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mykindafairytalee-blog

eye-of-orion

I had the lightning rod realization why The Discourse about fiction feels so alien to me

It’s because 99% of the arguments boil down to denying an individual’s agency

Fiction is one of the safest ways to exercise your right to choose - especially fanfic, which comes with an entire culture of tagging and content warning etiquette

If you go seeking fanfic on AO3, you can try new things with a fairly good understanding of what you’re getting yourself into

And if you get in over your head - you can close the window and walk away with no regrets

No real people were hurt in the production of words on a page - you aren’t sitting there thinking “gosh, I hope those people in this YouTube video survived that fall”

Fiction gives you the right to try on all kinds of ideas

Which is why I get so indignant when I see stuff like “XYZ content could be bad for some people, therefore it shouldn’t exist”

Or “what if minors clicked on porn for ABC fandom uwu”

The truth is, you have agency

My god, but you have agency

If you are old enough to be poking around these sites without parental supervision, you are old enough to start reading the warning labels on what you consume

And if that isn’t true for you? Then ask someone in your real life for help

(I have some pals who do ask me to screen fics for things that might trigger them)

But seriously, with fiction, you can choose what to access, and learn (in private) what you can handle

Don’t let anyone take your power

arashi-of-ota

antis straight up don’t believe that people have agency. or at least, not agency enough to cancel out the other things that they believe have power over us.

they’re rooted in the same politics that gave us terfs/swerfs, aka radical feminism, which believes among other things that women can’t make free choices under patriarchy - like the choice to do sex work or engage in kink or any number of other things. the reasons women give for doing these things aren’t real reasons, the only reason they do them is because patriarchy has manipulated and brainwashed them into thinking these are acceptable things to do. it’s a “feminism” founded on the idea that most women (except the radfems themselves, of course) are not real agents.

hence the transphobia - because being a woman isn’t about how you feel, only about whether you were assigned in childhood to a particular sex-based second class

hence the biphobia - because bi is a “lesser” kind of gay, because it taints the true equality of gay relationships with imbalanced man/woman ones, which are always inherently coercive towards the woman because the man has all the power

hence the hate of kink, of stories with cruel or abusive themes, because if you like that sort of thing you can’t be trusted to know your own mind. at best you’re participating in your own oppression, mindlessly acting out the desires of a bunch of old white men circlejerking it to your humiliation. at worst, you’re a traitor who’s enabling and encouraging our pedophilic anti-woman overlords, the creators of all cruelty, without which we’d live in a lesbian separatist paradise with no war or suffering.

it can never be just because you find something valuable in reading about weird shit - the only people who could do that without gagging are oppresor menz or brainwashed women. (nb people don’t really fit in here, so they’re ignored.) try on ideas? but some of those ideas are Dangerous, Corrupting, Objectively Sick, and it’s our job to keep you away from them. there are some thoughts that are too awful to ever be admitted into your head, even for a moment, because they’ll change you.

i mean, this sounds like a stretch, but the more i read the more i see it all fit together. it might not be what people consciously believe, but it’s what created this radical exclusionary politics.

roachpatrol

ironically, women believing that their only power is to control other women both arises from and perpetuates a toxic patriarchy.

wrangletangle

We’re here, we’re queer, and that means engaging thoughtfully and maturely with the complicated intersections of personal desire, public narrative, and situational and individual circumstances, with an eye to respecting that not everybody has lived the same life or is walking the same path.

Just as I disagreed with queer radicals who publicly outed celebrities in the 90s out of a misguided belief that public figures owed other queer people their token banner status, so too do I now reject the simplistic and infantilizing notion that exploring ideas in fiction must be guided by a rigid moral compass that equates thinking about a deed with doing it. That’s shame culture talking. That’s literally what we as queer people are supposed to be fighting against, because shame culture kills us. It also presumes that primarily female and nonbinary communities engaged in discussions of consent via fiction will return results as simplistic and patronizingly wrong as porn industries run by and for cis heterosexual men. That’s not what’s happening, and I don’t know why anyone would think it would? We have such different experiences from the people running most of the porn companies. Frankly, it’s demeaning and reductionist to compare the two.

Tag. Your. Works. And then accept the personal consequences if you open a properly warned work and turn out not to like it.

(That said, I wonder if some of the people reacting this way don’t suffer from intrusive thoughts and related anxiety, causing them to think that everyone cannot redirect their own thoughts or forget disturbing things they’ve read? That could account for some of the apocalyptic rhetoric. There could also be people who were raised using shame-based methods who haven’t done enough introspection or therapy to recognize what their subconscious is doing. I offer these possibilities not to excuse abusive behavior but to provide a possible window into ways we as fans could be more aware of the potential sources of abusive purity culture and of methods to grapple with it effectively as a community.)

terrie01

I have pretty bad anxiety and intrusive thoughts. Purity culture is ableist as fuck and anyone with intrusive thoughts who thinks other people need protecting because they might have the same issues has a problem with being extremely self-centered (not selfISH, but a complete failure to realize other people have different life experiences). You don’t fix people’s mental illness by controlling them. Hell, you don’t “fix” them period.You give them tools so they can define and achieve their own success.

Fandom? Is amazing for giving us those tools.

Look, I’m not going to deny that, if you have mental illness, there are stories out there that will fuck up your head. I have a couple that, literally over a decade later, I have to be careful not to have more than second hand exposure to. Those two stories? Jaw and Silence of the Lambs.

Yep, I can’t handle two films that are highly acclaimed. Like, award-winningly acclaimed. Perhaps the purists should call up Spielberg and Anthony Hopkins and tell them what terrible people they are. After all, these films caused me obvious, measurable damage. The intrusive thoughts came pretty fast and fierce after both of them, to the point where I went almost 48 hours without sleeping. People being eaten was a super-duper trigger of intrusive thoughts for me when I was younger, and even though new material doesn’t get to me in the same way, I don’t shake old associations well.

We’ll need to shut down Hannibal fandom. Bunch of cannibalism-normalizing freaks, right?

OR, I could do what I did. I blacklisted the fandom on tumblr. I avoid stories written in that fandom. I recognize that it’s something I can’t deal with and stay away from it. Much like I recognize that I can’t handle caffeine. (Perhaps the purists will be recommending that Starbucks shuts down?) And that’s okay!I can’t control my illness, but I can control my own choices and I can use the tools fandom gives me. Which is hella more useful than being treated like an infant who doesn’t know not to stick a fork in the outlet.

I’m still annoyed that Jaws is rated PG, though.

little-wolf-white-peacock

I am schizo. I consequently have intrusive thoughts and the other symptoms you might imagine, such as feeling as if others can read my thoughts, that there are many faced persecution monsters watching me at all times, etc etc. It is a misery that I probably couldn’t put to words. And? It makes me all the more ready to DEFEND the notion that whatever I do in my own head belongs to me and me alone. I resent people trying to invade my being the way a lot of folks against certain things in fiction do. It’s ableist, triggering, and awful for me. It aligns with my worst times and underscores the fear that at any time my brain can be hijacked.

Also, I have several years of study and a handful of degrees as well, about criminal behavior and some of the darkest things we as humans do to one another. Do you know the one thing pretty much everyone –in very contentious fields, mind – agrees on? Fiction (and porn, for that matter) is never the cause for that darkness. It may be correlated, but it is not the cause, no matter how many shitty manipulative interviews human shitstain Ted Bundy may give to complicit minsters.

Of course words and writing have power, and in certain ways it does behoove us to think about how we are wielding that power (e.g. racist stereotypes posing as characters). But, fiction can’t cause you to faithfully copy what you read. Yes, porn and kink can be exploitative and abusive. But it is not an inherent ingredient in either thing. Also, just because some folks need to be careful about their porn consumption for a variety of reasons, does not mean porn as a whole (heh) can never be made in a sex and people positive manner.

Another example, since pedophilia is often used by antis; I have never once in my entire life had a sexual thought about a child (though I often agonized about whether there was a monster inside of me that might awake one day because of how people use the vampire theory). Never. And even if you forced me to read and/or watch that content 24 hours a day, it could never somehow turn me in to a child molester. The essential ingredients aren’t there. You can’t make a fancy layer cake out of just flour and water, and no amount of stirring, praying, or shouting will turn that sad little mix in to dessert.

xdualipa

Dead Man Tell No Tales

IS THAT A SHARK?

ghost-coven-deactivated20240127

if you watch any video today it needs to be this one

sleepy-bookworm

I LOVE THIS NEWSCAST AND IM NOT EVEN FROM AUSTRALIA.

frederick-the-great

#like that little cage is gonna help ya

lizardtitties

My favourite thing is when Australians are talking about their deadly wildlife

mmmajestic-deactivated20200204

DYING RN

uniquesora

~✨🐼 I gotta problem with authority!!!🐼✨~

bellygangstaboo

There are some people who really seem to think the only true “heroism” is picking up a gun to defend your imperialist state.

wanderiism-blog

sometimes i feel like i’m just like a boat upon a winding river, twisting towards an endless black sea, further, and further, drifting away from where i want to be, who i want to be

newyork

evilsupplyco

Drink more haunted coffee. Eat more spooky donuts.

the-life-of-bucky-barnes

On Instagram

sjuki

cloperella

I was thrilled to pieces when I saw this scene. Disney could have written Gideon off like some bully character who never really amounted to anything, or got what was coming to him like a lot of those characters do in their movies. Gideon made something of himself. He’s a pastry chef, something that’s not traditionally a job for men in media. And as soon as Judy speaks to him, he immediately apologizes to her. He doesn’t try to shrug it off as no big deal, or say that it was just boys being boys or whatever; he knows he hurt her, and he owns up to it. And Judy immediately forgives him.

Well done, Disney.

hedgethodge

Also the language that he used is not something that he would have most likely grown up hearing/using. Describing his failings as self-doubt that manifested into “unchecked rage and aggression” sounds SO MUCH like therapy speak. So he’s either gotten counseling to help him with some of his problems, or sought out literature to help himself. A++ disney :)

inactive1346597623595641352

This movie is a treasure.

mikedawwwson

That’s Not Who We Are

mikedawwwson

Was suprised to find out this strip had been nominated for an Ignatz award this morning. I was not expecting that, and I am beyond honored to have been considered. Thankyou to Matt Bors and The Nib for commisioning it from me, and thankyou to Eleri Harris my wonderful editor.

naryrising

Pros of being a Fandom Old: - never have to worry about my mom finding out about my porn fic - have seen it all before and give few if any fucks

Cons of being a Fandom Old: - forced to work at actual job instead of writing fic all day - have seen it all before and get regular “ugh not again” moments