Saddest Boy Ever

[hegemon-peter-wiggin]

This is the one and only meta post I will ever make. Submissions are open. Please utilize them.

[mrkanman]

"oh shit im 9 better be innately good at something to base my entire life around" - a horse that will develop no mental illnesses

[hegemon-peter-wiggin]

at least I have a real job

[fishandshesmygills]

every girl should be allowed to lie on the floor for 16 hours a day to cope with the agonies

[hegemon-peter-wiggin]

hey at least I’ll never have to go to Lusitania or something. Would that be fucked up or what.

[hegemon-peter-wiggin]

ok maybe getting launched into space WOULD solve all my problems

[hegemon-peter-wiggin]

graff going “hey is it cool if we launch bean into space” as if there’s literally any better scenario than having bean not be on this planet

[hegemon-peter-wiggin]

ok so what if my brother saved humanity founded a religion brought a civilization back from extinction founded the first interplanetary human colony saved yet another civilization and has a job. at least mom said she’s proud of me

[hegemon-peter-wiggin]

wouldn’t it be cool if people talked to the person in charge of the government instead of their mom. Wouldn’t that be awesome.

[hegemon-peter-wiggin]

is it morally ok to embezzle your brothers trust fund if it’s for a good cause and he’s not going to use it until I’m long dead yes or no