Title? Do you mean Mr.?

Gay American Super Hero

[bittern]

physically, yes, i could fight a bird. but emotionally? imagine the toll

[anightmarefantasmic]

[chewymochi-deactivated20230210]

i never noticed how strong that penguins braid game is

[shumbus]

thats a raccoon

[yotoob]

We’ve bought a new house. And our new next door neighbours (two delightful gentlemen) will not stop being nice. 

- bought us a seagull proof refuse bag (yes, they are actual things)

- loaned us garden tools when we didn’t have any

- invited us around for Friday night drinks so we could meet the other people on the lane

- one of them brought me a bunch of sweetpea flowers that he’d picked from his garden

- and tomorrow he’s coming to cut our hedge for us with his electric hedge trimmer thing idk, and all I have to do is hold the ladder.

Basically, I am UNSETTLED and am now having to enter into an arms race of niceness and I am already so behind oh god.

Long story short - I just baked a lemon drizzle cake, and it looks great but I can’t even eat it because MR AND MR NICE MUST RECEIVE AN OFFERING.

[yotoob]

ABSOLUTE CRISIS I GAVE THEM THE LEMON DRIZZLE AND THEN THEY INVITED ME IN TO HAVE A SLICE AND A COFFEE WITH THEM AND GAVE ME A TOUR OF THEIR HOUSE AND LET ME HOLD THEIR PUPPY. AND THEN THEY CAME AROUND TO HELP ME BAG UP THE HEDGE CLIPPINGS. THESE MEN ARE NICENESS PROS AND I CANNOT WIN.

[yotoob]

HELP WE HAD AN HOUR LONG POWER CUT ON THE STREET AND IN THAT TIME THE OTHER MR NICE CAME AROUND WITH MATCHES AND CANDLES ‘JUST IN CASE YOU DIDN’T HAVE ANY’. IT WAS BARELY DARK.

BASTARDS - I’M GOING TO HAVE TO HOST A DINNER PARTY AREN’T I?

[fanaticalqueergeek]

The Gay Agenda, everyone. 

[duskenpath]

this is fucking i n c r e d i b l e

[arcaneetherofficial]

[drinkandthedevil]

OH MY GOD 

[xoxoxogossipgirlll]

Me: *does 1 out of the 10 things I’m supposed to do*

Me: wow I’m really on top of things, let me take a 10 hour break and treat myself

[bonham-in-the-sky-with-gilmour]

[puto1-blog]

do you ever think about the money you don’t have and you just

[thursday]

[4lexandrea]

So apparently the boy from the original Jurassic Park has a twitter. 

[a-dinosaur-a-day]

This is quality content that belongs on my blog.

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

Don’t get mad. Don’t get even. Do better. Much better. Rise above. Become so engulfed in your own success that you forget it ever happened.

Unknown (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

[obviousplant]

Please don’t come back

[textsbetweengems]

Future vision saves lives

[spacebattles]

I wish more foods were named in the same vein as “I Can’t Believe Its Not Butter!”

[redfurniture]

You’ve Got To Be Pulling My Leg, THIS Is Ranch?!

[roachswallower]

Shut The Fuck Up, Are You Telling Me This Shit Is Ketchup??

[empathy3000]

I Firmly Believe This Is Not Mustard And I Am Horribly Wrong

[toolusingmammalgirl]

I Refused To Believe That This Condiment Was Barbecue Sauce, And I Have Been Summarily Flayed For My Apostasy

[sigmaleph]

I Assigned Negligible Probability To This Being Chili Sauce And Have Since Updated

[pluspluspangolin]

In Which Your Humble Narrator Assumed That The Substance Within This Container Was Not Worchestershire Sauce Only To Be Rudely Awakened From This Delusion By Mysterious Circumstances

[turnthomo-deactivated20170226]

remember that time they played football at a Beyoncé concert

[hefengming]

person: what do you want to be when you grow up?

me: worshipped

[grandestrology-deactivated20150]

I don’t wanna get involved in the drama I just wanna know 103% of the information on what happened

[leightum]