junebug ! 19 djo. sabrina carpenter. ethel cain. baking. i forgive it all as it comes back to me fangirl to my core. chocolate. oldest sister. yearner to my core.
requesting steve angst!! he struggled with his dad putting pressure on him to follow in his footsteps and broke up with reader but sees her around town and is torn up about it and missing her (bonus points if he sees her on a field trip with her kindergarteners 🥺😭)
i am TRYING to come back plz bear with me 😭💔this took an embarrassingly long amount of time spare me plz
the spring break of your senior year was the worst thing you’ve ever endured.
you and steve had been dating for nearly two years before he broke up with you out of the blue, using college acceptances and “getting his life together” as an excuse.
you knew that it was all bullshit. steve harrington loved you more than life itself, and to break up with you because letters were coming in? yeah, that doesn’t make any sense.
what you did know, though, was that his dad was not fond of you whatsoever. you weren’t the ideal girl for his son. you voiced your opinions, blasted music in your car so loud you could be heard from the other end of the street, and most importantly, you were dirt poor.
mr. harrington found it almost repulsing that you once came to dinner wearing a cardigan your grandma very obviously knit for you rather than a cashmere sweater that costs an arm and a leg.
ever since then, the private dinners at the harrington household consisted of mr. harrington telling steve about his business partners daughters and how good they would be for him.
steve never paid him any mind. he didn’t want them. how could he when he had you?
when steve got his very first rejection letter, his father knew there would be more. “she distracted you.” he’d blame. “i told you she was no good.”
each letter came with a rejection and steve’s fathers resentment towards you grew.
and grew.
and grew.
when his last letter came accompanied by a rejection, mr. harrington sat steve down for a talk.
“if you want me to send you off to college you better say goodbye to that good for nothing girlfriend of yours. i won’t have her mess this up for you too.”
steve was distraught.
the only reason he got through the embarrassment and wallowing that came with the rejections was you. you reassured him everything would be okay, you held him when reality hit, and you helped him preserve at least a bit of his self-worth.
but steve didn’t have any other option, and the expectations that came from the people around him were way too high for him to work at some ice cream parlor for the rest of his life. not when his father was who he was.
so he broke up with you, and now, you were both distraught.
he moved across the country for college to major in business administration, but you stayed home.
you went to community college and majored in early education, something that made steve’s father scrunch his face and down the remainder of the scotch in his glass once he found out.
the first time steve came home, you were in your great aunts farm on the outskirts of town helping around after she lost most of her mobility due to a stroke.
steve had asked his mother about your whereabouts, making sure his father wasn’t anywhere in earshot.
“her great aunt, that poor thing, had a stroke and she went to help around the farm. you know how it is over there.”
steve knew how it was because he had spent countless hot summer days in that farm. he knew how your great aunt made scrambled eggs every morning using fresh eggs, how there’s a specific cow that always gives you more milk, how much you love laying in the field after the sun went down, and most importantly, he knew how hectic it was over there.
how all the chickens somehow managed to escape their coop, how the goats got into random fights, and how the fifteen year old border collie is now practically useless and herds no sheep.
the chaos was warm when you had him to share it with. when it was almost like a glimpse into the future. when spending hours washing dishes and tending to livestock seemed less like a chore and more like moments in love.
it was safe to say that warmness was long gone.
the house no longer smelled like whatever your great aunt was baking and a faint tinge of hay. the sunlight seeping through the curtains was no more; the house was dull and gray.
you couldn’t hear your great aunt laughing from across the house, nor could you hear her record player blasting music. you couldn’t hear steve sing along to whatever 30s classic she put on either, and that hurt the most.
steve tried imagining the farm lacking the sunshine emitting from your great aunt. he tried imagining you all alone in that big house with no one’s warmth to keep you company.
“stevie? are you okay?” his mother snapped him out of his thoughts.
he blinked once, twice, then, “mhm.” he gave her a tight lipped smile, one she read right through.
“hey, how about we go to that diner you love? right around main?” his mother hummed.
“sounds good.” he nodded. “come on, i’ll drive.”
with every turn he took, he saw you. not physically, of course, but in the little things.
the bush you threw up in the first time you got drunk. the bench where you slept on his shoulder whilst waiting for his mom to pick you two up. the cinema where he took you out on your first date. the park where you had your first kiss.
his knuckle-white grip on the steering wheel didn’t go unnoticed by his mother.
she turned on the radio in hopes to lighten up the mood, but quickly tensed upon hearing the song. your song. true by spandau ballet.
steve didn’t waste a second; he immediately switched the channel.
he exhaled sharply upon hearing the third verse to the prettiest star by david bowie.
your favorite part of your favorite song.
his hands were shaking as he attempted to switch the channel again.
“steve—”
he slammed the center stack of his precious beamer, “stupid fucking—”
his mother turned off the radio and the car was silent once more, save for the sound of steve’s heavy breathing.
he was gripping the steering wheel with both hands as opposed to his usual relaxed one handed hold. his shoulders were up to his ears and his eyes were filling up with tears.
was it worth it? was his fathers approval really worth losing you?
when they got to the diner, the old waitress recognized steve instantly and took him to the booth he always sat with you.
his jaw was clenched so tight his mother thought his teeth would break.
“steve.”
“it’s fine.” he said stiffly, eyes darting around the menu, though he wasn’t doing much reading.
“steven.”
that made him look up.
he waited for her to speak, but she never did. he scoffed and looked back down. typical. what was she going to say? that his father was a dick and he should’ve never forced him to break up with you?
steve cut his trip short.
he went about his college years attempting to find something to fill the you-shaped hole in his heart and failed miserably.
you went about your college years chasing academic achievements to trick your brain into forgetting the one thing you really need.
after graduating, steve worked in his fathers LA office and you got a job in hawkins elementary teaching kindergarteners.
he’d see teenagers in love at the park and instantly get taken back to you.
you’d get an outgoing, kindhearted student and your heart would clench.
it never got any easier for either of you. you saw each other in all of the little things it drove you two to the brink of insanity.
two years later, steve’s father died and steve decided to move back home. mostly to support his mother, and partly to hold down the main office.
naturally, his mother wasn’t feeling the best. her grief counselor suggested daily walks in a nearby park.
ever since he returned to hawkins, steve had somehow managed to run away from you every time you’re in his near vicinity.
if he sees your back in the grocery store, he runs out. if he sees your car parked outside a restaurant, he switches destinations. if he smells your perfume in the movie theatre, he goes back home.
this, of course, did too not go unnoticed by his mother.
that’s why when she saw you with your group of 5 year olds in the park, she gave steve a small smile and said, “he’s not here anymore.”
steve’s throat bobbed and looked at you then back to his mother then to you again.
he saw you squinting towards his direction. he saw your eyes widening in realization and he barely caught the small civil smile you gave him.
“go.” his mother urged.
he nodded and made his way towards you. you were too preoccupied with convincing your students not to eat the grass.
“daniel, the cows on my farm eat grass because they are cows. you are not a cow.” you informed, wiping the dirt of his face with the back of your hand.
steve cleared his throat. “hey.”
you froze then slowly turned to look at him. “hi.”
“ms, is that your boyfriend?”
“what?” your head snapped to your students. “no- julianna-what?”
“you’re blushing.” julianna teased.
“am not! go play tag with your classmates, please, julianna.” you exhaled, turning to look at steve again. “i—uh—sorry about them.”
“no worries.” he waved a dismissive hand. “kids.”
“yeah.” you laughed shakily. you paused, then added, “i’m sorry about your dad. sorry i didn’t call or anything—”
“no, no, you’re good.” steve waved you off. “about time, huh?”
“he wasn’t that bad—”
“him making me break up with you is enough.”
“steve, you don’t have to—”
“no, angel, that was the worst thing i’ve ever done and i never should’ve listened to him. not a day goes by where i don’t regret breaking up with you. i seriously shouldn’t have done it.”
you nodded and kissed your teeth. “i hear you’re doing well, so can’t have been too bad.”
“what’s the point if i lost the one person i want by my side?”
your eyes softened, “steve—”
“no, i’ve avoided this for too long, and that son of a bitch isn’t here to stop me now. i was a coward and-and just so fucking stupid i never ever should’ve given you up that easily. i’d rather let my father down and make minimum wage at some record store than not be with you. we’ve been broken up for what, 6 years, and you’re still all i can think about when someone asks me about my plans for the future. i seriously can’t and won’t forgive myself, but i’ll do anything for you to just forgive me and-and maybe give me a second chance or something—”
his rambling was cut short by you pressing your lips against his.
“OOOH SO THAT IS YOUR BOYFRIEND, MISS?” julianna teased.
you rested your forehead on his and scrunched your eyes shut. “probably the worst place you could’ve done this.”
“now or never, no?”
you pulled away fully and steve had to use all his willpower not to pull you back.
“how about we talk about this properly? over coffee or something.” you suggested.
“yeah—i’d love that.” he nodded. “how about that diner on main?”
would you ever do like an instagram au for the styles!reader series? those are such a guilty pleasure of mine and it would be so cute to see general reactions of joe and harry being bros (could u imagine if they actually were irl??? socials would lose their mind literally every single day) and both being pretty private ppl but also nonchalantly dropping a whole song dedicated to their girl 🫠
ynstyles
liked by niallhoran and 2.7million others
ynstyles twin 💙
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harrystyles mama y papa
⤷ djotime 👨🍼
⤷ ynstyles is that supposed to be you two 😧
⤷ harrystyles what about it 🤨
user4 joe and bromance…. #saveyn
djotime
liked by taylorswift and 1.9million others
djotime at least i did one thing right 💙
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user6 using a song she wrong about you FOR HER BROTHER 😭😭😭 that’s just wrong man
ynstyles your son is waiting for you to come home joe 😐😐😐 joe come home 😐😐😐 joe did you forget about your son
⤷ harrystyles can i come see dalt
⤷ ynstyles no
⤷ ynstyles give me back my husband you thief
⤷ djotime there’s enough of me to go around 😅
user3 the duo we didn’t know we needed
ynstyles
liked by sabrinacarpenter and 1.8million others
ynstyles my one and only 🤍
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djotime i took that photo ??
⤷ harrystyles trouble in paradise 😬😬😬 don’t worry bro i’m here for you ❤️
maya_hawke cuties 💗💗
⤷ ynstyles 🥹🥹 he misses u come visit
user7 y/n single mom villain arc now
⤷ ynstyles villain arc djotime
⤷ djotime 😳😳
harrystyles
liked by sabrinacarpenter and 3.9million others
harrystyles through sickness and in health 🤍
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djotime love u bro ❤️❤️
⤷ harrystyles love u more bro ❤️❤️
⤷ djotime bring it in bro ❤️❤️
⤷ harrystyles it’s brought in bro ❤️❤️
⤷ ynstyles bro 😐😐😐
⤷ harrystyles oh no you aren’t a part of this sis
ynstyles SIGHHHHHHHH
user2 y/n done got replaced by her brother 😭😭
⤷ user2 love to see it ❤️
user9 they act more like a married couple than the actual married couple
djotime
liked by sadiesink_ and 2.1million others
djotime rejoiced in our girl 🤍
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ynstyles redeemed ✅✅
ynstyles come home the kids miss u 😭😭
harrystyles i didn’t approve of this being posted btw
⤷ ynstyles shush
user2 are they writing a song together 😧😧😧 about y/n 😧😧😧😧
crawl gone wrong was sooo cutie omg :((( u wrote it sooo cute !! and el and steve stop im gonna cry they were sooo adorable together !!! and PLS i wanna live on a farm with steve wth 😵💫😵💫😵💫
ILYILYILY
but yeah living on a farm with steve is literally the only thing i’ve ever wanted to do like ever
“seriously, em, it’s like i’ve got bigfoot in between my legs.” you complained to your friend over the phone. “it wasn’t like this was dalton. my stomach’s way too big to get all up in there, and there’s no way i’m not getting rid of it before i give birth.”
“why don’t you ask gemma?” she hummed. “she’d get it.”
“anniversary.” you grumbled. “italy.”
“ooh nice.”
“not nice!” you said louder than necessary. “i can’t even get on a two hour plane because they’ll think i’ll pop mid air. and now i don’t think they’ll let me on because they’ll think i’m harboring a bear in between my legs.”
emily cackled. “why don’t you ask joe? he wouldn’t mind.”
“ask me what?”
you jumped. “how do you walk so… silently?”
he shrugged, popping dalton’s left over strawberries in his mouth. he waved to the screen. “hi emily.”
she waved back. “hi joe.”
“what were you two talking about?”
your mouth opened and closed. you turned to look at your screen for some help from emily only to find out she had hung up.
traitor.
“i’ve… i’ve grown a bush.” you said quietly.
“mm, i know.” he nodded. “i love it.”
your face turned red. “joe!”
“what! i’m being honest!”
you attempted to cross your arms over your chest, but failed given the planet that is your stomach.
“so what? you two were just talking about your bush?”
“i need it gone.”
his jaw dropped. “you’re getting rid of it?”
“well don’t seem so disappointed!”
“i am!”
you pushed his arm playfully. “it needs to go. can you help? can’t reach.”
“can i help? baby, i’m the designated barber back home. i cut my friends hair for a living.”
you scrunched your nose up and tilted your head. “that can’t be right.”
“let’s go give you a trim.” he stood up abruptly, offering you his hand.
“bald, joe. i want to be glistening. not a single hair left behind. you’ve got to get in between everything. okay?”
he placed his hand on your lower back, guiding you. “i’ll part you like the red sea, baby, don’t worry.”
you turned to look at him only to find him being oh so serious. you burst out in laughter, leaning on him for support.
“how did you even think of that!”
“i’m a natural.” he shrugged, a grin tugging on his lips.
“remind me to tell em later, oh god, joe.” you wiped your wet eyelashes with the back of your index finger. you sighed, recomposing yourself. you put a hand on your stomach and waddled to the bathroom.
“part me like the red sea.” you muttered to yourself, shaking your head ever so slightly. “genius.”
that day, joe walked around with his chest puffed up in pride; he made a woman too pregnant to find anything amusing cry from laughter.
you have nooooo idea how many times i went back to reread your old fics ughhhhh they were just toooooo good !!!! ive been counting down the days til you comeback im sososososoooo happy to hear from u mll
angst angst angst! reader gets injured pretty bad in the upside down on a crawl maybe, blacks out or something dramatic, boyfriend!steve is beside himself with worry. hes pictured their whole lives together, he cant lose her, he cant, he cant. eventually they get to safety, happy ending? thanks love!
જ⁀➴ crawl gone wrong
steve harrington x reader
holy shit i hate this so much 😭😭😭 but idk how much longer i can hold back on you guys 💔 hopefully i get back into writing ASAPPPP
steve felt his heart stop when he saw you go limp in his arms.
the crawl wasn’t supposed to end this way—with you bleeding out in his arms. you were supposed to go in and out unscathed like the dozens of times before.
a demogorgon wasn’t supposed to jump out of nowhere and practically shred your abdomen.
steve wasn’t supposed to see any blood bubbling out of your body. he wasn’t supposed to hear your breathing come to a stop. he wasn’t supposed to feel your heartbeat wither.
none of this was supposed to happen.
you two were supposed to flee hawkins the second the lockdown was over. you two were supposed to travel the world and have kids. you were supposed to settle down in a small town near the countryside and have a huge farm. acres and acres of land.
steve could imagine a life without the farm and the kids, but a life without you? that’s no life worth living.
he pressed his index and middle finger to your neck, right above your pulse. weak, but present.
he let out a relieved breath. “come on, sweetheart. can’t leave me yet.”
he shrugged off his jacket and wrapped it around your torso before picking you back up.
he cut the crawl short and made his way back to the right side up. his every step carried a heavy weight. your life was in his hands, and if he lost it simply because he wasn’t fast enough—
“no.” he shook his head. “stay with me, baby, we’re almost there.”
he pressed his fingers to your pulse once more and it was… stronger? he wasn’t sure if it was his mind playing tricks on him or if there was some sort of miracle, but he really was not complaining. in fact, it only drove him more determined to get back the squawk.
you were not to die in the upside down.
the second he stepped foot into the familiar building and his found family gaped at the damage that had been done to you, his lip trembled and he stood frozen in place.
he became hyperaware of your blood leaking through his jacket, leaving red splotches across the blue denim. he became hyperaware of the dullness that overtook your skin, and the color fading from your lips.
hopper—sprained ankle and all—took three long strides and took you out of steve’s arms.
steve still remained frozen in place, his hands and shirt drenched in your blood. his hands were still outstretched. he looked down and saw how red they were and his stomach turned.
robin placed a hand on his shoulder and guided him to the bathroom. she turned on the sink and pumped soap into his hands.
he turned to look at her, eyes wide and teary. “if she dies—”
she cut him off. “don’t say that.”
“i’m not gonna be able to do it.” he shook his head. “i can’t do this without her. robin, she’s everything—”
“i know. i know that. hop’s got her.” her throat bobbed. “she’s gonna be fine.”
“if i was paying more attention—”
“you can’t do this to yourself, steve.” she said firmly, tugging off the hoodie she was wearing.
she placed her hands on the hem of his shirt. “up.”
she didn’t make any comments or scrunch her face up in disgust at his chest hair—she wasn’t even thinking about that this time around. she tossed the bloodied shirt in the trash and tugged her hoodie over his head.
good thing she was wearing one of her oversized hoodies.
“listen to me.” she grabbed his jaw and forced him to look at her. “you’re gonna go out there and sit next to her. you’re gonna be there when she wakes up, okay? you’re gonna be the first face she sees.”
he nodded wordlessly, eyes still oh so wide.
“and i’m gonna be next to you the entire time.” she added. “come on.”
he found you laying on the couch while hopper tended to your wounds.
his throat bobbed. robin gave him a slight push and his feet took him to stand in front of you.
“sit, don’t hover.” hopper gruffed.
steve immediately brought himself to the floor, hand holding yours.
his eyes were flooded with a mix of worry and tears. he sniffled and hopper sent him a brief glance. “she’ll be fine, kid.”
“really?” he wiped his eye with the back of his hand.
hopper glanced and steve and his own throat bobbed. this wasn’t the former jock he got noise complaints about at least once a week—no, this was a much more vulnerable version. a version of him he last saw when steve was only a kid and frequently called the police station in fear of a break in when his parents were away.
hoppers eyes softened for half a second. “yeah.”
you didn’t wake up after hopper bandaged you up, nor soon after that.
it seemed as though a permanent frown has made its way onto steve’s face. all he could do was give your hand a squeeze every now and then and exhale shakily.
whenever anyone tries to check in on him he simply wouldn’t respond—or, he wouldn’t even hear them to begin with.
he was only snapped out of his trance when eleven placed her hand on his shoulder.
his head snapped to the right, and, upon seeing her, his face softened.
she gave him a soft smile. “hi.”
he turned back to face you, his thumb going over your knuckles in the way you like. “hey.”
“she will be okay.” el said firmly.
“i—how do you know that?” he sighed. “i thought she was a goner, el, you didn’t see her down there—”
“i did.” she cut him off. “i saw it.”
“you-you did?” steve blinked.
eleven nodded and steve’s eyes welled up again for the millionth time. “you saw how bad it was. i mean, her heart gave out on me, el.” he ran a frustrated hand through his face. “fucks sake, i can’t stop feeling how weak her heartbeat was i can’t-i don’t know what i’d do if it happened again, and i mean she lost a lot of blood—”
“i will bring her heartbeat back again.” eleven reassured. “i can’t see her die too.”
steve’s eyes widened and his lips slightly parted. “you did that?”
steve, with his hands and jeans stained with your blood, with his face covered in all sorts of upside down grime, pulled eleven in for the tightest hug she’s ever received. “thank you.”
“i love her too, steve.” she murmured against his ear. only then did he hear the wobble in her voice, and he immediately felt so foolish for not checking up on her sooner. she viewed you as the older sister she never had and seeing you almost die for something she practically brought to life—
“she’s going to wake up soon, i feel it.”
you did not wake up soon. hopper took el back home before you could wake up.
steve fell asleep sitting on the floor, hand holding yours, and his head on your thigh.
when you stirred, he awoke. he brushed your hair back until your eyes peeled open. you let out a pained gasp and his hand dropped to cup your face.
when you spoke, your voice was scratchy and weak. “steve?”
“hey,” he smiled softly. “damn thing got you good, huh?”
“i’m-i’m okay?” you questioned.
he nodded. “hop patched you up.”
“steve, i thought…” you trailed off, shaking your head.
he wiped away a tear you hadn’t known had fell with the pad of his thumb. “doesn’t matter what we thought. you’re here now.”
he watched as a frown made its way onto your face. he couldn’t help but smile. he knew what kind of frown that was. it was your angry frown. the one you got before you cursed someone’s bloodline. “i’m not going down to that shithole again, steve, i swear.”
“no you won’t.” even though it was said through a chuckle, you knew he was being dead serious. “can’t do this bullshit without you.”
you gave him a weak grin. “what—the crawls? i’m sure hop isn’t a bad—”
“life.” he corrected.
“lucky for you i’m not going anywhere.”
and suddenly, the farm with the six kids came back into view. he saw the aching backs and the cracky knees and the gray hairs. he saw it all, and he wasn’t going to let it slip through his fingers ever again.
could u request perhaps a steve x reader fic (hurt comfort) where reader and steve get into an argument prior to a crawl and hes being a little stubborn and avoiding reader but finds out from walkie or another person that shes badly hurt and won’t wake up?
happy ending please 🙏🙏 i know this doesnt fit the timeline of your henderson! reader but i don’t mind it being a standalone one shot :)
Just to keep you satisfied
Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader
⟡ Main Index | ⟡ Archive for Earth-0424
a/n: Suggestions are open for anything, not just Henderson!reader! The fact that my only two ST fics happen to feature that is purely a coincidence, so no worries!
Classification and content warnings: Angst and fluff | Avoidant attachment tendencies, injury, emotional distress related to relationships
Word count: 3,3k
Divider by me ;)
You lived in absolutes, in extremities sharpened by probabilities where every outcome measured against loss, grief and love.
Love most of all.
You had never been optimistic about it. The second something became important enough to lose, your mind immediately began preparing for the damage, so when you and Steve happened, when whatever existed between you stopped being casual and started surviving things that should have destroyed it, your thoughts turned vicious toward yourself.
You questioned every moment of it, every stretch of peace, explaining it away with the town, with trauma and proximity, with the fact that Hawkins had a way of welding people together under pressure until they could not tell the difference between dependence and devotion.
You told yourself it was because you had never seen love done right. Every example you had ever known seemed to rot eventually, becoming bitter, painful or cruel once it settled long enough to harden into permanence. From where you stood, love ruined people, it hollowed them out and left them recognizable only in pieces. You had built your entire life around avoiding that fate, around never needing anyone enough for them to destroy you if they left.
Hyper independence had become religion to you and Steve fought against that without even trying.
The longer your relationship lasted, the more unbearable that realization became since it survived everything thrown at it. Near death, bloodshed, monsters, fear and nights where either of you could have disappeared into the dark and never come back. It stayed standing anyway, stubborn, warm and terrifyingly steady but as long as it stayed exactly what it was, you could breathe through it. As long as nobody touched it, labeled it or pushed it toward something bigger, you could pretend you were still in control but the second the water shifted beneath the boat, the second the future became something tangible instead of implied, bile climbed your throat because the Upside Down had been constant too.
You had spent the entire afternoon preparing for the crawl. Weapons spread across tables, maps pinned down under impatient hands, everyone talking over each other inside the Squawk while tension sat thick in the room like smoke. This time you were going with Hopper. Nobody argued with the choice because every crawl into the Upside Down made the odds worse, every mission sharpening that ugly, unavoidable thought sitting in the back of everybody’s mind.
What if this was the one somebody did not come back from?
By the time the sun began sinking low enough to stain the fields gold and copper, you and Steve slipped outside together, escaping the suffocating planning and worried glances for a little while. The air smelled like dirt and drying grass, warm from the heat of the day but cooling quickly as evening settled over Hawkins.
You watched Steve walk a few steps ahead of you through the field before jogging lightly to catch up. “You think this is it?” you asked.
He glanced over at you, slowing his pace. “That you find Vecna tonight?”
You nodded once.
“The sooner we do,” he said carefully, “the sooner everything goes back to normal.” A grin tugged faintly at his mouth then, teasing something softer into his voice. “We’ll go back to our boring lives…You might actually have to get serious about getting a job.”
You let out a quiet laugh through your nose. “Don’t even know what I’d do with all that safety and time.” Your eyes drifted across the endless stretch of fields around you, the sunset catching along the horizon in bruised shades of orange and pink. “I barely remember what Hawkins was like before all this. Might actually get really boring.”
“We don’t have to stay here,” he said.
There was something careful hidden underneath the words, something almost restrained.
You looked at him sideways. “So what? We escape in one of those shitty getaway cars with the cans dragging behind it and a ‘just married’ sign taped to the back?”
Your tone stayed light, joking but Steve’s expression changed in a way that made your stomach immediately tighten.
He looked at you too long and then he sighed, so quiet you almost missed it but there was relief in it somehow, relief at finally standing near the thing he had clearly been carrying around for a long time.
The look on his face hit you like cold water. He looked hopeful…hopelessly in love.
Your body reacted before your thoughts did. You took a step back instinctively as Steve shook his head gently, almost like he thought moving too fast would scare you off.
“No,” you breathed, pulse beginning to pound hard enough to make your chest ache. Your stomach dropped violently as his stare remained unchanged. “N-no,” you repeated, softer this time, shaking your head.
“You can’t deny something that’s already yours.”
The words landed hard, making your throat tighten. You backed away again while he moved forward slowly, carefully, like approaching something wounded.
You pointed toward the ground between you both as if he had physically contaminated the space with it, with futures, promises and permanence, with things that never lasted for anybody around you no matter how badly they wanted them to.
“You picked a fucked up moment, Steven.”
“We need to make sense of this before you go down there,” he insisted, voice roughening around the edges. God, he was practically begging now. “We’ve had three good years,” he said as he stepped closer again, eyes fixed on yours as if he could hold you there through sheer will alone. “And it’s time we call it what it is.”
You kept shaking your head before you even realized you were doing it, the word ‘no’ falling from your mouth over and over while your feet kept carrying you backward through the field.
“I love you and I have for a long time and you need to hear it.” His voice trembled through the confession even while every word stayed painfully clear, intention unwavering despite the fear cracking underneath it. “I’ve tried to show you and you wouldn’t let me, which is fine, but before you go, before whatever happens down there is out of our hands, I need you to give me an answer because I just can’t…” He stopped for a second, swallowing hard enough for you to see it in his throat. “I can’t keep going like this.”
“Steve, please don’t,” you begged quietly.
But he kept going anyway, because this had clearly been clawing at him for too long to stop now.
“I learned what you couldn’t take and I stopped doing it.” His eyes stayed fixed on yours desperately, trying to hold you still long enough to finally understand him. “And I’m happy I did. It’s fine. And I waited, and I never complained because I...” He broke off suddenly, his expression twisting as his eyes glossed over. “You know, I figured you’d love me.”
The words hit you harder than anything else had.
You kept shaking your head softly, almost unconsciously, hoping he would see the panic written all over your face and stop before either of you said something irreversible.
Instead his voice got louder, never yelling but definitely fuller now, wounded and spilling out too fast to pull back. He looked away from you for the first time, gaze drifting across the field as if he could not bear watching your reaction anymore. It was obvious he was making this part up as he went along, fumbling through raw honesty without a plan, just like the two of you had stumbled through the relationship itself.
“And I realize maybe I messed up somewhere,” he said roughly. “Maybe I fucked the timing completely. Maybe I’m not this changed man everybody keeps saying I am...”
“No,” you cut in, stepping toward him to make him finally look back at you. “Yes, you are.”
Your voice cracked with urgency because none of this changed the fact that he deserved it. He deserved someone capable of holding what he offered without trembling underneath the weight of it.
“You’ve grown into an amazing man,” you said, forcing the words through the tightness in your throat. “Too good for me, and I’m grateful for all of these years and I’m so proud of you.” Emotion climbed too fast into your chest, choking the next sentence apart as soon as it left your mouth. “But I just...” You inhaled shakily. “This isn’t something I know how to keep. I don’t know why.” You shook your head harder, frustrated tears beginning to blur your vision.
“You can’t?” he echoed quietly, brows pulling together.
“No,” you breathed. Then you blinked quickly and kept talking before he could interrupt again, before you lost the nerve to keep hurting him.
“You should be with someone who can actually handle normal life when this is over. Someone who doesn’t flinch every time they’re shown affection and actually knows what to do with it.” Your voice shook despite how hard you tried to steady it. “I’m awkward, and I don’t even understand why we didn’t go wrong already when I’ve been proven over and over again that I ruin things. And I won’t drag you with me past this.” You motioned vaguely around you, toward Hawkins, toward the disaster your lives had become and the rot underneath everything.
“I love you, Y/n,” Steve said in the middle of your spiraling but hearing it again only made your panic sharpen.
“And we’d constantly fight over stupid shit like how I drive your car,” you continued breathlessly, motioning toward the distant shape of it sitting near the road. “We can’t help it even now.” You laughed once, hollow and humorless before your face crumpled again. “You’d end up hating how skeptical I am about everything, and I’d spend every day questioning what you could possibly see in me, and we’d become miserable, Steve. We’d wish we left it trapped here, down there with the demogorgons and all the rest of it, and everything would turn catastrophic.”
The silence afterward stretched painfully long. Only then did you realize Steve was no longer looking at you.
His eyes had dropped toward the ground, jaw tight like he was blaming the dirt beneath his feet, blaming the existence of the Upside Down itself for carving this fear into you so deeply that even love sounded like catastrophe.
“Anything else?” he asked finally. His voice was so quiet you barely heard him.
You bit the inside of your cheek until it hurt before shaking your head. “No. No, nothing else.”
“Alright.” He nodded once, firm and restrained, then turned back toward the Squawk.
The movement made your stomach plunge so violently it almost hurt. You reached for him instinctively. “Except that...”
Steve stopped and turned back toward you again, giving you a small nod to continue.
You froze for a second.
“Steve,” you started weakly, “I don’t think I’ll ever understand how to hold what you tried to give me. This...” You gestured helplessly between you both. “This is safer. Messing it up fatally won’t ruin me this way.”
“I think you’re wrong about that, Y/n,” he replied immediately, voice firm again despite how wrecked he looked.
“I don’t...”
“I think you will find a way,” he interrupted softly. “You’ll find somebody worth risking your heart for, and you’ll love them, and you’ll live and die for them because that’s your way.” His expression tightened painfully as he forced out the rest. “And you will.” He paused. “And I’ll watch.”
You stood there and watched Steve walk away from you while your own feet stayed rooted to the ground. Every instinct in your body screamed to stop him but wanting that and knowing how were two entirely different things and somewhere in the middle of your fear and selfishness you realized you had run out of words to justify yourself with. The reasoning that had always protected you suddenly sounded thin and desperate in your own head.
Still, you let him go.
You kept your eyes lowered when you walked back inside the Squawk, forcing yourself into focus as everybody geared up around you. You concentrated on the plan, on weapons, on timing and routes. You promised Hopper you were fine, focused and ready to go, which were the same lies that had carried you straight toward your own ruin.
You were reckless during the crawl, in small terrible ways that added up fast.
You made decisions that sent adrenaline crashing through your body every few minutes just so you could feel something other than the hollow ache Steve had left behind. It all blurred together quickly after that, dark tunnels of vines, spores and rotting air while demogorgons chased close enough behind you to hear their shrieks echoing against the trees.
You had done this a thousand times before and that was probably the problem.
Your weapon slipped from your grasp while you were running and instead of leaving it behind, instead of following Hopper toward safety like you were supposed to, you slowed down.
You turned back and tried to outsmart it, tried to buy Hopper more time to get ahead…and failed.
The hit came hard and fast, the force of it throwing you violently backward into the trunk of a tree. Pain exploded through your skull the second your head cracked against the bark. Through blurred, tear-filled vision you barely managed to see Hopper firing wildly, injuring the creature enough to force it retreating into the dark.
After that, consciousness came and went in fragments. You felt hands dragging you, voices yelling your name, blood running warm down the side of your face and the suffocating smell of the Upside Down clinging to your lungs.
When you finally forced your eyes open again, you were inside a house you did not recognize, laid out in some dim ruined room overtaken by thick crawling vines spreading across the walls and ceiling.
Hopper’s voice echoed loudly through the haze wrapped around your head as consciousness slowly dragged itself back into place. Your vision swam in and out of focus while you blinked at the ceiling above you, vines twisting across it like veins and watched him pace hurriedly through the room with a walkie talkie clutched tightly in his hand.
He had called in the accident the second you were dragged back to safety.
Steve, reckless in the exact way Steve always was when it came to you, had not hesitated for even a second after hearing Hopper’s voice break over the radio. He had driven straight through the newly opened gate with Nancy, Jonathan and Dustin, tracking a wounded demogorgon deeper into the Upside Down in hopes it would lead them to you. The more Hopper explained what happened, the harder Steve pressed down on the gas pedal, panic swallowing every other thought in his head until even your rejection disappeared beneath the need to reach you.
Now all of them were somewhere out there searching blindly while communication crackled in and out around the interference poisoning the air.
“Steve?” you called weakly, your voice scraping painfully against your throat as you tried pushing yourself upright. The second you moved, agony split through your skull.
Hopper immediately dropped the walkie onto the nearby table and rushed toward you.
“Hey, kiddo, hey.” His hands carefully steadied your shoulders before you could sit fully upright. “Lay back down. You hit your head pretty bad.”
Your fingers instinctively rose toward the throbbing ache near your temple. When you pulled your hand back down, blood stained your fingertips dark.
“It stopped bleeding,” Hopper assured quickly when your breathing shifted unevenly. “But you need to stay down. Help’s coming.”
He guided you gently back against the mattress and this time you let him. Your entire body felt weak and heavy, exhaustion pressing into your bones while pain pulsed behind your eyes.
“I messed up,” you rasped.
Hopper shook his head immediately, even though both of you knew you had. You had broken formation, abandoned the plan and nearly gotten yourself killed. Still, his expression softened instead of hardening.
“We don’t gotta talk about it right now.”
“With Steve,” you corrected shakily, tears burning at the corners of your eyes. “I was too quick turning him down.”
Hopper blinked slowly before exhaling through his nose and lowering himself into the chair beside the bed.
Truthfully, he had guessed as much the second you and Steve walked back into the Squawk earlier that evening. The both of you had looked devastated in entirely different ways and Hopper knew heartbreak well enough to recognize it immediately. He understood now why Steve had seemed ready to tear the world apart before driving into the Upside Down after hearing your name over the radio. Hopper had spent years watching the two of you orbit each other helplessly, stuck in that miserable gray area between fear and devotion, too close to walk away but too terrified to call it what it was.
“Do you love him?” Hopper asked quietly.
You blinked toward the ceiling for a second before answering.
“If he asked me again,” you whispered, swallowing around the knot tightening painfully in your throat, “I think I’d say ‘yes’.” Your eyes finally moved toward Hopper’s. “Do you think he’ll ask me again?”
“But do you love him?” he repeated, firmer this time.
The question settled heavily in your chest. You gave a small nod against the pillow despite the way it made your head pulse violently. Tears slipped freely down your face now, warm against your skin.
“I just don’t want him seeing parts of me he can’t fix,” you admitted brokenly.
Hopper’s expression changed, something deeply understanding moving through his eyes.
Before he could answer, noise erupted from downstairs followed by multiple footsteps and raised voices. Then Steve’s voice cut through everything else as he called your name with enough panic behind it to make your entire body tense.
Hopper watched you react, watched the way your expression changed before you could stop it.
“Upstairs!” Hopper shouted back before slowly standing from the chair. His eyes stayed on you as Steve’s footsteps thundered through the house. “Steve’s a big boy…let him decide that for himself,” Hopper said softly.
Steve appeared in the doorway. His chest heaved violently from exertion, hair damp with sweat and sticking messily to his forehead while his wide frantic eyes landed on you almost painfully fast. Relief and terror crashed across his face so openly it made your chest ache.
He crossed the room. “Oh, my sweet girl,” he breathed.
Steve dropped beside the bed, one hand carefully cradling the side of your head while the other moved shakily over your arms and shoulders like he needed physical proof you were still there. His eyes scanned every visible injury at once, muttering frantically under his breath about getting you out, getting you to a hospital and figuring something out.
“What if you don’t like what you see?” you interrupted weakly, your trembling voice finally pulling his attention fully back to your face.
Steve’s eyes lifted to yours instantly and somehow, in that moment, it felt like he already understood every single thing you meant, like he had seen all the ugly parts already and stayed anyway.
His hand slid slowly to your cheek, thumb brushing carefully over your trembling lower lip while his breathing gradually steadied, his heartbeat finding an entirely different rhythm now that he knew you were alive.
“How deep am I allowed to look?” he asked quietly.
A sob broke from your chest. “As deep as it goes.”
Something in Steve’s expression softened completely before he leaned down carefully and kissed you, deep and warm and maybe a little desperate in a way that felt like breathing after nearly drowning, oxygen finally forcing its way back into your lungs to keep you alive through the pain, the fear and through every doubt that had ever convinced you love would ruin you before it could save you.
a/n: If you enjoyed this, consider saving the archive. More stories are coming, and requests are always welcome! Likes, reblogs and comments help others find my work and mean more to me than you know. Thank you so much for reading 💛
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