I don't have much to say about the Neil Gaiman expose. The Vulture article was absolutely horrific, and it's very clear that this was a pattern of behavior with many, many women victimized over the years. I wish nothing but the worst for Gaiman and nothing but the best for his victims.
One important takeaway here, though, is the way that he (and his wife, she's not innocent in this) used their fandoms to identify and groom victims. The quote from the article that struck me most was the following:
People who flock to fantasy conventions and signings make up an âinherently vulnerable community,â one of Gaimanâs former friends, a fantasy writer, tells me. They âwrap themselves around a beloved text so it becomes their self-identity,â she says. They want to share their souls with the creators of these works. âAnd if you have morality around it, you say âno.ââ
This is why parasocial relationships and hero worship are dangerous. There is an inherent power differential between fans and creators, especially when a work attracts a young and marginalized fanbase.
Responsible creators will take steps to enforce a bit of distance between themselves and their fans because they don't want to take advantage of people who look up to them. Creeps and predators will act like consuming their work creates a special and intimate connection between you, like doing unpaid labor for them is an act of charity.
If you really admire someone, if their work means a lot to you, it's easy to let down your guard and to say "yes" to requests that you'd say "no" to if anyone else asked them of you.
Fan worship, stan culture, and parasocial relationships place a huge burden on creators, but it can also transform fans into a ready-made army of potential victims.
Watch out for red flags and blurred boundaries from creators, whether they're authors, YouTubers, musicians, big name fans, whatever. Don't lower your standards and boundaries just because someone produced a work of art that's meaningful to you.
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