patriciaellah]

“The hair series is an unfinished project that documents, the different types of Black hair styles and hair types. Black hair is known for its different textures, it known because of the simple fact that it stands out from other hair types. I document the different textures of my friends hair styles to emphasize the difference, the close up shots give a different perspective. It lets the viewer see the different growth pattern, or design structure of the hair type or style.” - By Patricia Ellah

[doomyqueen]

In love. Our hair is like rivers and spirals and mini-galaxies.

[heartofyvonne]

the beauty and elegance of black hair will always amaze me.

[90shiphopraprnb]

Lil’ Kim, by Anderson Ballantyne

[heartofyvonne]

Do I look like I care about all these lies and bad words centred around me? I’m like Garfield, I hate Mondays and I LOVE lasagna (well not that much). I like to stand out. I don’t want to be restrained to the certain principles you have to have in order to be accepted into society. If they don’t like me now, what makes you think they’ll like me when I’m like them. Even If I change I’m not going to be able to keep up the act. It’s just not who I am. I just need the space to be me. Don’t judge me. I’m different. And different can be special. That’s why I love Garfield the cat so much. He doesn’t care about what other people think. It’s just that I’m so overwhelmed by all these people placing their expectations on my shoulders. They all want me to be something I’m not. I can’t be that person they all want me to be. I’m only human.

[heartofyvonne]

I’ve been broken from the scars I forgave

[heartofyvonne]

I don't want to have to feel like this...

Ever wonder what it would be like never to have fallen for somebody. "What if this person wasn't in my life?" Maybe you wouldn't be happier BUT you'd be less broken. Hurt. Which turned into sadness. That later turned into regret and so on. But why is it like this? Why aren't you getting better? The hurt is only temporary. But why does it feel like it's stuck to you like white on rice? In the end "we'll look back and see that it was all worth it". That's what everybody says. But you don't want to have to suffer for something that may not even happen. Something that could be suffered for in vain. Why suffer? Why not be happy? Why does it have to be this way? He says he cares deeply for you. Then why does he keep doing this to you. He told you he loves you. Just once. And that memory will forever be imprinted on your mind but at the same time fading away into a distant dream. Hurt. & Regret. Hurt. More hurt than previous encounters because you know that deep down you love him. Can't live without him so you can't leave him. So whatever, just take what he throws at you & hope you don't fall down in the process...

[heartofyvonne]

God created the world so that through its visible objects, men could understand its spiritual teachings and the marvels of His wisdom.

Paulo Coelho

[heartofyvonne]

What does it mean to be Christian?

For me, Christianity is not a religion. I look at it as a chance to have a relationship with the One who was willing to die so that you could live. Is it all about praying and reading the bible? No. There's no point in that if you don't mediate on what God is telling you. A religion. No. A relationship. Yes. It's a way of life. A lifestyle. People say Jesus can't expect you change. But in actual fact, when you accept Him, that's what is supposed to happen.

When Jesus becomes part of You, he influences the way you live. He takes you for the good and for the bad. He doesn't judge you. Why? Because you repented. You agreed to give your life to Him and for that, all the bad things you did and all your burdens are now his responsibility. He's the one who bore the punishment and He's willing to save you. But this salvation only comes when you accept.

I really find it funny when people think that Christianity is all about prayer and acting holy. You do have to be on your best behaviour. But He's not asking you to be perfect. He's just asking you to listen to Him... 

[heartofyvonne]

Thinkin' bout u

A tornado flew across the room before you came excuse the mess it made it usually doesn't rain in southern California much like Arizona, my eyes don't shed tears. and I've been thinkin' bout u, u know no no...

[heartofyvonne]

My good friend will stop when I wanna tie my shoelace...my BEST friend will go FASTER instead.

[heartofyvonne]

<3

[heartofyvonne]

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.