[heavnbound]

struggling to separate the human condition into finer and finer categories for the purposes of accurately tagging poetry excerpts

(long under the cut)

absence - emptiness, "one runs away to find oneself, and finds no one at home."

animal imagery 

bright - "and an intense love rushes to your heart, and hope. it’s unendurable, unendurable."

change (or lack thereof) - "what I want is what I've always wanted. what I want is to be changed."

cruelty 

curse - inevitability, prophecy, story

cycles - "something happened to me [...] so it will happen to you." / "what they did to you, you did not do to me."

death (and grief)

divorce - "the spell is removed; I see you as you are."

the everyday - mundanity that saves you, mundanity that wears you down

family

gender - "there are places like this everywhere, places you enter as a young girl, from which you never return."

glowing darkness - "many people are perfectly happy for this unredeemed, self-destructive couple to be in their own black hole of self-hate. it's sort of this darkness that eventually glows with its own power." 

hunger - "desire is a moment with no way out."

language - the imprecise nature of language 

loneliness

longing - "I miss you more than I remember you."

looking back - orpheus and eurydice, lot's wife

love

memory

performance - "no one is watching, so why does it have to be beautiful?"

religion 

shame - "You are embarrassed to be alive.”

suffering - "the pain that is thrust upon us let no man slow or speed or fix."

wound - "where can I put it down?"

wrong - "things have gone amiss."

yourself - "you will save yourself, you can’t help it." / "you have betrayed and destroyed yourself for nothing"

[smallrituals]

Andi Veskioja

[bbblaughrefs]

[ives57]

[mothermishy]

Hair by weiwesleywei on instagram part two.

[the-big-mood]

[the-night-picture-collector]

Yoshinori Mitzutani, Birds

[gatheringbones]

ellen bass and laura davis, the courage to heal, harper collins, 1988

[heavnbound]

anyway this is the thing i read to start my singing practice...

Heavy Lifting! The Muscles that Control the Vocal Cords — Caveness Voice

If you were to do a quick Google search about singing, you'd likely see a lot of information of varying degrees of clarity/accuracy talking

[heavnbound]

when i was in school i remember i always hated assignments which completely lacked guidelines bc i knew there was a Right Way To Do It -- obviously, in school everything is graded -- and that what the instructor was trying to accomplish was having students express themselves and not just copy an example. but i was always so frustrated; yes, you want me to share my ideas, but HOW ?

[heavnbound]

anyway. taking this approach to learning skills as an adult has been really helpful. in dance class i asked my instructor if she could specify what part of my body is actually engaged during a move and what parts are for stability; in drawing i've started doing focused practice of form and lines while aware of my eyes and my hand; in singing i know the mechanics of the vocal cords and what sound is produced how. to exist in reality requires form... to be formless is to mix with everything else.

[heavnbound]

when i was in school i remember i always hated assignments which completely lacked guidelines bc i knew there was a Right Way To Do It -- obviously, in school everything is graded -- and that what the instructor was trying to accomplish was having students express themselves and not just copy an example. but i was always so frustrated; yes, you want me to share my ideas, but HOW ?

[heavnbound]

it's interesting how fundamental my disconnect with my body was . when i was in school i was so terrified of learning about the heart that i would disassociate in science class. i just could not bear to pay attention to it

[heavnbound]

learning how to sing. as in. i am singing and it sounds awful and im figuring out how to make it Not do that

[propertiesofjoy]

james baldwin, another country

[fiere-violet]

The ‘Dance of the Wilis’ Giselle by Ran Chilipye

[ceruleanheaven]

im sure if i move far away from home to somewhere no one knows me my whole personality will suddenly change and everyone will love me and everything will be better im sure im sure im sure

[redlipstickresurrected]

Xuan Loc Xuan aka Loc Xuan Nguyen (Vietnamese, b. Dong Nai Province, Vietnam, based Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam) - Starry Night, 2022, Paintings: Digital Art