helena

hi...why are you here?

[lassoway]

steve “one brain cell” harrington + text posts

[emolightningmcqueen]

i may ‘have depression’ and ‘not function properly’ but guess what?

[metzosoprano]

what?

[emolightningmcqueen]

Gay

[coffee-and-quotes]

“Suddenly I wonder, ‘Where is the girl that I was last year? Two years ago? What would she think of me now?”

— Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

[dankmemeuniversity]

[just-shower-thoughts]

If Goldilocks tried three beds, then Momma Bear and Daddy Bear slept separately. Baby Bear is probably the only thing keeping the family together.

[thelittlertiddy-deactivated2018]

You ain’t have to put those people business out like that.

[prokopetz]

Y’know, the story straight-up tells us why Mama Bear and Papa Bear sleep in separate beds: they have very different needs in terms of mattress firmness, and those fancy responsive mattresses that can be soft on one half and firm on the other hadn’t been invented yet. There’s no shame in valuing your spinal health.

[wombatking]

The fact that they’re secure enough to admit that they’re better off in separate beds probably indicates that they have a very healthy relationship built on a foundation of mutual love and respect. 

[cincosechzehn-deactivated201901]

their relationship was just right

[godgoodbye-deactivated20190613]

[okay]

[badjokesbyjeff]

[abbelbabbel]

this is such a solid joke omg

[bardstardish]

[gumb00t]

a platypus?

[bardstardish]

[gumb00t]

PERRY THE PLATYPUS??????

[homofied]

Jesus coming out of his tomb on the third day

[animatedtext]

[iameverysparklywoman]

how can you even be a woman without going absolutely batshit insane

[millennial-review-deactivated20]

[asomdpoakdoakd-deactivated20180]

why would i fuck a demon? simple, the status. imagine rolling up into hell already havin had ur back blown out by one of their own. imagine you and a gang of other losers standin at the gates of hell, they’re all crying, scared to death about having a pitchfork up their ass for eternity and you just walk into the arms of your sugar demon? legendary.

[l0v3-r3v9]

this post spoke to me on levels many of you will never understand

[rlckygoldsworth]

Shane Madej ghostwrote this

[shittycryptids]

A glass that pushes cat off of counters

[draws-memes]

[roguishpixiedreamgirl]

This is it. Peak humor

[edwaddd-deactivated20141015]

*phone rings* “hello” “hi! is your refrigerator running” “yes it is” “mine is as well! can’t wait to see your fridge at the race tomorrow”

[dankmemeuniversity]