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punkconcert

John Mulaney, a true ADHD icon

somewhat-honest-abe

I love how he gave this bit at an autism benefit because it is also a heavy Autism Mood™

gh0sthoodie

This is the most relatable thing I’ve ever seen.

vulpeculavolans

TRANSCRIPT:

JOHN MULANEY: I normally don’t notice people. I zone out constantly. Have you ever zoned out for a few minutes? I’ve been zoned out since 2014.

AUDEINCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I just - all day long, I wander into traffic walking like Charlie Chaplin, listening to a podcast while thinking about a different podcast.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I can zone out anywhere - I was at the doctor’s office, he was reading me the results of a blood test, it was important I listened, and I zoned out! I was like, “nah, I’m gonna stare at the wall and think my thoughts”.

AUDIENCE MEMBER WHOOPS

MULANEY: I was like, “huh. None of the Beatles had moustaches… but then one day, all of them had moustaches.”

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: “That’s weird, I can’t think of a time a group has done that”. Some people in my life don’t want me to zone out as much - they want me to focus, and they want me to be in the moment, and they want me to do this by meditating. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried meditating, but I’ve been trying it. This is how you meditate, okay? You sit on the floor with your back perfectly straight, which I hate more than ISIS -

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I don’t like sitting up straight! Alright?! It’s never gonna happen! If meditating was sitting hunched over on the toilet with your elbow on your knee while kind of looking at your phone, I’d be the Dalai Lama.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS/APPLAUDS

MULANEY: I don’t like sitting up straight. So you sit up straight, and you breathe, and this helps you stay in the moment. Don’t bother! The moment is mediocre at best!

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I mean, it’s fine. Let’s all try right now - let’s all be in the moment, in silence, right now. [A HALF-SECOND PAUSE] Sucked, right? Not fun at all!

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: That was boring! You gotta zone out! You have an imagination! You have a movie theatre in your brain that plays fake arguments that you win.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS/APPLAUDS

MULANEY: Have you ever just been sitting there thinking about something for twenty, twenty-five minutes, and all of a sudden you’re like “oh my god, I’m driving!” and you remember? You’re like -

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: “I’m going seventy-five miles an hour! I have been for a while! I could’ve changed so many lives!” Sometimes, my wife - I have this wife - she’ll be like, “are you watching the road?” and I’m always like, “I am looking through the windshield.”

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: “And I’m not gonna hit anyone, but no. I’m thinking about the Beatles.”

whatsitnot

Hey @vulpeculavolans added a transcript to this AND THAT IS SO AWESOME THANK YOU SO MUCH!

worstseawitch

“I’m gonna stare at the wall and think my thoughts.” Is my true ADHD/Autism experience lmaoooo

y-that-crazy-five-foot-two-chick

Did I reblog this yet? Who knows? But it has been done as of now.

#autism #adhd

dangerbabegang

What to do if you suddenly find yourself homeless

FOOD

Find your nearest food bank or mission, for food

grocery stores with free samples, bakeries + stores with day-old bread

different fast food outlets have cheaper food and will generally let you hang out for a while.

some dollar stores carry food like cans of beans or fruit

SHELTER

Sleeping at beaches during the day is a good way to avoid suspicion and harassment

sleep with your bag strapped to you, so someone can’t steal it

Some churches offer short term residence

Find your nearest homeless shelter

Look for places that are open to the public

A large dumpster near a wall can often be moved so that flipping up the lids creates an angled shelter to stay dry

HYGIENE

A membership to the YMCA is usually only 10$, which has a shower, and sometimes laundry machines and lockers.

Public libraries have bathrooms you can use

Dollar stores carry low-end soaps and deodorant etc.

Wet wipes are all purpose and a life saver

Local beaches, go for a quick swim

Some truck stops have showers you can pay for

Staying clean is the best way to prevent disease, and potentially get a job to get back on your feet

Pack 7 pairs of socks/undies, 2 outfits, and one hooded rain jacket

OTHER

first aid kit

sunscreen

a travel alarm clock or watch

mylar emergency blanket

a backpack is a must

downgrade your cellphone to a pay as you go with top-up cards

sleeping bag

travel kit of toothbrush, hair brush/comb, mirror

swiss army knife

can opener

spork-of-humanity

Reblog to literally save a life

hipsandheartbreak

if there is a Dollar Tree near you, they have entire food aisles

Planet Fitness also has $10 memberships. you can shower and they have free food days! pizza night 1st monday every month, bagel tuesday the 2nd tuesday every month.

himynameisrollin-deactivated201

Save a life reblog

kukachoosays

i am so glad that i renblogged this however so long ago. i saw this post and shared it with others in mind, but now i am the one who really needs this. id like to think of this as good karma i guess

comrade-jiang

also a good list if anyone ever needs to run away from home for whatever reason.

galaxysorbet

I’d also like to add that some YMCA’s will let you like,,, live in there (my dad lived in a ymca for a bit while he was in grad school till some guy who turned out to be a murder later on invited him to live on his couch BUT THATS A DIFFERENT STORY)

fandomthesickness

Pls reblog

dare-to-dm

Libraries are an amazing resource. They provide shelter from the elements during the day, and have free internet access so you can job hunt, do research, check your messages and communicate and also seek entertainment.

PLUS many librarians are super informed about local resources and can point you towards other organizations that can help you with food, employment skills and finding affordable housing.

spongebob-autisticquestions

“But you don’t act autistic”

I don’t get this too much, but I get this occasionally, so I’d like to explain that although I may not always appear autistic, there’s a lot going on in my head

All the “neurotypical” behaviours I do, I often have to remind myself to act a certain way. For example, if someone asks me how I am. I have to remind myself to say, “I’m good”, or “I’m good, and you?”, and if I’m caught off-guard, I’ll be pretty much non-verbal as I had no time to prepare

If I don’t seem to struggle in a conversation, it’s generally because I’m running it like a script in my mind

Sometimes, although I don’t like to do it, I feel like I have to restrain myself from stimming, because it’s seen as “weird” or “odd”

And sometimes, things might just not “look autistic” to you because you may not have an accurate idea of what autism is. Autism is often portrayed stereotypically in the media, and people may notice autistic traits, but may not immediately realise that it’s autism

#autism #hey look its my life story

margomoment

how do u tell the difference between executive dysfunction, procrastination, and laziness bc fuck idk how to

laranoa

Idk if you were actually looking for an answer but I talk about this with my therapist a lot so heres his wisdom:

Laziness=You don't want to do a task, so you choose not to, and you're fine with that. You either dont care if it gets done or you figure someone else will do it.

Procrastination=You want to do the task, but you put it off because it seems difficult/boring/time consuming.

Executive dysfunction=You want to do the task, and intend to at that very moment. There is no significant reason not to, but you can't because your brain is having difficulty transitioning between activities.

The key difference, he points out, is that if you experience guilt or shame from not doing it, then it's NOT laziness, because those feelings indicate, on some level, a desire to complete the task.

The latter two have more overlap imo, but for myself, I think of it as whether you are having trouble confronting the task itself, or just the transition.

ivystudying

It’s been a while since I’ve made a post, and I figured that these tips might be extra helpful with exam season approaching. As someone who struggles a lot with procrastination, I do everything I can to fight the urge to put assignments off until the last minute (even though I’m not always successful).

As always, good luck! (ᵔᴥᵔ)

kent-andreasen

snout

there’s a post that’s like “its amazing how much you can get done if you just sit down and focus” with a second comment thats like “imagine being nt” and it has like thousands of notes but the op has adhd and was talking about how their meds were working really well there’s another post that’s like “how do you block gay men on okcupid” or something with a reply like “have you tried christianmingle” and it has thousands of notes but the op was a trans girl who wanted to avoid chasers there’s another post that’s like “date a quiet boy who will bring you a glass of water in the middle of the night” with a reply making fun of her “low standards” that has thousands of notes but the op was a teenage girl who was in an abusive relationship at the time that she made that post (and the reply was made by a grown man who had to apparently had to dig through months of this girl’s posts to find that one post & make fun of her for it so: yuck) point is, can we please stop making these assumptions about total strangers on this site, harassing them over innocuous posts theyve made that have been misinterpreted by literal hordes of random people and unless somebodys being outright hateful and disrespectful can we leave each other alone and mind our own business lmao

redlipstickresurrected

Lily Padula (American, b. NY, USA, based Brooklyn, NY) - Back Cover for Blink Magazine #42 aka Pushing Up Daisies Mixed Media

astriiformes

The polar opposite of corporate accounts trying to come across as hip and super friendly are the ones for libraries, aquariums, parks systems and the like, that are basically just trying to get people excited about learning and the wonder of history/science by posting things like this: