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@hellblazeit
melosa: you did that very well. constantine: thanks, melosa. melosa: you must have had a lot of practice in intimidating the elderly. constantine: yeah, but you're well ahead of me in fucking married men.
hellblazer: all his engines (2005)
broke her ankles with that one. crying shame. her career will never recover.
that scene from hellblazer #9 where john hallucinates his better self reading him the riot act, but replace all the dialogue with lyrics from 'cha cha' by sophie hunter.
constantine: shit. rich the punk: shit. [...] look...don't move. just don't bloody move, all right? shit. oh, man...i forgot the duffel bag. stay there for a minute — wait... 'ang on... [...] constantine: oy! will you get a bloody move on— aah! rich the punk: (on the floor) shit. constantine: (also on the floor) shit.
hellblazer #118: "life, death, and taxis"
(twirling my hair) ahaha they're so fucking stupid.
bonus: live dani and slark reaction.
ellie: Things aren't so bad if you can laugh at the Devil, is that it? Oh, John... Oh poor, poor John. The Christians say the Nazarene died for their sins, don't they? That he endured a thousand agonies... But you'll die for your sins alone. And when he gets his hands on you, you'll beg for what the Christ brat got.
hellblazer #59: "fallen women"
has anyone else clocked over the years that ellie has some of the most incisive, casually gutting dialogue with and to john there is to be found in all of hellblazer? every time she shows up, i wind up holding my breath for the other shoe to drop.
priest: i don't, ah, quite know what to say to you. if you are in such terrible danger, why are you taking it all so calmly? constantine: hmh! i dunno, father. i had a bloke beaten to a pulp earlier this evening. that sound calm to you? priest: you did what...? constantine: i must've been off me bleedin' rocker. i've never done anything like it before in me life, y'know?
constantine: but there's header gets his guts blown out, and george is stickin' his head in the noose, and helen gets ... jesus, then friggin' sarah bites me head off — ! everything's coming to bits in me hands and it's so easy to just see red and now, shit, they could've killed the tosser for all i know! and now i'm just like the bastards i've hated all me life! kill him! fire him! close them down! piss all over him! screw you, i can do whatever i want! i so much as blink and you're dead, pal! i'm in charge!! ...
constantine: 'scuse me, father. i'm always like this when i don't get me own way. — hellblazer #81, "rake at the gates of hell pt. 4"
babygirl you are just....so, sooooo offputting. (and grieving, and guilty, and terrified, but yeah: offputting.)
anyway, it's issues like this one that remind me why i kind of hesitate over some of the retcons in the recent spurrier runs, like the one with him now having opened dream's pouch of sand and stolen some before they even met. because like, it's easy enough to look at john constantine now — with 70 years of worst possible choices and unresolved trauma crystallizing underneath his skin to cover up all the soft, hopeful bits where he's used to getting hit — and assign him arbiter of ill intentions, magus of wasted potential, saint of shit choices, but man . . . he was new to this, once. he was still new to this 80 issues in.
80 issues in, and he's not used to losing friends yet; he even has time enough between catastrophes to grieve each individual one. still has enough left to live for at this stage to necessitate running and hiding, instead of bodily throwing himself at the problem like he learns to later, or sitting apathetically by to do nothing except smoke and watch the world fall apart when he finally gives up. fuck, he still apologizes.
and you're telling me this guy, this soppy wet cat motherfucker hiding from the devil in a church basement, so guilty over not knowing what happened to the guy that he paid people (paid chas, so chas could pay people) to attack that the bottle he's holding in this scene isn't even his second or third........this guy's past, more innocent self lied right to the face of DREAM OF THE ENDLESS and got away with it?
hm. i just don't know about all that.
kit ryan: can i come 'round an' sit beside you? john constantine: 'course you can. kit ryan: d'you remember the first time i met you? at brendan's? john constantine: oh, yeah. kit ryan: well, you know how we were talking about the future, and brendan — being brendan — had this theory about life as a vast song staggering to its conclusion... he said how you can guess what the last verse might be, but you don't want to spoil the surprise — right? john constantine: i remember. kit ryan: he was an awful 'oul liar, john. he knew fine well what the last verse was: he was gonna drink himself to death and nothin' i could do or say would stop him. eventually i gave up; i packed my bags and left. and the day i did, i begged him to lay off the drink... well, he was half-cut anyway, and he gave me this droopy grin and he said "ah, sure i know i've had it, but i'll play this bloody thing out to the end anyway. and maybe at the end i'll manage a wee smile among the tears." he was proud of himself. he saw this boozer's nobility in what he was doing. an irish inevitability, that's what he called it. so i looked at this wee man with his face all red with burst blood-vessels and the glass of bushmills shaking in his hand, and i just thought, jesus christ — i've never heard of anything so bloody horrible. john constantine: you... you never told me that before... kit ryan: i couldn't. i knew you looked up to him a bit. you see, john, when i saw brendan do that to himself — and i heard his friggin' stupid reason for it — i swore i'd never again get involved with a man like that again. all he did with his life was try and end it a bit quicker every wakin' moment. and then you came along and i had to break up with you because — oh god, john— i know you're doing the exactly the same thing he did, in your own way.
hellblazer #82: "rake at the gates of hell: part 5"
(tapping the microphone in the grocery store) 'someone has to leave first. this is a very old story. there is no other version of this story.' hello. hello.
kit ryan: hmh. constantine: what... kit ryan: hullo, john. constantine: 'lo, kit.
hellblazer #82: "rake at the gates of hell: part 5"
welcome to kit ryan saturday, every saturday is now kit ryan saturday. new e-law says so. sign the petition in support of kit ryan saturday.
chas chandler: she's our geraldine's kid, john. constantine: yeah, i know that. chas chandler: so i'm going wherever you go. and no bastard's going to stop me. constantine: jesus wept, chas! there's one poor sod dead already because i wouldn't take no for an answer. and i'm gonna move a lot faster if i don't have to keep stopping to tie your shoelaces. chas chandler: you'll still need a driver. and there's me martial arts training — that'll come in handy. constantine: tai kwon wheel wrench? shut up now, okay?
hellblazer: all his engines
exhibit A for why chas is The ride-or-die of all time.
nergal: do you think that hiding in this playground will help you conquer me? constantine: in a word — yes. nergal: YAAAAAH! constantine: uh-oh!
hellblazer #12: "the devil you know"
i would also try to kill him for this.
JOHN CONSTANTINE ART I LOVE
↳ hellblazer: city of demons, issue #1 artist: sean murphy colorist: dave stewart
[ It's been three months. Why haven't I done anything? I burned all the evidence, I didn't go to the police — I haven't even consciously thought about him since. Why? Because I'm scared. Why am I scared — because he's old and he's been killing people for years? No, it's because I liked him. Before I knew, something that he said, perhaps, a gesture? Just for a second I thought I saw myself behind those eyes, trapped, old in a ruined fantasy. I have to find him, don't I? The poison must be drawn, analyzed — an antidote discovered. Murder may be a virus carried by us all, just waiting for one mutating photon to goad it into life. ]
hellblazer #28: "thicker than water"
constantine: the summoning had started. that was all i could think about. the bird had gone. and i'd planned for two years... and i'd seen four friends die and one corrupted... and i'd been too late.
swamp thing (1982) #49: "the summoning"
constantine: busy my arse! what it is, mate, is that you've got the needle because i'm a rival operator, and you think you're too good to mingle.baron winters: well, in terms of ability, there are obvious differences... constantine: oh, yeah? listen... just across the street from your front door, there's a hot dog stand. i feel suddenly peckish. why don't you nip out and fetch me one? shouldn't be beyond a man of your capabilities, eh? baron winters: don't be stupid. why should i want to... constantine: go on! you're so bloody omnipotent, walk across the street and get me a hot dog! baron winters: i...can't leave the house at present. constantine: right. you can't. so let's not hear any more about these obvious differences in ability. bloody hell, i'd have thought you'd be pleased to help. sargon volunteered like a shot.
swamp thing (1982) #49: "the summoning"
"get me a hot dog" makes me fucking LOSE IT
[ he's traumatized from shock. i cut the binding marks into flesh like putty. have to work fast. could come at any... ...moment. ] constantine: gaz, no. fight it, man. don't let it do this. don't let it make you hurt me. i'm your friend, mate. it's john. john constantine. you don't want to hurt me.
hellblazer #2: "a feast of friends"
[ he's traumatized from shock. i cut the binding marks into flesh like putty. have to work fast. could come at any... ...moment. ] constantine: gaz, no. fight it, man. don't let it do this. don't let it make you hurt me. i'm your friend, mate. it's john. john constantine. you don't want to hurt me.
hellblazer #2: "a feast of friends"
tim hunter: will you tell me something? dr. occult: possibly. tim hunter: you four. who are you? i mean, constantine, he's just a bloke, isn't he? dr. occult: john constantine... yes. he dances on the edge of the known, like a crazy man, pitting himself against heaven and the pit, because he is john constantine; and because he is alive.
QUOTES ABOUT CONSTANTINE THAT KILL ME ↳ the books of magic (1990), issue #3
constantine: look, mate, i don't know how to tell you this... computer ritchie: you won't believe where i've been... constantine: ritchie, i... computer ritchie: columbus only discovered a new world. ritchie simpson found a whole new universe. you ought to try it, john. man, what a rush. here, be a mate and get some coffee in. i'm always parched after one of these jaunts. [ goddamn it all to hell. why...? why is it that, lately, everything i touch — — turns to shit in my hands. ]
hellblazer #7: "ghost in the machine"
